Archive for June, 2012

The Love Of Anal Sex

Posted in anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, fucking, slave, submissive on June 30, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I myself love anal sex, just something about putting your slave on all fours, making her spread her cheeks open and sliding my dick in just a little and making her back up on it.

I view anal sex as one of the most submissive acts one can perform or give, the most private part of a slaves body. Most women hate it, some like it, then those very few who truly get off on being fucked in the ass. Anal sex to me is total submission. The slave on all fours saying here it is it is yours take it.

A lot of submissives not slaves but those who are sub, put limitations on sex acts, well I do not swallow, I do not do anal. Um yea Okay but you know to each there own, some men are happy with that, even some dominants

On the other hand the biggest reason men fuck around is because they are not getting something at home, this does not have to be sex, communication, or spending more time arguing than actual talking. Why argue, there is no reason ever to argue, or raise your voice to each other.

The infidelity works both ways though, if your wife or sub, slave like to be eating out, and you are not willing to please guess what, chances are your neighbor will.  That is why communication i so important when first entering a relationship you have to lay all your cards out on the table, we can date and get to know each other, but if I bring something  sexual up I like and you will not do, then we are just friends. I will not enter a relationship unless I get the whole cake and ice cream. I get off on anal sex but if you are going to say no never it wont happen, then I am sure there is someone out there for you, it is not me.

If you are a woman sub or slave and your meeting for the first time, do not be afraid to express your needs, do not be afraid to say the things you will and will not do. Communication.

On the meeting part, if you are meeting a potential master, you never I mean never allow him to take you someplace for a session or sex, never on the first meeting, you never let him tell you, what to wear, or let him tell you to suck his dick. Many fake dominants will play the Dom card.

When I first meet a slave I lay all the cards out on the table, I hide nothing, I will tell you, that your place is to serve, I want head when I want it, I want to fuck when I want, and yes Anal sex when and how I want. There is nothing more erotic than watching your slave lube up your cock, so you can fuck her ass.

Putting her on all fours making her back up on my cock, grabbing a handful of hair, slowly pushing in until your in as deep as you can go, holding it for a minute taking in the feeling, then slowly start to rocking back and forth. Incredible….




BDSM And Sex

Posted in 24/7, anal sex, bdsm, blow job, Cherish, Christians, communication, control, controlling, Dominants, fucking, Masters, oral sex, Protocol, slave on June 30, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

While BDSM is not suppose to be based on sex, there are many who use the lifestyle as a form of abuse. There are many predators who use the lifestyle as a form of getting laid, they prey on new submissives, or those who have a lot of problems in there life. They tend to act like the knight on the white horse, when in fact they could care less, about the one they are using.

Those of us in the lifestyle have needs, and kinks we need fulfilled , without being judged or made fun of. Some have the need to be controlled, and some have the need to control. Some have the need for tons of communication, while other have the need for kinky sex. What ever your kink is in the lifestyle you are sure to find it.

BDSM has been around as long as religion, the only difference between the two is BDSM has a code that most follow, Respect, caring, love, cherish, and communication. While I try not to speak bad about other Dom’s or Masters it is hard to keep my mouth shut to those who are not real.

Every Dominant has there own way of training, there own protocol, there own set of rules. Every Dominant has different standards they hold their submissive or slave to. Every Dominant has different expectations of their property.

I am going to make you look this up, but the original BDSM collar was in fact Blue , it was not until the mid to late sixties it was change to black because blue was no longer cool.

Then comes Gorean, in the beginning no one really took the lifestyle serious,and today many still do not, but I take my hat off to those masters who are serious and real because of there dedication to the lifestyle. Gorean is based more on service than sex, their slaves tend to be held to higher protocol standards than BDSM slaves, many Gorean households tend to have multiple slaves and each one has there own place within the family. One thing you have to remember this is all consensual, their punishments tend to be much more intense than the BDSM lifestyle, I have seen it first hand.

I was invited to a Gorean home in Atlanta last year where I spent the weekend, this Gorean master had 7 slaves with him, and they had all been together for 5 years and longer. His slaves all wore dresses from like the 1600’s they were all long and the slaves were covered. Seven of us sat down to dinner, while the last slave was there for just service , she did not eat until we had all left the table, she made sure our glasses were full at all times, and served what ever food we wanted. His and I spoke while the others only spoke when spoken to. I just set there observing and I was in total awe.

When we were ready to retire for the evening, John told me to pick any slave I wanted for the night, I passed , but was really stunned at the willingness that his slaves showed to please in anyway they could., while we talked after dinner, the slaves sat on the floor, on pillows, and the service slave made sure my glass was full at all times. His house ran like a fine tuned machine, but his job was to keep it tuned up, he had to spend time with each one, it was not about sex, it was about being loved and being accepted.

While BDSM is not suppose to be based on sex, much of the lifestyle is. My relationship is not based on sex, but it is there for my taking. I suppose that is the biggest difference between a vanilla relationship and BDSM many vanilla women hold sex as a tool towards there partner. If you do not act right you get no pussy, and these men fall for this tactic. I am sure you have read where married women have brought charges up on there spouses for rape. How in the fuck do you rape your wife, the one you married.

While in the BDSM lifestyle both enter the relationship with an understanding, while I truly believe that the relationship is based on communication, and commitment, the sex is there for the Master.

If you are my slave, you are there for my taking, when I want how I want, and where I want. If we are watching TV and I tell you to go in the bedroom and spread, then that is what you do, no questions. If I want my cock sucked, your there, or anal, it is there for my taking. We have an understanding, what your role is to be in the relationship.

Now there are exceptions to everything, if my slave has company, friends or family members I am going to respect her time. If she is not feeling well, or is sick, I am there to take care of her. and nurse her back to health, If she has doctors appointments if I am able to make it I will attend with. If she has the need to talk at 3 am, get up make me a pot of coffee bring me a cup and wake me, that is what I am there for. but if I wake at 3 am and want to rollover and dump a load in you then go back to sleep yes that is what my slave is for. Again this is an agreement both have going into a relationship, and the submissive or slave knows they can walk away at anytime.

A slave should be treated with the up most respect, she needs to be shown she is loved, and cared for. She needs to know she is number one and will always come first. She needs to know she is safe and the master will not hurt her. I am one on one I do not share my property , what is mine is just that, you may look but do not touch.

Something else you will find, if a submissive or slave is in a relationship for any amount of time, the limits she once had will slowly fade, with out her even knowing it, the more time a master puts into a relationship, and he show he is truly real, those limits will be no more. Because in the end the sub or slave will do what ever it takes to please her owner, without question.

I truly believe in my heart, women were put here to serve, be it domestic or sexual. This is something I learned on my own, no influence from others. Growing up I observed others, and I learned what not to do, how to act and treat, the BDSM came later, but I knew at a young age I was different, I loved to tie girls up even at the age of 13 or 14. I loved rough sex, so I only got to band the sluts in school. Which at that age you took almost anything that had a pulse.

Hope you enjoyed the post, but most of all BDSM is not about abuse, it is a loving relationship, where two have an awesome bond, trust, both are loyal…



Living Poly

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, Bond, Korean, poly, stripper on June 29, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I lived in a poly house some time ago, we were all together for a little over 3 years. I was living with a little Korean slave, we had been together almost a yr when she brought up the idea of having a third come in. Kim was very out going, she liked being the center of attention. I met her at a titty bar, on a Friday, I went back Saturday , and she left with me and moved in Sunday. I know kinda fast.

I do enjoy going to titty bars sometimes I have not been in about a year, but most of the time I sit at the bar with my back to the stage, if you were counting on me to put something into your retirement you were going to be broke.

So I ordered a Jack and coke my favorite drink, and I was talking to the bartender, and kim came up and sat down next to me, she was just running off at the mouth. She had married some dude in the army, and once here he beat her almost on a daily basis, what a shame. The last time he broke a rib that punctured a lung, I think he got like 5 years or something,anyway. She is just running off at the mouth an I am trying to watch CNN. Finely I said will you shut the fuck up and leave me alone. Kim got up and left, a few minutes later returned. That was the beginning.

Although Kim was talkative and free spirit in the club alone she was very much an introvert , quite and shy, more so withdrawn from the world, wanted nothing to do with other people, then when at work a total different person, she liked the control over men. She made fun of married men because when they walked in the club, they would take there wedding rings off, hoping to score.

If a dude is that hard up where he has to drop three to five hundred on a piece of ass, something is wrong.It was funny watching guys go crazy over some chick shaking her ass, just throwing money away.

Kim knew what my lifestyle was prior to even talking to me, she got the info from the bartender , who I knew from a munch in Daytona, so she already knew the story.. It was weird because while we were alone she would just read and clean, took a half dozen showers daily, when she got off work she would spend an hour in the shower just washing herself, she said she felt nasty from being touched.

I had a friend who owned a pest control company and got her a job answering the phones, it was easy because she didn’t have to see the people on the other end of the line, anyway after about a year, she brought up the idea of having a service slave. Someone who would take care of the house, cooking, laundry, paying bills and so on.

So I started searching, and we met a half dozen or so, until Kim found someone she liked, although I had to like her as well, it was up to Kim, she had to get along with Kim, that was most important.

So Carrie moved in a tall chunky blonde she worked part time at a daycare, and lived with her brother. It took a few days for Kim and Carrie to move her stuff in, but they finely got everything situated.

Now prior to Carrie moving in we were all at dinner, Kim and I sat next to each other, and Carrie across from us. I said here is the deal carrie, this was not my idea, this is Kim’s she feels she needs the extra company, and someone who can take some of the load off of her. You need to understand, Kim is number one she will always be number one, you are number two and will always be number two. If something happens and you two cannot get alone, you have to go, not Kim.

Everything was okay for the first year, the carrie became jealous, she would pick arguments with kim, and when they came to me , I had to stay out of it and could not take sides. They had to work it out, I could not show any favoritism towards either.

Now all you guys think man you had it made, this is far from true, after three months of living together, there period fell with in a day of each other, who fucking knew? If one was siting on the couch with me then the other had to. or if i was in a conversation with one, the other had to be part of it.

So about two and a half years into the relationship, I was on vacation, and Kim was at work, and carrie said she wanted to talk to me.So we went out to lunch, sitting and talking, she was feeling me out asking questions about how I felt about her? What I thought about her? If things would of been different if I had met her first. How did I feel about Kim dancing in a bar when I first met her.

I reminded carrie of the conversation we had prior to her moving in, about where Kim stood in the relationship, and I just got this stare, because that was not the answer she was looking for. Just because a girls dances for a living does not make her a whore.

So at dinner all three of us were talking, and I looked at Kim and said Carrie has to go, she is going to be moving out. I explained to her what had happened at lunch and our conversation. Kim was devastated , she felt like she was betrayed, because she thought of Carrie as her sister, and best friend.

Then it started Kim jumped on Carrie and was giving her the ass beating of her life even though carrie was much bigger, kim was a bad little bitch. After about five minutes I had to break it up.

The next day Carrie moved out, she was crying saying how could I of done this to her. Well it was very easy, because I laid down the law from the start, and carrie knew where she stood number two.

About six months later, Kims mother got real sick so she returned to Korea to take care of her, that was the last contact I had with her, after Carrie, she just changed, became more with drawn, carrie had really hurt her….

So poly is not what it is cut out to be, I am now one on one….I really had no desire to live in a triad , the only reason I did was because of how much I cared for Kim, what carrie did not understand was, I was in love with Kim, and I liked Carrie….



The Big Misinterpretation On Domestic Discipline

Posted in abuse, bdsm, Christians, communication, control, controlling, Domestic Discipline, Humiliation, Masters, slave, submissive on June 28, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I guess there is much confusion on the life of a Domestic Discipline female, there are a couple of big differences, and one of the biggest is ABUSE within a Christian Family mainly the Southern Baptist.

Okay The Southern Baptist a woman is seen and not heard. She has no say so on any matter of the house hold. She is not allowed to offer advice when a problem arises. NO VOICE.

The other big difference is she is married into the lifestyle of DD, she does not have a choice unless she chooses to marry outside of her domination, which is highly unlikely. She has to not only agree to these terms , she has to abide by them. Many religions are the same I was seeing a Jehovah Witness that is right I was banging a witness, but when her husband found out, he took her before the elders of the Kingdom Hall, and she was excommunicated. Meaning she could come to the Hall , but everyone ignored her, her family was not allowed to have anything to do with her any longer. Yes they the Jehovah witnesses have there own form of FF, just as the Mormons. She has to wait a year before she can fully repent and request to join the family again. This is done in front of the elders and the congregation. What kind of humiliation is that, letting 500 people know your private business..

Now your saying Vile where are you going with this? I am going to tell you…

In the BDSM lifestyle everything is consensual, everything is agreed to, before entering a relationship, both have the right to say yes or no. The two the Master and the sub or slave, sit down and hash out the do’s and the don’t s , everything is laid out on the table, either has the right to get up and walk away.

Even in a D’s relationship, the sub or slave still in some situations, be it the Master is making a mistake on a large purchase, or he is putting the family in danger. In a respectful way the sub and slave still have a say.I will be the first to admit, I want a partner I can turn to in a time of need, I want a slave who can think, and offer her advice when needed.

There are many examples I can give you, Jim and Tammy Baker, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts. Look they all practiced DD, then more so which is the worst case, the Rev Jim Jones, in the 70’s. They all lived by the hands of god, and taught a woman is seen and not heard.

There is a huge difference between the two, many Christians put down our lifestyle, make fun of us, tell us we are sick, but you tell me, where the abuse lays…

If you know anything about the lifestyle, you can clearly see where the true love lays.



So I get to Bitch now

Posted in Uncategorized on June 28, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do not generally go out of my way to help people, really I could careless. Unless I see someone in true need.So I am at a 7/11 one morning and this girl is crying, she is being evicted from her apartment, she has no where to go. So I walk up and say hey I have an extra bedroom, you pay me 265 a month, and that is lights, water cable, internet, and washer and dryer, I will even put a lock on your door.

So she moved in, the first month everything was cool. I told her from the start I do not mind if you have company, but I prefer if no one spent the night. Well that worked for a month, then it started, okay I looked over it, then I get a text one day saying her BF lost his apartment and he was going to be staying for a while, that was 4 months ago. So he moves in 3 boxes of stuff, 38 years old and that is all he has.

He is really okay we talk, her and I never did, didn’t really bother me. Just not my type pretty but skankey.

You know I am pretty much set in my ways, but will bend a little if I see a need. Anyway this dude has no car, she had no car. When she moved in sometimes I would give her a ride to work, that is okay.

So I get a text, she ask me if they can borrow the truck, she ask not him, that did not make me think much of him. So I let them borrow, then again and again. Finely I said look Ill just leave the keys out and if you need it, just take it but put the keys back. Well that worked for a day, then i had to knock on their door to get the keys. Wow okay. 

The I go to wash clothes one day, I open the washer, and clothes are in it, they had already been washed, so I open the dryer, wow clothes are in the dryer, I take them out, and put them on the couch, and then put the clothes in the dryer.

I shave while in the shower, always have I guess it comes from being in the Army, so I go to the medicine cabinet, and everything is moved around out of 4 shelves, I now have one. Okay I understand there are two of them. I get the shaving cream shower and shave, I go to bush my teeth, and hmmm someone has been using my tooth paste, are you serious? Toothpaste. So I move it, and put the cap back on.

  I turn to get a towel and they are all gone, so I walk in the bedroom get dressed knock on the door and tell them I need my towels back. I would leave a towel on the rack, and I noticed it had been moved so I felt it and they were drying there hands off on it. I hung another towel up, just for that, but that one is to far to reach for I guess.

I get up in the middle of the night sometimes to drink a glass of milk, old habit, kitchen cabinets are left open, I have found the fridge left open. Okay I am almost at my breaking point here.

So the other day I get a text, they want to talk. We sit at the table, and I was asked why I did not put gas in the truck. Well I do not drive it that much, you two drive it daily. I go to the store, and fishing sometimes, or a munch once or twice a month. Now if you two want to pay half of the insurance then I will put gas in it, but in three months you have put over 3.000 miles on my truck. 

Now she just turned 28, he is 38, and I have never met two people in my life that does not have a clue about life.

I got up this am and two more towels were missing, so now it is time to sit them down, and lay the law down. I am almost done helping.

It is okay to help people, if they are trying to help themselves, but just taking advantage of people and still expecting help. WOW..

My toothpaste.



I am not going to Fix you

Posted in bdsm, control, controlling, molding your slave on June 28, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your a slave, So your life is totally out of control, your behind on rent, your credit card debit is killing you, your phone is ringing off the hook, you weigh 500lbs, you have poor circulation in your leg and need surgery.

So you want a relationship, you want a new master, because he will fix everything, he will take his magic wand, and poof everything is fixed.

So for the most male Dominants in the lifestyle BDSM that is , has there shit together, now things happen that are out of there control, but pretty much everything is like a good book with a good ending, everything just seems to fall into place> Why is this? We tend to think things out before acting, we think of the good and the bad, choices and consequences.

Now I know some so called doms who are pieces of shit, here is a good example, I know a Master if you will who lives not far from me, who is unemployed , lives in a camper, and his only means of transportation is a bicycle. He lives on his mother property. Something is wrong, he is living in a camper in the backyard.

He was over the other day, doing what he does best, drinking my Jack Danial’s, and eating. I have a house full of food.

So I am telling him about this slave I just met, she is really pretty awesome, very beautiful, not a lot of baggage, somewhat younger, we just have somethings to work through.

So he ask me if I know of any single slaves, sure I do, I cannot count on both hands how many I know. All are very good friends. The good thing is if I needed anything I could pick up the phone at anytime.

Now he wants me to fix him up with a slave, well his words were a cunt, that is all he needed to get his life back on track.So let me get this straight, you want me to introduce you to a slave, so you can put her on her handle bars, and take her to your camper, UM not going to happen.

What would they think of me if I even tried such a task, how would they look at me now? Yes he wanted me Vile to fix him, make everything alright. just so he has a steady piece of ass, are you serious?

Then the same goes with a lot of subs or slaves, you fucked your own life up, it is in total turmoil, you have no where to turn, so finding a master he will fix my world.

About six months ago, I was speaking with a slave in Chattanooga, Her being over weight was causing major health issues. Since I am getting ready to relocate in the next 6 or 8 months, I thought it would be nice to already know someone in that area. At first everything seems to be Okay, the first week or so, then they become more relaxed, with you. Then they drop the bomb,OMG WTF .

In a matter of five minutes, I am just sitting there staring at a blank wall. I am 80lbs over weight, I am 4 months behind on my student loan, my rent is two months late. My blood sugar was 320 last night I had to go to the ER, my ex has not paid child support in a year.

So vile being the caring and loving man I am, I said okay I will take the time to set down, and make out a plan for you, get your bills caught up, I even called her landlord who was really nice, just hated the fact she ignored his calls. I put together a diet for her, I called the place that had her student loan and I got it deferred. So everything if fixed now right. Um no I get a call at 2.30 am her blood sugar is 350, she passed out at the bar.

So the next day we talk, I explained again everything I had done for her, to help her get back on track. Her reply was, not joke I want you here to fix me, I need you to be here to walk with me hand and hand.

Um no that is not going to happen, you are not going to bring me into your upside down world, and have your two kids who dad does not support, and call me daddy. Don’t get me wrong I love kids, the slave I met has a little boy I am good with that, but she does not have all the drama going on.

Now here is the deal, if I am into you, I mean really into you, and I see one as a good partner who has potential, and I truly think I can mold you,into what I need, and mold you to help you advance in anything you want to do, be it work, school, or take care of me, in a sense, then I will jump through hoops. to make a relationship work…

Well when you move up here, we can be together, a couple. My reply was that is not going to happen, I do not care how good the pussy is, or how awesome the head is. That is not going to happen.

Now I am the dick head of course, I am cold, none caring, and self centered , okay I can live with that, I have been called worse I suppose.

Why would someone want to bring someone else into your fucked up world, master or slave.If your own family wont help you, or your friends what does that tell me?

My life is not perfect, right now I am handling some issues, but the key word here is handling. I am fixing a few problems that came up, things I had no control over.The difference is I am not picking up the phone expecting someone else to fix me.

So this slave from Chattanooga, tells me what a piece of shit I am, and hopes I die in a car crash, wow. Okay I said have a good day. Yesterday I get a text from who? Yup the Chattanooga girl wanting to know how I am doing, and am I still interested in meeting her once I move. Really, are you serious?

So again very polite I text back and say please lose my number, scroll down to my name hit options and delete.

Now she wished I was dead again.



Molding Your Slave

Posted in bdsm, control, Masters, molding your slave, slave, training your slave on June 27, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I suppose molding sound pretty weird to most people, but the fact is, that is just what a good Master does. It can be an easy task, short, or a hard task, and take sometime.

So you find someone your interested in, and your thinking, you may just want a relationship, with a slave you met, you get along and have a lot of things in common. Any slave is a sign of perfection, strong, and the desire to please. Most are very needy, but that comes with the package.

The idea is not to change the slave, the idea is to mold to fit your needs, and wants. I tell other Dominants to make a list, of what you want in a slave and what you don’t want in a slave. My needs are really pretty simple, a slave who is loyal, willing to learn, follow direction, and push her limits in time.

There is no imperfection in anyone, but of course if that is what your looking for your going to finding, it is always easy to find faults, but if you look inside first the faults are not there.

If a slave is real and true, and she really cares, she will just turn herself over to you and let you mold her. This is not an open door for abuse by no means. I can tell you once you have reached your goal, simply put Perfection.

It takes a lot of time, but if your looking for a long term relationship or more the investment can come with great rewards.. Patients is the key, and learning your new slave, asking a million question.

With the molding comes great rewards for both, the master makes the slave, but the slave also makes the master, the two work as a team… Again Perfection…



Dominants And There Dicks

Posted in bdsm, Dominants, Masters on June 27, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

So this am I was on Fetlife, which at one time was a very close moderated site, but is not growing somewhat Lax. Just looking at different groups, and what really blew my mind is the amount of men whose profile picture was a pick of there cock.

Even in the BDSM lifestyle there has to be some respect, but over the years all of this has changed, the lack of caring and respect just blows me away.

The Dominant in the relationship is suppose to set the example, he is suppose to be a leader, a teacher, and at times a counselor. He is suppose to be someone a sub or slave can seek for support from.

So looking through profiles a 350 pound man holding a star wars light saber, yes i am most serious. A Dom sub couple who was mentoring a black female, were in relationships with 15 different women. Yes a picture of his cock. Wow

What happened to the Dignity a Dom or master was carried, walked proud, did not have to boast about who or what he was.

Its just not fetlife, I closed my account on ALT several months ago for the same reason.

What I find more disturbing is there are subs and slaves who look up to these I guess men, women who depend on them, for care.

It just blows my mind. No Respect.


What A Collar Means

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, collaring ceremony, Collars, events, Love, slave, submissive, TPE on June 24, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I ran across the article and wanted to share, I wish I had wrote this…

Collaring is when a Dom/me claims a sub as their own. This can be literal–actually placing a collar around the neck of the submissive–or it can be figurative and be an understanding between the people involved. Often the literal option is chosen, because the collar is recognized within the community as a mark of ownership.
Collars are, again, a mark of ownership. Collars mean that a Dom/me has exclusive rights to the sub that is wearing their collar, and that he or she makes any decision that affects that sub. In some communities it is accepted that a person will check with the Dom/me before any interaction, even conversation, with the submissive. Most communities are not this formal, but that doesn’t mean that the Dom/me does not have complete control over what is done to the sub that is wearing his or her collar. To touch, molest, use, or require something of a collared submissive by someone who is not their owner and is not acting under the owner’s instruction is considered unforgivably rude. It is valid and acceptable for a sub to ignore an order from a Dom/me who is not their owner or is not sanctioned by their owner.
The collar means, besides ownership, that the Dom/me has agreed to the care and protection of the submissive. The education, behavior, nurturing, and punishment of the submissive all fall to the Dom/me who has placed the collar. If there is a problem with the sub, or if there is something desired of the sub, their Dom/me should be consulted first. Never assume you have any rights to a collared sub that is not your own.
Collaring is a serious step. By placing a collar, you are agreeing that this person is in your care, or you are agreeing that you will surrender your personal power to this person for as long as you wear their collar. It is a step that should be weighed carefully and not jumped into blindly. Make sure, before the collar is placed/accepted, that you and your Dom/me agree on what that collar means to you both.

Collaring Ceremonies

Collaring is much like taking wedding vows, and as such there are formal collaring ceremonies that can be performed. Master and I did not do this; rather we found a quiet spot and spoke of what placing the collar meant, and what we would both do to honor those promises.
A collaring ceremony can be private, as ours was, or you can involve friends. It’s up to you and your Dom/me, really, how formal and public you wish to make this step. There are formal collaring ceremonies, often written for the Gorean lifestyle. Collaring is generally not undertaken in the general public, as it’s seen as a very personal and private thing. If you do choose to make it public, be sure that all of those in the immediate area are comfortable with witnessing this part of your life. Keep it Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

Different Kinds of Collars

Collars can take many forms. They can be made of leather; they can be simple jewelry chains; they can be necklaces; they can be locked in place and the key kept by the Dom/me; they can be permanently linked around the neck; they can be worn 24/7; they can be only worn when in bed, or when in a scene, or when in the home, or when in the presence of your Dom/me; collars are only limited by your imagination. Check the sites listed on the Toy Box/Toy Stores page for ideas.
Collars do not necessarily have to go around the neck, either. If there are reasons a person cannot wear something around their neck, anything given to them and worn with the understanding that comes with a collar is perfectly valid. For stylistic reasons, some people choose body piercings to be their ‘collars’. I wear a my leather collar for all to see; my labia rings cannot be seen but are just as significant between me and my Master, as he gave the permission and was there for their placement.
A consideration for collars is whether the collar can be worn in public, and the situations the submissive will face wearing a collar in public. If you are a high-level executive, it is impractical to wear a 4″ wide black leather posture collar to work. For this reason, a fine chain or necklace that can be tucked under clothing may be a better choice.
At this stage in my life, I do not have anyone other than my Master that I must answer to. For this reason, I wear my collar (a black 1.5″ leather collar) 24/7. It is understood, however, that I can take it off when I feel it is necessary. As I write this I am not wearing my collar; I have taken it off to let a sore spot on my neck heal. I do not wear my collar in the bath; this is to protect the leather. No matter why I’ve taken it off, however, I am always aware of the agreement that my collar signifies and always honor that.
Collars can also be metaphorical. There are reasons you may need a collar that cannot be seen. For this sort of thing, agree between yourself and your Dom/me what the collar means, what is expected of you while you ‘wear’ it, when you will ‘wear’ it, and under what grounds you may ‘remove’ it. This requires a lot of talk and a lot of agreement, but this sort of collar is just as strong as a physical collar.

Caring for a Collar

A collar is traditionally the possession of the Dom/me, left in the care of the submissive. As such it is understood that it is the sub’s duty to care for the collar, keeping it safe and cleaning it when necessary. This is applicable, obviously, only to collars that can be removed.

Leather Collars

If the collar is leather, use a good saddle soap (such as Fiebings’ Saddle Soap, though there are many good saddle soaps out there) to wash it occasionally. Using a soft cloth, dampen the cloth, rub the cloth in the soap, work the cloth over the collar, dry the collar and work it through the hands until it is completely dry. NEVER get a leather collar wet (in the bath, swimming) and then allow it to dry while in place. It is leather and it will stiffen from straight water (that’s why you use saddle soap) and leather shrinks when it dries. If for some reason it does get wet, take it off and work it through your hands until it dries. It is impractical to place a permanent leather collar.

‘Jewelry’ Collars

Sometimes the collar is not the stereotypical leather collar, but rather a chain or necklace that can be worn in public and not attract attention. These can be removable, or they can be permanently linked around the neck of the submissive. If it is removable, a good silver cleaner or jewelry cleaner gotten from a jeweller’s will clean the collar well. It’s a bad idea to clean permanent ‘jewelry’ collars while they are in place, as the chemicals that clean silver and gold can be caustic to the skin.

‘Collar Rules’

If a collar is not worn 24/7, it is the sub’s duty to make sure it is within easy reach at all times. It may also be their duty to place it around their neck at certain times (for example, upon entering the home), but this is often determined by the Dom/me and sub together. It is unspoken that the sub will remember their ‘collar rules’ and not need to be reminded once they are established.
As the submissive wearing your Dom/mes collar, it is up to you to honor and defend that collar when your Dom/me is not around. It was placed around your neck with the understanding that you gave up your personal power to your Dom/me. While you wear that collar, it is expected that you will obey any orders that have been set for you, even if no one is watching. To defy a rule while wearing the collar of the person who made that rule would be dishonorable.
Also, you may be called upon to defend the collar if you wear it in public. I have had many people look at my collar and ask, “Is that a dog collar?” I just smile and say, “No, it is not.” When questioned further, I say that it was a gift from a very precious person, and it means something very significant between the two of us. If you answer calmly and with a smile, it’s a rare person that will pursue the subject. In fact, I have never had anyone challenge me further once I offer my answers.

Being collared is a huge step, but it is also rewarding and gratifying. Wearing a collar is a great privilege, and should not be undertaken lightly. Each partner needs to agree about the significance of the collar; once the agreement is reached, you as a submissive are at once completely free and completely secure.



Again The Collar

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, collaring ceremony, Collars, control, controlling, Discipline, married, Meeting, Respect, Safe and Sane, slave on June 24, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I spent Friday night with a Slave, it was her first time spending the night with a Dom. Very young, very naive. Another Dominant contacted me and wanted me to work with her. A young 22 yeas old, very beautiful, very pale skin, she was just incredible. Before you starting thinking, no there was no SEX none, as bad as I wanted to.

I cooked dinner for her, we played some cards, unexpected company showed up, we drank a little , she did not, got a little mouthy, but that is expected from someone so young.

She was abused very badly as a child, and once into the lifestyle abused even more, only used for sex, no communication, no training, did not take her out, just sex.

Her last Dom collared her the second day I believe it was.. She did not know where he lived, nor was she allowed to go to his house. His reason was he had 3 kids at home, and I am guessing he is married.

We spent a lot of time just talking, eh a little bondage she wanted to try, that was the extent of it. We watched TV and cuddled. She told me it was the first night she had been able to sleep peaceful with out bad dreams. She thought she did not turn me on because I didn’t fuck her, which is what she expected while driving over.

To someone so young they are eager to please, still confused about who they are, or what there role is in the lifestyle. Many time I will try to talk someone so young out of the lifestyle, just to prevent abuse, but at there age they are not going to listen anyway.

She is a cutter, this is how she deals with her problems or when she gets depressed, or has a panic attack, but she cuts with her finger nails, which I believe it somewhat painful. In her picture she is wearing a dog collar, yes a dog collar, two days after meeting this piece of shit. By the way I have found no one in the community who has even heard of him. He refused to wear a condom, so she started birth control, until it kicked in they just had anal sex. Fucking incredible. Being so young and eager to learn she did not know the difference.

She had a Dom who was protecting her well suppose to be, but he is more fucked up, than the dude she was seeing, a male 24 year old switch, who owns a slave, and is looking for a mistress to beat his ass, while looking for another slave to move in.. Well neither are in her life any longer, I put a stop to that, real fast.

I am going to say if you stood 100 dominants side by side you may get 20 who are real to the lifestyle, maybe. The amount of predators in the lifestyle is a very high number, they seek out young subs and slaves as easy prey, who know no better, it can last for 6 months to a year before they finely figure everything out.

You know I talk a lot of wild shit on here, but I speak the truth, I have even been told by slaves and submissives they fear me. I scare them. While for the most I am a sadist, I do respect others, I do not try to push anything on anyone, it is about Safe, Sane, and Consensual. It is not about abuse. It is not about using, or misleading someone who has no idea about the lifestyle.

Being a Dominant, you are to be caring, loving, and yes passionate , when needed. We are there for support and guidance. To love and cherish.

I do not use a consideration collar, nor do I use a training collar. I use the Collar. The collar is earned not giving. If you met a woman Friday for lunch would you marry her before dinner, I think not and if I was her I would run. There is no way you could possibly know someone well enough to marry that soon.

A Collar is the joining of two, an agreement between two, the two becoming one. A collar is earned not giving, and it is not used to get pussy. The problem is to many men think with there dicks.

Here are my thoughts, you meet a slave, and you think you have, a lot in common, so you begin a relationship. You begin to train, to fit your needs, and your wants. If the slave has issues, you work with her, you help and guide, you help with any goals they may have and support in many ways.. You become her back bone, her best friend, you gain her trust. Most of all the truth, that is one of the most important things is the truth. .

Once you have set your rules or guidelines , and your goals, this is where you find out just how serious the slave or submissive is. This is where you find her heart.

I am thinking at the earliest maybe 3 months, to 6 months for a collar better if a year. Now will she want to wait this long probable not, but it is up to you, to explain, that a collar is earned and not giving, a collar has the same meaning as putting a ring on a finger.

If I find someone I am truly interested in and she is not a masochist, I can somewhat bend, and be just as happy, if we are truly compatible. That is what being a Dominant is about. You are in control, and not controlling. The love is like no other..

When you first meet, be honest about what your expectations are of her, if you set rules start out with a few and build up, the last thing we want is to setup for failure. Our goal is to build up. Explain in detail how the collar is earned so she fully understands. If you set rules stick with them, you cannot change midway to fit your needs. If a rule is broken, discipline her right then and there. She will respect you much more if you follow through with your word.

As far as collar go, I really like the eternity  collars, they are made to fit, and once on only you the dominant can take it off….. It means so much more to see that you have taken great steps to put a collar on her.. Here is a good link..You can have these made just for her, they also come in bracelets, and anklet’s….

If you know of a submissive or a slave who is being abused, talk to them, try to explain how the lifestyle really is. Will she listen probably not, but she will thank you in the future…

The collaring ceremony can be private, or at a public function such as a local munch. You can pick out another Dominant to perform the collaring, may time a dominant and his slave will take part in. Remember this is her big night, you want to make it as special as you can to her , the effects will last many many years… Remember she is special. and should be treated as such.

Much Love…