Our Search For Poly And Our Thoughts

I know in the beginning I made the statement that Arianna and I were totally against the idea when it came to poly. As we grow we change, and while it still may not be what we need we are seriously exploring the idea.

So what is the idea behind our thinking when it comes to being poly. We have talked for hours about this, and this is what we have come up with.

In the lifestyle for what ever reason it is hard for other subs or slaves to find true friends. It is even more hard to find someone who is not full of drama.  When you meet someone you do not really know them until you meet in person.

Arianna has met several from our past meetings at the Local MasT meetings, and thought they would be able to form a nice friendship. Well after having a lunch a couple of time, the bucket of drama and problems just role out, and we are just not that kind of couple.

So our idea is now to find someone who would be happy living in a poly situation. To become part of the family. Someone who could and would become Arianna’s best friend. Go shopping together, the movies, walks downtown here. We have a very nice small town, it resembles something out of the 50’s or 60’s. All kinds of little shops, places to eat which I enjoy.

I do know we are not looking for a Slave, we would or I would prefer someone who is submissive or I might even consider a Daddy’s girl, but in no way am I ready to take on another slave, unless she already had some experience or truly knew that she is a slave.

Although there would be rules and protocols, it would not be on the level that Arianna is on, again way to much work. We would also prefer someone who is not bi sexual, but you never know things happen.

We would function as a family if we were to go out we would go out as a family, including vacations. You have to include everyone, no one can be left out.

The idea is to make feel safe and secure, and more so wanted. As with any relationship communication plays a huge part, so that is a must.

Also behind the idea is to take some of the load off of Arianna, to help around the house, cooking , cleaning, laundry and errands.

We had started communicating with a Baby Girl but that fell apart pretty fast, next time I will be more careful before introducing to Arianna, she gets attached pretty easy.  I really think is was just some kind of a game, maybe not.

This has been devastating to her when meeting people who she thinks they are going to be good friends, in the end it just causes hurt.

So if you have read the above, and you understand what I have been saying. You will see it is not about me. I have mentioned nothing about how I would benefit in such a relationship. It is true it is about Arianna.

We have not hammered out the sleeping situations but my train of thought would be a king size bed, so we have been looking at bigger houses, or maybe a second bedroom. I think it would be somewhat unfair to ask another to sleep alone, or maybe it would just work out that way, who knows.

As I stated you cannot make anyone left out, Although Arianna would be number one, you have to make both feel equal. That is very important.

It is understood we would need time apart, we all need our own space. Having breathing room is very important.

The one thing that is a must who ever it is would have to be 100% loyal , no exceptions. We do have a lot to offer another submissive. A stable home, structure, no fighting, or arguing, and the true feeling of being part of a home, loved and cared for.

Just my thoughts I will be adding more I am sure as we go along.

Vile

13 Responses to “Our Search For Poly And Our Thoughts”

  1. That’s the life. Lovely.

  2. Garrick's Kitten Slave Says:

    Hugs to Arianna as I know how lonely it can be to not have another Babygirl to socialize with. Living here in Central Texas I sometimes feel like I am on a dessert island. I am blessed to have a best friend (Mookie) who is in the life style but in NC.

    When my little side is out I want someone to go to the movies with (had to see Frozen alone), go shopping who won’t look at my silly when I giggle and squeal over shiny things or grab their hand to go skipping from one store to the next.

    Your ideal of Poly is a lot better than I’ve hear others in your situation explain it so I think the babygirl that you find will be lucky indeed. However Arianna is your ever over by Austin give me a call!!!

  3. Not that you asked for opinions, Vile, but nooooo!!! Arianna is just so special and you two do have an ideal love. I know she will find friends in or outside of the lifestyle who aren’t drama, judgmental, who are trustworthy, who can relate to and appreciate her as she is, who she also can have fun with. But it does take time and patience.

    We’re not in the community and have no desire to be. I read your blog honestly because I want to be a better wife and although my husband accepts me as I am, I still want to be better for him and need inspiration on how I can be. Hence, your blog. 🙂

    But I know that if I lived by Arianna, I would totally want to be her friend. Because let’s face it, most women do want to please their partners no matter how that plays out for them and there are women who would support and respect Arianna for the choices she made and continue to make.

    I now only have friends who adore their husbands. Period. Thats a friendship deal breaker for me. Seriously. I used want someone who is politically like me or who goes to the same church, etc. But you’re right, people and priorities do change. And the community that one feels most comfortable can change too.

    I just don’t see how a third entity would enhance your relationship. Unless that third one is a baby. 😉 Can you imagine having a cute little mini-Vile running around the house reeking havoc? Wait, maybe that just made the case for a Poly. Lol. Best wishes in this journey.

    • Thank you for your comment. Nothing is in stone as of yet.
      Arianna goes through little phases. It is my duty to support her but also to give her honest objections.

      I speak at a lot of events, mainly on safety, but here of late people are astonished when they hear about our relationship.
      That I do not understand, either you are submissive or your not either your a slave or your not.
      Either you respect your Man or you do not. If you have read enough you know I am against men who step outside of their marriage, yea women as well, but I think women step out for different reasons.
      If men really knew their wife or girlfriend and they cared enough to read their emotions for the most infidelity could be stopped.
      There are not many men who want to devote such time. Soon after being married the wife becomes a mother figure.
      Wow I got off topic.
      As I stated nothing is written in stone.
      Her little phases include a sun conure bird, a small parrot , a 20 gallon fish tank and now a 60 gallon fish tank. Which I support all and I help.
      As you know at times one can feel over whelmed so I prevent that from happening.
      I am glad your husband excepts you for who you are that is very important.
      If more women put more into their relationship maybe some of the straying would stop, eh maybe.
      Thank you for stopping in.
      If there is every anything you would like me to blog about just hit me up on here.
      I do not know all the answers but hearing it from someone else does help sometimes .
      Much Love

  4. I hope that Your newfound poly interests have been as beneficial to you as they are to me!! 🙂 it’s hard work. Daddy has two baby girls and I’m afraid we tend to be needy. ^_^ but I hope a beta sister will love and care for Arianna as much as I love and care for my alpha sister! 🙂 fingers crossed You two find a good beta sub!! 🙂

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