Can You Just Turn Your Dominance Off

This is a question I have been asking myself for many years, and I do not understand those who are Dominant who say they can just turn it on and off.

I have a very good friend, I have known for sometime. He will tell you that although he lives with his slave, he is not 24/7 but he expects his slave to be.

He went on to say that he is to busy to be 24/7 and has no time, but is still yet searching for three more slaves to complete his stable, his flavor, spice things up.

So maybe for some there is a magic switch I have not yet found, maybe once you leave the house, you are now Mr, Goody.

My question would be since you are not 24/7 why would you expect the slave to still continue to follow the house rules? How could someone still expect the slave to feel like a slave? How can one be expected to follow the rules, if we are not in that frame of mind 24/7.

While I do not understand the switch, I can see one turning off the Dom switch, and going into the submissive mode. Nah I really do not get that either. I believe you are or your not. Your a slave or your not. I do know Arianna could not turn being a slave off.

I have never gave it a thought to submit to anyone at anytime , I am not wired like that, nor would I ever let some bitch tie me up and spank my ass. Not going to happen.

Being a Dominant takes a great deal of responsibility. So when you turn this switch off, does the responsibility go out the door as well.

Even while at work Arianna is in that frame of mind, even more once she is home. The master and Slave does not turn off at a certain time. If for some reason I said well you know honey I just do not feel like being Master today, so your off you can do what you want, have a good day. I am sure I would just get a blank stare. Do I get tired? sure I do, I get plenty of down time once Arianna is off to bed. Viles time. Arianna has been working on a quilt a lot here lately so this is her down time. I am not sure what a square is but she has about six of them done so far. She cuts everything by hand. She buys these quarter goobers from Joanns ,and yes I do go shopping with her, be it for food, clothes, or just to window shop, I am there by her side.

Arianna’s mother does know about our lifestyle, I am lucky in a sense I suppose. I have tried to explain things to her mother but I just get a blank stare. So when her mother sends me a text, I say she cant come to the phone right now she is tied up at the moment, it takes sometime to get a reply.

If you are into the lifestyle just for the kink, I could see a switch being turned on and off. I suppose it works the same way for a couple who are only D’s in the bedroom, but I would think at some point there would still have to be some D’s once out and about.

I would think if living an M’s relationship and the Dom just turned the switch off, it would lead to mass confusion. More so if a slave is being Micromanaged. Where would that leave her?

The lifestyle is changing daily, more and more groups on Fetlife are called Kinksters. There are some Master and Slave groups, servitude groups, but for the most it is just kink.

I think the control is to much of a need for me to just turn something off. I also would not know what to think if I told Arianna to go to the bedroom I want to fuck, and she said eh I am not a slave right now ask me later. WOW…

Either you are or your not.



6 Responses to “Can You Just Turn Your Dominance Off”

  1. Do you think it’s possible for it to get turned off during extreme stress? Lion told me as much when he released me. I don’t doubt his word. Just curious about how you view that.

    • No I do not believe that Kayla. As a matter of fact Arianna will tell you I thrive more under stress, my Dominance comes out more while under stress.
      Lion is still young yet, a young bull, it takes years to perfect true Dominance.
      Read Joseph McNamara response, I have much respect for Joseph.
      Back to the young bull, old bull, we grow wiser as we get older/

    • I have much respect for Lion, an awesome man. He is one of the few who really listened to reason.
      My advice to you Kayla if you are truly interested in the lifestyle is to find an older Dom, someone who has a long proven record in the lifestyle.
      What I am sure of you will find your, Lion will find his, once his road is a clear path. It may take six months or a year but he will get there.

      • I believe he will. Maybe one day it will stop hurting that it’s not with me. He’s a good man and some woman is going to be damn lucky one day.

  2. I think your last sentence says it all.

    There has always been the quandary for me in someone Dominant or submissive living in a 24/7 arrangement saying they can turn it off or on when needed. That in itself says to me and many in our life that they are not true or real life-style practitioners per se.

    This life-style is not just about sex and yet many relationship are forged and move ahead once the sexual component is established. It is then up to the individuals to incorporate all the other aspects into their own personal goals and ideals.

    Like you Ville, I take my responsibility very seriously and have for many years. A true Dominant or submissive knows and feels that engrained presence that calls them to this life. And like you, I also cannot fathom a switch that would take that ordained sense of self away when the mood strikes or something in life happens.

    In closing, I would say and agree with you that there are many levels of playing fields out there. I play on the 24/7 Life-Style field and I am most comfortable with my Dominance in full force 24 hours a day 7 days a week. My submissive, who when entering into our bond, and establishing our guidelines, would not have it any other way, as that is what attracted her in the first place.

    Thank you for this post and “Thank You” for the Re-Blog of my “subspace” post earlier today my friend.

    • Again Sir you are right on the money, I thank you for stopping by. I think in the past year I have re-blog three times.
      I have much respect for you , I believe we think alike just different sides of the track.
      Much Love

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