My Slave, This is Arianna’s Story Her Search For A Master.

This email was just sent by my Slave and wife, she is at work today and I am just about ready to leave for work. She does read my blog daily and at times she does comment. Arianna for the most is private and I respect that.

This is the story of her search and I am guessing you are going to know and understand where she is coming from. The road can be long and scary. The key is to think before you act.

Dear Master. 
This is my response but I totally understand if it's too personal to use. 

The search
So, I stumbled into the lifestyle out of curiosity and need. A need to fill an 
emptiness. A void. A knowing that there was a deeper connection that could be 
had between two people. From what I knew of the bdsm lifestyle, which was very 
little at the time, i understood it as a viable possibility that this is where I 
needed to be. So the search began. I put myself out there. I went to a bdsm 
personals website and created a profile along with a real pic and info that 
included I was new to the lifestyle. 

The very next day my in box was breeming with inquiries. I sifted through the 
hey babys and picked three that I thought might be real doms. The term "real 
doms" for me was really vague. I was looking for older gentleman who claimed 
they knew what they were talking about and were already starting to give advice. 
There was a consensus between two of them that I should immediately take down my 
profile off the personal site because my profile screamed newbie which could 
land me in a predators hands. This gave me a sense that these people really were 
looking at for my best interest. 

Next, I started emailing back and forth between the three. I also started phone 
calls with them. One wanted to know something that I never shared with anyone 
before. This was a hard task because I'm an open book. Between the three I 
blurted out my entire life story. I babbled and babbled hoping that one would 
accept me for me. 

It came time within a week to meet the local guy who responded. I met him at a 
local eatery but he did request that I wear a skirt or a dress with no panties. 
So I did. The conversation was all about me and I was loving the attention but 
in the back of my mind I couldn't help thinking that there has got to be a 
better connection to submit, right? I told the guy about the other two doms I 
was talking to. I was very truthful with how I was feeling. I just didn't feel a 
connection and told the guy that I wasn't choosing him. That was hard but the 
prospect of him taking me home and fucking me, kind of disgusted me. 
The guy responded to the rejection by saying that he was disappointed because he 
wanted to start my training as a slave that day which would have included me 
being naked at his house giving him a blow job to see what areas needed 
improvement. 

So. Now there were two. The two remaining doms were both out of state. One was 
30 years my senior and wanted to fly me up to his house to spend three weeks 
with him. That was to be the first meet. I decided that the age gap was just too 
much for me.  And  he seemed to smother me. I wasn't looking for cuddling and 
spooning with an older guy. I wanted a Dom to enforce rules and put into place 
structure. 

Then there was one. Although I had already told this last Dom that I wasn't 
interested he wouldnt take no for an answer and I wasnt confident enough to 
stand firm and had The belief that he knew best. So after a couple arguments and 
heavy discussions we decided to meet. He flew down to meet me at a fancy hotel. 
I met him in the Lobby. He was a smooth talker. Asking all sorts of questions 
about me. It was all about me. And he started buying me drinks. I got relaxed 
and then we moved up to his room. He said that I needed to ask him to submit. I 
decided that I didn't have much to lose and the conversation was going so well 
and I could always change my mind, right? The last question was internal and not 
verbalized. 
So I said, Master I would like to serve you. Will you accept me? 
Of course his answer was yes. I felt a twinge of excitement. A new beginning. 
Then in a moments notice everything changed. His demeanor got serious. His face 
had a scowl. He turned scary. Then I was like, oh shit. I said, your scaring me. 
He responded that now I was his. We proceeded to get into a heated argument 
where I threatened to leave. He threatened that security wouldn't let me because 
I had too much to drink. I screamed fuck you. Then he changed again and gave me 
a whoo is me story about how nobody loved him and he wanted to take care of me. 
Really laid the guilt trip on so I conceded my defeat and submitted to him 
again. Little did I know that over the course of the next six months we would 
have other heated arguments about me leaving and each time he turned the tables 
on me to where it was my lack of commitment and falling back on my word. This 
was my downfall every time. 

I finally was able to break free. After six months. It wasn't a match. Never had 
been but I was naiive in figuring out what my needs and wants were in the 
lifestyle. I thought that every Dom was real and experienced. I believed every 
word they said. Never in my mind did I think that there was a hidden agenda. I 
didn't classify them as a normal male. Doms were so far above the vanilla man 
because they are confident and take a " true" interest. Lol
This is not always the case. I admit. I was full of anticipation. Full of 
excitement. It was a total rush but over time it was a burden with my first Dom. 
I realized that he was controlling and not in control. He would lose his temper 
and blame me and my emotions for anything that went wrong. And I took it because 
I was his property even though I was not flourishing. Even though I knew in my 
heart that this wasn't going to work. I settled. I got hurt. And it took me a 
while to heal. 

. 

I'm awesome now. I have gained a better understanding of myself. And I have 
found my "one". 

All in all my experience is like thousands of others just entering the 
lifestyle. We have stars in our eyes and fluttering hearts that maybe we will 
have our very own Dom or Master. 

I just wanted to let other subs and slaves and newbies know that it's pretty 
normal to trust. I think it's in our nature. But that could be a double edged 
sword. Trust should be gained and not given when meeting someone. I know my 
experience may ring true with others. I hope it opens your eyes that it's easy 
to be swept away when your guard is down. 

My openness was taken advantage of and used against me in my search. Also my 
attitude of doms not being able to do wrong. That they always have the best of 
intentions. That they would never harm. But what I failed to realize until later 
is that the lifestyle is like the vanilla world in that there are good and bad 
apples. It's up to our internal discernment to tell us the difference but we 
have to give ourselves the chance. 

Be careful and good luck. 
Arianna

Vile

7 Responses to “My Slave, This is Arianna’s Story Her Search For A Master.”

  1. littlebopeep12 Says:

    :), thank you for sharing that with us.

  2. Alexandrea Ward Says:

    Some of the words on the right side of the page have been cut off so it made it a little difficult for me to completely read this post.

  3. Thankyou both for sharing

  4. Thank you for stopping in and spending a little time here

  5. As usual a great post. And I really liked to see something that arianna wrote. I DO believe she has a lot to say that other submissives and/ or newbies can learn from. I also believe firmly that, to a submissive, advice given from Doms and Masters like yourself is great advice most of the time, but it means more to learn about the experiences and views of another submissive. Just like I myself like to keep an open mind and hear about the other side as well. I do think that is important for a Master or Dom as well to grow and not come to a stop developmentally, for the sake of themselves, and even moreso their slave’s/sub’s.

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