Lets Talk about Love

I try to get to every ones blog in the duration of a week, sometimes I can sometimes work does not allow me the time. I do read blogs maybe not the entirety, but those story’s that catches my eye.

I was reading http://submusings.wordpress.com/. The topic was how do you know when your in love.

That made me think. It took me 37 years before I had that feeling. It took me 37 years to finely come to terms that love was real. I had never been into drugs, I smoked pot when I was a kid, but for the first time in my life I was high.

When I first met Bea, we met at a historic park. I just there waiting and when she pulled up and got out of the car. This huge lump appeared in my throat, I was unable to speak, I had a numbing sensation, then eye to eye.

We spoke for about three months prior to meeting, no phone sex, I am not into that, never have been.After three months I knew her, inside out. Then the day came the first meeting.

I was speechless, I could not think straight, her eyes were intense, her long straight black hair, the feeling was incredible.37 years where was I at? where had I been all this time?

I went more into detail on ,http://submusings.wordpress.com/ blog.

I want that again, I want to be in love. I want that rush, that high, that feeling. I want the one I can cherish, hold, smell, touch. When I hold I want to feel. I need that.

Doms have feelings as well, we tend not to show or express our feelings. I see that as a form of weakness. I am not going to cry, I am not going to lay my head on your shoulder, and tell you I need to talk. That is not me. It takes a long time before I can truly open up , but only to a certain extent.

I want to feel complete, I am so so tired of dating, the 100 questions, to find out she is a basket case, or maybe I am the basket case.

Maybe I have set my standards so high the feeling I am searching for is no longer real.

Right now the feeling I have is a good one, this past two weeks or so has been mind refreshing. I met Tish, then I was somewhat nervous. To me being able to communicate from the start is a must. Knowing one is truly paying attention. That shows their interest.

I am sure we are not on the same level as of yet, but there are feelings, between both. I am cautious , very, my guard is always up. It takes a long time for me to trust. At times I may seem distant, off somewhere. My mind is constantly thinking.

I want the one, I want to feel again. I have been numb for a very long time. I have been walking in the dark. I want to see again.

It does take someone special to be with me, I have been looking for a long time, I have spent enough on dating, to some it would be a good retirement fund.

Yea I am done here, well the topic anyway, her blog just hit a bump with me, and it made me think. two halves make a whole. I want the whole.



17 Responses to “Lets Talk about Love”

  1. Ah Vile..It warms my heart to hear you say you want love again in your life. I recall not long since you telling me it wasn’t for you. I must admit I wasn’t convinced! I wish you love and happiness as always in your Dominance 🙂

  2. Vile,

    I so wish you well in your search of happiness and maybe find love again. There is not many and even less Dominants willing to admit that is what they would like.

    Hugs & kisses for your being brave enough to admit it.

  3. A beautiful post, as was your comment on my blog, I felt privileged to read your story & your feelings for Bea, thank you for sharing. I’m another romantic submissive, so I wish you well in finding the special one you can open up to, finding the other half of your whole.

  4. If you are fortunate enough to find love again, I would ask that you do everything possible to hold onto it…no matter what…

  5. Butterfly Joy Says:

    I am so glad for you Vile. I see in you wisdom, strength, and a caring, brave heart. And you are fighting for an amazing life journey.
    This is so encouraging, to someone who is also wondering about seeking love. Thank you Vile.

  6. wow, it was so sweet to read this. I somehow missed back then.

  7. What a great day in your life Vile… From our convos I know it was a game changer for you. And yes, we are both very blessed men… Hug that girl for us Vile?

    -Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)

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