Moving From A Vanilla To A D’s Relationship
This is a task that is not really an easy thing to do, but it can be done. In orders to move into a whole new world there are somethings the Dominant has to do.
The first being a huge change of attitude. The Dominant has to demonstrate he is in full control. The attitude has to change a full 360 degrees. This is more true if the two have problems arguing.
A woman will not submit to a Dominant or any male if he cannot control his temper. Second we do not always have to be right. Although I am not wrong that often I do make mistakes. I think things out before acting and when something goes wrong, I am like what the fuck how did that happen, because I have covered all of the choices and of course the consequences.
Being in full control is the key. Communication with your partner. You would need to introduce things slowly. Maybe share a few story’s, maybe a site you have stumbled across. Slowly introduce some lite Bondage. See if your partner is willing to participate in other types of play.
Remember you cannot take submission it has to be giving, you have to earn it. You cannot demand that someone respects you, again you have to earn.
The easiest way to earn someones submission is for the Dominant to be able to show control. If you blow up and get angry your spouse or girlfriend is going to do the same thing and you have gained nothing.
You want to make your home as stress free as you can. You want to make your home as Drama free as you can. Leaving work at work is a good place to start.
If you have friends who are full of drama then it is time to cut ties with them. Their problems are not your problems. I have had to cut off even the best of friends because of all the drama, I do not roll like that.
Your control will mean everything. You can be married and love each other but still not have that total respect thing going on.
Controlling your temper, thinking before you speak. Think about what your going to say before speaking, you may want to re-word it.
Although advice from others may work and work well, you have to be the one to define exactly what you want and need. Every D’s or M’s home is different, every Dominant and submissive or slave is different. You have to define how you want your house to be ran.
Talking to your spouse or girlfriend about your thoughts, try to get a feel if they would maybe try and venture into that type of lifestyle.
Now the Hidden dangers. If you are able to persuade your better half into venturing into the world you want, and she agrees. Now you have to stay with it. If she is truly a submissive and you guide her in the direction you want, and you stop, it make of become a need for her. If you cannot fulfill that need any longer , guess what happens. You wake up alone because she will find someone who will.
If the world of BDSM is just a fantasy leave it as that. If you are serious and that is the life you want it can be a beautiful thing. The lifestyle can be very rewarding.
Other Dominants here on wordpress may have different views, maybe different ideas, or they may think I am nuts. This is just my opinion, and only my opinion.
Good luck in your travels.