I will admit I really feel different. I feel like I am alive, like I have gone through a rejuvenation process. I am not as grouchy towards other people, I have even become somewhat sociable, not to the point of actually liking people, I am not just as cold when it comes to speaking. I have very few people who I really call my friend. I do have one I email often I do call a dear friend. What friends I do have we are like a close family.
Rob called me yesterday, and said he was parked out front, he was taking me to lunch. I never turn food down, more so when someone else is buying. During our lunch it seemed we both were able to open up a bit more than usual. Rob began telling me about some changes he was going through with his slave. His slave met Tish two weeks ago for the first time. She is very well mannered, speaks softly, and really digs Tish. I am not big on sharing, Tish is really not Bi, but would do if she was told.
I probably would not force her in that direction, while fun at that moment for me, it could cause harm to Tish, in a mental way, so I am thinking the outcome would not be good.
Rob said he has seen some changes in me, he did not go into detail, and I did not ask, he just said more perky. Yea I am not much on perky.
He shared a lot about his slaves past, I was really shocked because I could just not see the things he was telling me about her. He has been good for her, and in two years she has really come a long way. My hat goes off to him.
He then asked me about Tish. How I felt about her, was I in love.? To be honest I cannot even remember the last time I used that L word. I told Rob I had not even really thought about it, although Tish and I had spoken about her feelings.
I think when it comes to love, I tend to show it more with actions, than what I could ever explain while speaking. I am very caring, and loving , and I do believe it shows. I am not the romantic rose type guy, nor do I do the candle light dinners.
I asked Rob does it really matter how I feel or what I am thinking? I would think not. I just want to go with the flow. When you use the love word, that is like you have just opened a new door. The door could be wanted or not wanted, but once you use that word you are committed, to what ever the next step would be.
Rob then asked me if I had ever been in love? I do believe once, although when I look back today I am really not sure any longer, maybe I just cared a lot. The biggest issue I have is trust, I really trust no one, except for myself. Even close friends will screw you if giving the chance. I mean even if your in a relationship in the back of your mind there is always doubt. We as people have changed so much in the last twenty years, we have drifted apart, we are no longer social. Everyone is out for what they can get out of someone. To much greed. People today are money driven, nothing else matters.
So Rob and I left Denny’s and he had to exchange some things at Kohl’s, I must of missed that part of the conversation, I just heard lunch. Again the question came up, why I have trouble being in love. What am I really with Dr. Phil today has he taken over Robs body, wow. Again my actions. To me actions speak louder than words. After all you can tell if someone truly likes you, if they are really into you, or even care. It all boils down to actions.
Right now Tish’s actions are speaking louder than words. is she in love? I really doubt it? Will she be? Who knows, I am not going to press the issue. I will say it is almost impossible for a submissive or slave to fully submit or trust, unless the love is there. That is just my opinion.
Tish did meet my ex wife Friday as well as my son. To my surprise my ex liked Tish. Why did it surprise me? Because she has never liked anyone I have dated in the past. My son who is 14 liked her. Tish was able to see , that there was no drama between the ex and I. We get along very well. She just talks to fucking much, it is really hard to get a word in. She also made it clear to Tish I was a man of my word. I am drama free and I like to keep it as such.
I do consider Rob to be a very good friend, even though we do not see eye to eye on many things. I still keep my distance, when it comes to being able to open up. Something I do not mind sharing, but something are meant to stay home. My personal business stays at home, I have also made this very clear to Tish. Sharing things that are personal , is a big no with me.
Right now things are good. I feel like I am on a level playing field. I am very content, I am at peace. Life is good.