Are You Really Submissive ? Are You Really Ready ?

Being a submissive or slave is not an easy task. Just as being a Dominant, one thinks a Dominant is someone who just barks orders and gets his cock sucked on demand. That is not the case. Being a Dominant or submissive runs much deeper. The truth is, it really takes two very special people, who are dedicated to the lifestyle.

Both in the relationship have needs, these needs are to be met on a daily basis.First comes communication, both expressing ones needs. Then comes the agreement, this allows things to move forward. Then you begin laying the foundation, the training, the structure, remolding, rules or guidelines which ever you prefer.

I recently had a slave come to me, this is the truth. She wanted like a mini boot camp, and I agreed. She agreed to stay with me, then she got sick once settled in, she had a cough before arriving. Well the second, and third day she was running a fever, so I let her rest. Well I did not meet her expectations. I was not going to do anything while she did not feel well. So the process came to an abrupt end.

It is the submissive or slave who picks her Dominant, not the other way around. So she is calling the shots until both have come to an agreement.

A couple of months ago I posted on a topic about slave positions I received a lot of bad feed back, because most thought they were not necessary, not needed. To each their own, but yes they are needed, maybe not all but there are a few I use on a daily basis.

There are exceptions , one as we grow older, we are not able to bend or sit as we did when younger. Hip replacements, bad knees. If that is the case things can be changed up.

Discipline plays a huge role with in the D’s relationship. I am not speaking about punishment, spanking or corner time. I am speaking about Self-Discipline, the want and the need to become a collard submissive or slave. The first month will tell everything.If your Dominant is true, and consistent. Consistency with your new Dominant is very important. You expect him to be just what he told you

Lets take sex out of the equation forget about it for now. Because if you fuck or suck cock on the first meet, that is what your relationship is based on. SEX. Nothing more. A Dominant would never expect sex on the first meet, nor the second or third. You have to take the steps to get to know each other. You have to become friends. You the submissive should have a million question. If some of the answers are not clear, ask to clarify , make sure you understand the answer. Do not be afraid to ask. Most will just shrug it off and move onto the next question.

I am me, I am not going to change or bend for anyone. I am not going to change or bend my guidelines, my protocol, or my expectations. I make this perfectly clear from the start. I have a list I present to one, I hand it over with a pen, as one reads each topic is checked, this is the time to ask questions. If something on the list bothers you, or you feel like you cannot comply with something. The conversation is over. You have made a new friend. If I change or bend, I am no longer me. If you change or bend you are no longer you.

I will ask in depth question some very personal. Medication, health problems. Have you ever been on the most wanted list? What are you looking for? What do you expect to get out of the relationship? How far do you want to take your submission? What is your temperament like? Your work history? You get the picture. So in a matter of an hour, I know more about you than most of your friends, and in most cases your family.

Self Discipline, many do not have the ability or the want. This is the ice breaker. I as a Dominant am going to put you through many changes, from the way you dress, walk, eat, speak, and in some cases your hair, your makeup if you wear. Most of the time I prefer my slave to be fully covered, this included arms , to the neck line, and legs. Her body is for my eyes only. Now if we are going to an event, such as a munch, or a Dungeon, I may pick something to fit the event.

I speak about protocol often, many disagree with me on this subject, but I come from old school, and again I am not going to change. Protocol falls under Self- Discipline, you have to have the want and need to follow. The slave positions to me are very important, this keeps you in the submissive frame of mind. There is noway someone could use every position on a daily basis. You would spend your whole day directing orders. Again you have to be willing to give up control, and let someone fully mold you to fit ones needs.

Everything a Dominant shares with you or teaches you. In time you will use something he has taught you in your normal everyday life.

The relationship is about positive reinforcement having the ability to praise no matter how small the task was. Telling one how much they are appreciated goes a very long way.

You also have to have the ability to be best friends, you cannot live master and slave 24/7. Although I have been told by a slave she did not want anything to do with a vanilla life. This could be achieved but it would take time, it will not happen over night.

Married couples most of the above does not apply. Most are only Dom and sub in the bedroom. Once they open the door all is forgotten. In many ways this spices things up for them, like a release, just being able to let go. I believe there are a few couples on here who live such a life, if it works, and you both found your middle ground, that is awesome.

While in what we call training, the submissive is totally focused on one thing her new Dominant. She looks up to him, admires him. The sub or slaves thinks he can do no wrong.He is in full control, of not only himself , but his property. The only thing that can change this, is if she sees behavior she does not agree with, losing his temper, acting childish is a huge killer, not being consistent. Maybe taking advantage of his authority in front of others.

Many find once in a relationship, that BDSM is really not their bag of tea, it was more of a fantasy. The truth is there are really very few true Dominants and submissive’s or slaves. Then it just falls into kink, which is fine if that is the type of relationship you want, but chances are one or the other is going to be displeased.

After you have been giving or told what the new Dominant expects, take sometime to think. Your not going to give your answer right then. Take a week or two. Think about every step the Dom has explained.

If you find somethings you have problems with or maybe something you do not wish to do, meet, talk , and see if he may be willing to adjust a little, maybe there is another way. You have to speak up, communication.

Are You Really Submissive ? Are You Really Ready ?



One Response to “Are You Really Submissive ? Are You Really Ready ?”

  1. Reblogged this on Musings Of Me and commented:
    Yet another great topic. I’m ready.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: