I Made A Mistake

I guess it was several months ago I received a couple of private emails from a reader offering to send me a private video. At first I really did not think much of it, nor did I really think she would send anything. This was back in December when I had just met Arianna.

After a couple of comments on my blog about wanting to send a video I said sure why not. Well several weeks had gone by and nothing.I had even forgot about it, then Bam an email.

The video was about 45 seconds and she was fully dressed. I received a couple of more comments but nothing came of it and I did not pursue it. Shortly after another comment from another reader wanting to send a video, without giving it a second thought I said sure.

Well the video was never sent after a couple of comments the subject was dropped. I never did pursue it , maybe if I had been single I may have, but probably not.

So just entering a relationship with Arianna was about the time the video thing came up. Again not giving it much thought.

As most have noticed I have not been blogging as much. I have been dedicating all my time to Arianna. Trying to build something that has gone very well. Things moved faster than I ever thought they would. The past six months have been awesome.

This AM Arianna posed the question do I have the need to control others as well as her. The answer is no. As far as I go one is more than enough. I have always been one on one with the exception of Chong and Beth.

The question is? Is receiving a video a form of cheating? Yes it is, it goes against what I believe, and against my morals. Did I really think something would be sent? Not at all I never really gave it a second thought. I was wrong. I will be the first to admit when I am wrong. I will be the first to admit if I make a mistake. As much as I would like to believe I am perfect I do have a few flaws.

Another problem I have is I want to save the world. I want to solve all the problems. Well it cannot be done. I have been slowly weaning myself off of such task. I cannot fix everything as much as I would like to. One it puts to much of a task on me, and two it takes time from Arianna.

I have been helping out some people and this is coming to an end very soon. Although I love helping, I only help those who want to help improve there own well being. Most of the time when one helps, then it becomes expected, sometimes on purpose sometimes not. The time has come to let go. Maybe it was because I was single, and just wanted company. There are really some I feel sorry for, and I want to take under my wing, it has nothing to do with D’s or control, but I end up spending way to much time on task that really has nothing to do with me. 

I explain to people if you do things by the book things will fall into place. If you follow the rules of the world things will fall into place. The minute you try to take a short cut, everything falls apart. Then it is time to put the blame on others. Rules are put in place for a reason.  Even if we do not agree, if you do things by the book 99% of the time, things will go in your favor.

I am not a man of drama, I stay away from drama, and those who thrive on drama. Most of the time peoples problems are self inflicting. Again not following rules, they try to take a short cut, and their world crumbles, and someone else is to blame.

I try to surround myself with positive people, who do not need the drama to live. Who live by the rules put into place. Hear lately that has not been the case, again saving the world.

It is time to hang my cape up, and worry about two. It is not the recognition I need from others for helping, it is the satisfaction I get from helping others. I do not even expect a thank you.

Arianna comes first before anyone or anything. It will remain so. My saving the world has come to an end. I have a few things to do that I am taking care of then I shall wash my hands.

Much Love


12 Responses to “I Made A Mistake”

  1. I could not agree with you more here my friend. Interestingly enough I think a “good” Dominant will see in the world what could use a boost or touch and of course act in a perceived positive way as best you can. A Dominant is a Dominant is a Dominant… comes to mind… I know personally I would love the world order to be at peace as well as being there for and responding to the ills of society when they come along all while trying to keep my own eros healthy… But who am I kidding… Sometimes an abundance of good intentions and will can leave you mute in everything you are trying to succeed in…

    As per your video or anything else that enters from the outside, I totally agree, a relationship is built on trust be it vanilla, life-styled or marriage. And the hint of impropriety leaves that taste you know is off base. You of course are about to take it to that level that solidifies relationships and life-style in so many ways. And your response to this video presented is admirable. (You are setting good examples here with your thought) …

    • You are a Man and Dominant of good character, each time your words are just incredible, much wisdom.
      I do make mistakes, but I learn from them.
      You are correct about the trust once you damage it, it is hard to regain.
      Again thank you

  2. I’ve wondered about that. How can a Dominant who spreads himself so thin have time to take care of a submissive once she comes into his life fulltime?

    • You cannot spread yourself to thin. You have to dedicate all your time to one, more so if they are needy.
      That is why I had to make changes, changes that were needed.
      Thanks for asking.

  3. I agree with Joseph’s comments here Vile. I am so pleased you and Ariana have found each other and you seem to have so much devotion to each other . It is right that you concentrate on building your relationship and putting each other first 🙂 x

  4. Fairness all-round, it has to be. No restrictions of power. Emotional abuse can be so insidious and unclear, sometimes just a bad habit that has not yet been detected by the D. can be seen after a while by the S. and it needs to be sorted-out, spoken about for the relationship to fly.

    • I agree with you on this comment fully. Sometimes we do not see everything. No ones fault. Once found if not to late it can be corrected.
      Many S think dominants are perfect, once you lose that respect it is almost impossible to regain

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