If You Cannot Run Your Own House

Last week Arianna and I were just relaxing, and she said something about going to the munch, I thought for a minute and said well lets go. We had a very busy day, I had dropped her off earlier in the day for a hair coloring and a cut, while I did my errands later that day I had a few other things to take care off and we were just chilling.

So we jumped in our Jeep and off we went, we do not get out much due to my work schedule so it was nice, even though we had just eaten Chinese food, and we were headed to a restaurant for a Munch.

We walked in and I saw a couple of old friends then a Dom I had not seen in almost seven years, we sat and ordered a small platter that we shared I was still pretty stuffed from earlier.

I sat down next to Master M and we started talking, he is poly his submissive not so much, but he is telling me how fucked up this other submissive was that he had met. Well I had sent him a couple of emails telling him the samething but he just ignored me.

So I start to explain that if a submissive has been single for a long time I am talking about a year or more they are just fucked up, this goes for single men as well, although some choose to be single.

Yup foot in mouth as I look across the table there sits two single subs, then I made the comment about men, oh well I had already said it. I explained myself a little then decided there was no need.

So Master M and I went outside to smoke which I am really trying to break, anyway we are talking and he is telling me about all these problems he is having at home, and he is thinking about moving out.

Her daughter not working, well you knew this before you moved in. Her health problems well again you knew this before you moved in. Her temper again you knew this before you moved in.

Then I began to explain you have to have your own house in order before you try and bring another one into your home. It is not fair to bring someone else into the drama game.

Then the arguing came up, I am like why would you even argue with your submissive, I cannot relate to that so I have no advice. What kind of Dominant would stand toe to toe and argue with a submissive. I said you can’t spank her shes a fucking Masochist, so you either take something away or you hit the ignore switch.

I had sent him two emails before offering to set up a meeting so we could all talk, but both were ignored. He then made the statement he was thinking about moving out. I can see his point in a way, but on the other hand he has come into this submissives home, and changed her whole life, and in my opinion it would not be fair to her.

Today it is much easier to just pack up and run when things get hard, or you don’t want to deal with something. Why work anything out when there is an easy way out.

So we go back in and sitting and I look at him then her and I told him put your fucking foot down and put the bitch in her place. Complete silence. She would never say a cross word to me due to respect. I told him your the man of the house tell her how its going to be and stick to your word.

I have talked about many times about how a Dominant must remain consistent in a D’s or M’s relationship. You have to set time aside to communicate. You cannot be a Master 4 hours a day and take the other twenty off, it does not work that way. If you set guidelines, rules, and protocols stick to your word, you cannot bend or look over things.

I have lived poly before, with two slaves, it is not what people or single men think. It is a pain in the ass keeping two slaves straight, and not getting in between them when they are fighting, you cannot show favorites. To live with two women because it is a fantasy will get you no place fast.

Most who are submissive or a slave do not like poly or a triad, but will go along with just to please. If you bring another into the picture, you have to let the other know she is number two, she will remain number two and will never be number one. Is that how you would want to live? I would think not, even seeing a married Dominant you will always be number two, always.

If you enter a relationship and everything is brought out in the open, and you agree to enter, then suck it up. I hate nothing more than a complaining little Bitch.

Okay maybe I am wrong but a good Dominant should be able to grasp any situation and gain control over it. If you do not really know your Submissive inside and out you will never gain control. You cannot go around barking out orders, and expect to be in control.

So you want the pussy but you don’t want the responsibility that comes with it, you want the kink, but you are not willing to look at the whole picture. You cannot take and take and expect something in return. There has to and will be a huge break down.

You the Dominant has all these problems behind on bills, AC is broken, tons of shit and your looking to bring another in, incredible.

I had invited them over to our home for dinner not long ago, it was the first time we had really had a chance to talk. It did not take me long to decide he was ego driven. To make things worse as we are talking he is agreeing with everything I was saying, but it was going in one ear and out of the other. .

Why do you want two women living with you? Because I have always wanted that. That is not an answer, that is pure ego.  Since I started this post they have since split, I saw it coming, the night we had dinner I told Arianna it was not going to work.

To bring another Slave into the home you the Dominant has to be able to validate your reasoning. Maybe your Slave works full time and you would like to have another pick up the slack. Maybe you the Dominant enjoys pain but your Slave does not but other than that you are both happy. Maybe a third income would be beneficial to the home as well. The list just goes on and on.

Is it possible to love more than one, well I am not so convinced , being in an M’s relationship Master and Slave the Dominant has to devote a great deal of time, even when your not up to it. Most Slaves in general are really possessive, and do not have a very high tolerance when it comes to jealousy. So you have to think if it would be fair to bring another in.

Now if you turn the tables, and lets say the submissive is a Masochist but her Dominant is not, and the submissive wanted to bring in another Dominant, he would go nuts, because in a mans mind it does not work that way.

Maybe you met a submissive, and as your relationship grew the submissive found out they wanted to move forward, from being a submissive to a slave, yes there is a huge difference. So now the Dominant has to be able to change up the game a little. If you truly care this would not be a problem, but if your in it just for the kinky sex, it will become more of a burden and the Dom will want to move on.

In the lifestyle we change what were not needs before become needs. I know I am always thinking of different things to try. The key is being able to wait out your search and find someone your compatible with.  Think with the right head and you wont be wrong. If you think with your Dick your relationship is doomed.

Arianna is interested in Hypnosis , I have never giving it much thought, but because she is, I have been doing a great deal of study, on the subject. Last week I even invited a hypnosis to our home who is in the lifestyle.  It was a good meeting and it went very well.

I had even had a few write what is called an induction letter for me, then after reading and having somewhat of an understanding of what the word effects were I wrote my own. After letting Arianna read it she asked if I wrote it, well as a matter of fact I did, she was really impressed. The letter is to draw someones attention, and by using key words that will cause triggers. The letter to some will make no sense, and to some it will have no effect. To those who are easy to put under the letter can have a huge effect.

We will have the hypnosis over again soon, he was very nice, did not try and get to personal, he was able to put Arianna under. Although Arianna is a Slave she wants the feeling of submission to be an on going feeling, she wants to feel more Slaveish.

So she has an interest in this subject and I care enough to do something she likes. That is the way a relationship is suppose to work. You have to think outside of your pants.



14 Responses to “If You Cannot Run Your Own House”

  1. phoenixasubbie Says:

    I agree. I expect my Daddy to listen to me, and take into consideration my thoughts and feelings… but just argue with me. No. I can get that in a vanilla relationship. I want him to put his foot down and tell me how it is going to be.

    PS. I’m also very interested in hypnosis for the same reason. He feels the same as you. Not so into it, or the reason behind, but open because I want to explore.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • That is what I told this other Dom, put your foot down tell her like it is. The Dominant sets the example he sets the pace of the relationship.
      If you want you can email me and I will send you an induction letter that was sent to me maybe give your Daddy a greater understanding, or he can email me either way.
      I have been doing a lot of research on hypnosis pretty interesting.
      Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Sadly I have noticed there are some that live for the drama. For me I have had enough in my younger years and know better now. like phoenix said if I wanted drama and arguing I would have stayed in my vanilla relationship.
    I will always listen to her and hear out her thoughts, but in the end, the decision is mine.

  3. thegirlpashn Says:

    I live in a poly house with my owner and his primary partner, who is just that, equal to him. I’m the only slave in the house and will ever only be. While my Sir may play with other submissives from time to time to get the variety he enjoys, he has no desire to bring another slave or submissive into the home. Additionally, there is no vanilla arguing and we both like it like that. From time to time he may solicit my opinion and he is very open that he wants to know what I really think, not just for me to tell him what I think he wants to hear. But, at the end of the day, he makes the decisions and I abide by them, because this is the type of relationship that we both want and what works best for both of us.

    • Some Poly households do work, I live in a poly relationship for seven yrs.
      I have changed we all change I am now Happy with one. One is enough responsibility , maybe it is the micromanaged that takes up the majority of my time, but I am good. I get everything I could ever want from one and more.
      On the other side I have seen poly ruin homes, I suppose it can go both ways.
      I am glad it works for you.

  4. I could never do poly, ever. And I think you are so right about a D needing to first know why they even want to do it in the first place. Having a proper vanilla affair with a second woman is difficult enough for most men to manage.. having 2 women in the same relationship in the same house is just asking for trouble.. I know it works for some.. but I think only for the reasons you’ve mentioned.

    But… that “if a submissive is single for more than a year she’s fucked up” comment… it’s not exactly easy to find a real D or M, you know. If vanilla doesn’t do it for you, wth are you supposed to do?

    • Well maybe the single for a year was wrong I was speaking about men as well.
      On the other side I was single for a while, but I had made up my mind I would not settle for less. I wanted what I want and was not going to bend.

      • Well, what’s your definition of single? Someone not collared? Someone who is only dating? Someone who hasn’t had sex for that long because they can’t find anyone?

        Also I forgot to say… your remark about hitting the “ignore” button… I think this is one of the worst, most damaging things a D/M can do to a sub/slave… it’s too severe for me and I know others who feel that way. If someone did that to me, I would probably ask to be released.

  5. airasetsunyo Says:

    Yes, this …. i can relate … i have often wondered, with the time and energy Y/you put into a healthy M/s relationship, how in the world would Y/you have time for anything more than a play date every now and again … but i am new to the poly idea. The fantasy is great, but i keep telling my Sir, i wouldn’t even know where to start because i don’t have the time to invest in something else.
    yours in life and leather
    slave of DarkHouse

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: