Archive for January, 2013

Dominants Live Separate Lives

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anger, bdsm, Bond, Busy, Cherish, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fantasy, Friends, Love, Master, Micromanagement, Open Minded, owning a slave, relationships, Respect, sharing, slave, Spanking, submissive, Text on January 28, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is true Dominants for the most live separate lives. When in general conversation with lets say someone who is vanilla, and I try to explain my lifestyle, most are like do you know anyone, do you know a slave or single submissive?

Yea they think it is fun and games, until I explain everything, and owning a Slave, and they are like fuck that shit, way to much work for me.

Even like the dumb ass who is staying with me, I have been trying to teach him for months, how to control his temper. I have even said  would you not want a relationship that is stress free, no arguing, no fighting. He said no>

Now many of you are probably thinking , no arguing, really? When I say no arguing that is what I mean. We Dominants should be in full control at all times. There are times when my fuse runs short, at times I do get angry, but I rarely show it. I never show in front of my property. Here is why, if we show we are not in full control, then how can our sub or slave expect us to be in control of them?

We Dominants or for the most do live separate lives. We live our everyday life for those who do not want anyone to know about their lifestyle, but anyone who knows me knows about me. Then we have to be in control of our property, on a daily basis. Then we have to stay consistent daily with rules and guidelines. We have to maintain an open line of communication, we have to be available, at a text or call. We have to not only solve our problems, but at times we have to handle our property’s problems, and in a timely manner.

I do not find this to be true if you are not 24/7. I know a Master and Slave who live together but they are not 24/7, I am not sure how that works, but it works for them.

Tish / Arianna and I are 24/7 and I am here to tell you it is not an easy task, not that I am complaining, because for one, I enjoy who I am I truly love me. The lifestyle is me and has been for as long as I can remember. The lifestyle is something I need. It is not a want, if it was a want, well I would not be here right now.

Sometimes at the end of the night, after I put Tish / Arianna to bed, that is my time to relax. I am up at 3.30am with her and she goes to bed around 7.00pm. We are in contact through out the day. When she is off sometimes she is up a little later. So at times at the end of the day, I am not physically tired but mentally. I guess what ever brain I have left is pretty tired.

I am not complaining do not get me wrong, I do care a great deal for Tish / Arianna, and I would change nothing in my life right now. I am on a level playing field right now. Life is good, and it will continue to get better I know without a doubt.

I believe it is a lot different with a submissive as a matter of fact I know it is. A submissive submits when she wants to, most of the time it is not 24/7.A slave you have to keep a tight leash on so to speak. Tish / Arianna are more Micromanagement, which is really not as difficult as one would think as long as I stay on top of everything. If you fall behind it is like trying to catch your house payment up, it is almost impossible.

Many of my friends in the lifestyle do not agree with my point of view when it comes to D’s or M’s. Many find me to be um kinda of unorthodox when it comes to the lifestyle, but it works for me. I am not going to change who I am. Many do not understand why I do not share, or why I do not want another slave. I suppose in many ways I am possessive when it comes to my property. I am not one to lay back and watch some dude fuck my slave or watch her blow someone, although she would if I told her to, but she would only to please me.

There is a breaking point, and somethings can cause more damage to a sub or slave than it can good. Many will step outside of there bubbles just to please, but later it can bring on great emotional stress or even a breakdown. Us as Dominants are not here for that, we are here for support and to build up, a shoulder to cry on when needed, hold, love and cherish.

I did something the other day I was totally against. I had to punish Tish / Arianna. One thing I said I never would do is spank as a form of punishment, but that is what I felt I had to do for the situation. To make it worse she had to complete a task while she was being spanked, and I did not stop until her task was completed. I cannot remember when I really felt as bad as I did at that moment and time, but I believe I got the point across and it will not happen again.

We as Dominants do live separate lives, I just hope that you submissive’s and Slaves know just how much we have to put into a relationship.

Much Love to all of those who visit, and to those who follow, I really appreciate all of you.

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Vile

If A Bitch Will Lay On Her Back

Posted in abuse, bdsm, Fucking Missionary, Love, slave, submissive, Vanilla on January 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I use the word Bitch loosely. To me it is a pet name nothing more. One thing I will not do is use pet names out of anger. I was sitting around the other day talking to Arianna and I was trying to remember the last time I truly lost my temper. A month ago I did come close someone was really getting on my nerves, but actually mad I cannot recall.

There has been a couple staying with me for about 4 months, they are getting ready to move. A Dom in Daytona Beach called and asked if I could help them out. What a fucking mess it has been. He is stupid I do not like him at all. She is very sick a lot of medical issues going on.

She has had me try and talk to him, he has a real bad temper, and I have had to step in a time or two and put him in his place. I have never met a man who is so self centered, non-caring, and selfish. You get the picture, last week she had to beg him to spend five dollars on a Bra. New shoes are flip flops.

Anyway I tried to have a talk with him several times. and I put it like this. If a Bitch is going to lay on her back, spread her legs, and take what ever you have to dish out. You need to man up and take care of your woman. You need to put her first no questions asked. You need to make her your number one priority. If she ask for something buy it. I am not talking a car or something outrageous, but to deny the basic needs, is just wrong.

You should never at anytime lay a hand on a female , okay out of anger, to call one a stupid cunt, a sorry ass bitch, then expect her to lay and spread that night. Man please.

I know a lot of people that follow my blog think I am out there somewhat, maybe to strict. I am strict, and again very big on protocol, but the word abuse is not in my vocabulary, nor has it ever been.

The submissive or slave is the back bone of a D’s or M’s relationship. What is a Master without either? I truly believe the submissive or the slave gives the Master the drive, if that makes any sense.

I am not just speaking about BDSM I am speaking about Vanilla relationships as well. I see abuse more in Vanilla relationships more than a D’s or M’s. Maybe I just have not noticed it in the D’s community as much.

The bottom line is. If A Bitch Will Lay on her back and give her all, then take care of her.

 

Vile

Slave Clothes

Posted in bdsm, Gorean Portocol, slave, slave dress on January 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Tish / Arianna has been having thoughts about how she does not feel completely owned. This is not to say we are not doing well because we are.  I would also say you cannot feel owned 24/7, although you are in that frame of mind.

So I bought a few dresses , dresses that normally a 65 year old woman would pick out. Yes they are really ugly, like long thick night gowns. I have Tish / Arianna wear often.

The purpose is to give the slave feeling. I pick out her clothing everyday once she gets home, or when we go out.

Although I am not Gorean I do follow and implement much of the protocol. The protocol has not been a task on my part because Tish / Arianna is probably the most compliant slave I have ever met, there has been no resistance at all.

So Yesterday I was doing some reading, trying to figure out what I could implement to give more of a slave feeling. I have been told to call her a whore, a cunt , a stupid bitch. To keep reminding her she is not equal, blah blah. Do not get me wrong, I do believe humiliation may be needed at times, just not in those forms.

So I googled John Norman, and started to read, and it hit me. The art of speaking in thirds, this is a practice used by those who live the Gorean Lifestyle. Speaking in thirds is a constant reminder of who and what she is.

The speaking in thirds is not something I will use as permanent training method but temporary, and until she has become comfortable speaking in thirds without having to think about what she is saying.

To those who have never heard of speaking in thirds. It would go. May this slave sit, May this slave get master anything, may this slave go to the bathroom, so on .

The speaking in thirds is a reminder to her just about every time she speaks of who and what she is. Makes her feel humble. I am glad to say so far it is working. At some point and time I will stop it, when I feel she has reached that point.

Tish / Arianna has been going through many changes, changes that are personal,and challenging , and those not so personal. I have introduced her to a lot of people in the lifestyle in the area, next month we are Orlando bound.

Tish / Arianna has really come along way, and together we have worked through many things that have come out. The key is we have worked together, and through communication. She is not only very beautiful, but she is very smart, a smart woman is a huge turn on.

Tish / Arianna has informed me she would like to start another blog besides the one she has, she would like to take on more of a role in my blog.

I am not going to post any nudes of her, nor am I going to get really personal, out of respect. I have posted some pictures on my facebook, non nude.

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Vile

Owning A Slave

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Change, Cherish, codependent, Consensual, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook, Friendship, Master, needy, No Rights, owning a slave, Patience, pleasure, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, submissive on January 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Owning a Slave in my eyes requires a lot more responsibility than owning a submissive. While a submissive does have limits, and most do not follow rules, and at times a submissive is far more resistant in training than a slave.

While a slave does not have any rights, the slave does have the trust knowing her Master / Owner will not push her further than she can go, be it mentally or physically . The slave has enough trust to know that she is being looked after, and cared for.

Now before I enter a relationship, I make it a point to ask. How do you see your everyday life as a slave? What are your everyday needs as a Slave? How do you want to be treated? This is what I implement , her words are my guide. The slave only knows what it will take to put her in the type of mode she wishes to be in.

This is not an easy task, one has to prove he can be consistent, not just from time to time, but on a daily basis, an hourly basis, while keeping an open line of communication.

Does this make a woman weak? Does the lifestyle make her any less of a woman? I would say not in anyway, it makes her strong, and in her own way independent. The truth is most women dream of being in the place Tish / Arianna is. Being able to let go, not only emotionally , but mentally, and sexually.To have a fully structured life that is tailored to fit just one person, and not a one size fits all.

Abuse plays a role when one is forced into a situation, when violence comes into play, Violence comes in many forms, be it verbal, mental, or even physical. Being forced to serve, or not respecting ones limits, crossing that line, pushing one to the point of breaking..

So living a structured life, everything is planned out for you. No drama, no arguing, no putting down. Being controlled in a respectful manner, putting one in that Garden of Eden if you will. Someplace peaceful, more so with someone you can fully trust knowing they will be there no matter what, be it in a stern and strict manner, or showing compassion and love.

So my whole point is, owning a slave is a great deal of responsibility, you cannot live a double life, the Dominants life has to be centered and focused on his slave 24/7, there to meet her needs no matter what they are.

So Tish and I were talking, and the topic of getting her hair cut came up. She wanted to know if there was a certain way I would like her hair to be. She stated she would be willing to do so. So as you can imagine my mind began to run at full speed. To have someone give up such control, and me being who I am. I was willing to take such control. We began looking at pictures and I picked out a hair style I liked.

On my FaceBook I post pictures of us to give updates, and I have a friend who follows my blog I email pics to as well. I did post a new pic of Tihs’s / Arianna’s hair style, so those who are members of my group has seen her. I will post a pic of the style I choose.

To own a slave is a great gift. I cannot think of a greater gift in life. I cannot imagine anything greater, nor can I imagine someone giving up so much to be happy , and the place they need to be.

Much Love to Everyone.

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Tish’s new hair style. It will grow back or maybe I will keep it like this for a while.. At that time that was my need.

Vile

My Love For Anal Sex

Posted in Anal Plug, anal sex, anticipation, Ass, ass fucking, ass play, assault, bdsm, Lube on January 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Again to me anal sex is probably one of the most submissive acts a female can perform, the most private part of her body.

While it is a fact most women are not into anal sex, I hate to say but it is a requirement for me, not that it is a daily need, but the knowing, it is there for my taking when I want or I feel I have the need.

Ahhh now the lube part. At times I will use lube, but there are times when the sadistic feeling comes over me, and I just want to ass fuck, doggy style, grabbing a hand full of hair and pounding my way to china. If I give it thought while fucking, and the ass comes to mind, I keep a bottle of lube by the bed, and I will take a few seconds out and lube up.

I have talked about my ass fetish in the past, and it seems to grow daily. Tish / Arianna has an ass to kill for, yes while in bed my hand is there while sleeping.

My favorite position for anal sex is with the slave on her back pulled to the edge of the bed, legs pushed back, and just slid right in. This is also the most uncomfortable position for the female, but the other night I was not giving it much thought. The heat of the moment type thing.

Anal sex can be pleasurable for the female if done correctly , and one is willing to take the time for a little anal foreplay, and with the use of lube, anal sex can be very erotic. Just like foreplay playing with the pussy, it takes time to get excited and wet, well the ass is the same. While eating pussy I love to finger slowly slipping a finger in as deep as I can, then fingering the ass while going down.

I plan on getting into some enema play here very soon, which makes anal play not only more fun, but much cleaner as well. Safety always should be a factor when doing any type of what I call taboo play.

While I do agree that at times some anal training is needed, for those who have not had anal sex a lot or never have, but the dominant should always be present. If a sub/slave is just giving orders to perform anal training while a lone, once done it can leave an empty feeling. With the right amount of foreplay and lube no matter the size of the male if he takes his time it can feel good.

I just love a nice ass, and I have even walked up to complete strangers, meaning women and gave compliments on their ass. So far no one has been offended or maybe just to speechless to say anything.

I am going to order a couple of new butt plugs this week, Tish / Arianna wants to try and wear one at work, and slowly build up to an all day thing. So I will start off kinda of small, and I will use lube and will insert for her. I find this to be very arousing.

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I do love a nice ass

Vile

I Was Looking For Advice, But What I got Was ?

Posted in abuse, Advice, bdsm, Consensual, control, controlling, Dominants, fetlife, Master, problems, slave, submissive on January 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

First I would like to say Tish and I are on the right track. Things are really going well. and getting better each day.

Every night I set aside time to just talk, this is done just before bedtime , we sit on the bed facing each other and just talk, about what ever. The is free time to say what ever is on the mind.

This type of communication is best done if your a 24/7 couple. Long distance couples spend a great deal of time on the phone, but you do not get the same effect. Meaning the facial expressions, looking into the eyes. At any rate communication is still very important.

So while talking Tish brought up the fact that she does not feel owned all the time. Did I read into this way to much? I do believe I did, I should of giving it more thought, instead of jumping to any conclusions, that it may be possible I am doing something wrong.

During the day and sometimes at night we are really a pretty normal couple, we talk, laugh and joke around. So the question is are you going to feel owned 24/7?  I would have to say after much thought no. Even in a Master and Slave relationship, you have to be somewhat normal. There has to be some give and take.

So I sought out advice, not from my normal ring of friends, but from someone who knows nothing of us, someone with an open mind. I have very few friends close enough to me, who I feel like I can open up to. Most of the time you might as well be calling CNN. Because once you share anything the word is all over the community.

So I posted my question in a few groups on fetlife, and the response was truly unbelievable. It turns out that everything was my fault. I should not be as nice to Tish as I am, I should not make her coffee in the am, or make her lunch. I should stop the night time talks. I was told the talks really gives Tish control.

Now it is not very often I turn to anyone for advice, but from time to time, I do have the need, or at times I simply do not have an answer.

Now if your a D’s couple. Master and Slave can you or should you feel owned 24/7. After much thought I really believe it is pretty normal not to feel owned at times. Although you are in that frame of mind.

You have to spend as much time being friends as you do Master and Slave. So Tish/Arianna does not have any control. Although I do value her input on somethings.

So I posted in a Fetlife group and I posed the question, of why Tish / Arianna does not feel owned all the time, and some of the answers just blew me away one really caught my attention.

Now as Dominants or Masters, we are responsible for the well being of our submissive’s or Slaves. We are to build up, We are to support, we are to give positive reinforcement , we are there for communication.

Here is one reply that just blew me away.

written 6 days ago:

when you say you were talking about the changes, were you seeking her input or telling her how it would be?

when dealing with tish, I would expect you to say, I will tell her to get her chain from bedroom and bring it to kitchen where she will sit and watch me eat. after I have finished, she will be given her portions. she is suppose to be a slave, she executes your wishes anticipates your needs and fills them. unless she is not truly a slave but instead is submissive.

you are still thinking of her as a person, not property. how is tish suppose to feel owned when she still appears to run the show. tish should be calling herself, this slave, this cunt, this worthless property, this cum bucket, or something humiliating so she feels beneath you and can readily accept being property and being owned.

around here, no privacy does not mean showering in view, no privacy means the bathroom door is always open and you occasionally go in and watch her. embarrassment is punished since an owner/master can always view his property. and his property has no secrets.

I am sorry I just cannot be that type of Dominant.

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Vile

So Your Looking For A Dominant

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Collars, Dominants, fifty shades of grey, married, Master, Masters, Rules on January 16, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile
50 Shades Of Grey. Have you ever had a weed pop up in your front yard, you pull it and days later it is back? Since 50 Shades, this is how New Dominants are popping up, from all over the world.
I have posted about this before, but I hate re-posting old stuff. So here we go.
BDSM is not a sexual based relationship, if this is how your relationships starts out, it will fail no questions asked. Six months a year even less. If sex is how the first conversation starts that is the only interest the new Dominant has, or what are your limits. The topic of limits should be a conversation once you have somewhat agreed to start a new relationship.
A submissive or slave who is looking for a new Dominant wants to find him yesterday. The search begins to control their life, and nothing else matters. Most of the time one will not even take anyone’s advice. Only to find out in the end it was a drastic mistake.
One thing that is very important, do not let the new Dominant try to hand out rules on your first meeting, nor let him try and collar you. He has to get to know you before handing out any rules. More so a collar. Would you marry someone on the first date?
So how long have you been in the lifestyle? Hmm maybe twenty years. Are you active in the local community? Well no I am not I really see no reason to be, I kinda like to stay to myself. Well I am sure you know others in the lifestyle? I have met some in my years but we have not stayed in contact. Well I am sure you have references of other submissive’s ? Well I have had several relationships but we parted on bad terms. So no I do not have anyone you can talk to.

So you the submissive or slave, you are just going to take the new Dominants word, that he is indeed who he says he is. The lifestyle is real, and you can get hurt, you can get hurt bad. Such as spanking is just not spanking. There are safe areas for impact, and areas you can get hurt, even to the point of breaking something, doing damage to your kidneys. So are you just going to take his word? You do not even really know this Dominant, and your just going to believe every word that comes out of his mouth.

Over the past couple of months I have introduced Tish / Arianna to several people I know in the lifestyle, Dominant and submissive. Those who like me and even those who do not. She had taking the word of two other Doms before she met me and was abused by both. All because she took their word.

Do not be afraid to ask questions, and make sure the questions you ask, get the answers you want, do not settle for less.

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Vile