Being A Mentor

I enjoy helping others, it gives me a great feeling to watch someone grow. I love watching subs and slaves get back on track, being able to watch them get their life back on track. What makes things easier is when I give advice and they follow it, this is when you can tell if they are serious or not.

I have been mentoring someone for the last six months or so, keeping in touch on a regular basis. Talking about anything and everything with the exception of sex. I really see no need in it, because I am not trying to mentor their sex life.

Even with my busy schedule I make time to answer emails, poke fun on Facebook and just talking about things in general. To be a mentor you have to be friends as well, you have to be able to joke around and have fun.

To bad we live so far apart, with just communicating via email makes things kinda hard but it gets done. Again knowing they are following your advice truly means a lot.

Then there comes a time when it is time to let someone local slowly take over, but weeding through different Doms is not an easy task. She had found a Dom she had really taken a liking to. A Dom who had been in the lifestyle for many years, a Dom who was a leader in the community. A Dom who was very respected.

Then came the day I emailed him. I sent a very detailed email about the submissive I had been mentoring requesting his help since he was local. Several days had past before he answered and it was a very nice introduction. Thanking me for the great job I had been doing, and assured me he would drop me a line if he needed to know more and keep me posted of the progress. Wow okay this Dom seems genuine and sincere.

I emailed the Submissive telling her he was willing to step in and help, he would guide her , give her advice and keep me in the loop. She was truly excited.

Shortly after I received an email asking if it was okay for her to give him her phone number , I replied sure go ahead, talk, get to know each other.

A couple of days go by and she sends me an email, telling me what they have covered, and she was somewhat upset, things had not gone as planned.

The first thing he wanted to know about her was what her childhood fantasies were, what she liked about sex, and then it got even deeper he was asking about bestiality. He then began to explain that while he was willing to mentor her and maybe more, no Dominant would even consider her as long as I was in the picture. She was advised to get rid of me.

I blogged about this before but not in this much detail, it is just something that has been eating at me for sometime, and I do find it somewhat disturbing that a Dom well in his 50’s would still be thinking like this.

Then came the email about everything that was wrong with her, how she would be to much work, but at no time did he say anything about me not being in the picture.

Now we have gone a little over six months and the subject of sex has never come up, and after they spent five minutes on the phone, he was probably laying in bed jacking off.

This is what I have been explaining for a year and a half. If you are meeting a Dominant and he is truly interested in you as a person, a submissive or slave the topic of sex should be avoided until you both decide to enter a relationship. Until such time you should concentrate on becoming friends. One step at a time, each step you take brings you closer to the relationship you want, need and deserve.

I think everyone should have a mentor including Dominants especially those under the age of 25 or so. Those who are submissive and slaves new to the lifestyle should also have a mentor. If you are single sub or slave you should have a mentor, someone you can turn to, and depend on.

We who live the lifestyle should be one long connecting chain, like people holding hands. We should all be working together, giving advice and helping out when needed, but we should also be careful not to judge other. Remember we all have different kinks, we all have different needs.

Every submissive or slave is different, everyone needs a different lifestyle, some just in the bedroom, someone outside the bedroom, and some want to give up total control. The important thing is to be there in a time of need.

Viles Quote of the day.

A Married Dominant who cheats on his wife is like a screen door on a submarine, he’s worthless.

Much Love and Happy Easter

Vile

16 Responses to “Being A Mentor”

  1. I hope you don’t mind, I’m trying to get another Sub to talk to you.

  2. And a very “Happy Easter” to you Mr. Vile and your wonderful Arianna… ★

  3. Wishing you and yours a very Happy Easter

  4. Cinnamon ( Formerly Phoenixasubbie ) Says:

    You are a minority Vile… and are one of the rare ones to do it right.
    As a whole though, I believe only subs should mentor subs and Doms mentor dominants.
    You seem somewhat more of what I’d think of as a protector than a mentor? What do you see the difference as?

    • I do agree with you as far as the mentor. I can see a protector as well. What I do is try to help those who are submissive get back on track. I am very protective as well. I have a soft heart for women vanilla or not.
      The lifestyle has changed so much. For the worse.
      If I could house everyone I would and expect nothing in return.
      Thank you for your awesome comment.
      I will comment more here in a few

  5. shewhoserves Says:

    Thank You and miss both

  6. Double Leo Says:

    Once again you have written something that has my head nodding and my agreement bringing a smile to my face…THANK YOU!

  7. Your words are a well of wisdom, Vile, from which I regularly drink.
    Reading this post on your mentoring subs I could not stop wondering what actually are you talking about…topics you tackle and how can you assess the outcomes of your teachings.

  8. I don’t know that I agree that only subs can mentor other subs. I think some people relate and feel more comfortable with others regardless of gender and/or Dom/sub. Just my 2 cents on that one.

  9. tiffanygoodgirl Says:

    Ha! I adore the quote at the end! 😂😂 so very true! 👍

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