Our Triad Search Continues

We have not really been looking that long , so we are still doing a lot of talking about it. We talk about how things should be and what we expect.

We had met a slave well not in person but a slave who lived a distance from us. She is truly incredible and all and more a Master could ever want. She was someone who has been a slave for a very long time, she is someone who is true to the lifestyle, and a Master would be honored to own her.

As I stated before the Triad is not about me or or me needing more flavor, it is about Arianna. Arianna having someone who can step in and help, to be best friends, go out and do things. To become part of the family, someone who needs to belong to a family where she is cared for, someone who has the need to want to serve.

Okay so the slave we had been in contact with as I stated she is a real slave, but when we first started talking, I made it clear. It is not I that you have to get to know, well not yet, it is Arianna. The Slave must become friends with Arianna, I am not talking about kissing her ass or being someone your not, but the two will have to live together. The truth is Arianna was not able to feel that bond, she did not feel that connection, and when she explained it to me I understood.

Now I run my house, I have full control over what happens and what does not. In the end I have full say so over who enters our home and who does not. It would not be fair to Arianna for me to say okay this slave is moving in, you suck it up and deal with it. I know I speak about consistency , but I do not need  to be constantly  breaking up arguments or trying to keep peace between two slaves, or a slave and submissive. I also have to look out for Arianna, I am her Husband , Master and protector.

So Arianna asked me. Master what type of slave or submissive would you want to consider ? Hmm well someone who has the need to serve, someone who would become your best friend. Someone who is Docile, an introvert so to speak. Someone who needs to follw direction, rules and protocols. Someone who wants the security of knowing they are cared for. Someone who wants to unit with two to make three. Someone who want stability, someone who is treated fair and with respect. Someone who wants and needs communication. Someone who wants to be told the truth. There are a lot of someones. You would think I am asking for a kidney but it will come I am sure. If it does not then it was not meant to be.

I am not going to bring someone into my home who is going to disrupt what I have worked so hard to build. I am not going to bring someone in who is going to disrupt Ariannas life.

Vile

37 Responses to “Our Triad Search Continues”

  1. I wish you the best of luck in this search. When I read about your searching it scares me and makes me uncomfortable — you have such a solid bond why mess with it. (Remember that I run dominant through my daily life, I have a hard time imagining someone attempting to find me a friend.) The beauty of BDSM is communication and that will serve you well in this endeavor and I am reminded that someone’s Kink/Life may not and should not be the same as anyone elses. Again, Good Luck.

  2. I think the hardest part of this, Sir, is going to be natural, female competitiveness.

    I probably fall into every single one of those “someone’s”, and go out of my way to please my friends as much as I would my Dom/Master. But there would come a time when the competitiveness would come out. And I honestly believe it is an innate part of being submissive.

    We want to be the best to serve you, in every capacity, and I do believe this is why triads or poly relationships are more difficult.

    I applaud Arianna for her willingness to seek this. And I hope you find someone just as willing, who can truly put herself third in the relationship.

  3. Double Leo Says:

    I can see the beauty of it…Arianna having that someone who she can always call friend no matter WHAT and to share this life with IN PERSON. I think it would be AWESOME to have that closeness with someone but it would take a strong Dom to control the situation as well. Good luck to both of you!

    • I love your comment. I also love the way you think and yes you are correct.
      The best thing neither have to be bi

      • Double Leo Says:

        Well I love how your mind works so I guess we are even -giggle – Honestly I think being Bi would only complicate it. You wouldn’t have a friendship but rather another romantic relationship and that could cause problems at times. However to have a person who you share your Important person with and to have them as back up in times of need…I can see the attraction of it.

      • You hit it right on the nail. See we are on the same track

      • Double Leo Says:

        -giggle- See Vile, we Babygirls are good for something 🙂

      • Yes most of you are indeed most of you are.
        There are those few AAAARRRRHGHH

  4. I think you are going about this the right way. We messed up and brought the third in that was only here for my husband. That caused lots of problems that lead to the triad not working. Making sure that the one you add is there for her is very important. Making sure she is compatible with Arianna is so important. Also establishing the fact that Arianna is alpha in the home from the beginning is very important.
    Wish you the best of luck. What we thought would be a great journey has damaged our marriage and we are having problems fixing it.

    • I am sorry you went through that. I hope things are going well for you two now
      It should be both and what is the third bringing to the table……

      • Yes we learned a lot.
        We wish there had been a handbook out there to help us.
        The third understanding her place and coming for both involved is so important.

  5. It’s thankful, this slave finds herself, to have met and be able to get to know 2 such amazing people. she looks forward to continued growth and support she has found in the friendship.

  6. Wow, what a challenge.
    You both know what you want. So now I say- forget about it. Don’t look. I think this should be a natural relationship. The right ‘someone’ will come along when she comes along.
    That’s the way I have found all the special people in my life.
    Just a thought.

  7. It may sound mean, but Arianna needs to be the Alpha or she will find herself lost. Just my thought on it. It’s funny that I had wondered if she was lonely and you brought up the triad thing. I had heard of poly, but not triad except in prior comments on your blog. I think 3rd still can be valued as long as its not like the 3rd wheel–left out. Security is the strongest thing and for some reason that insecurity still rears it’s head. Adding a 3rd will nibble at it and boundaries and as I/You mentioned making her the Aplha submissive/slave will aide in showing her where she stands.

    I’m babbling because I am tired but hopefully I made a shred of sense.

    • Suzy
      It was actually Arianna who brought it up.
      Yes triad is much different than poly.
      Triad is a closed family.
      Always arianna would be the Alpha always no ifs and or butts.
      Much love to you….

  8. You and Arianna seem to have a special , unique relationship…why look for more if you are happy with each other? Are you not putting your relationship at risk? I could never see myself sharing in a deep loving relationship. Just my opinion here Vile 🙂 xx

    • Wow it has been a very long time. You may be right. We are looking at it in every direction.
      I hope your doing ok.

      • Yes it has..sorry i’ve not been blogging much lately. Am in the final leg of my degree and having a few health issues. I will be having an op on Monday..so wish me luck. Best wishes to you both in whatever you decide.

        Gemini X x x

      • I have much love for you. Yes I hope all goes well. As a matter of fact I know it will.
        Congratulations on your degree

  9. I found the idea appealing of having another woman in the family as a sister and friend to help out very intriguing, however maybe I don’t understand the dynamics of a triad. In my opinion, and realize I’m speaking from my own feelings on this and not other subs and I’ve not experienced a triad or poly relationship, but when I read further back in your blog about Arianna not wanting you and the third to have sex when she was not present and yet you and she could have sex without the third present, it felt as if there is a trust issue. I understand wanting to give Arianna a feeling of security and maybe at first in the beginning of the relationship this should be a rule until the trust has been established, however later in the family dynamics I would think the third would feel like a third wheel and a lack of trust from the other two if she had no one-on-one time with the Dom. This is just my opinion which is why I would not enter into a triad with this type of rule even though I would be there for all and not just the pleasure of the Dom.

    • It does take time to build not trust but for their friendship to grow.
      There also has to be rules and that is a rule Arianna requested be in place.
      I gave it some thought and I understand where she is coming from.
      Some is an insecurity issue but in time that would pass.
      Sex is not our main goal here , to have a sister is.
      It is very hard for subs and slaves to make close friends in the lifestyle.

    • I will answer more once I’m home

      • please understand I’m not criticizing, I’m just throwing out something that came to my mind which I haven’t heard anyone else voice, maybe you have already addressed this in other parts of your blog which I just haven’t seen yet or in private within your family. I do understand Arianna’s concern, bringing a third in sounds like it will be very tricky and I agree sex isn’t the main goal, it is however a very important part of any relationship, building the trust and friendship for Arrianna should be the main goal, with sex brought in later (at least that is my opinion) and maybe it wouldn’t be an issue at that point. You are definitely talking about some interesting dynamics and will take great care in being able to balance. I do wish you luck in being able to find a third which will fit nicely into your family.

      • I did not think anything bad. In a triad you have to have structure in order to have structure you have to have rules and guidelines.
        The idea is not to let anyone feel left out.
        This includes going out to eat the movies what ever.
        There could come a time when it could be separated. The goal is to make both feel equal.

      • yes, I agree.

      • I welcome all comments agree or disagree.

      • oh, I definitely agree with your last comment, making sure everyone feels equal is a good goal to have.

    • Dear Kate,
      I understand your concern and questioning the feelings behind the rule that only the third can partake in sexual relations when both Master and alpha Slave is present while the married Master and Slave can partake without the third.
      I have put myself as the third in a triad relationship prior to meeting Master Vile. In that dynamic, the sex rule was also in place. It was talked about from the beginning with only the possibility that it may change. My attitude of the beta was gratefulness. I was honored to be invited into that couples home and into their bed. I realized that they were the primary relationship and there was no jealousy on my part. I realized that the alpha was the wife and therefore had certain privileges that I may never attain. I was totally fine with that because they choose me and trusted me with their home and ending into the sanctity of their Union. They were under no obligation to do so and were open and honest with me right from the start. I admired their relationship and was careful not to come between their special bonding married time together.
      So, if the third came into Our relationship with an attitude of gratitude, they may also understand that with the sanctity of marriage comes certain privileges. I am speaking from humble experience. Those privileges may never be attained but the third should never feel that they are not less cared for. They would be integrated into the relationship in every way. And in that security they can thrive.

      Thanks for the thoughtful comment.

      ~Arianna

      • Thank you Arianna for explaining this in more detail. I have spoken to my Sir about this and he explained the dynamics between female submissives when there is more than one in a D/s family. This is new to me so I’m still learning and was trying to understand how someone entering into a relationship as the third would feel. As I further considered my own viewpoint, I did come to understand it would take someone very special to be able to enter as a third and would take great care of those involved to ensure she did not feel left out somehow. I appreciate the time you took to explain this to me and I can see how entering with a feeling of gratitude as you did would make all the difference in the world in how the relationships would form. I have no doubt my Sir and I will be having further discussions along these line as I learn more. Thank you.

        -Kate

      • Your very much welcome

      • Wow much better than what I tried to explain.
        Very nice

      • Thank You. Master

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