I Was Looking For Advice, But What I got Was ?

First I would like to say Tish and I are on the right track. Things are really going well. and getting better each day.

Every night I set aside time to just talk, this is done just before bedtime , we sit on the bed facing each other and just talk, about what ever. The is free time to say what ever is on the mind.

This type of communication is best done if your a 24/7 couple. Long distance couples spend a great deal of time on the phone, but you do not get the same effect. Meaning the facial expressions, looking into the eyes. At any rate communication is still very important.

So while talking Tish brought up the fact that she does not feel owned all the time. Did I read into this way to much? I do believe I did, I should of giving it more thought, instead of jumping to any conclusions, that it may be possible I am doing something wrong.

During the day and sometimes at night we are really a pretty normal couple, we talk, laugh and joke around. So the question is are you going to feel owned 24/7?  I would have to say after much thought no. Even in a Master and Slave relationship, you have to be somewhat normal. There has to be some give and take.

So I sought out advice, not from my normal ring of friends, but from someone who knows nothing of us, someone with an open mind. I have very few friends close enough to me, who I feel like I can open up to. Most of the time you might as well be calling CNN. Because once you share anything the word is all over the community.

So I posted my question in a few groups on fetlife, and the response was truly unbelievable. It turns out that everything was my fault. I should not be as nice to Tish as I am, I should not make her coffee in the am, or make her lunch. I should stop the night time talks. I was told the talks really gives Tish control.

Now it is not very often I turn to anyone for advice, but from time to time, I do have the need, or at times I simply do not have an answer.

Now if your a D’s couple. Master and Slave can you or should you feel owned 24/7. After much thought I really believe it is pretty normal not to feel owned at times. Although you are in that frame of mind.

You have to spend as much time being friends as you do Master and Slave. So Tish/Arianna does not have any control. Although I do value her input on somethings.

So I posted in a Fetlife group and I posed the question, of why Tish / Arianna does not feel owned all the time, and some of the answers just blew me away one really caught my attention.

Now as Dominants or Masters, we are responsible for the well being of our submissive’s or Slaves. We are to build up, We are to support, we are to give positive reinforcement , we are there for communication.

Here is one reply that just blew me away.

written 6 days ago:

when you say you were talking about the changes, were you seeking her input or telling her how it would be?

when dealing with tish, I would expect you to say, I will tell her to get her chain from bedroom and bring it to kitchen where she will sit and watch me eat. after I have finished, she will be given her portions. she is suppose to be a slave, she executes your wishes anticipates your needs and fills them. unless she is not truly a slave but instead is submissive.

you are still thinking of her as a person, not property. how is tish suppose to feel owned when she still appears to run the show. tish should be calling herself, this slave, this cunt, this worthless property, this cum bucket, or something humiliating so she feels beneath you and can readily accept being property and being owned.

around here, no privacy does not mean showering in view, no privacy means the bathroom door is always open and you occasionally go in and watch her. embarrassment is punished since an owner/master can always view his property. and his property has no secrets.

I am sorry I just cannot be that type of Dominant.



11 Responses to “I Was Looking For Advice, But What I got Was ?”

  1. Oh sorry that Fet was like that, but that sounds like normal response from some there.

    Have you asked Trish what would make feel more “owned” what does she think is missing? It could something very simple thing Vile.

  2. If that’s his deal, that’s great – some chick somewhere will revel in it. Will Tish? Is that something she’d want? If so, then maybe taking steps toward that is a good idea. If not then simply move on.

    I think the best way to accomplish Tish feeling owned all the time is to have that talk – the one foxy said 🙂 Ask her. Just because she’s a slave doesn’t mean she can’t have any input – that’s all up to you and how your relationship is configured!

  3. Rubber Bound Princess Says:

    I am allowed to voice my opinions in our relationship, it has too be right for both of us, In fact in our contract my Master has said he likes communication and has not put any restrictions on it, we live this 24/7 but we both hold down jobs, I dont always feel totally owned and controlled but I always know I place, and if I get it wrong my Master does discipline me, this live is about being one person, one identity and having self control and belief in what you have between you, My Master is my rock and my security and I know that I am loved and that whatever happens his word is final. i do not call myself names for his pleasure, I am who I am, and with a name as beautiful as the one you have chosen why should arianna, you took the time to think about it and make it personal to her, I do wear a collar 24/7 it is decorative and looks no different than a piece of jewellery to most but to me it means so much more x

    • You are correct, Tish / Arianna is not only allowed to express herself but I encourage her. I want to know what she is feeling, her thoughts.
      Yes much communication is needed on all levels.

      • Rubber Bound Princess Says:

        It is how we all learn what we all want out our relationships, Im glad my Master takes the time to show he cares enoughfor me to consider my happiness as much as his own x

  4. You know I don’t do Master/slave, so my perspective might be meaningless, but doesn’t it all go back to what you’ve said so many times about how everyone does it differently? As long as it works for the two of you, does it really matter how another might do it?

    And I agree with foxy…if you’re willing to listen to Tish’s input (and it seems you are), what does she think she might need? Clearly, you’re still the one with the final say, but maybe she’ll tell you something that will make it clear as to what you should do…

    I’m glad you’re happy and things are going well…:-)

    • You are correct on everything you have said. Also I am guilty of using such words in the past.
      There are those be it sub or slave, who crave such words who need. Those who need humiliation.
      I hope your doing ok.

      • I’m good, Vile, thank you. It’s a new world and a new day. Hopefully, I’m better off for what was now that I’m no longer pining for what might have been…

  5. Very good Kayla I am glad you are in a good place

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