A Comment I posted Last Year To A dear Friend

I speak so much about abuse not only in the lifestyle, but in the vanilla world as well. Abuse turns to confusion, and your really not sure who you can turn to. It can be mental, verbal, and the worst is when it turns physical. One can only be beat down so much before nothing is left. All hope, all your self esteem, then your heart turns cold.

I have seen it many times when a Dominant brings a submissive or slave into their fucked up world. Mental problems, financial, and the best is problems with the EX. The Ex still runs their lives.

This is not a real Dominant. To be a Dominant you must be in full control of your life and surroundings. A married Dominant is not in control of his life, if he was he would be home fucking his wife, being in control of his little family world.

I had problems a couple of years ago. I stepped back to clear my head. I stayed to myself while getting my life back on track. I never gave it a thought to bring someone else into my problems. I slowly worked everything out, and when I was ready, I began my search.

This time was going to be different. I was not going to settle for less. I needed someone to complete me. It was going to be my way or no way. I wanted a true slave. I needed that control.

In a year and a half I dated probably 50 or 60 women. I carried my notes. I had a list made out of what I was seeking. I shared, I said read, and each time they would shake there head no. I did not give up. I knew what I wanted in a slave. I needed that connection. It was no longer about sex, it was the connection. We must be able to be friends first.

I run a strict and well structured home. I control everything. Look up the definition of everything. I micromanage everything, look up the definition of micromanage. It is about me.

I did not demand respect I earned it. I did not ask Arianna to be my slave. Arianna asked me if I would take her as my slave. I do not abuse Arianna in anyway. I give her my full respect, I give her support, structure, and most of all loyalty. Arianna knows no matter what she comes first, nothing else matters. Arianna knows I will drop what I am doing at a moments notice. Arianna knows she can fully trust me, she knows I would never harm her.

To be a Dominant is to be in full control. To be a Dominant is taking full responsibility for someone else.

I stand by my words if you are married and you are fucking around behind your wife’s back you are a piece of shit, you are nothing but scum. You use women to do things your little wife wont do, or your to chicken to bring up the lifestyle. Or you do not have the balls god gave you. You may feel guilty about face fucking your wife so you find another. You are scum, the lowest of life. Do you not think about the possibility of taking something home, and passing it on, or maybe passing something on to another submissive.

It is not fair to bring another into your little fucked up world. Get your head out of your ass and be a man.

Why bring someone else down to your level, the heartache, the confusion, and yes the abuse. Mental scars do not go away bruises do, verbal scars do not go away, bruises do.

So I wrote this response to my dear friend Butterfly, who was going through some hard times. I like her and not only because she is Asian. she is smart and beautiful, with a tender soul. Much Love Girl.

There is someone for everyone, many times we let our emotions overrun our logic. That usually turns to disaster, but before we can recognize it, we are already caught up in a tangled web, and we find it hard to break free.

We want so much for this to be the One we have been searching for, and we fight to make it work, only to find ourselves devoured in a cocoon, and it is too late.

We are there, nowhere to run, it is dark, and confusing. We have been brought down by someone else, we are not part of their world, their problems and insecurities, their anger issues. Things are taking out on us when we did nothing.

Yet we hope, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We are reassured that things will get better this is only temporary it will pass, and we will be happy and together.

Insanity is making the same mistake over and over expecting different results.

Then we break free, but the one is still dragging us down. We fight and struggle for air it is so hard to breath, mass confusion, we are withdrawn into their little world.

Once we see the light and we walk through the door, we begin to shut it, the door is oh so heavy, it weighs 5 tons. We push, and push but it seems like it will not close. Then somehow we gather the strength and courage and again we push, and push.

The door closes.

Our back to the door we are breathing so hard, our palms resting against the door, our eyes closed. Yes I made it, I am free of their clutches, they can no longer control me. I am me I am strong, you are weak, leave me alone.

I have struggled with you for so long and you have brought me to the depths of your hell, wanting me to feel like you.

I am free now. I have but two words for you, before I lock this door.

Fuck You.

Vile… 8/21/2012

One Response to “A Comment I posted Last Year To A dear Friend”

  1. Butterfly Joy Says:

    Much love to you Vile! Thank you for being a great friend to me. 🙂

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