The Collar Is Earned

Over the years the Collar has lost much of its meaning. Today most come with Velcro, and many times the Dominant uses the same collar over and over, bought at a cheap adult store of even the flea market, and as your eating dinner out someplace its tossed at you and your told to put it on.

Just as the Dominant or Master has to remain consistent , the same goes for the submissive or slave, I am going to use an M’s relationship right now. A couple of weeks ago I made the statement that I did not believe a submissive should be allowed to wear a collar, for the most I still believe this, but there are true D’s relationships where the submissive does earn their collar, so I am kinda back tracking some.

The Velcro collar is really a your gonna suck my cock collar or I am going to fuck you collar nothing more. If you have earned your collar in a week, two weeks a month, you have to think what have I done to really earn the right to wear a collar. That should be your train of thought. Once the Velcro collar is placed around your neck the Dominants attitude then changes. He is more forceful, more arrogant , more non caring, you have seen this.

So the Dom you meet or Master they have to earn the right to be called Sir or Master. How do they do this ? They have to prove to you who and what they are. Surely this is something that cannot be done in a week or a month. They have to be everything they have told you and more. The Dominant has to prove that he has your best interest in mind, that he truly cares for you, that he truly wants you to be the best you can be. Again this cannot be done in a week or even a month, it is done by showing he can keep his word and stay consistent on a daily basis. So for someone to demand you call them Sir or Master is really pretty unrealistic. Who are you calling Sir or Master the Dominant or their ego? Are you going to feed into his ego ?

The Submissive or Slave earns their collar. How is this done ? It is by showing consistency , completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, following protocols on a daily basis. Can this be done in a week or even a month ? If your thinking with a clear mind you know the answer. Would you marry someone on the first date? Would you marry someone the first week? I really doubt it because you really do not even know them.

When I met Arianna I gave her a collar of protection. We went to local events, I had friends over who were in the lifestyle, we went out to dinner with friends in the lifestyle. I wanted her to see both sides of the fence. I wanted her to see other couples and how they lived. I wanted her to make new friends which has not really gone very well. Most of all I wanted to show her how a real M’s relationship worked.

I made no demands when it came to what she wanted to call me, for the longest she called me Vile, a month into the relationship she started to call me Sir. It would not be till almost a year before I placed a collar around her neck. The truth is she had proved way before she deserved my collar. As a matter of fact the first time I offered she refused stating she was not ready.

When we talk about a D’s relationship compared to an M’s relationship we are talking about two different worlds. Arianna has no rights at all. Arianna has no say at all, Arianna makes no decisions at all. Now this could be a bad thing if I did not have her best interest in mind, but the decisions I make effects both of us, so it is very important I keep a clear head. Because what I do does not just effect me it effects both.

June 15th of last year at 6.45am we were married, at that time we had our collaring ceremony, both the wedding and ceremony was performed by a slave. I placed the collar around Ariannas neck, and it has been off one time, and that was when we went to a jeweler to see if he would be able to add a diamond. It is locked, she cannot take it off, nor has she asked to take it off.  She does wear it to work, yes she works with the public. She does wear it around her family they know of our lifestyle, she does wear it around my family they do know of our lifestyle. She has the need to wear the collar, and when she reaches up to touch it, it reminds her of who and what she is.

Both have to remain consistent, both have to be willing to give, both have to have the want to give, both have to have the need to give, you have to have all of these ingredients for the relationship to work.

Once the collar is placed around the neck and it is locked it should not be removed. This is my belief.

There are play collars that are used, I do understand that. There is nothing wrong with wearing a collar during play. Wearing a collar during play gives the submissive a feeling of loss of control, maybe a little humiliation comes into play , it does spice things up.

There are several different collars. A collar of consideration, a collar of protection, a training collar, then the formal collar, so use a collar of ownership. I use two collars. A collar of protection, then the formal collar.

I am not speaking from a D’s aspect, I am strictly speaking from an M’s side of things. Master and Slave.

If you earn your collar, you will get so much more out of the relationship. If it is just giving to you, what meaning does it really have?

Image

Vile

5 Responses to “The Collar Is Earned”

  1. Reblogged this on The Joyful Submissive and commented:
    Love this.

  2. Wonderfully spoken Vile. I think this is one of your best works yet. It truly calls out the significance of the collar, specifically in an M/s relationship. Moreover, I appreciate that you’ve reconsidered those of us in D/s relationships and the significance of the traditionalist views of collaring.

    I too, believe there are those handing out such adornments like bubblegum trading cards. It cheapens the idea and the symbolism associated with the act and deep-seated roots of collaring. These views are shared by many, and hopefully a few more after reading and digesting your words.

    Much love and peace…

    -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

  3. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    Again a need to share again. Its how I feel about the Collar

  4. This is wonderful Vile, I totally enjoyed reading it, yes, the collar is earned, all hard work involved from both parties, thank you for sharing this with us! Happy Anniversary to the both of u! M

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