We Train To Fit Our Needs

The word train, or training to many sounds really weird even funny to a lot of people.. Training really just consist of implementing new habits.

Why do Dominants train? Because the submissive or slaves seeks that type of attention. Depending on what your mindset is depends on how far you want to carry the lifestyle.

The truth is and I do not think many will disagree with me, those who are submissive live on the lighter side of BDSM. The Dominant sets rules for the submissive but in time he becomes somewhat lax and does not really enforce. The relationship turns more to just kink,unless the submissive does something that is really out of the norm.

A Slave wants to be owned, a slave needs to have that feeling of being owned. A slave needs that structure. A slave needs to know and feel she is needed.

The hardest thing about being in a Master and Slave relationship is being able to hold the everyday consistency. To say what we mean, and mean what we do.

Once you begin to start changing habit, from where the slave is allowed to sit, the food and the amounts of food the slave is allowed. Having her clothes picked out for her, her bath and bed time. The master takes over her life basically, not an easy task by no means.

The house a slave may only have a few places she is allowed to sit. This makes her feel owned, again it becomes a habit. What she wears once home, you limit her clothing if any, again you are adding new habits.

Arianna and I watched the movie The Pet. She enjoyed the movie, not so much the outcome , but seeing the devotion that a pet could have towards her owner really drove home. The thing that really got Arianna to thinking was the speech restriction , she asked if I would be interested in such a relationship. In a way we are somewhat on the same page but only when out at events or munchs. While out that is when the protocol kicks in.

Many submissives and slaves take the lifestyle serious, until they enter into a full relationship. Once they see it really takes a lot of work, one will tend to back off and change their outlook on the type of relationship they are seeking.

Many submissives or slaves make the comments I am an open book, or I am a blank canvas paint me, but once the dominant begins to paint, thoughts rush through the subs mind. Tis is not what she expected. She feels she is giving up to much of herself and more so her freedom.

A slaves outlook is totally different. A slave does not want or require freedom, but and this is a big but, they do need down time. Down time is needed it gives the slave time to breath, relax. If you ran a car for 24 hrs a day it would break down. The same thing can happen with a slave. I give Arianna down time every week. This is her free time to do as she pleases. Right now she is working on a quilt with an old friend of hers. I give one day a week and a couple of hours. At times I can see she may be a little stressed, so I send her to the bedroom for down time. She is allowed to listen to music, or write in her journal.

The down time giving is like I blogged about proactive-aftercare. I am always on the look out to insure Arianna’s well being. She is my responsibility.

In the lifestyle I have those who just love me, then I have those who hate me. The hate comes from how I run my house. The hate comes from me being so open. If I think your bullshitting me, I will call you out on it right there. Those who love me are true friends, and they know what I am about and where I am coming from. Most of those who do not like me are new to the lifestyle. I have nothing against them, today it is more about kink, nothing really to do with BDSM.

If you look at some of the groups today on fetlife, it has really nothing to do with the letters BDSM. The words kinkster is used more often. Even munchs have moved towards the word kinkster, the Dungeon in Orlando now is about kinksters, and not BDSM

Here is the kicker. I have been asked several times if I would share Arianna. I have been asked if they could fuck her, or if I would let her give them head. Really I swear. These are the people who dislike me.

When we as dominants train, we need to look at the needs, not the wants. The idea is to break old habits and create new ones. We take the bad habits away, and replace with good positive habits. The rules should be the same way.

When I was younger my rules were more sexually based, okay so I did not know any better. It really took me a long time to realize I was doing more harm than good. I was only looking out for me. It was about 7 or 8 years into the lifestyle before I found out the slave had to come first.

If you have a dominant and your rules are just based on sex, I would rethink the relationship.Don’t get me wrong I love to fuck, but the relationship runs so much deeper. The thought process should be different, unless your just into the kink of things.

I do use a few of the slave positions , not on a daily basis. I use them to put Arianna back in that frame of mind, they make her feel somewhat humble, and she feels some humiliation, again not everyday. As long as they continue to serve there purpose I will continue to use, I tend to change things up to keep Arianna off guard.

Okay today I am just rambling , this was something that just popped in my head.

 

Vile

4 Responses to “We Train To Fit Our Needs”

  1. Reblogged this on PurpleOrchid's Blog and commented:
    Interesting read. I shall comment more when I’m at my laptop rather than my phone

  2. Is it possible to be part way between the two traditional roles of submissive and slave? Can there be a transitional place where one is striving to get to the role of slave but as yet have not fully shed prior expectations of what it meant to be submissive?
    As our roles deepen in the relationship I have with my Master, I find that the slave mindset comes a little more naturally each time I reach for it but there are times when perhaps part of me misses the ‘freedom’ of just submission. It is as if I have two warring factions within me, the slave within me that craves that structure and the sub who occasionally wants to tell my Master to fuck off.

    Does this mean I will never be able to attain slavehood? I very much doubt it does. I feel that slavehood is very much a journey and we cannot perhaps put absolutes on this sort of thing. I hope I’m making some sort of sense.

    You state that a slave’s thought process and a submissive’s though process are very different, and at the ends of the scales, I believe you to be right. But what of those of us who are in the middle somewhere, striving to reach one or other of the ends. Are we too much of one to call ourselves the other? Do I lose the right to call myself slave just because I am new to slavehood and struggle against the bonds that I would choose for myself because perhaps the outside world is stressing me out?

    I take immense peace from serving but I think the struggle just makes me human. I do not feel that I should not call myself slave. In my innermost heart I am slave but it will be a long journey I think.

    • Ahh being a slave is not that easy. Yes I do believe there is a transition between the two if that is what you seek.
      Much depends on your Master, how deep he is able to get into your head, and how much you truly want to be a slave.

      The journey is not s long as you think, if you truly want to be it will come.

  3. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    What do you think ?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: