Poly: Not just about wanting another cracker…MAsT: Daytona Beach 2/7/2014 7:00 PM
During some recent meetings, the subject of “poly” (polyamory) came up – bringing about some very passionate responses… So let’s go there & explore this part of the lifestyle.
Most of us grew up with the conditioning, maybe indoctrination, of the seemingly indisputable truth that a relationship can only consist of 1 +1 = 1.
And yet, somewhere, somehow that desired exclusivity can be so restrictive – denying the possibility of inclusion, of allowing others into the realm of your “exclusive” relationship potential.
Can a “poly” configuration/household be sustainable?
“The point for me is to create relationships based on deeper and more real notions of trust. So that love becomes defined not by sexual exclusivity, but by actual respect, concern, commitment to act with kind intentions, accountability for our actions, and a desire for mutual growth.” ~~ Dean Spade
Please join us for what is sure to be an interesting discussion.
This was my response about the meeting and the topic.
I believe Poly can work under the right circumstances. I also believe it has to be an agreement on all three’s part.
I see poly as three living together and each one brings something to the table. I believe the third would be there to help the Alpha, they should become best friends, enjoy going out together. Sisters if you will.
The third has to know there is a number one, and the other slave will always be number two.
Moving into a poly relationship, once the Master has found another slave, the two slaves should become friends first and for most. Once the bond has formed then and only then would I consider taking the relationship to the next level.
Each has their own definition when it comes to poly. I see it as the same with the TV show Three’s Company just kinkier.
The second is there to assist the first, make the load a little lighter. Giving to the house, meaning pay their share of the bills, and food.
I see things differently but I do not judge others, as I should not be judged.
We are all different that is what makes the lifestyle so unique . We are able to be who and what we are.
Leticia brought up the subject this am about the possibility of bringing a third into the picture. Which I had never thought for a minute she would be open nor have I ever brought it up.
That is the communication we have she knows she can come to me with anything. So now I am thinking.
What would it benefit , how would it benefit Leticia? What would she get out of it ?
As a Master and Owner we should look at these things. What will our Slave get out of having a third ?
Okay I will stop I could go on and on
Those are my thoughts on the subject.
Every Dominant is different , Every Master is different , and every Owner is different. I consider myself a Master and Owner. I am a Master Because that is how Arianna Addresses me , that was her choice. I am an Owner because I own Arianna.
I know I have spoken about Poly relationships before. Arianna has been in a poly relationship before, and it did not work. I have been in a poly relationship before and for 7 years it worked, but the third thought she was going to be number one and I kindly showed her the door.
Arianna has met three different Dominants who are either poly or want to be, and she see’s clearly what the difference’s are between all three, and she has no interest in the way their relationships are ran.
As every morning after our morning coffee at 3.40am and I see her off to work, she calls and we talk. This has been every morning for a year and a half, WOW time fly’s when your having fun..
At times our conversations get pretty deep, and intense, and others we just talk about anything and everything. This am kinda caught me off guard. She brought up the subject about living poly. I almost spit my coffee out.
Last year we went up to Tennessee to visit my parents, my dad is getting older and not doing so well these days. We were going to a park to go inside a cave and Arianna made the statement out of the blue. Your the first man I have ever met who did not think with his cock. Where in the fuck did that come from ? She meant our relationship was not based on sex, from the beginning. I will explain where I am going with this.
Some slaves except the fact that their Master needs different flavors. Maybe one slave is not a masochist but everything is going well. So the Master will search for a masochist. The variations can differ but you get the picture.
Some men just have the need to fuck other women. I am not here to judge anyone we all have our kinks. We all have different needs.
While I was in my search for a Slave, I wanted the whole picture. I wanted all or nothing. I refused to settle for less. I found her and life has been unreal , I could not ask for anything better. Arianna is and always will be the love of my life.
So it took me over a year to find the one as most of you already know so I am not going to harp on the subject. If you ever settle for less it will never work.
So to bring a third in that would take a great deal of thought, and the search begins once again. It could take sometime or maybe not it would just depend.
Many Dominants have their slave look for other women. Many Doms who do look post pics of their slave, while searching for another slave. I find that to be exploiting your slave, and it is something I do not agree with.
If the slave has an interest in bringing another into the relationship, then the Master or owner should do the search. Once a prospective slave has been found. The Dominant steps out of the picture for sometime.
This is the beginning stages for the two slaves to be allowed to come together. This is the time they will spend finding out if they have anything in common. This is their time to start to build a friendship. Then and only then should the three sit down and start to work things out.
You as the Dominant should not bring in anyone who is going to make your slave feel threatened. Its like your bringing in another female cat when you already have one. It takes time for the two to get to know each other.
If another Slave is brought into the home it should be to benefit the first slave, not the master. After all the two have to be able to get along. To bring in another slave against the first slaves wishes is not right and it could do a lot of damage.
So the two have to become friends. Then they also have to be compatible , and be attracted to each other, in a sexual way and none sexual way, or maybe neither are bi. That is a possibility as well.
The slave would have to be willing to adapt, the other slave would have to be willing to go through the same training. Follow the same rules and protocols. The other slave would have to know she is the third but would be treated as an equal.
The three have to function as a family. You go out to eat together, movies , theme parks, vacations . The three function as one. Each slave would have different task within the home, and out of the home. The third must remain loyal at all times.
Poly should be about benefiting the slave. These are just my thoughts and my own opinion.
Then sex, all of this is talked out before hand. is sex allowed with someone no present. I do not think that should be allowed and I would not permit.
Poly can be a good thing and it can work. It can also be beneficial during today’s times, now you have three checks and not just two. Everyone contributes to the house.
Three’s Company can be good if the Master’s head is in the right place, and he does not just base everything off of pussy and getting his cock sucked.
Turn it around and let a Slave or Submissive ask the Dominant t if she can bring in another Male, yea see how far that gets you. The book is much different.
The relationship cannot be based off of sex, the picture is much bigger.