Why ?

Why rules are needed. I have posted about this before, but maybe not in great detail.

Last night Tish ,and I were talking. I like that we have good communication, and at times before I get a word out she is completing the sentence, and the other way around. This is the connection I have been speaking about for so long.

When Tish and I first met, one of the first questions was. What rules are you going to give me. Well I do not know. What does Tish need. I did not get an answer right away, but this morning, I was able to email her what I thought would keep her busy, and structured.

One of the first things I want to learn, is the relationship between the slave and the Ex Dom. I need to know this for a few reasons.  One what she has learned. What rules were giving? Protocol, you cannot talk to me about protocol, I am very anal about it.

When she mentioned the 128 Basic Slave Rules, I almost lost it. I knew then I had to start from scratch. The lack of communication, the lack of caring, and being one sided .

So last night we were talking, and I was going over a few rules, what I expected, and what I wanted. Once finished, I asked do you have any questions. Her answer was no, you explained everything in detail. Now will she remember everything , nah not a chance

When we Dominant’s give one rules, we have to explain why we are giving that particular rule, and why it is needed. I am pass the age of you must worship my cock, back to the 128.

We implement rules to help put structure back into their everyday routine, to help guide. This is what they ask for, we as Dominates provide.

A slave already knows you like your cock sucked. You must worship my cock. That is not a rule, that is a blind statement. More so a man who lives by his Dick.

If you give a rule without an explanation all the slave knows is she has to follow, she has no clue as to why.

Then the hard part. Once we implement we as Doms have to stay consistent. We need to insure what we have giving we enforce.  When a rule is broken, and we punish, we need to explain, the rule that was broken and what the punishment will be.

Just as I told Tish Choice and Consequences.

The rules I gave her, were not all about me, as a matter of fact very few were about me. If I see I have added any stress I will adjust, as needed. The rules are about Tish and what I think she needs, what she wants.

We cannot base our relationship all around us. We cannot implement rules that make us happy. If you tell your submissive or slave what you need, what makes you happy, they will take care of your needs without question.

A slave not so much a submissive, but a slave, wants her master to control almost everything in her daily life. This is not an easy task. I am not speaking of micromanagement. Micromanagement is very unhealthy. I have done that before, and it did not take me long to catch on, and change somethings. Perhaps on a short term basis it might serve a purpose, but not long term.



9 Responses to “Why ?”

  1. Interesting those “128” seem to resurface again and again. They may have been absolute for the original parties, but in my opinion, much like yours here, we need to be cognizant of the present needs and desire and create from within based on mutual respect and trust. The “human” and personal connectedness will always win when both parties are genuinely supportive in their defined roles.

    • I do agree with you Joseph very much so. When I was younger, and in my learning stages, I was guilty of the 128 thing.
      Today I sit back and re-read, and I looked pretty dumb.
      It took sometime to understand that rules are meant to help one.
      This was a 55 year old Dominant, who uses these rules still today.
      Much Love Man

  2. This is an interesting revised version of the rules! http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=23389

    • Still somewhat off, better than the first set. What I did not see, was something that benefited the slave.

      Maybe I am wrong gemini, maybe times have changed..
      I am amazed at how you had me pegged. You are the only one.

      • Well these type of rules aren’t for me to be honest, but I am not a slave. I am with Joseph on this of course. ..support and communication and appreciation of the needs of both is paramount to me.

        Perhaps I am the only one who has told you, rather than the only one who had you pegged. I think intuition is a strong point with me though and I am very in tune at this moment in time.

      • Possible no one has told me besides you. I do come off as a hard ass. I am me, you have to except me for who I am .
        Tish will tell you when she comes to my home. She does not clean, she does not cook, nor laundry.
        We are all different, it would be boring if we were all alike.
        I hope this does last we are on a good start. My rules where what Tish needed nothing more nothing less. I get somewhat possessive at times. I do not share nor does anyone touch. I am not one to sit and watch until one breaks a rule.
        Tish did not need rules, I gave her rules because she felt she needed them.
        What she see’s is someone who is not using her, or pushing her past her limits, someone who really wants to sit down and talk, laugh, go out. She now sees the difference, between me and the other two Doms she has been with.
        Maybe I gave the wrong impression of who I am, but everything I have stated is the truth.
        If you are mine you are the center of my world, I see nothing else. You come first no matter what

  3. thegirlpashn Says:

    128 rules? What the heck? When I was a newbie sub, 20ish years ago (I started young), I had quite a few rules to help me get my mind in the right place. Now, with my Sir, I have a rule tasks and rules, but for the most part, I’m pretty well trained now on how to act!

  4. I don’t think you give the wrong impression as such and who and what you are NOW is coming through more. That is what is important, we all have a past and have done things we regret, but that makes us what we are now. I see you gave grown a softer heart for women and that is good. You can still have your Dominance with a soft heart and will be loved and respected more for it. I believe you will have a better slave match for it too. Perhaps Tish is the one and recognizes this in you…I really hope so ..

    • Thank you. I am not sure if I am softer. twenty years I have not changed very much. I was the same way with Bea the love of my life. A Sadist stepping into a Daddy Dom role. A huge change, but I did it.
      Tish and I click really well. She is going to email you today by the way.
      Thank you for your words.

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