Archive for September, 2012

I Do Not Understand Some Dominants.

Posted in abuse, bdsm, masochist, Master, poly, sadist on September 30, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

When chong and I were together, we were inseparable like peanut butter, and Jelly. Were one was the other was.Although she was a dancer, she is the only one I have ever trusted. I knew deep inside that she would have my back no matter what, the most loyal person female, slave, partner and friend I have ever known.

She knew me inside out , she knew when I wanted to be left alone, she knew when I needed to talk, she knew what I wanted for dinner on a daily basis. At this point and time my life was perfect, like a dream, and I woke up the day her plane left the Orlando Airport.

The a fog hit me, an emptiness I had never felt.Chong was not a Masochist, far from it, and I would of never hurt her in anyway. Chong was on a pedestal she could do no wrong. I never left a mark on her, and although I am a sadist she was able to fill that void. She was the first who could get her way, and I would not realize it for sometime that she was able to play me, but not to the point of taking advantage .

She always had this innocent look about her. She was really average looking, but her personality made her a beauty queen,and had a body that was built for sin.

She came to me about wanting a sister slave, a friend someone she could hang with, friends. I thought about it for a couple of weeks, she knew not to ask, but patients was one of her best quality’s.

I sat her down, and agreed , but she would be the one to do the searching, I was not going to take part in it. She was the one who wanted the relationship, a sister.

Now here is the thing, if it had been the other way around and I wanted another slave, then it would of been my responsibility to find a sister slave, but the key would of been, she would of had to got along with chong because she was the number one, and nothing was going to change that.

If I wanted to add a third, I would never direct the slave to find someone. The fact of the matter is, most subs or slaves do not want a third, but do so just to please.

I run across profiles all the time, where a Master is looking for another slave, and he has pictures of his slave, I suppose exploiting her in a way. I think it should be the other way around, the Master should be doing to looking, and use his own pictures. I will say this only really happens if the sub or slave is new to the lifestyle and really knows no better.

Even when it was the three of us, I never had sex with Beth, she was chongs toy not mine, although Beth did follow my rules.

Today One is more than enough, although in the right relationship, if the sub wanted a sister I would probably go along with it.

This is just my opinion I think it is not a good idea to have the submissive looking for another sub for her Master. Let the Master do the leg work. If the Submissive finds several subs and the Master is not happy with any of them. This is setting the submissive up for failure.

I will say this again I am not speaking about anyone, I was just fishing today , and the topic popped into my head..

If I was in a relationship, and I wanted another slave, the I would do the search.First thing is to make sure the submissive is really okay with the idea. Make sure she is not just saying yes to please.



Posted in Uncategorized on September 29, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is fucking nice

Countries That Have Visited Today

Posted in bdsm, Brazil, Countries that viewed my blog today, France, India, Italy, Mexico, Morocco, Norway, Russian Federation, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States on September 28, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile
Country Views
United States FlagUnited States 45 I love women in general.
France FlagFrance 41 I love french women, not matter what they say it sounds hot.
United Kingdom FlagUnited Kingdom 15 Yes the accents as well..
Morocco FlagMorocco 7 Morocco this is the first, the women are hot.
Mexico FlagMexico 6 Mexican women are smoking hot. I love Latin women.
Italy FlagItaly 5 I love the Fiat Commercials , very hot.
India FlagIndia 5 Women from India are hot as well I love the skin color.
United Arab Emirates FlagUnited Arab Emirates 3 I cannot picture the UAE being into the BDSM lifestyle I could be wrong.
Brazil FlagBrazil 3 Brazil Again I love Latin women..
Norway FlagNorway 3 I love European accents.
Russian Federation FlagRussian Federation 2 I know a few Russian women here, not into the lifestyle, just my luck.
Germany FlagGermany 2 Yes we all know Gretchen should of married her.
Australia FlagAustralia 2 Very Hot women.

More About Me

Posted in bdsm, Native American on September 28, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

During my time of being married, I had to look for things to occupy my mind. I need to get my my mind off of the BDSM lifestyle.

A little history my father is full blooded Creek Indian, my mother was German who has since passed away, that is where I get my blue eyes from.My hair started turning white at an early age. Around 17 or so. During the summer when I am out I turn a dark red , from my heritage I suppose.

During the first year of my marriage I met a woman called Grandmother she is full blooded Choctaw and her son Brad, another Gentleman Who name was Ghost also full blooded Choctaw. I spent a great deal of time with them. that is when I became interested in my native Heritage.

Grandmother and Ghost and a Native American Group which was inter tribal , that met on a monthly basis , a native American Circle. At this time I was put in contact with a With a gentleman who was full blooded Mohawk and a shaman.

My giving name from Silver Hawk is, Grey Running Wolf.

This was around 1997, I was asked to be an Inter tribal chief, .A small group of about 60. The Mohawk who lived in NC at the time Him and his wife packed up their bags and moved to Florida, so he could take part, in our circle.

In late 1997, I set up programs for us to do things with the local Boy Scouts, We would take part in cross overs, that is when a cub scout is moving up to a boy scout, and we worked some school programs as well. schools. I was introduced to a native american musician  who has an incredible voice, and is the founder a program for a land conservation program..

In 1998 I contacted Voluisa County about putting on a Native American Festival. I was giving the use of the Voluisa County Fair Grounds at no cost.

It took approximately 6 months to put the first festival together. Now to give you an idea I had no cash on hand. The first thing was to find a Native Drum to play for the weekend 4 Days Thursday, Friday, Saturday , and part of Sunday. I was giving the name of a drum, they were called,  Family Drum, at a cost of 5.000 dollars.

After I booked the drum I needed a head dancer, and I had just the man, he was already a member of our inter tribal, Herb S a well known Native American Dancer.

Then I needed 30 vendors, and two Kitchens. The day before the Festival I had a Jamaican kitchen call me and wanted to setup they had not had any work in sometime so I invited them and I agreed to let them pay the vendors fee after.

So with the drum, the head dancer, the porta potty’s and the million dollar insurance policy, I was at like 9500 dollars, and I still have not taking in any money.

I wanted people to have fun, the vendors to have fun, I had native american dancers come in from all over the US. It took about 6 months to put everything together. The week of the festival, I hit a snag, the fair grounds brought to my attention that there would be no camping on the grounds, well this was not going to work, being this is standard practice with the vendors.

I went to the county 3 days before the festival, and was about to speak with 2 county council members and I was able to get the problem resolved.

The day of, I charged no admission , I had points sat up around where each vendor was doing demos for the children, I am thinking I am still broke, the Drum and head dancer has not been paid I am still almost 6 grand in the hole. Friday about 6 thousand people showed up, Saturday almost 10 thousand. Friday night I went to each vendor including the kitchen. I had each vendor donate 3 items, and the kitchens would donate 3 meals each. I approached the head singer and said we have a little problem. You need to get paid, so hear is what we are going to do.

In between breaks we are going to auction everything off here, to raise money, the head singer was the auctioneer, in two days we raised almost 9 thousand dollars, off of the things that had been donated.

The first festival was a total success everybody got paid, and I was able to donate money as well. So it was a stressful weekend, but mission accomplished.

Shortly after the festival Is when things started to go a stray. I had confided with our shaman about my lifestyle, which was not a good thing to do. Things got out, and I was being looked at funny. After the First festival, The county approached me about doing another one in Barberville Florida at a Park.

A repeat of the first festival, but this time over 12 thousand kids showed up, this time a dollar a head, I was much smarter this time around. Although it rained a lot during the weekend it was a total success. Even though I was able to make more money this time around, I had to put out more money because of the lack out power, and lighting, I I had to rent 9 huge generators with lights.

In a short time I became well know in the native american community. I had a voice. and our own circle had grown to well over 150 members. Still there was small talk going around about my lifestyle, even more when I showed up with my wife and another companion.

Needless to say, it did not take long for me to step down, the people who were closest to me, were not as close as I thought. That is when I decided I would not hide my lifestyle any longer. People could accept me for who I was or not, if not fuck them.

I am now an active Buddhist, when I left the inter tribal I needed something more spiritual, I was missing something , and I found it. I am at peace with who and what I am. I am a man of the truth. I do everything by the book, and I am brutally honest.

I just wanted to share a little more about me..

Much Love


Making Your Slave Feel Owned

Posted in bdsm, Discipline, fucking, Humiliation, Master, munchs, relationships, Rough Sex, Rules, serve, session, sex, slave, submissive, Video on September 28, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I believe this is something many Dominants over look on a daily basis. I feel a slave or submissive has the need to feel not only wanted, but needed.

Two Keys Words ,Training and Consistency

One of the main factors is consistency within the relationship. If you have rules, enforce when broken, if you do not or just threaten why have rules at all? When a slave ask what you want for dinner, do not say I don’t care, or it does not matter. A slave wants to know exactly what you want. I want a steak medium rare, baked potato, with butter and sour cream, and a salad, with the toppings you want.

Pick a hair style for her, her clothes when going to a BDSM function , a munch. When going out to eat order her food..

If watching TV have Her kneel at your feet to request to sit next to you..

It is the little things we as Dominants can do on a daily basis to remind one that she is owned, but again consistency is the key. The more you make your slave feel owned, the deeper her submission will be..

I found this and wanted to share..

I did NOT write this. And the source I found it from also didn’t write it. to be fair Credit is due!  but i have no idea whom to credit

One of the main factors, in feeling truly OWNED is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of a Master’s control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a slave is reminded her submission, the deeper it becomes — and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas you might want to try, and no matter what rules you decide to make your own, please be consistent. If you are unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules you make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make a slave feel less loved than to have a Master who ignores her transgressions and does not exert their dominance.

1. Have her wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of her submission.

2. When she has broken a rule, talk to her as you punish and make her speak in detail about why what she did was wrong.

3. Make her take her shoes off every day as soon as she enters your house.

4. A beautiful, special collar will make any slave joyous. Take the time to select the right one, and have her wear it as often as possible.

5. Have her call you each day at a specified time, no excuses.

6. Give her anklets and tell her she must wear one of them every day, no excuses.

7. Whenever possible, have her kneel before you and ask to accompany you upon the furniture.

8. Choose her hairstyle and go with her to get it cut to your specifications.

9. Whenever possible, have her display herself whenever you come into the room — legs spread, shirt unbuttoned. No matter what position you take, she is to be sure your view is unobstructed

10. When around the kids or vanilla friends/family, make sure she has an alternative title for you besides Master, such as “my love” etc.

11. Use her sexually in a rough, selfish way when you feel like it, interrupting whatever she was doing.

12. Choose a food that she dislikes and have her eat a small portion every day for a week.

13. Have her crawl to bed each night.

14. Bring her a stuffed animal each time you go out of town.

15. Choose her clothing each day.

16. Have her get your daily wardrobe ready for you the night before.

17. After punishment, have her kiss your boots and thank you for loving her enough to correct her.

18. Have her bring a warm towel and wash and massage Your feet each day after work.

19. Get her tattooed (Your choice of art and location).

20. Get her pierced (or preferably if You are trained, do it Yourself).

21. Get her branded.

22. Respect, but push her limits.

23. Ask her each night what she did that day that You would not have approved of. This gets her in the habit of being completely honest, and also makes her conscious of the things she could do better each day.

24. Teach her exactly how You want her to kneel, and demand perfection.

25. Reward her by allowing her to please You sexually.

26. Supervise her workout routine.

27. Each night she is to kneel next to the bed asking permission to sleep with her Master, and each night she does, she is to kneel by the bed in the morning and thank her Master for the privilege.

28. Have her polish Your boots weekly, on her knees at Your feet.

29. Negotiate until you are both comfortable with the terms and then sign a contract.

30. Give her a writing assignment: “The definition of Pain – 1000 words”

31. Have her keep a diary of her journey into submission.

32. Instruct her that she may never get herself something to eat or drink in Your presence without first asking You if You want something.

33. Some evenings, keep her on a leash and take her with You no matter what You do….even if You do not speak to her or include her in Your activities.

34. When appropriate, she is to speak when spoken to.

35. Reward her by giving her delicious pleasure.

36. On occasion, share her.

37. When it suits You, instruct her not to make eye contact with You without Your command.

38. Have her keep her body clean shaven at all times.

39. Conduct random inspections of her body to make sure she keeps herself to Your specifications.

40. Make her wear a butt-plug under her clothes whenever she goes out alone.

41. For transgressions: have her write Your name on the bottom of her foot and tell her to remember she is walking on You with each step. (This is harder to do that You might think.)

42. Master the art of the meaningful piercing stare.

43. Give her reading assignments.

44. Test her on the reading assignments, to make sure she learned the appropriate lessons from each.

45. Instruct her to keep her toenails painted perfectly everyday, and check to see that they are before bed

46. Make it her responsibility to put the toys away after play and punishment, and to keep them clean and neat.

47. Reward her by letting her name her favorite scene, toys, etc.

48. Call her your slut, your pet, etc.

49. Have her make a list of the 10 things that make her the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed.

50. Work with her, having her do the things on the list, so that she conquers those fears and hesitations.

51. Sometimes, pamper her — wash her body and hair, having her remain perfectly still as you turn her and move her about.

52. Hand feed her like a small child on occasion.

53. Have her eat from a dog bowl on occasion.

54. For transgressions: make her wear a sign to the next public function naming her crime.

55. Praise her dedication when she has pleased you well.

56. Instruct her that she is never to touch your body without permission.

57. Have her write a meditation about her submission, devotion and trust in you, to be said aloud each night before falling asleep.

58. Some days allow her no clothing whatsoever.

59. For transgressions: deny her play.

60. In the same ilk, For transgressions: deny her orgasm. Give her sex, but she can’t cum.

61. For transgressions: Command that she is to be silent for a week.She may not speak, and will take whatever pain or pleasure you give as silently as possible.

62. Treat her like a pet in front of friends, making her present herself, turn herself, etc.

63. Give her a writing assignment: “The definition of Obedience – 1000 words”

64. Have her wear nipple clamps all day.

65. Tell her one morning that she must cum for you 15 times that day, and then write about the day.

66. Have her wear a butt plug under her clothing out to dinner.

67. On your birthday, let her receive your spankings.

68. Spend time training her how to move to please You.

69. For transgressions: stand her in the corner like a 3 year old.

70. Always flog her after completion of a task, even if it was satisfactory. A well flogged slave is a happy slave.

71. Speak about her as if she were not present.

72. For transgressions: deny her any D/s at all for a week, letting her do just as she pleases, not allowing her to serve you in any way, no punishment, no instruction, no play, banning titles of respect, etc. This will shame her and certainly make her strive to please you when it is over and she is in her place again.

73. Defend her honor to those who would disrespect your prized possession.

74. Pet her often.

75. Make her be webmaster for your site

76. Whenever possible, have her sleep in a cage.

77. Buy her sexy or slutty clothes to your liking.

78. Teach her things, expand her knowledge, in a patient daddy way.

79. When you are apart, call her and have her masturbate for you.

80. If you choose to play with others, make sure your slave knows who is first in your heart and that some things are just for her.

81. Lead her with a loving fist in her hair.

82. Wake her each morning with an assigned task for the day and make sure it is done by day’s end.

83. Teach her patience.

84. Videotape your sessions and watch them together.

85. Have her place her regular wear shoes in a line by the front door. They should be in a straight line with the laces tucked inside. Inspect them periodically.

86. Keep a list of her transgressions in a little book. Let her slip for a while thinking you are not noticing. Then one day, bring out the book and have a day of atonement.

87. Tickle her just because you can.

88. Have her be perfectly still and quiet while you bring her extreme pleasure. When she moves or makes a sound punish her then return to the pleasure.

89. Keep her locked in her collar when you are home. Wear the key to the lock around your neck.

90. When possible, have her cook and serve your dinner wearing nothing but a collar.

91. Buy her a digital camera and give her assignments to take pictures of herself for you in certain outfits or positions, etc.

92. Don’t be afraid to bring her to tears, for they are yours as well.

93. Take her and the dog to the park, both on leashes.

94. Have her fall asleep between your legs, licking your cock and balls, and tell her you expect her to be there when you awake.

95. Occasionally, fulfill her fantasy.

96. Master’s word is the last word.

97. Be consistent.

98. Take the time to talk to her, learn her fears, her dreams and fantasies. Use your knowledge.

99. Specify exactly how she will address you in private and in public.

100. If you are willing to correct her each time she forgets until it is a habit, have her refer to herself as “this slave”



Geishas and Whores

Posted in Asian Women, bdsm, Fetish, Geisha, Japan, Japanese, Kink, kinky, Whores on September 25, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I ran across an interesting Article I wanted to share.

by Guest Contributor (and regular commenter) Atlasien

Geisha cultists seriously disturb me.

Surprisingly enough, many of them are women. They love the geisha mystique, the tinge of nostalgia for a bygone era, the careful artifice, the idea of humans as living artwork.

I’ve enraged a few of them simply by dropping the “geishas are prostitutes” bomb. They tell me they know about Japan more than I do. I’m a lowly mixed-race Japanese-American. I don’t even speak Japanese. I’m pluralizing “geisha” wrong. I obviously have no respect for the traditions of my ancestors. Geisha = serious business. Ha!

Geisha are not very relevant in modern-day Japan. They’re a fossilized archetype, almost like ninja. If you asked a group of Japanese people the burning question, “are geisha prostitutes?” depending on region and generation, you would probably get a variety of answers: “that’s an insult, of course not!” “Well, it depends on your definition.” “Yes, they’re high-end prostitutes.” “I don’t really know.”

But a lot of people, especially white people, are invested in defending geisha, in putting them on a pedestal. And when they do that, it does harm to Japanese-American women and to all Asian-American women. Appropriation is almost too mild of a word. It’s not just theft, it’s domination. Imagine a young girl, on the verge of understanding herself as a sexual being, looking deeply in the mirror… and seeing her mirror image controlled by puppet masters.

I’ll try to explain further. The geisha figure is one end of a continuum of stereotypes of Asian woman sexuality. The continuum is inanimate. Other races have different sexual stereotypes: for example, “animalistic”. But Asian women are neither animal nor human. They’re inanimate things. They’re so passive that they barely even move. On the high end, they’re beautiful clockwork dolls, to be petted and treasured and collected and shown off. The most expensive ones can’t even be bought for money; instead, you have to win them through your superior knowledge of authentic Asian culture. On the low end, they’re doormats, sperm receptacles, happy ending massage girls, completely impersonal and interchangeable, existing for nothing more than a moment’s pleasure. Common sex jokes about Asian women concentrate on the idea that they have “stripped down” bodies — neat, efficient, even machine-like — and facial features that lack human expression.

It’s a fairly simple stereotype, and all this obfuscation about geisha unnecessarily complicates it.

I’ve also been accused of being prudish and anti-sexual when I say things like this, so I’ll try and explain where I’m coming from. I used to say I was a sex-positive feminist when I was young. I don’t call myself that anymore. The plain, pragmatic variety of feminism I was raised in always gave me clear benefits and made me a stronger person, but this new extra label I’d discovered never became as relevant in my day-to-day life. One reason was that I actually worked in the sex industry for a while, in a strip club, and thought it was a horrible environment. I still don’t believe in a unique, essential stigma attached to sex work, so I’ll say that while it was a horrible environment, there are plenty of others just as bad. I did notice there was very little barrier between work identity and life identity for most of the people in the industry. But then, that’s true of plenty of other jobs: bartenders, politicians and police, to name a few. I saw a lot of the strippers get sucked into insanely negative patterns of behavior, getting high on coke all the time, subsidizing parasitical boyfriends and spending what was left of their money on $100 purses the size of postage stamps. Others were instead sending all their money back to Eastern Europe and seemed deeply depressed about having to work there.

I was a cocktail waitress. My outfit, and the female bartenders’ outfit, was skimpy; it involved an ass-cape. We were all selling sex in some form.

While I’m not “sex-positive” I don’t reject all the theories, and I have sympathy with a lot of sex worker activism, so I do want to say this: lumping in all sex workers is bad, and so is splitting them all apart. It’s elitist and deeply nasty to say “I’m the nice clean expensive sex worker, not like those low-class dirty whores.” All human beings should be valued the same. But different people in the industry happen to have different experiences. I wouldn’t call myself a whore for working there, or claim that I know what it’s like for all sex workers, although I suppose I was on a kind of whore continuum.

One thing I noticed that while the environment at the strip club was pretty racist, it wasn’t any more racist than the racial hierarchies at the regular restaurants I was used to working in. And this brought up a question I still wonder about today. Do the actions of Asian-American women have any impact at all on our sexual stereotypes? Does it matter if we look or act whorish or geisha-ish or virginal or nonsexual or work in the sex industry or refuse to work in it? Or will the predominantly white media continue to import and circulate our images, reading into them whatever gets them off, regardless of our reality and our choices? The thought of such powerlessness is really sad.

Many white men (and to a lesser extent, other non-Asian men) have an obvious, direct sexual interest in controlling these images. In the case of Asian-American men it’s more complicated and involves interplay between assimilation and opposition stances, between race and sex, between power and powerlessness. For example, what’s the effect on the psyche of an Asian-American man consuming Asian woman fetish pornography designated for a white male audience? For any Asian-American, male or female, gay or straight, developing a healthy sexual self-image can be a horribly difficult battle.

But the weirdest piece has got to be white women. You would think they wouldn’t have a stake in this dynamic, but the most ardent geisha-worshippers seem to be white women who identify with geisha. They want to remake themselves into treasured objects. They want to steal a sexuality that’s already stolen. The project of arcane knowledge mastery, of transformation, of “becoming”, gives them sexual excitement.

If you think I’m making this stuff up, go to a website called then click on “About Us” then “The Face Behind.”

These women need to realize what they’re doing and who they’re hurting. They’re just as complicit as the anonymous man who shouts a pornographic joke at a young, vulnerable Asian-American girl. But we’re not real to them. Our images provide so much more satisfaction than our reality.

To make a long story short, call me a cranky prude and an inauthentic Japanese all you want, I don’t give a damn about geisha. If you’re sexually obsessed with them, hey, whatever, I’m not going to tell you how to run your sex life. But don’t pretend it’s some kind of noble homage. It gets you off. And you need to distinguish fantasy from reality. If shoes happen to be your thing, do you go to Payless, tell the clerks how to position the shoes and then start masturbating in front of them?

Own up to your fetish and at least try to be responsible about it.


To The Married Dominants

Posted in abuse, bdsm, Cheat, Cheating Dominant, ethics, Honesty, Married Dominant on September 25, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

This post is not directed towards anyone person, just something I have been thinking about for a couple of days..
I stated before I was married for nine years, and if I could go back into time, it would of never happened. Why did I marry, well I really thought I was missing out on something, the house, having a child, the dog, you know the Ward and June Clever family.

I wanted to have cook outs with the smiths, long drives on Sundays up the coast in my 76 Fiat Spider, with the wife.

I had been in the lifestyle for several years when I met my soon to be vanilla wife. I had just gotten out of a real heavy S & M relationship. After that ended I began to think I was not normal. There had to be something wrong with me

The first 5 years were okay I stayed busy. I drove a tractor local 3 days a week,  I spent several hours a week in the yard. I had over 60 Lincoln roses I took care of. My Fiat and my Cougar.

Into the 8th years I started getting an itch, thoughts going through my head, I tried to shake them, but they became more frequent. I was growing tired of the boring sex, and yes I had married June Clever.

So I called her out back one day and said hey we need to talk. This is when I came clean about who I really was, and my needs. I talked her into letting a slave move in. She was just to be Domestic nothing more.

Things went really well for about three months, then my wife became jealous. The slave was doing all the cooking, laundry, cleaned the house, which my wife was never really good at.

The more I spoke about my past, the more she wanted me gone. The slave was the first to go. Then I moved out. Our Divorce went well we hired a paralegal to draw up all the papers agreed on an amount for child support, she got the house and my Fiat. I have always paid more in child support that I had agreed , most of the time I paid double, just to help out, I knew what she made, and she would of sunk without my help,and I had a son I had to think of as well.

Okay your thinking what the fuck are you getting at? Well for nine years I was married, I was not really in love although I did care about her a great deal. During this time I never fucked around on her, I stayed loyal. That is one Dominant trait I did not lose.

Although while married I still had the Dominant personality which she accepted. All she knew is unlike her last relationship, she use to fight all the time and he would beat her up. She now felt secure, she was happy. Although I was still Dominant, I felt guilty about trying to introduce things to her. She was not into the kink and I respected that

So I packed up what little stuff I had, and rented a nice apartment a block from the beach. I could breath, my soul was at ease. I could now be who and what I was without having to hide my feelings.

In the lifestyle today, there are many Dominants I respect, and you will at times hear me address older Dominants as sir, out of respect. Old school protocol.

Who I cannot respect are the Dominant who are married, and going behind the wife’s back. While she thinks everything in the house is fine. She believes she has the perfect family, the perfect kids, her world surrounds her husband, and she thinks the same.

At events or munchs, I talk to married Dominants who bring their submissives , but respect not a chance.

We as Dominants expect things from our submissive or slave. One of the first things we tell them, is to always be honest, and tell the truth at all times. This is true and all of you subs and slaves have heard this, ever from your married Dominant.

We as Dominants are looked up to in the lifestyle, I know a couple of dominants I truly admire, and have great respect for.

There are a couple of factors to look at. How can we expect to lead, if we are not in control of our own life. How can we expect someone to follow if we are not in control of our own life.

One of my followers on my blog, who is somewhat younger than I am, who I truly admire.thelionresurrected.

He was married or still is, going through a nasty divorce, but here is the thing. He needed to be who and what he is, and the only way to do so, was to be truthful with his soon to be ex wife. Being man enough to come clean. Now he can be who and what he is a True Dominant.  My hat goes off to him.

On the other foot, this type of relationship is not fair to the submissive. She will never be number one, she will always be number two. The dominant will come over two or three times a month spend a couple of hours, then head home to the wife and kids. This mostly happens to new submissives new to the lifestyle. Those who have been around, almost never mess with a married Dom.

There are not many things that really get to me, cheating is one of them, because I just do not understand. If your not happy get the fuck out.

Up until a couple of months ago I was seeing a married woman, which I did not know she was married, if I had the relationship would of never started. I respect myself more than that.

Her husband shows up at my door one night crying, wanting to know how I could rip his family apart, her children. I said some pretty bad things to him, which now I feel pretty bad., but I was being truthful with him. More so don’t be mad at me fuck I didn’t know. After thinking for a while, I began to feel guilty. So I broke it off, right there. I was not going to lower myself, I have standards. I have respect for myself,
most of all I have strong ethics.

Then to the submissive, do you really want to be responsible for breaking up a family, more so where children are involved. Do you not ever want to be number one.

What makes a good Dominant to begin with , Honesty, this is a must to build trust within the D’s relationship. Integrity, Maturity, always in control, and not controlling. One who does not punish just for the sake of punishing. One who does not just bark orders. Responsible this is a must, Trustworthy, can you as a submissive really trust your dominant knowing he is married. Believe me, if he is seeing you, and your time is very limited, he is seeing others. I am speaking as a male and a dominant.

Do not let a dominant tell you, that you do not need interaction with others, or you do not need to go to a munch, he is the only teacher you need. You as the submissive need to interact with other, get their prospective on things, what their life is like. Getting others point of view . Very important.

Sub-Drop can be prevented, with proper care, and communication. Aftercare should be an everyday thing. If your submissive is experiencing sub-drop it is your fault and your fault alone. Shame on you.

Just my Thoughts.