The Slave Has To Adapt

Adapting to a new way of life , this goes for the submissive as well. It can be more difficult if you have been in past D’s relationships, because every Dominant is different.

Dominants we all act different, we expect different things out of our partners, we all have different goals, but most of all we all have different needs and wants.

One of the things I hear all the time from different subsmissive’s and Slaves is a Dom telling them they can teach them to like pain. Okay so lets do a little experiment. Pick up a Hammer put your finger on a table and hit it with the hammer, do this once a week for a month, it will still fucking hurt.

Those who enjoy pain who that time as a release, it can be a release for inside pain, the pain that someone carry’s deep inside. It can be a stress reliever, those who truly enjoy pain experience the release of endorphins , which puts you in what we call sub-space.

Sub-space is very unique because each time you reach that level you experience a different feeling, you have different thoughts, it is never the same, it is unlike any other drug, natural drug that is.

I have and do so many times experienced what is called Dom-space , I actually have to sit down and just chill, so I can gather my thoughts. It is like a rush, I get chill bumps, I can feel my heart racing, I need to sit down. It is some kind of rush.

These feelings can only come after you have been with someone long enough to build that trust with each other, you have to have that bond.

Sub-space is very intense, your mind is traveling a thousand miles an hour, you cant think straight, in most cases you cannot even move your arms or legs. You are in a state of mass confusion. That is why during a session or play time, it is very important for the Dom to stay in constant verbal contact with the submissive.

After a long hard session with or without pain after care needs to come into play. This is when you hold yours, this is when praise come into place, this is when you ask what their thoughts are, what they are feeling, thinking, all while your holding.

I will say I am not big on after care, but it really depends on our play, or how intense it was, and how long. I suppose this comes from being a sadist for many years, maybe I am still in the deprogramming process.  I do know I have no desire to walk that path again. We all change as we grow older, and when we go through changes we have to be able to adapt. Being able to adapt and want to adapt can make a huge difference.

Before moving in with your Dom, your Master or your Daddy, everything has to be already planned out, because if you walk in blindly it could turn into a huge mistake.

You the submissive or the slave are walking into his house, you are now under his roof, his rules, his needs and wants. If you are not ready to do so or you have not worked out a plan there will be resistance , and that would not be good or fun.

Most of the time the only resistance I have seen is from those who have been in the lifestyle for any amount of time, those who have had several relationships. I think it comes from comparing, maybe not comparing outside the box, but mentally your comparing.

That is why I prefer someone with little to no experience because there is nothing to compare. Now I can set the pace, I can train to fit my needs, and I have found that the adapting process is much easier , and there is less resistance from the submissive or slave.

When you the submissive are fighting the process, your rebelling , or not willing to adapt to your new surroundings really makes the process hard on both.

When I first met Arianna I was ready for a battle, after learning everything about her, my train of thought was I had a long hard road, but I felt we had enough in common, that just maybe it would work.

I have said before we are visual we take in more of what we see than what we hear, we see more than we hear, but at times we hear more than we see if that makes sense.

Arianna kinda threw me off guard, because there was no resistance at all, there were no questions , no questions, nothing. This caused me to sit down and rethink things out. Even though she was not fully giving herself, even though she did not fully trust because of past relationships with other Doms, there was no resistance.

The Dominant has to set the pace, he sets the ground rules, he sets the house rules and protocols. Protocols are meant to bring structure into ones life. I have said this before it is a type of behavior modification. You are taking someone and you are molding them to fit your needs.

I am called Master Arianna does so because it gives her the feeling of a greater connection, it also reminds her that she is owned. I had to earn that it was not demanded. I never at any time demanded she call me sir, or master at any time. I am speaking with another submissive right now, well both of us are, and she calls me by my first name.

You cannot demand to be called Sir , Daddy or Master, if you do you need to grow up. Earning that comes from earning respect and respect is not something you can demand.

When you slave or submissive first moves in, this is what I call the Vanilla weeks, I say weeks as in two. You want the submissive or slave to feel as relaxed as they can. This is the time process where you are building trust and respect. I am serious because if you just go balls to the wall, the submissive will think what the fuck have I done? What the fuck have I gotten myself into ?

The vanilla time, the chill time, going out having fun, talking. You want the submissive to feel as relaxed as you possibly can.

You the Dominant you also have to be willing to change things up, because what worked with your last, I promise you it will not work with the new one. If you think it will you are dead wrong. Before you can begin any type of training you need to have a plan. I have a huge book in my brain, and I can use it as a reference at any time. This book comes from years and years of learning, watching and observing other Dominants.

Every Submissive or Slave is different, everyone has different needs, they need different structure, they need different rules, they need different protocols, the attention factor in each is different, so what worked last year will not work now. You may be able to use some but it will be just bits and pieces.  If what you are doing is not working or your not getting the results you thought you would you need to be able to change things up.

One more thing to look at, maybe the submissive or slave is really not either, maybe they just thought they were submissive or they wanted to be a slave. This happens often, and it does not mean they were not real, because in their mind they were and it was something they thought they were.

If that comes to light, and she comes forward and says hey this is not for me. Then you should allow her time to gather things and move on. Give her time to find another place. Never tell someone they are not real.

It could be your training, maybe your not what she thought you were, maybe she is not getting what she feels like she should be getting from your training. That is why communication is so important.

The worst thing you can do is play the blame game. Your not real, you played me. Or something like I heard from a baby girl the other day, the Dom said nobody wants me, really coming from a man who is suppose to be a leader. Nobody wants me, the self pity party now. That may work but only for a short period of time. If your the self pity king, your a loser.

If you do and act with what you have promised there will be little to no resistance, everything will fall into place. You may have to change things up, but it will work.

Last never share what your going to do. I am going to start your training. What are you going to do? I am not sure. Most of the time you can train and the other does not even know it. Not that hard.

If you the Dominant plays your cards right the Submissive or Slave will adapt and will do so without question. If you are who you say you are there will be little to no resistance.



23 Responses to “The Slave Has To Adapt”

  1. phoenixasubbie Says:

    Food for thought as always Vile. I’m exploring my slave side currently, and think my Daddy has paced it perfectly for us both. I think it comes down to the last two sentences of yours.
    Thank you as always for sharing your experience with others. Love to you and Ariana. xx

  2. Reblogged this on Kacie´s Kinky Kixxx ♥ and commented:
    Brilliant. Any of my kinksters who are interested in the BDSM lifestyle need to read this. Very good information here.

  3. Shared! Loved this.

  4. annabianca2014 Says:

    Reblogged this on Finding Me and commented:
    Very interesting. A must read

  5. Reblogged this on paddledhusband and commented:
    This is something every Dominant should read. As well as every submissive / slave. There is so much truth here.

  6. This is such a great blog. I had to reblog it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  7. Every time I read one of your posts like this I keep thinking I had found you and your blog 18 months ago. I wouldn’t have met fake dom.

  8. emdimensionality Says:

    It’s so true that what works is completely individual. Everything comes down to the chemistry between partners, and we ask have to be able to adapt to doing things differently. Dominants can’t sheets just user the same bag of tricks because some submissives are going to need something different to respond. Submissives can’t just expect the next Dominant to be like the last. They won’t be.

    For me, on one hand my level of submission is driven by what my partner needs, and then that is adjusted based on what they are able to bring out in me. On the other hand, the base level of submission I crave does change over the years, almost independent of outside forces.

    Even within stable relationships, we have to be open to adapting to new desires, new fears, growth and changes in either partner. Expecting things to be static from one relationship to the next or within our long term relationships is unrealistic. Also boring. 🙂 Life is change. Those who are best able to embrace change and adapt will find a happier life.

    Thanks so much, again, for the thought provoking post. You inspire me.

    • Wow what an awesome reply, I truly enjoyed reading. I am also glad I inspire you, I feel truly honored by those words.
      Please feel free to comment or ask questions anytime you feel.
      Much Love

  9. seldomseenway Says:

    Reblogged this on Seldom Seen Way and commented:
    Very good read.

  10. night owl Says:

    Hey Vile,
    I wanted to put in my two cents as a sometimes-sub. You write that, in subspace, the mind is going a thousand miles an hour. For me, my mind is always going a thousand miles an hour. It is only in subspace (and occasionally in meditation) that it stops racing and I am at peace.
    Enjoyed the post.
    Night Owl

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