Archive for December, 2013

What Can You Do For Me

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, being used, Cheating Dominant, Collars, communication, consequences, control, controlling, Conversation, Disrespect, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Married Dominant, Master, passive, slave, submissive, sucking cock, Trust, What Can You Do For Me on December 31, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

You are in the process of taking the biggest step in your life. You are going to submit, you are going to give your body and mind. You are going to allow someone to tie you up and just use you. You are about to embark on a new travel, you are going to see what the other side of the world looks like in the world of BDSM.

Lets put several things aside for now, sex, sucking cock, bondage, all the kink and lets concentrate on six words and only six words. These words are very important.

What Can You Do For Me. These are words you should not be afraid to ask, those six words are probably the most important words you could ask.

As you ask you will see the jaw drop open, and a moment of complete silence, a look of disrespect because you have just called a Dom out.

If you met online most of the topic has been whether he wants you or not, are you worthy of being his submissive or slave, are you real, are you serious?

Most of you are to shy or scared to ask such a question, but this is clearly your right. After all chances are on the first meeting your going to let him take you to a motel room tie you up and just use you. You may like it or you may not but you will take what ever is giving.

I have got a lot of negative feed back about the waiting period, so I am going to skip that. Having a session on the first meeting is up to you. It is all based on choices and consequences nothing more.

What Can You Do For Me?I am not speaking financially, although it is good if he has some type of income coming in. What Can You Do For Me? I am speaking in terms of stability, comfort , structure , communication , the feeling of being safe, being number one, treated with full respect, respecting your limits. Being not afraid to speak your mind when things are going south.

What is your time limit when it comes to giving you a collar? What do I have to do to earn a collar? How many have you collared ? What happened to those relationships? Can I contact any of them?

Are you bringing any Drama to the table? Are you married ? Are there any problems with your Ex? Is there a reason why I would not be able to go out with you and your friends? Who do you know in the lifestyle? Can I meet them?

What makes you a Dominant ? Why do you want an M’s lifestyle? What would our everyday life consist of? What are your limits?  Do you have anger issues? if so why ? What do you consider abuse ?

The most important thing is to say what is on your mind instead of just thinking it, you have to get everything out in the open. Say what is on your mind right then. Because if you just sit there and agree with everything, then you have to face the consequences alone.

I come down hard on Married Dominants or those who think they are Dominant. Their wife wont suck cock or take it up the ass, so you are now the one who will fill his void. While you go home alone he will go home as if nothing happened, and crawl in bed with the wife he says he does not love. While you are at home alone he is banging his wife. You will spend your birthdays alone, you will not go on vacations. You will wait for days for that call, or text. If you do get a call it is for phone sex or he wants you to send pics or a video. Again consequences.

The married cheating Dominant cannot control or run his own home, you are filling that void, now he has someone he an use once or twice a month, and again he will crawl in bed with his wife and kiss her good night. You once again will go home alone and WAIT. That is what your suppose to do is just WAIT.

If your into married men and you do not mind the above then have at it.

If your not happy in a marriage get the fuck out, leave, kids or no kids. Take your loss, be who you are and who you want to be.

Okay enough on Married men who cannot control their home.

WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME, those are the words you should be thing and asking.

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My New Years Resolution

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, e-cig, New Years Resolution, stop smoking on December 30, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first and for most to stop smoking. I have been using this thing called a e-cig now for about 3 months, and I am slowly making the transition . So as of January 1st I refuse to buy another pack. I am going 10 to 12 hours without so the time has come. I have told Arianna I was done more than once, and she has really been understanding.

To have more sex. I love fucking. There are no words that can possibly explain the awesome sex we have.

More Head not that I do not get enough, but a man can never get enough Head.

My work place I have not totally decided on as of yet something tell me I should just leave but then something tells me things will get better. Starting a new career is never easy.

I am going to lose twenty pounds I was on the right track 3 months ago, and I just stopped for what ever reason.

More play time, I love playing with Arianna, it makes it fun because I can really do what ever I want.

Be nicer to people I think this will be the most difficult task to accomplish , not that I am a total asshole, I just have a hard time dealing with stupid. So I am going to try my best.

To be closer to family another hard one when it comes to my step mom, again not an easy task, but I believe I can pull it off.

To spend more time with my son. I have not missed a week of child support in over 10 years , and I have always paid above and beyond what I was suppose to.  Although it is court ordered it is not taking out of my check. Why? Because ive always paid without question. I have done without just so I could pay.

That just about covers everything.

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Vile

Do You Have To Be Submissive Before You Can Be Dominant

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, bi-sexual, Chinese Cupping, Dominant Switch, Dominants, Domme, Gay, Lesbian, slave, submissive on December 30, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is something I have heard for some time now. You cannot be Dominant unless you have been submissive. I find that most who make that comment are those who switch.The other statement is, how can you control a submissive if you have never been submissive. To each their own I just do not follow this train of thought. I am not saying your way of thinking is wrong because it is not. Your way of thinking is just that.

There are women who are submissive who are able and like to switch, but I have never met a slave who would even think of switching. A slave is not wired that way.

I know if Arianna was to see me submit to someone else, she would be gone. Number one reason would be I am not the Dominant I told her I was, but the most important thing would be, she could no longer respect me.

We all have our kinks, we all have our needs, I do not judge anyone by the way they live their life. I may not understand but hey if it cranks your tractor go for it.

I have stated before there is a huge difference between Master and Slave, and Dominant and submissive, or Daddy Dom and baby girl. The dynamics of each and every relationship is so different.

In the last couple of years there has been a few Masters who have just blown my mind, those who switched and I never saw that part in them, while their slave was not able nor did they want to switch.

I myself have never been on the receiving end , and you have a better chance in seeing the sea part before you see me submit to someone. The idea I do not understand my slave because I have never been submissive is just a fucked up statement. I am not sure about others, but I do understand my slave, I understand her feelings, I understand her needs. I know her inside , out.

Although, on the wild side, if I have done something to a slave out of the ordinary , I have probably done it to myself. A good example I was with a slave who got off on needles. I had never done any needle play before, so I experimented on myself. I got nothing out of it, but I was able to fulfill a need. the Tens Unit, I have tried on myself, Chinese cupping the same, the violet wand.

If there was something I did not know how to do and wanted to try. Then I find someone who knew how to do and got them to show me. You never go in blind, because you can really fuck someone up.

As far as being on the receiving end , um no that has never crossed my mind. I know who and what I am about. I am not going to let some pissed off Domme tie me down and fuck my ass with a 12 inch strapon that will never happen.

Your kink is just that you can share with me, I will listen to you all day long, but I will never take part in. Nor will I tell you that your wrong or how fucked up you are. You have to live your own life to be happy. Why would someone care what others think? Why would someone seek my approval? You have to be you.

We are all human it does not matter if your gay, lesbian, straight or bi. You have to be you, and you will only be happy if you are you.

I just do not understand the Male switching part when someone is Dominant and they switch to being a submissive, while there submissive watches them submit to someone else.

Switch

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Bettie Page portraying both a submissive and a dominant partner

In BDSM, a switch is someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or (in the case of dominance and submission) sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive. Partners may switch roles based on mood, desire, or to allow each partner to experience their preferred activity. For example, a switch may be in a relationship with someone of the same primary BDSM orientation (e.g., two dominants), but enjoys participating as either orientation, so switching provides each partner with an opportunity to realize his or her BDSM needs.

It is also common for people to switch with different partners, such as when a person acts exclusively as a top with one partner and exclusively as a bottom with another. The act of “switching” may also refer to a spontaneous reversal of roles, initiated by either the bottom or the top. Persons who engage in self-bondage can be viewed as simultaneously taking both roles. There can sometimes be found a lingering prejudice in some local BDSM communities against switches and switching, while at the same time it gains increased acceptance in other local communities. Like bisexuality, identification as a switch is sometimes prejudicially regarded as ‘sitting on the fence‘, or being indecisive, about one’s kink orientation.

Vile

Giving Up Total Control

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, Being fucked, being used, blow job, Chained to the floor, Change, communication, Conform, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Dress Protocol, fucking, Korea, Lie, MAST, Master, Molding, pleasure, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, surrender, Thailand, The Master should adapt, The slave must adapt, Total Slavery, TPE, Train your slave, training your slave on December 29, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not sure if a Submissive is capable of giving up full control, I know a Bottom would not think about doing so. I do think under the right circumstances a Submissive could cross that line into the Slave hood.

I have lived with a few Submissive’s the relationships I knew were not going to work. It was mainly to fill a void at that moment and time. We all need someone, and at times we make mistakes by settling for less.

Maybe if I wanted to really invest time while I was with a submissive things may have turned out different, but I was not feeling that interject. Although you can train someone to fit your needs, if the other is willing.

Once I put my foot down and finely came to realize that I needed more. I stopped fucking around. I cannot tell you how many Slaves or who thought they were Slaves I met. You can tell after the first ten minutes or so if your going to click. Okay we are not clicking so what do I take her home, fuck her and send her on her way, nah we will finish dinner then say hey it was great but lets just stay friends. This is how I programmed my mind. I refused to settle for less . I was going to find the one.

A Submissive or Bottom has the right to say no, and the Dominant has to respect that word. After all his partner is just a submissive and not a Slave. The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary , although she does have the right to speak up when she has a concern and I do value her opinion.

A couple of months ago I was talking to this Daddy Dom at a local Mast group, this is when he told me he was not the type of Dom she needed. He said she was way to needy. I said welcome to the world of BDSM buddy.

Most who are Submissive or Slaves are needy, very needy. This is something you have to except if you wish to be in a relationship. Being needy is not a bad thing nor does it make you any less of a woman. Finding the right one who is able to be there and fill that gap is important.

Just as I told this Daddy Dom, if you really care about your submissive, then you should be able to Adapt. If you really care then you should be able to fill that void. Well she is into pain and I am not. Again if you really care you as a Dominant should want and be able to adapt. You must be willing to put as much into the relationship as your submissive is, if not you will fail.

Think about being a Slave, A Slave who has been looking for sometime, and just running into road blocks, making the wrong connections. I know myself even as a Dominant I would of felt pretty lost, I did while living with those who I was not really into, a very lost feeling.

So a Slave enters her new Masters Home, sits her bad by the door, her life is about to change and change forever. As soon as she closed that door behind her she left all rights on the other side. The slave no longer has any say so. The slave can no longer watch TV when she wants to, cannot shower until told. Told what to wear, Told where she is allowed to sit or where to stand. What time to go to bed. Your sitting at the table working out the final details of what it is going to be like and what is expected. Either you agree or you pick your bag up and walk back out

Most of the time I let Arianna prepare dinner, she will tell me what she wants to cook, although I do not complain about food, because while in Korea and Thailand I ate some pretty fucked up shit, so nothing really taste bad. I may change mine up from time to time. The other night Arianna wanted chicken breast, fine you bake yours I want mine fried. No questions, no buts that is how it was prepared.

I cannot even imagine how a Slave feels once she walks through that door and closes it. The Slave now has to adapt to her new Masters ways. The Slave has to Adapt to rules, Protocols. The slave has to adapt to a brand new environment.

She asked me how will I know what to do. My answer was just watch, listen and observe, and do exactly what your told. I also told her I want you to be able to anticipate my needs, that was a statement she did not understand. She worried about it for months, but everything just fell into place. Today I seldom have to ask for anything because it is already done for me. Watching and Observing.

One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle, as a reference, as I told her from the beginning I would. After that I cut off all the outside world except for her work and family. The trained had begun. Eight months Arianna was not even allowed on the furniture, eight months. Something I need to more often that I did before was feed her. have her set on the floor at the table and feed her as I eat. She loves that feeling, or more so being chained to the table while eating.

Anticipating my needs. I ask Arianna what are you thinking about I do several times a day. I want to know where her thoughts are. A lot of the time she will reply sucking your cock.

Anticipating my needs, my night clothes are out when I get home, water by my bed. drying me off when I step out of the shower. Filling my glass without having to ask. Spreading when told to, it is about my needs.

I was drinking coffee the other day at the kitchen table and I got to thinking I have this fine ass bitch sleeping naked in my bed, I need to hit that. I walked in undressed, crawled on top spread her legs fucked her dumped my load and got off, and she loved it, she loved the fact that I just came in and used her for my pleasure.

Arianna is needy probably the neediest slave I have ever met, but I get so much in return The word needy never really crosses my mind. I knew she was needy when I first met her, I knew she needed to be micromanaged when I first met her. I knew everything upfront, I excepted her and I knew I had to follow through.

I cannot imagine what a Slave would feel like once that door closed. It has to be pretty scary. A very lost feeling, very unsure. I am not sure at what point the reality kicks in, I have never asked arianna that question.

Us as the Dominant there are only a few things we need to do, to make sure the relationship grows. We must stay honest, we must live by the truth, but most of all stay consistent , and we must follow through with what we say. If we do those few things and we stay in line. The Slave will follow, the Slave will drop to their knees without question, the slave will spread without question.

It took sometime for Arianna to stop second guessing me, to stop worrying about things. Today things have change for the most, at times she still wants to second guess, she still worries, I cannot change that so its on her, but I have seen a vast improvement.

Trust does not happen over night, it takes time to build. I am not talking a week a month maybe not even six months. I would imagine it would depend on how many times the slave has been burnt. Trust is everything.

Last but not least. The slave has to know there are consequences to their actions. The slave also has to know you will follow through with any punishment. If you do not follow through as you stated, you the Dominant will begin to lose control, once you lose that control. Kick the dirt and move on because you will not be able to regain.

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Vile

A Few Tips On Money And More

Posted in Advice, Arianna, bdsm, caught, Chat, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Giving strangers money, http://phoenixasubbie.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/phoenix-lies-and-gets-herself-in-trouble/?replytocom=1380#respond, Lie, Lies, Manipulation, Punishment, slave, submissive on December 29, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Meeting someone at times can be very difficult, even more if you are meeting people online. Every day or most every day it seems most of my blog has grown into awareness and safety when it comes to the lifestyle.

The ones who need the advice are the ones who think they do not need it. The new ones who are just entering or thinking they may be submissive.

The same goes for the new Dominant who read 50 shades of grey. Now they know everything about the lifestyle, they know everything there is about the lifestyle. So lets find someone we can tie up and just fuck their brains out, beat their ass and move on.  Even when I have been asked for advice from other Doms, once I start to speak they lose interest fast. I suppose because I go into so much detail.

I was talking to a guy at work yesterday and he was complaining about how much a babysitter was 50.00 dollars a day for two kids, and I am thinking well you know that is really not that much. He kicked his girl friend out who is the mother of the kids. So I asked why don’t you let her move back in. He said well she is a stupid lazy cunt. The bitch will not get a job.

Wow okay , does she take care of the kids? he said yes. Does she cook ? He said yes. Does she clean house ? He said yes. Finely, does she give good head? Yes she does. What the fuck is your problem? The cunt will not get a job> It is a shame a lot of men think this way. Oh why did I bring up the head? Well I believe if your girl, submissive, slave gives good head there is a lot you can look over, that is just me.

Okay that was just a rant I got into I just wanted to make a point not all men think this way but a lot do. What is funny is if they had just a tad more control, and used the control to their advantage, their relationship would flow much smoother. The same thing happens when you try to take short cuts in life, it never works out.

You never get anywhere calling your girl a stupid cunt. That will get you nowhere fast, and here comes the fight, you have been trying to avoid all day but just your words is what started the war. So man up and suck it up, be fucking miserable. Complain everyday about how much your life sucks.

So meeting people can be a task, more so meeting someone you think your compatible with, and in the lifestyle that is not as easy as it seems.

Okay I receive about 200 emails a day, and maybe half are from different blogs. I will admit I cannot go to everyone everyday. I do how ever try and visit each one through out the week. So do not think I am ignoring your blog or I do not care that is not the case.

I take the time to sit and read what I can, work 55 hours a week , then take care of Arianna. My time is spread very thin. Then every now and then one catches my eye and I click on the link. Yesterday I think it was I clicked on Phoenix’s link. It started out

Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble.

http://phoenixasubbie.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/phoenix-lies-and-gets-herself-in-trouble/?replytocom=1380#respond

So I started reading and she had met a man online and she felt the relationship was going in the right direction. They had been talking for a couple of months and he had not put any effort into meeting her, but what he did manage to do was get her to send him 300 dollars. She found out she had been scammed.

To make it worse I suppose she was in a relationship with another Dom, who she lied to and the confessed to sending him money. She was punished which she deserved. If it had been me it would of probably been much worse. At any rate I am going to guess it has not happened again. I am hoping that anyway.

I have seen men do the same thing, a lot of men on Collarme.com. Some girl will email the man, show interest in them. They will say I would love to be your slave but I do not have the money to get to you, can you wire me 500 dollars and I will be your no limit slave for life. Yes there are some really dumb men out there.

I learned a long time ago, if your a helper in life, and you thrive off of helping people, friends or family you will get burnt every time. Because once you start helping then it become expected. You know this is true

You as a human, a submissive a slave, you have to worry about one thing, and that is you, more so if you are single. You have to look out for yourself because no one else will. You can run someone to the store, you can take someone to work, you can take someone to the doctor, but keep your purse closed. You work way to hard to be giving out money, and most likely money you will never see again. Loaning money has ruined many friendships and has caused fights between family’s. You have to put it in your brain it is okay to say NO. You do not need to go into details. You may feel bad for a minute, but you did not cause the mess they are in. You take care of yourself first.

We all make mistakes, the only bad mistakes are the mistakes we make over and over. If you learn from your mistakes you will grow in the right direction.

Arianna use to loan her mother money all the time. She was like a walking ATM. I put a stop to that real fast. I felt she was being taking advantage of because it was expected.

Never give out your real email address. If you do all they have to do is google your email and your whole life pops up. Someone pointed out my real name was in my emails and I had to change it. I don’t want anyone to google my name. I am not ashamed of anything but you google my name then you google BDSM then images and people are visual.

Why would you send a complete stranger nude pictures of yourself, that does not make any sense. When I first met Arianna she sent me tons of pics, but I never asked for a nude one. That takes out all of the excitement, it leaves nothing to the imagination. If he is truly interested in you he would never ask. The same with getting on cam, most do not want to be naked on cam, while some do enjoy it, but for the most I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you do it to please, and to show your submissive.  Why get naked so some dude can jack off, that is all he is doing. If you enjoy phone sex have at it, but only after you meet. You need to be careful with what you share and how much you share at one time. You do not have to submit to anyone until you feel you are ready.

No real Dominant would want to start your training the first time you meet. The first time you meet is just that. You need to take the time to get to know each other.

I know when you first meet someone your excited, after the first fifteen minutes or so your thinking this is the one. Well he is not. Let him show a real interest in you as a person.

The biggest problem with the lifestyle BDSM is people more so men put a sexual label on it. Again it is not just about sex.

BDSM is about communication, structure, rules, protocols, being a couple. The rest just falls into place, then comes the kink, the wild sex, after you have formed a foundation. Phoenix asked me not long ago. How long should you wait? That depends on the person, and what your wanting out of the relationship. I can tell you spreading your legs or sucking cock does not make you submissive, at that point and time it makes you an object, and nothing more.

Bestraining.com has some of the best information on the world wide web, about how a relationship should be. The training process, what a relationship is suppose to be about. I found the Denversubmissive, who has a world of information about his life.  The life of a submissive.

I am a Dominant , well okay what makes you a Dominant? Because I like to be in control, I like bondage, spanking, flogging. Not a word about structure, communication has been mentioned. That does not make a Dominant.

When you first meet someone and you do not fuck on the first or second date your percentage stays pretty high when it comes to forming some type of relationship. If you lay on your back and spread the first time you meet, your percentage has dropped dramatically and chances are that will be your last meeting. There may be a few afterwards but it will be short lived.

I piss a lot of people off, I am guessing it is how open I am. I am straight to the point. If you asked a question, and you wanted to know the truth would you want them to beat around the bush or just tell you like it is..

A lot could be avoided if we just took a second to think. I will tell you this and I truly believe it. over 95% of our problems are self inflicting, mostly by trying to take short cuts or not listening to your brain.

If you are not in a long term relationship, more so if you have never met the guy, don’t give him any money. His problems are not your problems, and chances are your not the only one who has or is giving him money.

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Vile

Punishing

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, cage, caged for punishment, punish, Punishment, Spanking, Speaking In Thirds on December 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

All punishments should be talked about before hand. I believe before any type of punishment there should be a cooling off period.

When the Dominant is going to punish it must be made clear why he is going to punish, and what the consequences are for the rule that was broken.

If I want to get my point across or punish I have had Arianna speak in thirds, this really made her think.

Some forms of punishment can range from spanking, to humiliation, cage confinement. You can take something away for a period of time, or the almighty silent treatment which I do not use myself.

The punishment must be talked about, why you are punishing and what you expect in the future, more important what the submissive is going to do to correct the problem. Maybe the Dominant can help in the future as well.

Here is a quote from the Denversubmissive  the post comes from http://www.denversub.com/bdsm.html

Few Dominants are willing to invest the emotional psychological commitment needed for punishment to help the submissive work through the cause of the disobedience and the intense aftermath.   Real punishment belongs within the context of a strong relationship whether that be a close friend or lover/spouse.   Punishment does not occur with a stranger.   For many submissives/slaves, a D/s relationship without real accountability and punishment is not a real D/s relationship.

I love that quote I love it even more coming from another submissive. So this is just not my opinion but the opinion of a submissive as well.

I hope You learn something.

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Vile

Training Your Submissive Or Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Bond, chat room, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dating, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, Drama, Dress Protocol, etiquette, Face Fucking, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, molding your slave, munchs, owning a slave, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, Submission, submissive on December 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is many Dominants do not want to put the time or effort into building a D’s or M’s relationship if they are not going to be 24/7. Although I have seen some who do not live together and it works out just fine.

This is the hard part because I was going to say the Submissive or Slave has to be honest about everything. The Newly found Dominant must know everything. There is a fine line with what you want to share, with someone you just met. What ever reason the submissive just wants to run off at the mouth and give their whole life story during the first meeting,

I had sex at a young age, I was raped, I was molested. I have been abused in past relationship. I suffer from depression and I am on these meds the list goes on and on.

In the beginning you want to start of with the basics. What type of work you do, what kind of music you like, all foods you like, any hobbies you might have. I was asked recently on what the time limits should be before the two have sex. Well there is really no time limit it is what you feel and if it feels right then go for it. If the Dominant knows nothing of the above and it starts out sexual, then that is all you will have.

Also if you have any Drama in your life you need to clean it up before entering a new relationship. The same goes with the Dominant, no Drama, and no problems with Ex’s

If you meet online and your chatting, and within the first twenty minutes your asked if you swallow or do you take it up the ass, then just hit the X button and move on. It is clear what he is looking for.

In the world of BDSM a D’s or M’s relationship you have a mixture you have the Vanilla side then you have the D’s or M’s side, but you have to have both to make it work.

Arianna was telling me about a Dominant she was seeing out of state, their whole relationship was based On M’s and nothing more. He took her out maybe three time in 6 months or so, and it always ended up in a argument. The Vanilla was missing, not to mention he never fucked her well a couple of times. She was there mainly to clean house, and be in shackles all day, while he was on his laptop looking for another Slave to add to the family.

I however do commend him on doing the searching, most Dominant place such a task on the submissive, which is very wrong. The Dominant is the one in most cases who wants another, the submissive will just go along with the idea. So he puts the task on the submissive and has her post her pictures instead of his. I wonder why this is?

It takes time to get to know each other, you cannot learn everything over one dinner date. Remember the Vanilla thing. I know your anxious and you want things to happen now, yesterday. You need to just chill, and think with a clear mind.

The Dominant however will lay out his plans on training and what he expects out of a relationship. This is your cue do you stay or do you go? Can you meet his needs? Can you comply with his standards ? This is the time you decide.

You being the submissive you can negotiate the terms of the relationship. Your not a Slave, so this is your right. You can put the what I will do and what I will not do on the table. The Dominant will either agree or he will not.

Remember not all women like or enjoy Anal sex, or being face fucked. You may not be into humiliation, or hard impact play. More important you may not want to be shared as many Dominants will do, and be proud of it. Pass you around like a piece of meat.So it is very important you are honest and upfront about what you will and will not do. If you are no Bi and do not wish to take part make it clear this is a hard limit.

You the submissive has the power to negotiate the terms of the relationship. The Slave does not how every have that right. The Slave will either feel they can be compatible or she is not able to comply with the Masters needs.

With the Slave it is yes I can or no I cannot. When a Master or Dominant is looking for a Slave he is looking for something very specific, he knows what he wants and needs. Like me I refused to bend. To me a relationship was more important than just a piece of ass. Getting pussy or my dick sucked was not hard to find, but finding someone I was compatible with was extremely hard. If I just wanted pussy you would come over spread and then you leave. Why because there was nothing there.  Before you get all bent out of shape, this was all in the open before hand so both of us new what to expect. Lynn who I saw for almost a year until she got nutty, it was just about sex and nothing more. I knew there would never be a relationship and she knew the same thing. I had it made come over Friday night and leave Sunday morning. At that time it was perfect, but I started losing interest because I needed more. I stopped enforcing rules and protocols and we slowly fell apart.

So your Newly Found Dominant will start out by giving you protocols and he must be consistent with enforcing. He will give you rules to follow. Now when you first meet, he cannot possibly give you rules to follow because he knows nothing of you. Lets say we have a five day getting to know each other period. Maybe he can give you one or two the first meeting such as Bed time, or a time to email or text, I would think that would be acceptable.

I re-posted yesterday about protocols many of them I use on a daily basis but most of them I did not. Using protocols are a mind set. a type of mind modification the way you think or act public or private. The way you speak, the way you walk. The way you greet others , who you may greet and who you may not.

If we are out and another Dominant tries to give Arianna a hug she is to extend her hand, and a Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any time should know that hugging someone slave is just a big fucking NO.

If your relationship does not have any protocols then go back and read what I posted pick and choose or make your own, use on a daily basis. You will see in a short time your thoughts on submission will begin to change.

Rules, Rules are meant for self improvement, for the betterment of you the Submissive or slave. Arianna has 25 that I set, but she added a few more of her own to help keep her in check. Every night before bed she reads them, unless directed by me not to. What is more impressive is after a year she can share them aloud and not have to read them. That was her choice not something I demanded.

If you have friends, then you should be allowed to keep them, you should be allowed to see your family, call and text with everyone. You should not have to give out your passwords to any of your accounts. This is an ego problem and it should not be excepted. We all need some privacy and there are parts of our lives that should be left alone. If a Dominant demands your passwords, then he is probably insecure or has a major ego problem.

The training is not hard, and you can enjoy it as well. It will be hard if your heart is not in it. It can be more hard if your with someone your really not happy with. The deeper you get into your training the more submissive you will feel.

You also have to take in mind if there is any type of public training. Again what you will do and will not do, no one wants to go to jail. You also have to think of your career as well, being known, being seen. What you are comfortable wearing in public, again what is except able and what is not. You as the submissive has the right to set the pace of the relationship. You are a submissive not a slave.

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