You Cannot Just Bring Another Bitch Into Your Home

I have talked a lot about poly living and Triad. This is something Arianna have been talking about. The key word talking.

I have seen this done many times. Even in a Master Slave relationship. The Master just walks in with another slave and says here you go she is now part of our home, or she is spending the night as we are all going to play.

I had a Master not long ago tell me he was fed up with his slave because of her attitude when he brought home another slave. Well I can see where the attitude would come into play at.

I said in my last post that there is no room for negotiation, well in this case there would be. It is something the Master, the Dominant or the Daddy has to do, before bringing in another. There has to be a valid reason, and needing more flavor is not a valid reason.

Okay so you have a female cat at home. Your cat has had the run of the house. Then one day you bring in another female cat. Guess what is going to happen? They are going to fight and will continue to fight until one submits, and then there will be times the queen cat will strike. You the cat has just invaded the other cats territory , you have disrupted their whole process, you have disrupted her whole way of life.

I have seen this done many many times and it has never worked, the Dominant has a revolving door. A female Slave, submissive or Baby Girl is very territorial , and they will do what ever they can to protect their home.

So you the third has a few choices this is not something you asked for, this is not something you wanted, surely you do not need it. The only way you can possible gain any ground is to show your submission to the head female.

I am not saying you have to sleep with her, have sex but you will have to show your submission. You will have to kneel and ask to be excepted. If she does no grant you permission, then you leave. Why would you cause her the grief, why would you cause trouble in her life, it was not something she asked for. She was there first. You invaded her place, you invaded her space.

If the Dom is married the number one will when the argument every time, no questions asked. She is the head cat and she is the head cat for a reason, the second cat will never win.

There is some reason a Dominant thinks he is the power above, he has the right to do anything and everything he wants to, after all he is the Master. I am sorry to tell you that is not the way it works.

You are in control of what you have, your submissive, if you go out of your way to meet another sub, slave or baby girl, and just decide you want to bring her home, you do not have that right.

You could end up losing everything, you could end up losing both.

So you want to bring in another. First you have to have a valid reason. You have to be able to explain why it is a need. Second you have to introduce, this is done on neutral grounds never at home. Remember the cat thing. You have to meet and talk, you have to let the two get to know each other, that part is the most important. The two must like each other, and get along. Then the first has to agree to let another in.

The female cat is now willing to share her space. You the third you have to be willing to serve both and be willing to submit to both, you have now invaded someones space. You do not have to serve both, but you must fully submit to both.

If the Dominant is married he will remain married, once the drama becomes to much, once the arguing hits that level to the point he cannot take it any longer you will be gone.

Finely you have no right to complain, you have no right to ask for any privileges you have no right to ask for anything.  It is not your domain.

This is something that has to be negotiated and it is something all three have to come to an agreement on. If the number one says no, no matter what the Dominant says the answer is no because if you do your life will be a living hell, and in the end she will win, she is there for a reason, and no matter what your told, she will always be there for a reason.

That is like the married Dom cheating on his wife. He is not going to leave her. He is just finding someone to suck his cock because his wife wont, other than that he is happy. shrugs.

Why put yourself through all that abuse.

You must I repeat must follow the number ones rules and protocols, you do not have any say. Remember you are in her home. Again she will win any battle, she was there first and will be there last.

If the Dominant is not already in control, you you have entered a losing battle. She will Dominant both. If he cannot control her he will not be able to control anything.

You have to meet on neutral ground, this shows the submissive of the house respect. This is the first step in showing your submission.

Until you make things right with number one, it will never be okay. It is her home and you have to respect the fact that she was first, if you are not wanted and she will not except you. Leave



17 Responses to “You Cannot Just Bring Another Bitch Into Your Home”

  1. You can’t change what’s done, you can’t go back in time, you can’t try to change the hurt feelings or mend the broken hearts. All you can do is learn from your mistakes, and hope you will never regret anything as much as you do now.

  2. phoenixasubbie Says:

    The cat analogy was good. I couldn’t do it… couldn’t take it. I find it amazing the people who can make this work. They have something I just don’t…
    The other thing I often wonder about… I am ALOT, all on my own. I don’t see how one man can handle more than one of me. And most subs/slaves/babygirls are ALOT 🙂
    You have to be quite a man to pull it off… and well

  3. LittleBoPeep Says:

    Your previous post on Triads sparked some interesting discussion in our house. I read your posts to Sir while we are in the car doing errands. Sir brought up the exact points you mentioned here and it got me thinking about if I could ever be a third in the triad you mentioned. The answer is no, I don’t think so and moreover, it made me think about who possibly could. It would have to be a very special person to accept not being someone’s #1. Sir hasn’t ruled it out for the future, but is concerned that no matter how careful he would be, someone would get left out, and someone’s feeling would be crushed. Thank you for adressing these issues.

    • No one gets left out. The dynamics of being able to live as a family. Doing everything together. You would be surprised who would want to be a third. I have gotten several emails from people who read my blog showing interest.
      Just to be part of a family. To be part of someone’s life. Someone taking an interest in them. Offering stability and security. To be the 3rd many would jump on it

  4. This post resonated with me. I’ve only ever been on the “alpha cat” end and have been disrespected by those who wanted to “join” us. I don’t think they understood that they needed and should have wanted to earn my respect, trust and affection to really have been able to form a triad with us and I at the time didn’t fully understand how to communicate that… Thank you for writing this post. I found it insightful and you put what I’ve felt more or less into the words I had difficulty finding. I look forward to reading more posts from you.. Cheers

    • Thank you Kasha
      Never let anyone disrespect you in a Triad Never.
      I will read more of your blog as well.

      I am not sure if your in the BDSM lifestyle but I will soon find out.
      We have talked to a submissive and I clearly made the statement you are number three and will always be number three, but treated equal, if that makes sense.
      As of now she has agreed, but we are taking our time.
      Here is the way I think. It is important for the Alpha and the Betta to get along, they must be able to become friends, Lets take sex out for now.
      The two must become inseparable best friends, if this cannot happen with my Slave, then I would not allow another to come in.
      My main concern is my slave, and my wife, it is her I have to look out for.
      We are looking for a third not for me but for her, and it is not about sex, it is about being able to form a relationship.
      I do the communicating first to see if I think they can be compatible , once that happens I share emails I have received , then I let the two take over and I step out of the picture.

  5. The principles you describe go for all poly situations, whether they are in BDSM context or not, permanent as well as temporary. I used to play a lot with one particular couple, one Dom, one sub, and I as a switch took the role that fitted best the scene we had agreed to. I always tried my very best to observe and respect the dynamics of their relationship, as I was a third party, an intruder only tolerated by grace of both of them. Things could have turned awkward really quickly had I not done that…

  6. Vile- you’ve said on your comments that this is for Arriana, and not really mentioned that part in this post or detailed it much except for one post a few weeks back. You speak of how it must work for all three and you have voiced your concerns as well as your reasons for it not working. At first, it almost sounded as if you were trying to talk someone close to you out of this scenario, but it increasingly sounds as if you’re really looking for someone to bring into your M/s arrangement. So I wondered aloud to Mynx how Arriana feels about this and I also asked whether you were seeking a Triad or Poly- or really just collecting feedback? I also wondered if there were other reasons you felt your relationship needs a third?

    -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

    • Believe it or not my reasoning is mainly for Arianna.
      Besides me it would be a best friend for her. Not someone who is bi a female who would become almost like a sister.
      It would be a triad not poly. I am in no way interested in a poly.
      To become a family I think it could be done if all three worked together.
      Arianna and who ever would have to become friends first and foremost before any M’s was brought in.
      They would also have to except they are the third.
      That is not impossible there are many who are looking for a stable home , security, and being taken care of.
      As far as sex goes I have not even given it a thought.
      I work a lot and arianna does get lonely.
      I hope I answered your question if not please continue

      • No Sir- no other questions. 🙂

        Just making sure you’re thinking clearly through this- I know how much you care about Arianna and I don’t want to see either of you struggling with this concept. Yup- I care about ya, ya big softee! LOL!

        -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

      • We are still in the talking stages there will be a lot of talking.
        Arianna has to be sure this is what she needs not I .
        We may never take that step. She is the most important to me.

      • Good man! From the tone of your post I was beginning to think you weren’t going to allow her any input, glad to see I misunderstood that part Vile.

        -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

      • We are in contact with someone now. Just feeling things out.

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