Maybe I Am Not The Right Dominant For You

I have heard this statement before not to often but have heard it in the past. I can say the only time I have heard it is when the Dominant has to put a little effort into the relationship.

A lot of subsmissive’s or Slaves come with some baggage, I did not say all but some do. Be it past relationships, maybe they suffer from depression, it could really be a number of things. As we enter the relationship we do not enter it blind.

When a submissive or Slave first meets a new Dominant for what ever reason they lay their whole life out on the table, giving up to much information to soon. I am not saying don’t be honest but you should wait a while before you let someone totally into your life.

If you have been honest and upfront with your new Dominant then he does not come into the relationship blind he has a good idea what he is getting into. He then comes up with a plan of action on how to handle things. If a Submissive or Slave has baggage that I will call deep, meaning maybe they suffer from depression, maybe bi-polar which seems to be common, maybe there is a link maybe not, but for an inexperienced Dominant to enter such a relationship is not a very good idea, maybe he should just bow out gracefully, instead of just jumping into the water.

We are not knights on a white horse. We are looking for the same thing, a true commitment , a partner. We cannot fix you, we can offer advice and guidance from past life experiences , we can offer communication, love, and understanding.

It is wrong for a Dominant to enter a relationship knowing there may be some hurdles and not be willing to stick it out. What you do in the end is cause more damage.

I have a friend who is in the same situation he entered a relationship knowing everything. His submissive has on going health problems, suffers from depression, among other things, but he was willing to take the next step.

While in the relationship he was looking for another submissive, his dream to live with two women. To each their own I have done it. It is not all that, and many more problems can pop up. It works for some, while it does not work for others.

So he has bitten off more than he can chew. The words were I love you but maybe I am not the right Dominant for you.

Okay those words face to face run deep, I cannot imagine after a year someone hearing these words. She does need a lot of care, he knew this, she does require protocol he knew this, she does require rules, he knew this, she does require structure again he knew this. She is somewhat of a Masochist he knew this. So he did not enter the relationship blind.

A good Dominant is able to conform to most any type of situation. A good Dominant is able to guide, and lead. It is wrong to lead someone on, and just walk away when the fire gets to hot.

So you have to spend an hour of your day contributing something to the relationship, so you have to spend time making sure your rules are followed, the task you have giving for the day, an hour a day out of your precious time.

Your getting everything you could ever want, without question, but a few hurdles come up then your ready to leave. Wow your going to leave because it takes to much of your time to put a little into a relationship . Even in a D’s or M’s relationship it has to be give and take. You cannot take and take and take and not be expected to give anything in return.

So man up , this is the way it is going to be, my way or no way. I run this fucking house and this is what your going to do. Choices and Consequences.

What happened was he found someone who he thought would fit in their little family, then his submissive had somethings going on, a few hurdles, now he thinks the grass is greener on the other side. The truth is once you jump the fence and your not willing to put any effort into the relationship, you are going to get the same results.

Although I have been Dominant for as long as I can remember, being a Dominant 24/7 is no easy task. It can be mind boggling , confusion at times, but we must never show that we may have concerns or problems. We must show we are in full control at all times. We must show we are a leader in private and public, we must show we are honest and we live by the truth no matter the consequences. We have put a label on our self, now we have to stand tall and show just how we are and what makes us this way.

Saying the words Maybe I am not the Right Dominant for you, shows weakness, it shows you are not in control, or you just do not care.



11 Responses to “Maybe I Am Not The Right Dominant For You”

  1. This is so true and to the point, this is a LIFESTYLE, not just a game and it can have many consequences. We need to take care of those li I es as the gifts that they are and are given to us. Great post

  2. Kathy Lewis Says:

    Wow that was very good. To me it doesn’t matter vanilla or kinky, you have to take responsibility for your actions.

  3. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    This just popped back up on my Facebook feed

  4. Reblogged this on Searching 4 Selina and commented:
    I love the sentiments of this, and I think this is also why I am upfront about who and what I am when someone wants to be my Daddy…I see it as a way of saying “Go slow and check it out before you buy it” so that I don’t get so far in I”m heart broken by those words.

  5. Right on the F**king money! Show some balls. The whole, “It isn’t you its me thing” is terrible for a nilla and ten times worse for a Ds relation.

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