Some Women Will Take Abuse

A female who use to be a friend got me into blogging, we parted and went separate ways. I do wish her the best. Now I blog because I want to share my life experiences , but most of all it is to teach those women who are new to the lifestyle , how to find a real Dominant.

The key to my blog is I have no reason to lie. A man will lie when he has something to hide or cover something up. There are some of you who do know me, but for the most you would not know me if I passed you on the street. There are a few I have the hots for, but things pass.

Ninety nine percent of my followers are women, there are about three percent or so that make comments. I have made a lot of friends on my blog and I have lost some for what ever reason.

Why do you think most of my followers are women? Why is it very few men ever comment? Joseph McNamara  does comment from time to time, and I admire his writing.  The reason I believe is most do not agree with my BDSM style of living. Now there are a lot of women who do not agree with everything I write as well.

Where I am going with this, sometime last year, maybe just maybe I had just a touch of guilt hit me, concerning my past and how I treated women. I will be the first to admit I used for my pleasure , Be it sexual or physical. Maybe just maybe abuse may have come into play at times, because I always get what I want. There are those who would say no that is not true, but the bottom line is, if you are not with me, then I really did not want you.

Arianna and I were driving back from Orlando yesterday and I forget what the topic was, but I got kinda forward and rude. I believe my words were. Listen to me I may not be the best looking guy in the world, I have my flaws, but I have never dated an ugly woman in my life. I have never been with someone I would not take home to my parents. Someone asked me the other day if I had a huge cock. I asked why? He said how in the fuck did you get with Arianna? How did you score with her? She really lives with you? On a scale of one to ten Arianna is a twelve. She is smoking hot dressed or nude. As a matter of fact when we first met Arianna made the comment that if we were in the vanilla world she did not know if she would of dated me or not. Well I have some news.

So we are talking, and I began to explain. If I met a woman and I could get fifteen minutes of conversation you were had. I was taking you home. That is okay go on and say noway.

So for many years I used and used not even giving the consequences a second thought, not caring about feelings, or what the impact was on the female, not just submissive or slave females in general.

I suppose entering the lifestyle at such a young age, and being lucky enough to have had mentors I had from the beginning gave me an edge. It also gave me confidence, a lot of confidence and most of all the gift of gab. While in the US Army, I was banging a different chick just about every Friday night. With the exception of being stationed in Germany and having the opportunity to have met Gretchen, who up until I met Arianna was the best cock sucker I had ever met. Only two women maybe three but two for sure could give me head without using their hands and get me off, Gretchen and Arianna.

So when I share something I am not talking out of my ass. I do know a little something about something.  I was thinking maybe just maybe I could help a few, and I have helped a couple a couple , and I feel good about it, but there have been those who just wad the paper up in their hands and in the trash can it goes.

I am not talking about you Doms who are married and you go behind your wives back, because you are not Doms, you are a poor excuse for men who are real men. Men who have a back bone. On the other side of the mirror this is a two sided mirror, there are those who claim to be Dominants but just use the lifestyle as a way to get laid. Why is that? The truth is and I have said this many times those who are Submissive or maybe a slave. Looking for there first relationship , they are starving on the inside, they are lonely, and very needy, and this makes an easy target.  Even after all the reading, and advice giving about all the fakes, you are thinking this is the one, he has to be we have so much in common.

Some women will take abuse. You agree to meet for dinner, or maybe if bold enough you will drive to your new Doms house. You have not even met him yet but he has giving you rules, you have had phone sex, you have sent pics via phone, hundreds of them, he has seen you on webcam. The two of you have shared so much.

So your eating dinner the conversation is going well, then you see he reaches inside his coat pocket and pulls out a small leather collar. He places it on the table, and slides it over to you. He then says put it on you are my slave, you are wearing my collar, I just bought off of Ebay for 9.99. After your first meeting.

You are not only excited, your emotions are running wild, you start to cry a little, you have never been happier. You have finely found him. The one who is going to step in and fix everything. Your new Dom is going to make you complete.

As you are leaving you get in his car, and your first task is to suck his cock, yup your going to suck dick on the first meeting. He finishes and tells you what a good girl you are, and you part ways for the night.

Then and only then you start to really open up, you start to share more private information, because you were afraid to tell everything before, but the difference now you wear his collar.

A week later you hear from your new Master, this is when you spill your beans, you spill your heart. Everything seems fine, he is going to pull you together, you will now have rules, structure, um yea okay. I am not saying all Dominants are this way but way over 75% or more.

I remember after sherri and I split, and before I met chong. I would not allow women over at my place. We either met at their place or I got a room, sometimes I made them pay half. There were a very few select who were allowed over at my place. No I did not have anyone clean my house. I dropped my laundry off, and for ten dollars extra the little blonde dropped it back off at my front door. If I had started just letting every bitch I knew come over it could of been a disaster, after all , each one was the one, each one wore my collar. I did not need all that drama.

How do I know all of this? Well just like woman men talk, we share pictures, we talk about how good or bad someone gives head. Men talk we are in our cave comparing notes.

Does sucking a mans dick on the first date make you a slut, or maybe fucking on the first date. Nah not even, you are doing what you feel you need to do, to prove yourself, you are willing to go that extra mile, to show this Dom you are the one.

Once you fully open up, and you start to share more private things, the Dom now knows you have to much baggage, you are now going to be to needy, you are now a liability , you are now a problem. He will slowly start to push you away, he will not answer as often hours or days between text. Then finely nothing. You cannot go over to his house, you have no idea where he lives. You cannot call his work because you have no idea where he works, nor his friends you never met any of them. He has just pulled a Casper on you POOF he is gone.

You as a submissive will make the same mistake several times, you will be used, abused and sometimes put through so much pain, in hopes of finding the right one. The bad thing is, this is all normal, unless you truly listen to someone which is not the case most of the time. Dating sites like Alt are okay, Collar me is okay, and maybe just maybe the old craigslist just might work. I am not saying it is impossible, but it is very hard, and you will endure a lot of head games.

The best way to meet someone is through a friend who is already in the lifestyle, local events, you will be welcomed with open arms, and treated very well. Most of the time an older submissive will take you under her wing. Fetlife is a good place to meet.

I have posted before on what to look for in a new Dominant, questions you should ask. If the Dominant says I am married but my wife is not in the lifestyle but she understands me, and allows me to play. This is fine and good, ask him if you can talk to her since she is so open. Um yea that will happen. Not.

Just be careful, take your time, have patience he will come, and not just in your mouth. Although it does happen a good idea is no sex on the first meeting or even the second. A real Dominant would never collar you on your first date. Again NEVER.

So just chill and enjoy the ride, because once you find the right one, no other relationship could even compare.



4 Responses to “Some Women Will Take Abuse”

  1. Well said Vile as always

  2. What I find interesting is that this exact story is told over and over again. Thanks for sharing, as always.

  3. phoenixasubbie Says:

    Couldn’t agree more. Sadly I think we all make that mistake starting out.
    Some of us learn these lessons harder than others.

    Thank you for sharing.

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