We Must Have Trust

Trust is a must not only in the world of BDSM, but in the world of Vanilla.  I am not talking about sleeping around, but the words that come out of your mouth. When you lie it chips away at ones feelings. I know from my past vanilla marriage, she had a real problem with the truth, even when it was beneficial to her , or it was just easier to tell the truth. I could never trust her, her not having the ability to tell the truth was not learned until a year or so into the marriage.

The first thing a Dominant tells a submissive when they meet is, always tell the truth, never lie. The same is suppose to go with the Dominant as well, the Submissive gives so much, and put so much trust into the relationship, if the Dominant is caught in a lie, again the ability to trust is very hard if even possible.

During a deep session, if the Dominant has not been truthful, it makes it almost impossible for the Submissive to truly let go, thus not getting the real enjoyment of play, if the Dominant had been up front and truthful. It is not how your going to be caught in a lie, it is when your going to be caught. Once you have been busted it is impossible to back track. One lie needs another, then another and another to cover up the first.

I do not understand over half of the Dominants I know are married, their wives are vanilla. So they look outside of the marriage to fulfill their kink. A lot of this I know is out of guilt, they would never face fuck their wife out of guilt, but when it comes to someone they really don’t have a commitment with with, it is different. It is much easier to use someone you don’t care about.

The nine years I was married I was miserable, the sex really sucked. In the end though I came clean about who and what I was and what I needed in a relationship. Yea I was asked to move out. While married I just sucked it up, played my role, and I tried to be the perfect Dad.

Sometime ago I had a friend call me from jail. He wanted me to post bail, the first words out of my mouth was how much and where. I then asked him what happened, and he told me his wife and him got into it, and he messed up and hit her. I did not post bail and we are no longer friends. While I did not understand his infidelity , the physical abuse was the last straw.  I have never understood why a man would hit a female, not matter how bad the argument got. More so I never understood how a man could beat a woman, during the day, then apologize that night and crawl on top just to bust a nut. Hitting is much worse than telling a lie, but the bruises do go away, while lies do not.

So what do you get by telling the truth? Pretty much anything you want within reason. The more one can trust, the more a submissive will give. I would imagine the same goes in a vanilla relationship. The more the submissive can trust the more they will give and in most cases without question.

Telling the truth goes a long way, even when it is going to hurt someone.



2 Responses to “We Must Have Trust”

  1. Sisyphus47 Says:

    “What if one day you became whatever you’re not?” ~ Bret Easton Ellis

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: