Do You Have To Be Submissive Before You Can Be Dominant

This is something I have heard for some time now. You cannot be Dominant unless you have been submissive. I find that most who make that comment are those who switch.The other statement is, how can you control a submissive if you have never been submissive. To each their own I just do not follow this train of thought. I am not saying your way of thinking is wrong because it is not. Your way of thinking is just that.

There are women who are submissive who are able and like to switch, but I have never met a slave who would even think of switching. A slave is not wired that way.

I know if Arianna was to see me submit to someone else, she would be gone. Number one reason would be I am not the Dominant I told her I was, but the most important thing would be, she could no longer respect me.

We all have our kinks, we all have our needs, I do not judge anyone by the way they live their life. I may not understand but hey if it cranks your tractor go for it.

I have stated before there is a huge difference between Master and Slave, and Dominant and submissive, or Daddy Dom and baby girl. The dynamics of each and every relationship is so different.

In the last couple of years there has been a few Masters who have just blown my mind, those who switched and I never saw that part in them, while their slave was not able nor did they want to switch.

I myself have never been on the receiving end , and you have a better chance in seeing the sea part before you see me submit to someone. The idea I do not understand my slave because I have never been submissive is just a fucked up statement. I am not sure about others, but I do understand my slave, I understand her feelings, I understand her needs. I know her inside , out.

Although, on the wild side, if I have done something to a slave out of the ordinary , I have probably done it to myself. A good example I was with a slave who got off on needles. I had never done any needle play before, so I experimented on myself. I got nothing out of it, but I was able to fulfill a need. the Tens Unit, I have tried on myself, Chinese cupping the same, the violet wand.

If there was something I did not know how to do and wanted to try. Then I find someone who knew how to do and got them to show me. You never go in blind, because you can really fuck someone up.

As far as being on the receiving end , um no that has never crossed my mind. I know who and what I am about. I am not going to let some pissed off Domme tie me down and fuck my ass with a 12 inch strapon that will never happen.

Your kink is just that you can share with me, I will listen to you all day long, but I will never take part in. Nor will I tell you that your wrong or how fucked up you are. You have to live your own life to be happy. Why would someone care what others think? Why would someone seek my approval? You have to be you.

We are all human it does not matter if your gay, lesbian, straight or bi. You have to be you, and you will only be happy if you are you.

I just do not understand the Male switching part when someone is Dominant and they switch to being a submissive, while there submissive watches them submit to someone else.

Switch

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Bettie Page portraying both a submissive and a dominant partner

In BDSM, a switch is someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or (in the case of dominance and submission) sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive. Partners may switch roles based on mood, desire, or to allow each partner to experience their preferred activity. For example, a switch may be in a relationship with someone of the same primary BDSM orientation (e.g., two dominants), but enjoys participating as either orientation, so switching provides each partner with an opportunity to realize his or her BDSM needs.

It is also common for people to switch with different partners, such as when a person acts exclusively as a top with one partner and exclusively as a bottom with another. The act of “switching” may also refer to a spontaneous reversal of roles, initiated by either the bottom or the top. Persons who engage in self-bondage can be viewed as simultaneously taking both roles. There can sometimes be found a lingering prejudice in some local BDSM communities against switches and switching, while at the same time it gains increased acceptance in other local communities. Like bisexuality, identification as a switch is sometimes prejudicially regarded as ‘sitting on the fence‘, or being indecisive, about one’s kink orientation.

Vile

8 Responses to “Do You Have To Be Submissive Before You Can Be Dominant”

  1. I agree. There are some things I try on myself before doing it to Princess so I can feel and understand how it feels, what it does knowing it will be different for her of course.

  2. I do the same thing with certain toys, trying them out on myself first. When I wanted to use a flogger I sought people out at the local club, asked questions, watched how they used them. They were most willing to assist me, told me all about them what to look for in one, how to handle they different types.
    I even taught all that to Kayla, why? So if ever there would come a time she would know if someone were using it wrong.

    If I remember my history correctly it is the Old Guard where everyone starts off as a submissive and then as you move through the ranks (for lack of a better term) you work your way up to being a Dominant.
    To just switch mid track though I just don’t see it for me.

  3. Rules, Rules, Rules…The Old Guard remains unchanged, which is cool for them. I really enjoy your blog, but I beg to differ as far as my own circumstances.
    I am at heart, a pervert, for lack of a better word this early in the morning…I enjoy breaking all the rules and changing all the paradigms as often as possible, as long as it suits my inclination.
    I do not judge.
    I am strong enough in my own understanding of the way my psyche works, and I am not inclined to follow anyone else’s dictates.
    My temporary surrender is a choice, an alternative, and a vacation, if you will.
    My sub is not just a sub, and by no means a slave. She is a co-conspirator, and an equal. She does not NEED a dom. She just likes what I do when I do it, and vice-versa.
    This, for us is not a lifestyle, but a diversion, but that does not mean it isn’t real when it is happening.
    I have written several pieces on this subject. For us, this is all about role-playing, which is at best, only a temporary identity.
    In this respect, we are impostors imitating the trained professionals. By doing what you do, you provide stimulii and inspiration, which helps us achieve great joy.
    I know all too well what it is like for someone’s Life to be in my hands; everything after that is just play, no matter how real.
    I find your words to be insightful and fascinating, and really enjoy your blog, so ‘though we may agree to disagree, you have my unilateral respect. Keep up the good works.
    So much for the dissenting opinion.
    Respectfully,
    Chazz Vincent

  4. littlebopeep12 Says:

    A switch? Not me, not ever. Not even in my earliest or darkest fantasies, before I even knew what dominant or submssive meant. My Sir, who has done a lot of things, with a lot of people, has never been a catcher either. That would end it for me. I’m not judging, if that’s someone’s kink, then go for it. I could not submit to a switch though, and if I found out afterwards, I’d exit the relationship, period.

  5. Totally agree. While I respect others kinks, I can’t wrap my own brain around it. Sir once asked me to wield the flogger on Him so He might better know what it felt like to me. It felt so awkward in my hand that I’m sure He got no real impression of what it feels like. After 2 or 3 halfhearted swipes, I handed it back to Him explaining I had no ability to do so. We both got a chuckle out of it, knowing both our true natures.

  6. phoenixasubbie Says:

    I tried my hand at switching a couple years back. It was a colossal failure. I felt ridiculous and l couldnt respect him.
    I could no sooner be a duck than a domme

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