It Is Not Always The Dominant’s Fault

A year and a half I have been ragging on other Dominants because of abuse. The fake Dominants who lurk in the shadows waiting for the perfect prey to come along.

Even those who are Submissive or a Slave has said well this Dom is a fake that Dom is a fake, but that is not always the case. There are those few times the submissive has just read someone wrong.

When you first meet a Dom, or a Daddy, maybe a Master, they all have a series of questions they ask you. When a question is asked they want a straight forward answer. They want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When asked questions you give a direct answer, and sometimes it is good to add if you see the need, or you want the conversation to take a different avenue.

If your asked a question or he makes a statement and you agree, you have just started digging yourself a hole, and unless you do something to correct it, your hole will continue to get deeper, because this is your train of thought.

When you speak about limits stand firm on your hard limits. Do you like anal sex ? No I do not that is a hard limit. If you do not like Anal sex say so? Do you enjoy pain ? No Pain is a very hard limits.  If pain is truly a hard limit say so. Do not say something that may have a bad outcome if you choose to enter such a relationship.

This is Vile.

Why do you want to be a Slave. I am looking right in her eyes waiting for a reply. I also want full eye contact.

When did you first become interested in the lifestyle ? Wait for answer.

How many Doms or Masters have you been with and what happened ? May I contact them ? And I have contacted other Masters.

How do you see yourself in an M’s relationship on a daily basis ?

The Slave What are my rules ? Vile I do not know as of yet I do not know you well enough to give or enforce any rules..

Vile

Before we go any further let me explain who I am. I am looking for a slave with little to no limits. I am looking for a slave who wants to be completely owned.  Sex is when I want and need, you have three holes and I plan to use all of them is that understood ? If the answer is no to anyone of those the conversation is over because I Vile will not bend.

You will follow my rules once I know you well enough to start implementing them is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes, looking at me in the eyes.

You will follow my protocols to a T without question,  is that understood ? What are your protocols ? I then say I am simple I have three that will be followed 1 2 3 I may add more as I see fit.

Vile

I do not share, you must remain loyal at all times is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes.

Are you into pain ? The Slave no I am not, good because I am not either. If her answer would of been yes that would of ended the conversation. Why ? Because that was something I could no provide her.

Vile

What are your needs ? What is it you need to be a slave on a daily basis ?  Very important questions there, again you must give a straight answer. You should already have every answer in your head by the time you meet someone. You should have a fucking list a mile long.

Vile

I am going to go one more step. In my home there has to be a bitch, you would be my slave, I would owne you without question, you are to follow. You do not have the right to question me and the word no never comes out of your mouth, unless.

There is an unless and a exception to the rule. If the submissive or slave sees their owner is making a mistake and it will effect the house, then they have the right to question, and they have the right to know what is going to be done to fix the problem.

Vile

Have you understood everything ? Did I leave anything out ? Do I need to cover anything I said again?

It is very important for the Dominant to be very clear when he is explaining his need, his rules and protocols. It should be explained in such a manner that he leaves no rock un-turned.

Vile

Do you have any questions or comments, or something you would like to share?

Answer I need all of the above, but I need to be micromanaged . WHoa , she just through in a wrench into my thinking process, that was something I was not expecting, so now my brain has just hit Mach one.

Vile

Micromanaged as in ? I want you to completely run my life, including my daily task, what I eat, when I sleep, when I shower, what I wear, everything.

Vile

Well um hmmm let me think. This was something that caught me totally off guard.

See now the Slave has the upper hand, the slave is now in control of the conversation.

Vile

That is something I am going to have to think about. I did not give a reason, I did not have to.

Vile

So if I agree to your terms and you agree to mine, your thinking maybe we should try to move forward is that correct ?

If I had agreed to her terms right then and there I would of been stuck, or played the micromanage part until I felt like I had enough control so I could back off.

I had to think about that part for a day. That would be taking a very large step. Before I could commit I had to come up with a plan, I even tried consulting with or Dominants, and their answer was man fuck that shit.

I however felt we had enough in common that I just might be up for such a task.

Everybody is not going to have the same questions, or the same needs, but you get the idea.

If you give the Dom a false answer or your just saying yes to please, you are like the Titanic you will sink and you will sink fast, and there are no life boats.

Sex is not the main road in a relationship, but if someone answered no to anyone of mine, the conversation was over, done. In the past I had giving in and it did not last. Why ? Because I was not upfront and I lied.

Be prepared, ask questions, do not be afraid to say I will not or afraid to use the word no. If the Dominant gets up and walks out, then it was not meant to be.

That goes the same with the Submissive or Slave, you to should get up and walk out. Kick the dirt and move on

It is not always the Dominants fault.

If a Dominant tells you when you are meeting with him, and he says your not allowed to have any eye contact. Tell him to go fuck himself. He does not have that right. If you agree you are already submitting , at this point that is not where you want to be.

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Vile

10 Responses to “It Is Not Always The Dominant’s Fault”

  1. Reblogged this on My thoughts of her daily. and commented:
    Thank you for your expression.

  2. I made a comment earlier on Kayla’s blog how a good D/s relationship is symbiotic, how each one grows and learns off the other. If one lies or breaks trust then it can be parasitic and it will fester and die.
    When it is symbiotic each one gets what they need and want out fo the relationship, it is a win win situation. But that only comes when both are honest about what they want and are looking for.

  3. Considering how this plays out in a monogamous marriage moving into D/s….interesting to ponder.

    • It can be done but you have to have a plan in place
      Tons of communication. And you have to be will to submit and he has to take control

      • Yeah, none of that hard at all…..gulp. We are managing. He has joined fetlife and I hope he can make connections with other Dominant husbands who can help him figure out how to manage me. I’m trying but we have been married a while. Lots of bad habits to break me from. 🙂 my idea though and he is totally on board.

      • I agree. Faith is an important issue. We shall see

  4. LittleBoPeep Says:

    Yes, you have to be completely upfront and be wiling to talk openly about what your needs and limits are, and then also be willing to walk away if the match isn’t right. This is trickier in married relationships initially, the fear of rejection is high. In two years though DMW and I have yet to run across a roadblock we couldn’t find a solution to.

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