Tish and I

Going on a month, it is really hard to believe I have found someone I can connect with on all levels. The communication has never been better, and pretty much the same kinks.

As far as the BDSM goes Tish has always been a pleaser, and was willing to except most anything to gain acceptance from another,even if it meant pain. I have almost gotten her to the point , to know it is okay to say it hurts.

Tish is more into the B&D part of the lifestyle more so than the S&M although she has experienced both. She has been looking for someone , that she could trust enough to give up total control, someone with a lot of patience.

Tish can be very emotional at times , but I have found with communication, and understanding her more and more, it can be worked out.

Out of the blue yesterday I received a couple of emails from her Ex Dom, who I call Goober, while he was not as rude as he has been in the past, he continued to put all the blame on Tish for their relationship not working. While I did not discard everything he said, I did pay more attention to Tish and her behavior, and so far I have seen nothing true about the way he describes her. Maybe it is because I do have more patience , and I may be a bit more understanding.

He had told Tish he had been in the lifestyle for some twenty years, and she took his word. The emails he has sent me, and our conversations I would say less than two years. He still has not fully grasped the concept of what a D’s relationship is about. One of the things that did catch my eye was the quote. You must take my pain in order for you to show appreciation .

I believe in my younger years I may have something to the same effect. I do know when I was younger I was ego driven, and very self centered , and it was all about me.

We all come with some form of baggage, some is worse than others. So we have to determine the amount, and then the amount we are willing to except. Once we have made a commitment, then we as Dominants must continue to be consistent, keeping our word, and following through with punishment if needed, but at the same time giving positive reinforcement . One has to be able to point out more good than bad. If we spent our day just watching and hoping one would break a rule, how would that effect the sub/slave…

Even if a rule is broken, it must be explained, why the sub/slave is going to be punished. Immediately after the punishment, aftercare should kick in, and begin the conversation with something positive. One negative should equal one positive.

Last night I asked Tish if she had looked over the rules I had sent her, her answer was no, she had not had time. So I had her stand in the corner and read them to me. I do not expect her to learn them word for word, that is just insane, fuck I cannot even remember them, why would I expect her to. What I sent was tailored towards Tish, and no one else . It took me roughly two weeks to put together a set of rules to fit her needs. I did as she asked.

I cannot see nor do I understand how any Dominant could meet a submissive, and hand out a ton of rules the first day of meeting. In most cases the rules are sexual. and really has nothing to do with the submissive.

More to come.


5 Responses to “Tish and I”

  1. I am so glad to read things are working out for you and Tish and that you are happy. 🙂

    As for rules I can’t comment much on them since I hardly have any rules but like you I do agree they should be tailored to the specific sub because although we are submissiveness we are all different. 🙂

  2. I like that nickname…Goober…He called my ex “douchebag”…goober probably would have worked, too…lol

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