I Could Of Fucked Her

BDSM has changed as well, the people, the respect everything. More so the younger generation. I just googled BDSM clicked on images and nothing but pain and torture. People are visual,it does not matter what you read , who you talk to, its all about being visual.

I remember the first time I left Sherri’s house I was scared to death, she was black and blue from the neck down from and back. She got off while I was just terrified. After that day though something clicked, the more control I had, the more pain I could inflict the harder I got. During sessions I am talking sessions that lasted hours, there had been times I had actually came, and came hard, just off of impact play.Seven years and she did not cry one time, until the day came and I said goodbye.In that relationship Humiliation was a huge part of her kicks, at first mine but as time went by it was more like a job, I had to out do each session.That is the past, maybe at times we reflect on the past to much and it does not allow us to move forward.

We all have thoughts, and it is good to have memories , but that is what they are just memories, some were good some were bad.Over the years the Sadist part of me seemed to slip away, or maybe I just truly wanted more out of a relationship. I can tell you the vanilla mistake I made, was just that a mistake. What was the hardest was having to live two different lives. Although I remained loyal during that ever so shocking adventure, and it was so not me. Because there were times I just wanted to let loose, but I would of never disrespected her in that manner.

Going from using a Masochist to a vanilla marriage puts one in shock. What the fuck did I just do, and I knew it was a mistake. I knew from the first time I went to her house and it was trashed. I refused to live in a dirty home, it was not like filthy it was just cluttered papers piled everywhere just fucking cluttered.What else is odd is to be in a relationship for seven years and never fucking, that was while with sherri. Unless face fucking counts, that was almost daily. I think if we would of had sex that would of put me on a much different emotional playing field and I did not want to be that close. While she did have rules I seldom enforced them . I did not care because I was getting off. The Fisting part is what was incredible, she was my first.I remember the first time I laid her on the coffee table and told her to spread and my hand just slipped in, I closed my fist and I just started pounding her. I could open my hand and feel all around and I could make her stomach move.Today I enjoy fisting but it is not a need like it was then. Then it was a new experience , it was taboo to me, everything with her was taboo.

As I grew older the more control I needed, as I grew older the more in control I was. As I grew older I became aware of my surroundings. I started observing people more, and trying to figure them out. Wondering what their home life was about. Wondering if they harbored a deep secret like I did.When out I felt kinda like a freak show, because of being so different. While at the mall in the food court eating I would look at different women, and imagine different ways of tying them up, and using every hole. Or what it would be like to face fuck them, to humiliate them, to take them down as low as I could, get my nut and just walk away as if nothing had happened.

I was the guy who would walk up to the women other men were afraid to, being afraid I mean being rejected. I have always had standards , and I always set them high, because I refused to fuck someone I did not want to wake up next to. So I suppose when it came to fucking someone I never settled for less.

I remember one time I was at a convenience store visiting a friend, and this woman walked in, I was like fuck me , she was fucking hot, maybe 5.0ft even ,long dark brown hair, fakes tits. She was wanting to know if we knew anyone who sold pot, she said her husband was in their truck past out. As we were talking I told her I might know someone but I had to call in private so I walked in the stock room and she followed. I made a call , I hung up and I put my flip phone back in my pocket and I just looked at her. I walked closer to her  and she was backing up I did not say a word I just looked into her eyes. Once she was against the wall, I wrapped my hand around her throat and kissed her for what seemed like for ever. While kissing my other hand was down her shorts banging her pussy with my hand three fingers deep. After I finished kissing her , I pushed her down to her knees and I took my cock out and it slipped into her mouth and I just started fucking, it took all of a minute for me to blow my load. Once finished she got up and said in this little country accent, No man has ever treated my that way. I gave her the number to my friend and told her when her husband woke up show him what you like.To stop everything all she would of had to say is no or stop, and I would of apologized, but I could read her from the second she walked in. I didn’t want to fuck her I just wanted or needed that control.

Then the stuck up bitches , until 5 or 6 years ago I would work at a shell station during events to help out and make some extra cash Arianna has met the owner of the store before. Anyway This girl Sarah would come in every night and buy one beer Coors. Then a week went by and she did not come in. The following week Sarah came back in and I greeted her, then I said there is something different about you. I said ahhh you got a boob job, she made the comment I was not to worry I would never get the chance to touch them. So I closed my eyes and I started moaning, then I stopped. She said what the fuck are you doing. Well Sarah I have a very vivid imagination and I just fucked you and you were by far the worst piece of ass I had ever had, so I do not want to touch them. I never saw her again.That was how open I was, and yes those are true story’s.

Being a Dominant for any period of time it is so easy to spot the submissive women. I have point out a few to Arianna but she just laughs, little does she know.As I grew older I needed more. I needed more control but there were very few who could give up the control I needed. BDSM is much like a drug, the more you learn about it, the more you take part, the more you converse about it the more you need.There was never a shortage of pussy, it was finding women who did not use it as a tool , so they could get their way.

I wanted to have it my way.A year and a half before I met Arianna, I got up at 3.30 am, turned on the coffee pot waited, poured a cup went back to the bedroom, I was watching the morning news and I started thinking, Vile what the fuck are you doing. You are 48 years old and your waking up alone, that is fucked up. You come home to two dingy roommates . What kind of life is that?So while at work I began to put a list together, A list of what I wanted out of a relationship. The type of slave I wanted to have a life with. A slave who would want to follow. A slave who had no rights. A slave who would want to drop to their knees because it was a need, or spread because it was a need to please. A slave who wanted to communicate,

A slave who was smart, beautiful and intelligent. A list I was not going to give in, just so I could get some pussy.So I met Arianna, we talked for hours, even after I told her what I needed she did not flinch. I had pretty much figured out what she needed, but I was thinking what the fuck she has needs to, do I really want to do this. Just by talking to her and with out her giving out to much information. I had figured out she was being used, your whole life was out of control, she needed micromanagement, she needed someone to take her by the neck and say stop. Did I really want to invest that much time? I had to think about it for a day or so.Okay she is beautiful, her smile is one to kill for, she has a body built for sin, an ass to die for, each cheek just fits in the palm of my hand, small but firm breast, just fucking wow. The first time she got out of her car, blood rushed down to my cock so fast I got dizzy.There had to be more to the relationship than just sex, I needed so much more. I was in the process of moving to the Philippines , I had already made up my mind. I had a job lined up. I was going to start over.
I was going to start fresh, but something inside me clicked, just like the first click in my life. I was thinking maybe just maybe this will work, but I will have to put a long term plan together, a plan that I had to stick to, and I knew I had to remain consistent or I would loose.The first time she wrapped her lips around my cock I knew I had her, more so the first time I crawled between her legs, and I wrapped my hand around her throat, and I started to fuck her, I looked in her eyes and said I am going to own you. That statement proved to be correct, because I did everything in my power, my years of knowledge, and experience I had gained within the lifestyle, everything that I had learned, and for once I was putting it towards good use. I was finely using what I had learned over the years. I can tell you this believe it or not. If I want something bad enough, Vile always wins. If your just a passing thought that is what you are or were a passing thought. I never lose.

Image The key is to give back as much as you take, sometimes you as the Dominant has to give back much more. In the end though you can have anything you want, without question.

Vile

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