Can Dominants Be Codependent

I have asked this question before and thought nah noway. Okay maybe just maybe it is possible for a Dominant to become Codependent.

Arianna has been away for a week now taking care of some much needed business, the house is empty, well except for the little bird, 3 fish and a Betta , and Arianna’s American Bulldog. It is quite almost to quite.

Being apart is almost like being in a strange country trying to find your way around, almost like a lost feeling. She will be home this week, but things are not the same.

I had been on a very strict diet, and I lost 14 pounds in just a little over two weeks. I can say though the day she left, it was game on. Pizza Hut was my first call, the next day Chinese food, burger king, Taco Bell, McDonald’s. and my favorite Big Joe’s Subs here where we live, the only place in town I can get a cheese burger at 6.30am. Lettuce, tomato, bacon, black olives, WOW.

Master and Slave truly forms a unique bond, it is like the two become one. When one speaks the other can almost finish the sentence. Or just laying in bed and watching Arianna sleep, is very relaxing, peaceful.

So do we as Dominants become so attached to one , that we become Codependent? Or is it we just miss the company? Maybe it is the control?

I do think a Dominant can experience a type of Dom Drop, just as a submissive can, but I have spoken on the sub-drop thing before, I think it can be prevented, I know it can be prevented.

I think with Dominants it is much different. One we do not really have anyone we can confide in. No one to really share our deep feelings with. Now your thinking well, he can talk to his sub or slave, but in my opinion that is far from the truth. Just like when a Dominant loses his temper, in front of his property. That is a true sign of a weakness. This is how the sub or slave views it. So to sit down and fully open up in my thoughts is a weakness, it makes the Dominant vulnerable in a sense. What is more true a sub or slave will use the new found weakness against her Dominant at some point and time, even without knowing.

Even to contact another Dominant, you might as well call CNN, because it will travel from the East Coast to the West Coast in a matter of hours. Then if you approach another Dominant with a problem it is always something they did wrong.

Do we as Dominants come to depend on ours so much if they are gone the Dominant is lost? Do we grow to depend on ours being there 24/7 ? Would it be wrong? Okay maybe lost was the wrong word.

It could be possible.



9 Responses to “Can Dominants Be Codependent”

  1. While I disagree about Dom’s opening up to their subs, I would imagine it’s possible for a co-dependency to form for a Dominant, just as much as for a submissive.

    But I will tell you, when a Dom opens up to me, he does not look weak and I do not view his issues as things to be used against him – my trust in him grows so much because he trusted me with that side of him, and possibly no one else. That’s part of the bond. I think (and maybe you will disagree) that in times of strife, the Dom should be allowed to use his sub in a different way – as a source of strength. Everyone talks about how strong submissives are – until we offer our strength, and then it somehow makes the Dom weak to use the strength that subs are supposedly filled with. It doesn’t make sense to me.

  2. phoenixasubbie Says:

    I fully agree with Kayla. I recently begged a dominant to use me as a source of strength, support, comfort whatever… during a hard time. He declined, I believe for reasons like yours, but I would not have thought him any less of a Dom. I would have been happy to be allowed to share that part of him, and to help him.

    • It is hard for most of us to open up. After all we do not have that much in common with the everyday world, and people we work with. Dominants tend to be somewhat of loners as well. I mean I have friends but no one I like enough to hang out with, if that makes sense.

  3. Butterfly Joy Says:

    Dear Vile, I think there is a difference between (a) a Dom experiencing difficulty and trying to understand himself/others better and overcome difficulties, (b) a dom being completely unsure what he is doing, lost temper, lost control, being controling and egoistic. I think the former kind he can and should confide to his sub. (My Daddy finds strength and consolation in me in times of difficulty. And that only makes me love and admire him more as a real man, someone I can rely on.) The latter… well I know no one is perfect but Doms do need to aim for better than that. If a dom is confiding to a sub that he is a jerk and he is not trying to change, then he may just lost the trust.

  4. You miss her presence, taking control and the structure in diet. πŸ™‚ You probably put back some of those 14 pounds … I hope she comes home soon. πŸ™‚ xoxoxo

  5. There is nothing wrong with missing someone you have formed such a special bond with…I am sure the re connection will be awesome for you both..

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