Poly Vs Triad

The word Triad just hit me like a rock. Arianna was looking at different groups on fetlife and pointed a couple out to me and the word Triad came up.

So in the past when I spoke about me living in a poly relationship that was not correct, we were poly. When Chong brought up the idea I was totally against it, but after hearing her thoughts on it I finely agreed, then came Beth. We did not get along to well at all. Although she followed my rules you could still tell there was tension. Beth was for Chong. They were like sisters, they done everything together, shopping, movies, flea markets, they were inseparable.

In six months time I guess I had not spoken a dozen words to beth she just yanked my chain wrong, but I tolerated her because it was a need for Chong.

As time went by we became closer , but she still got on my nerves, and then finely I guess after a year we became friends, but we never had sex, and I will explain why.

Chong who stood barely 5ft tall and weighed about 100lbs, beth was somewhere between 5 ‘5 and 5 ‘ 6 and around 145 or so kinda thick. Very beautiful, long blonde hair, dark tan,she has an awesome build,  but there was something that just irked me.

Sometime went by going into the 5th year Beth started to warm up to me, and that irked me even more, I remember telling her several times if she would shut up it would do the world a favor.

Then came the time where she started to stir the pot, she started to blame small stuff on chong, but I saw right through her, now all of a sudden Beth wanted to be number one. The happiest day was when I was waving goodby to her, hoping she was driving to Alaska then catching a boat and ending up somewhere in Siberia getting a job ice fishing or something.

So we never fucked although seeing her run around the house nude all the time, I was missing something, and that was the connection. I was never able to connect with her , I am speaking on all levels.

If I cannot make that connection nothing will happen. That includes even having a session. I have tried and have been willing to try again but just could never follow through. That is why I just cannot have sex with just anyone, I have to have that connection. It is not something I can explain, but something clicks.

So now the Triad thing , before I got divorced there was a couple that lived across the street well three. A man and two women, my ex wife had been over talking to them and found out the couple had been married for 15 years and the other woman had been with them for 8 yrs. They were loyal to each other, no one stepped out of their circle. They were happy and content, if they went anyplace it was all three with the exception of work. Even doing yard work all three were outside. So that worked.

Triad is three living together like poly in the BDSM world but they are closed to anyone else, there is no sharing. You work as one, a team. So I believe if anything was to take place it would be more of a Triad. I have not made up my mind as of yet, I am still putting everything together in my head. The two main things you have to look at is choices and consequences. What is the good and the bad ? How can it help and how could it be bad.

Poly on the other hand in the lifestyle is a wide open door. In the lifestyle I am not even sure if there is a definition for poly, because it branches off in so many areas. Being poly in many cases does not mean you are loyal to anyone person, and in most cases the poly family does not even live together.

The people I know in the local community here have a revolving door, submissive’s and slaves come and go. I find that it is almost impossible to form any type of family unity.

Even at MasT meeting I am very vocal about what I believe in, and at times I am sure I even offend some, but I am going to me and live the way I want not the way people think I should. I may not agree with the way someone lives but it is really none of my business, just don’t stick your nose in mine.

Poly I suppose works for many, being with who you want and answering to one that being the Dominant, and I have my thoughts on that as well.

If you do not live together , if you are not able to reach out and put your hand on your slaves shoulder you really have no control. If you are not together in the physical , you really have no control, you may think you have control but you do not. It does not matter what your being told, and you have no way of knowing what the other is doing.

That is the reason most LDR relationships do not work, and if they do work it is only for a short time, over the phone or the computer you can only exert so much control , but if you are not together and able to reach out and touch you truly have no control.. Some LDR’s do work but very few, more so if there are no plans in either one making that move. If you want to be someplace or with someone just fucking do it, career or not.

Would I want another Slave? Not a chance in Hell, don’t get me wrong I love what I have right now. I love the dynamics of our relationship we both fit like a glove, but to take on another slave , yea I know I am not there. A Submissive yes a Baby Girl yes, but I could not take on another slave.

I will explain why it would make it easier for a submissive or Baby Girl to move in. Who ever it was just as a slave or submissive has to do when moving in with a Dominant, they are the ones who has to adapt. They have to be willing to adapt to the new home, the rules and protocols.

It is hard to explain even though the tird is just that the third you cannot treat as such you have to treat as an equal with the understanding that Arianna is number one, it may seem confusing but it is really not.

Now is a Triad really conducive ? Is there really a need? Do you have to bring in a third ? Last can it work? We do not live in a Vanilla world , nor do the people who read my blog, or maybe there are few who read my blog and are thinking what the fuck is he talking about? I can see that but anyway.

If you know your slave inside and out and you see and feel their emotions, their feelings then you are able to tell if something is wrong or missing. Being a Slave in the lifestyle when it comes to making friends, I mean really close friends it is not an easy task, and it has happened more than once where Arianna has made friends or thought she did only to find out she is on the outside looking in.

The main reason this happens is Arianna is a Slave a real Slave, she lives her life as a slave. She finds it hard to relate to those who are not, she does not understand how someone in a D’s relationship could tell their Master no, or speak out of place, or act like a child in public, she cannot relate.

Is a third the answer I do not know, this is something I am giving a lot of thought. It will take sometime to come to any type of conclusion. To find someone will take time, it will not be rushed, and who knows we may not ever find someone who will fit.

You the Dominant, you the Master your first and only concern should be yours. Yours should come first no matter what. You should have the need to drop what ever your doing at the drop of a pin and fix what ever needs to be fixed, even if they just need to talk.

Now what we have to offer if something should ever come up. We can offer a very loving home. A nice home, we have a beautiful home. It is an older home built in the 40’s I believe. Hardwood floors through out except the kitchen and the florida room. We can off stability, no drama, no fighting. We can make you feel wanted and needed. We would be there for you, as you would be for us

Arianna having someone to hang out with shopping, movies, flea markets. We moved here because Arianna loves the downtown we have here it looks like something out of the 50’s a small town, very well lit up at night.

We only moved here because it was a need for Arianna, that is what I do I take care of mine.

I am no different for any other Dominant we just all have different ideas, we expect different things we want different things we need different things.

I have not come across anyone I would consider at this time, and as I stated it will be a long process. If Arianna just happens to come across someone I would consider but I have the final say. If I make an offer I make it one time, I stand firm on that, and Arianna or no one will persuade me, Because I run my house. My house My Bitch, my rules.

Just my thoughts. I hope everyone has a kick ass weekend.

Much Love

Vile

7 Responses to “Poly Vs Triad”

  1. LittleBoPeep Says:

    Vile, I admire your ability to think through these things, and see the positive and negatives of the situation, as well as the potential consequences, then put it all out here on your blog. I’m sure that whatever your decision, you won’t settle for less than exactly what you want and what works for you both.

  2. I am my Master’s slave. When Em came along master said he was fine with her being our babygirl but he didn’t want another slave. He also made it very clear we would be faithful each other, no outsiders aloud. I love the word Triad it fits so much better. According to the
    BDSM glossary we are in a poly fidelity relationship. We are planning a wedding, my Master and I and our commitment ceremony with Em. Im very excited about this and wanted to share since what you describe is very much the core of what we do and believe in.

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