Arianna And I watched, My Five Wives, Well Almost All Of It

My Five Wives

While skipping through channels the other day I stumbled across this show called, My Five Wives

Brady who is married to five wives in Utah and has 24 children lives in two houses built side by side and a food bill of over 4.000 dollars a month seems to have it down for the most part.

The family were all Mormons at one time but have split off from the traditional Mormon religion and kinda added their own flavor.  While the family follows no real religion they all believe in Buddhism, all the women are pro-gay marriage and they all have a drink from time to time.

Each wife has their own bedroom and Brady takes turns spending the night with each one. One Birthdays each wife gets an extra night.

I have nothing against those who believe in polygamy or who live it, if it works for them then so be it.

If a family can live the Polygamy lifestyle and make it work, and not live off of government assistance then leave them be. We are in a new time where we allow gay couples to marry so why would be draw a line on how many people can live together.

While the family is not religious based they were all Mormons at one time, and they do live in a  Polygamist community , which they have been asked to leave because of the way they believe.

There are a few things that caught my eye in the short time we watched the show. The main thing was the jealousy between all of the wives as Brady took turns spending the night with each one. The second was no structure within the home, third there were no rules that had to be followed. Even though the show is not geared towards any BDSM lifestyle or Domestic Discipline the family did lack the fundamentals of any type of real structure and no protocol. I do believe Brady tries to communicate the best he can, but the main factor that keeps everything from working is the jealousy. There is no real communication with the wives, they all work toward the building of the home, but there is clearly no team work. They do have family outings which is good, yes all thirty of them, wow can you imagine going to McDonalds and having a bill for thirty.

So I wonder if others who live as Polygamist have the same issues , the same problems , if they have the same jealousy issues going on.

None of the wives on the show are Bi Sexual and that should never come into play anyway if you are looking to expand your family. I do not see the need in having partners and seeking out those who are bi as a need and that should never be part of the reason you are wanting to expand your family.

While I have done research on Domestic Discipline family’s I have not run into any who live as Polygamist. I have run into family’s who suffered from abuse and while a couple disagreed with me they mentioned all of the arguing that went on daily, and the fighting that went on daily so I was not able to connect them with living a Domestic Discipline lifestyle which for the most is religious based as well.

In the short time watching the show I was able to pin point where the problems came from. First there was no Alpha female, if there was she was not willing to step up to the plate. I can see where they all were wanting to be treated equal but in a live in situation like that I see no way that would work.

There was zero structure everyone did their own thing, having no structure causes arguing. There were no house rules again having no rules causes arguing.  Last but not least there were no consequences for any actions. Although he did try and communicate with everyone it was clear he was not getting through to them.

I can see where such a lifestyle could work if the male is in full control, and I can also see where it can fail. Those who live the polygamy lifestyle keep it such a secret I do not believe there is any hard statistics that shows if it works more than it fails.

I also believe a man can stretch his self way to thin and not being able to maintain any type of control, and it is clear when one of the wives stood toe to toe and argued with him he clearly had no control.

When Arianna and I were talking about the possibility of adding another, there would of been a plan in place. There would of been house rules to follow, there has to be structure, there has to be protocols , and most of all there has to be an alpha female, and the other has to know the alpha is just that and will always be the alpha. So a third would have to be okay being the third, and know that will never change.

I was reading some of the comments about the TV show My Five Wives, and there was not one good one, well until I commented. These people who were complaining are the same ones you see as customers in the TV show Hardcore Pawn, or guest on the Jerry Springer show, These are the ones talking about how others live their lives.

You have people protesting Gay Marriage if your so against it then don’t marry someone who is gay, BOOM problem solved. If you judge someone for having more than one wife, then just marry one, problem solved.

What is really stupid is you spend and hour watching a TV show about Polygamist then you spend the next day complaining about it. Wow fucking really. Truth be known your the fucking moron for wasting an hour of your life watching something you hate so much.

Let people be who they want and need to be. A friend at work was talking about a family he was working with they were Mexican, he was saying that two family’s lived in a two bedroom apartment, and how crazy they were. Well it is not really crazy, they make it work, who cares how they live.

If your going to live, live the dream, but don’t waste your time talking about how others live, when your own backyard is fucked up….

By the way I can talk, my backyard is clean.

Image Just how many is to many? How many can you keep under your control.

Vile

20 Responses to “Arianna And I watched, My Five Wives, Well Almost All Of It”

  1. I personally think it is very hard to live together with multiple partners, especially in a non-BDSM context. There has to be very strict discipline and control for something like this to work, and in vanilla relationships there just isn’t enough of that… Just look at the drama generated in a simple monogamous relationship, and you know enough.

  2. phoenixasubbie Says:

    I know I’m plenty to keep up with. I can’t imagine a man in my life having time for another woman. To me, something gives, and that is just not something I’d ever be willing to accept.
    But I agree with you that in these scenarios, someone clearly has to be in charge to make this work… and work well.
    xx

  3. Alexandrea Ward Says:

    I saw the first episode just the other day and I agree with what you are saying. I know that Brady felt the need to wed all these women but I feel that after a second or third way, he should’ve seen how things would be once one or two more were added. There isn’t any structure but I don’t remember if Brady mentioned growing up in a polygamist family or not. I remember one or two of the wives mentioning it, so they believe that what has already been going is for the most part working. The communication isn’t functional at all and I would think that the wives would have an open line of communication amongst themselves and with their husband, not use him as the go between in all matters. But like I said, I don’t even know if any of them know what having an open line of communication looks like.

    • I agree just how many is to many. It becomes to many when your not able to have any control. They all grew up in polygamy house holds.
      The one mistake was or is when they wives argue he steps in. These problems should be worked out between them and only them.
      I believe in a D’s run home it would be much different.
      You can have ten wives, but without structure rules and protocols you have nothing but a mess, and a mess that cannot be fixed

  4. LittleBoPeep Says:

    DMW had the same comments. No authority, lack of rules and consequences. We switched off after few minutes, too much drama with the wives. It makes for good TV though.

  5. Mr.HH can’t fathom having more than one of me to have to manage. 🙂 I agree with what you said about the haters. If someone doesn’t like a lifestyle, just-don’t-watch. What does it say about the hater who wastes time on the show when it is clear to him that it doesn’t appeal? Idiot. I haven’t seen this one but have watched Sister Wives a few times. That one seems to have a more cohesive family. The wives seem to be working more same a unit. It’s not for me, but interesting to consider the dynamic.

  6. After having just watched an episode of this, where the fifth wife Rhonda is looking into adoption, I wanted to come comment on this post. The house is in complete disarray and I am shocked.

    To me, the fifth wife Rhonda actually seems like the immediate Alpha female, whereas the first wife and the only one with a marriage certificate doesn’t seem like she’s Alpha but she seems like she tries to be in passive aggressive and subversive ways–IE when she she’s alone with the camera she talks about how she knows she’s the special one in Brady’s heart over the other women, etc. WOW.

    Also, the amount of jealousy in the house is palpable. These women call each other sisters but it is clear to me that they feel anything but. All of them seem very focused on Brady and don’t get me wrong, that’s fine, but they are catty with each other, bitching about having to deal with the other children, etc. They should be focused on working together to make the house work, that should be the way they show their devotion to Brady, not by trying to undercut each other and vie for his attention.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m talking like I just blame the women here, but the fault falls first with Brady. He hasn’t done anything to make sure that the women a) don’t act this way and b) don’t feel like they need to act this way. His house could really use some structure.

    I would watch this show simply for the drama (it’s good “reality television” if you’re into that sort of thing) but I really think that the show Sister Wives presents a better picture of what it means to be in a polyamorous relationship. It doesn’t have as much drama, which may be why My Five Wives has come on the air. But what I’ve seen of Sister Wives, the husband seems to really have a handle on each of his personal relationships and the group relationship. He’s built an empire wherein he is respected as father, the children get along as siblings and the wives really work together for the betterment of the whole flock.

    Though I don’t think that BDSM necessarily has to translate into polyamory, I think that, as you have said many times before in your blog, someone has to be the bitch. I don’t think Brady takes a firm enough hand to have a family this big. He seems more stressed about having five wives than he should be. Which leads me to wonder why he married five women in the first place.

    Great post, Vile.

    :]

  7. Lina in the Levant Says:

    I’ve caught an episode of it on the internet and a few episodes of the other one about the Mormon polygamists. Two things I noticed: How adamant they are that being in polygamous relationships is best for them and then just how insecure they are in their polygamous relationships. They’re so jealous of each other and not embarrassed to show it.

  8. I despise most reality television for the sole reason that the producers prey on the participants’ vanity and weaknesses and often sow discord to create drama. Add to that the creative editing to spotlight minor altercations and you have the cheapest form of entertainment. Few people can handle this kind of manipulation and scrutiny and come through with their lives intact at the end of it.

    But a voyeuristic public eats it up.

    There is a Dom. The producer. There is an Alpha. The Director. There are rules. Screw with their lives and spotlight their dysfunction until they crack in front of the cameras. Exploit every weakness in their family until they break. Make them look ridiculous for the titillation of the masses.

    It’s a mindfuck and Brady and his wives signed up for it.

    I worked in TV for twelve years. The powers that be behind reality television learned to avoid families with rules, structure, and Alphas. They have all that in the Robertson family of Duck Dynasty and because of that, ultimately couldn’t manipulate them into being a televised train wreck.

    As far as the topic of polygamy, it sounds to me like Brady isn’t mature enough, or strong enough, to be married to one wife, let alone five. All relationships and households require structure and order, whether polygamous, monogamous, openly BDSM, vanilla, or somewhere in between. Someone has to be the official representative who takes responsibility for the family. Without that, the family will fall apart.

  9. emdimensionality Says:

    I haven’t seen the show so I’ll have to reserve most intelligent commentary until I do, but I just wonder if these women are as catty and jealous as you all make them sound, why would they ever into a poly situation in the first place? Was it somehow expected of them? I can’t imagine anything but drama and heartache if they all really want to be the only wife. Sounds crazy. Brady would have to be a glutton for punishment to sign up for constant competition and no cohesive unit. I don’t get it. Now I’ll have to watch.

  10. I do believe that any consenting adults should have the right to marry whomever and however many they want. Unfortunately, most polygamy families raise their daughters to get married at 12 -15 years old to men who are 50 yrs and up. As the boys grow older, they are “banished” from the sect so there will be no competition. That’s fine that reality TV and the families try to spin polygamous marriages into a somewhat normal family unit (jealousy and all), it makes the viewers believe that they are accepting and open minded, when actually, the viewers are complicit in the heinous crimes that are committed daily in the lives of wives and their children. Why? Because these “reality” shows effectively deflect viewers from learning and knowing about the child and wife rape, abuse, forced marriage, and other submissive acts that are not safe, not sane, and only barely consensual because of life long, very thorough conditioning. Some of these are religion based, some are not.
    If a law to allow plural marriage came up, I would vote yes because I believe strongly in civil rights. But I would not condone it in any way, simply because marriage is hard work, we are all human, and it would take super human strength to have multiple, wives, see to their needs and do so in a loving supportive manner. And there are always but always casualties.

    • EJR
      I fully agree with you on all points.
      They should show the truth.
      What is a shame the TV networks know this
      I am assuming they cannot be that dumb
      But ratings make corporate blind it’s all about money.

      I could not live like that nor would I want the responsibility of 5 wives
      not even three .
      We are still in the thinking stage of things.
      The final outcome will be what’s best for Arianna.
      I’m not sure why the bdsm lifestyle is so different
      Than the vanilla side.

  11. withlovesaraah Says:

    Hmmm…. I’ve heard a story of two women (they met online and apparently became best friends), the one was married, and looking for a second wife for her husband. What happened was she finally got to meet her bestie face-to-face, and a month or so down the line, she introduced her to her finace/husband (the details are kinda blurry). So her friend dated her husband for a bit, and eventually they were engaged.

    When I asked the first wife about her reasoning, she said that she found it hard to balance a career, husband and soon-to-be family all at once, so she began looking for a way to ‘split the responsibility.’ She also told me that she felt like she was drowning in him, and didn’t have enough time for herself, so she liked the idea of having someone else to ‘offload’ him on.
    Now, I now that it sounds like she basically wanted someone to get rid of her hubby on, but he has a very… how do I say this… overpowering (so to speak) personality, and at the time I could understand why she needed a break every so often. She also told me that she wasn’t really a jealous person, and she liked being able to hang with her bestie and hubby together (in a strictly platonic way, she isn’t Bi).
    So, thats what she wanted, and I’m glad she got it.

    • I do not believe being Bi should be required more so if it is being done for the good. I do know those who have met via net and things worked out.
      I also know Triad and poly families who are doing great…
      Arianna and I have been apart one time and only for a few hours well besides work..

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