To Those Who Cheat

I give my opinions nothing more , I may not be much but I am a man with Morals, I am a man with pride, I am a man who lives by the truth , but most of all I am a man who is loyal to the end.

I was stuck in a bad marriage for 9 years because I was at Bush Gardens one year and as I was sitting there watching all these married couples pass me by who had children , I started thinking man I am missing out on a lot. The wife, the kid the dog, the house with a fence, cooking out with the smith’s I was missing out on something very special.

Chong had just left maybe I was just feeling lonely, my feelings were mixed, my mind was going a thousand miles an hour. So I found a wife. To this day I harbor some guilt, not because I still love her, that is so far from the truth, but because I lead her down a false path, I made her believe I was someone else, and for 8 1/2 years I lived a lie. The longer we were married to more it tore me up on the inside, I was dieing to get the fuck out, but I was going to try one thing. I was going to come clean about who I was and what I needed. Well that did not go over so well, and being married to the church lady did not help the situation at all. So I was asked to leave, and it was not until after I moved out Bea and I came into play. Now I had met Bea on line but we had not met each other until I moved out.

We had a son while I was married he will be 16 this year, and here is part of my morals coming out. I have not missed a child support payment in 16 years, although it is court ordered it does not come out of my pay check. 16 years not one payment has been missed and for many years I paid twice the amount that I was suppose to because I knew how she was struggling.  Again part of my morals.

Part of my morals when we were married I took vows, and many of you wrote your own vows, you swore to stand by each other through thick and thin for better or worse. You said it looking into each others eyes, and your husband or wife believed you, they took what you said to heart and trusted you.

Now there are circumstances that comes into light than can change those vows, If you are being abused, be it mentally or physically.. If you catch your spouse cheating, that is the unforgivable sin in my home. I told Arianna first thing if you cheat make sure that is who you want to be with because that is where you are moving. I refuse to sleep with someone who has been where I lay. The unforgivable sin, if you fuck around you are dead in my eyes.

Okay so we change, we are human, our needs change, not wants our needs. We begin to age and we want more out of life, so this is where the communication comes into play. You do have the right to express your needs, you have the right to tell your spouse how you have changed. If your spouse refuses to comply or try, then you have the right to leave, remember the VOWS you took now, for better or worse.

So the female cheats because she is not getting her kink met, her husband no longer communicates with her, they are no longer on the same intellectual level, hes hanging with the boys at the bar. You have the right to communicate, you have the right to express your needs. What you do not have the right to do is let someone other dude bang you and then go home to the man who has built the roof over your head, the man who pays your bills the man who puts food on your table, the father of your children, because this other dude is not going to share any of that responsibility, he is there for the pussy. The bad news is, the relationship will be short lived and you will be back to square one. The truth is you will get caught it is not when but how. You have to think is it fair to drag your children into your mess, to drag your whole family into your mess. Is it fair to catch something you cannot get a shot for and pass it on to your spouse. Again you took Vows.

The male who cheats, once a cheater always a cheater. So his wife will not suck cock, or refuses to do anal. He knew this before he took his what ? His Vows he knew this ahead of time, but at that point and time it was not a need because he had a steady piece of ass, he was or is getting a steady piece almost every night but the one thing missing was the cock sucking, being able to get the ass. Now it becomes a need because you told him no. If you tell a man NO then he needs it, it is in bedded in his brain now he has to have it.

Now we have google, I found Bea through yahoo profile searches which was the best. all you had to do was go to profiles and type in submissive or slave and a million names popped up. I had the world at my finger tips. The internet is a powerful mother fucker, you can find anything, including a bitch that will suck cock. someone who will take it up the ass, someone who will crawl to you,and someone who will sit by their phone and wait for your text or call.

You found your married Dom your married daddy. He is married to the worst bitch in the world, shes a fucking cunt, she is worthless, she is a bad mother, he wishes he was not still married to her, but you saved him your just what he needs now. He has been assuring you he is going to leave, but the time has to be right.

The bad thing is you fall for it, and you wait and you wait and you wait, but it never comes , he never moves out, even though she is so bad. She will not communicate with him, she will not have sex with him, she does not connect with him, she is so so bad, but he never leaves.

The truth is everything is fine on the home front except the sucking cock part, or the ass fucking, being able to tie you up, being able to spank you, you know the little things his bad wife wont do, but she does cook clean, probably works as well, and takes care of his children. He takes them out, they go on vacations together, school functions, they have cook outs with the smiths, while you sit and stare at your phone.

I am telling you this as a man not a pissed off woman, I am letting you in on how a male thinks , because I do not want to see you be someones bitch who is just there to suck cock once or twice a month.

If his life was so bad and he was treated so bad, you know what ? He would leave. He would pack his shit up and move the fuck out no matter the cost. No man is going to stay where he is not happy its not going to happen. On the other hand if he can stay home and get ass on the side, he will ride the storm out.

You know 30 years ago if you caught something you could go to the doctor and get a shot. Today that is not true, and most of you do not enforce any type of protection, putting your own life in danger. In the end you will be stuck alone, and your Dom or daddy is still cooking out with the smiths.

Some men for what ever reason are just close minded, I know dudes who don’t even like blow jobs, I know dudes who think anal sex is nasty. Some men see tying you up and spanking you as abuse. Some are just that stupid. A woman can tell their husband here I am you can do anything you want, and they think your sick, they think you need help. Like you I do not get it nor do I understand it.

If your an unhappy submissive and you have talked to your husband and he will not come around, if your kink means that much to you then leave. If you need to submit and he will not fill that dominant role then leave, but you better hope the one you move in with is going to be able to provide for you on all levels.

To the women who are subs or baby girls, and your seeing a married man.. He is not going to leave his wife, he is not going to leave the stability he has. He is not going to leave the mother of his children There are a few who will very few, but you have to look at his side of the world can you fill the shoes his wife can, because everything today comes down to money. If his wife is making a hundred grand a year and your making thirty grand a year, go on think about it, or maybe your not even working, the odds are not there, but if your a betting woman, go ahead and roll the dice.

I am just ranting, if your being cheated on it is not fair, if your the cheater its not fair. Somewhere in your head or heart if your seeing a married man, you have to be thinking about his wife, the one who gave birth to his children, the one who has built what he has, the one who has stood by all his bull shit. How would you feel if you were being cheated on? In a way you are because hes banging both of you.

Remember all you get is one side of the story, his side. If he says she does not care what he does, then it should be alright for you to talk to his wife. Last if you think you are the only one he is banging, your really dumb.




40 Responses to “To Those Who Cheat”

  1. Cinnamon Says:

    Totally on point Vile.

    I was the wife being cheated on. God only knows what he told the women he slept with.. and yes, it was women as in plural. I was amazed when I heard from one who was astounded that he would not only cheat on me, but her. ( Is that even possible? )

    I did anything and everything I could to make him happy… and he just wanted strange… He never wanted a divorce. He would never have left..
    Just one day I had enough….

    I hate reading the blogs of those who settle for the scraps of these men, when they deserve to be someone’s all.

    And anyone who cheats, is a liar. Why would you believe anything they say? Much less, participate in power exchange?


  2. Why is it once a cheater always a cheater? If he left his wife for another because he was not getting any why would he chest on the new person who was meeting his needs?

    • I am telling you from a males point of view if he cheated on his wife he will cheat on the next

    • Cinnamon Says:

      There are probably exceptions… but I’d say they are the extreme minority SLD.
      See my response to Vile… my ex husband is just another example of why he would cheat on the one meeting his needs. Because it wasn’t about needs at all.. It was about something new and different…..exciting.
      I wasn’t a perfect wife, but I’ll tell you I busted my ass to meet his needs. He didn’t need to cheat. He wanted to cheat.

    • This phrase struck me too and it is in my opinion a big cliché.
      I like this post very much. For me, cheating is an horrible act and knowing your trust has been broken very difficult to overcome. I’ve been cheated on a few times decades ago and has affected my trust in women for a very long time.

    • Once a cheater always a cheater and that goes the same for males and females Why most of the people cheat? The answer to that question will answer yours.
      Truth be told there is no simple answer as it may vary by different situations or personalities but in my experience there are some general rules or better say categories of people. We can make an essay on that subject and still haven’t answer the question.
      sadly enough by my experience those who cheat they do it because they can’t be happy with what they have, they have low self esteem and by bedding a new one they fill an empty hole in their empty soul (you know those who see a fuck as a trophy) and those who fail to understand sex is not an animal activity (a cock in a pussy) but a higher level of communication between two intellectual-spiritual creatures. So yes, all these kind of people both males and females will always be prone to cheating and do it again by the first chance they get.
      After all, one who honours his/her partner, respect them and truly love and care for them won’t cheat at all. If life and the situations changed them so much that they can’t be together any-more, lost all the magic of the past, then they will sit down and explain they have to go on separate ways. RESPECT will lead them first to break up and then find the next step in their life.

  3. Haha, imagine the horror and indignation of being the “other woman/man” who thought they were “the only one..” Only to find out they’d been used all along by the cheater. “Ohhh so sorry to inform you…. ” It was the only time I sunk to their level and yes… It felt damn good. My trust issues are monumental.

  4. There are exceptions to every rule, I couldn’t disagree more. Hope to be able to explain more later.

    • It is okay to disagree with me, what are the exceptions to the rules if you are married?
      I am not sure I follow you

      • Both her and I were married. I left. She will soon I am confident. Not a good situation, but sometimes love does conquer all.

      • I still see no exception. My hat goes off to you if it is working.
        I myself could never knowingly see a married woman.
        Love does conquer all , I made the mistake of seeing a married woman and did not know it. I have never felt so bad like I did for him.
        She fucked around for the kink he was and is a good provider.
        I myself could never step outside of a marriage, I spent nine years in a bad marriage and I stayed faithful until the day I left.
        As I stated you can disagree.

      • I understand, and do disagree. People often get married for selfish reasons. Personally I believe if it isn’t for completely unselfish reasons more often than not it will end, without any outside influence. I left for moral reasons, she stayed much longer than she should have for moral reasons.I appreciate your opinion, and your thoughts on the subject just the same.

      • I do not expect everyone to agree with me. It would be weird if everyone did.
        But look at the other doms who have commented.
        I hope yours works out well

  5. It is actually very encouraging to see someone, especially another man, with the same beliefs and thoughts as me. Being on Twitter for so long it just seems it is a giant hotbed of people looking for “extra curricular” activities, whether it’s a little sexting play, pic sharing, D/s or physical cheating.
    You are correct that they are all “unattached” or the spouse is “OK with it” or their marriage is shit. The truth is that relationships, especially marriages, are not easy. It a lot of work and a shit load of communication. People change and you have to have the courage to change with your partner.
    The cheating person has always been around but the virtual world sure has made it easier for these cheating people to meet. It has also made it much easier for people to hide behind a false persona. Every man is a dom looking to help the “troubled submissive”. Kudos to you for calling a spade a spade.

  6. Jane Doe Says:

    Wow. Many thanks for smacking some sense into me. You are so very right. I’m changing my direction. It is a reflection of my self worth, unfortunately, that I don’t deserve better, or I’m willing to take whatever scraps are thrown at me. If you know better, you do better. I know better.

  7. sweetbaby Says:

    My bf is done trying to “impress” me (i.e- no flowers, v-day acknowledgement, anniversary gifts.. ect).. he also is not open to try any kinks, and i have expressed that i’m changing.. going back to my normal self.. how i was when he met me. he changed me into someone i’m not and i allowed myself to live this way for several years now, he actually admits that he’s not good enough for me.. and i know he is not committed to making things work in my favor at all if i am to stay.. if i were it would be the same, nothing would change, and i would remain miserable.. now… i have an online dom, my bf hasn’t a clue, and i don’t really know much about my doms home life (starting to think he may not have one because of how busy he appears to be) and i don’t like to pry. he’s remained a private person since the beginning because of work.. i’m sure he has someone, whether it be other online subs, a wife, a gf.. idk i don’t ask.. he did mention to me that i am his one and only sub, and he could surely not find time for another one, despite when i may be unavailable (basically nights and weekends).. he tells me that we are destined, that i will always be his… he brings out the best of me, he makes me feel alive.. i have fallen for him, however, i’m not so naive to think i’m the only female in his life.. although he surely makes me feel like it! and he always talks about the future, saying he’s busy at work for “our” future, or when he can make me his.. so i really don’t know how to take any of this.. for now, i am just living day to day, and happy someone has freed me of my awful situation and yet has helped me to blossom.. taking it as it is, and hoping not to fall into a situation where i am too mesmerized by his handsome charm to get too deeply connected to him, if he is in fact, already taken by someone else. i also do not tolerate cheating, but he knows about my bf.. and has expressed his past experiences of helping women to cheat on their husbands (both women whom, he knows in real life personally ended up returning to their marriages).. you’ve introduced some pretty interesting ideas applicable to my situation.. i would love some insight!

    • You know I never understand the online Dom thing. There is a reason he’s online and not in person so your probably correct about him married or girl.
      I’ve always been hands on. Although I can see where it would be beneficial for you right now.
      Although if it’s more sexual that’s a different story.
      Keep smart and keep a clear head.
      Feel free to ask questions.
      The only thing you would be lacking is the structure and rules communication when needs then the being held.

      • I don’t understand some men either having the world and turning it down.

      • sweetbaby Says:

        Thank you! That definitely helps.. he has been busy at work and has let me in on what’s going on.. i know if i really want to know, i could ask.. he makes sure that communication be the infrastructure to our relationship.. and i know he would be livid if i asked any other dom for advice.. but i’m a shy one.. and this is my first d/s or dd/lg relationship. I’m coy about my unanswered questions because i don’t want to appear too clingy or nosy. he mentioned one night stands he recently had towards the beginning of us getting to know one another.. and has tried to get an apartment close by to where i live since we made things official because there is such a distance factor, but i told him not to because i think the area he proposed could be risky in the current circumstances.. Also, he likes to be able to let loose even at work even so i think that could be the reason for the whole online situation, besides the time he doesn’t have.. i honestly think it could honestly spin either way.. i know he goes on business trips often, i know he always has something big going on at work, and idk if he has a wife/children.. but he has me too.. and it’s just hard to tell where i stand i guess.. i’m leaving my boyfriend regardless, however, it would be nice to know more about him than he lets on.. but he does tell me what he wants me to know in the end which is… that we were intended to be together since birth, and we are meant for one another and we will always be meant for each other. so you understand my confusion i’m sure! thank you for answering, and being so helpful!

      • I truly do not understand his way of thinking.
        Now if he is married which is likely that still leaves you out and let me explain.
        Your birthday alone , Christmas alone , thanksgiving alone, vacation alone and you get one or two days a month, some months alone waiting for a text or a call maybe a short email.
        Your only allowed to call certain hrs.
        I do understand leaving your bf but don’t settle for less.
        Now I could be wrong I hope I am but never settle for less and never come between what a wife and maybe a mother has built….

      • sweetbaby Says:

        Nor do I! Absolutely! Maybe i don’t ask because of fear of the truth… and i just want a continuous feeling of bliss between us.. it is not right or honest if he does have someone in his life, and i could not continue a relationship with him knowing he was already involved.. i certainly do not want to know what it would feel like to be cheated, and i believe in karma 100%! …we speak every weekday, all day, even during some evenings/weekends. we video chat a few times a week, he writes me novels as e-mails.. we do not communicate via cell phone as it is too much of a risk on my end, he is very careful about my situation. the time we spend together ends up being more hourly than most couples spend in real time.. and he always speaks of whisking me off to some resort location, like it will happen in the near future.. as for the other holidays.. we have family in different states so that’s a different story.. our age gap is also a factor, and another hurdle to worry about if/once things become more serious. but i think i know what i have to do.. i have to ask, to allow myself to seek truth if we are so “promised”. he would want me to.. he wouldn’t want me feeling this way, or asking other dominants for advice! although it really gave me lots of insight to my situation and i’m thankful for that!

      • I hope and wish you find what your looking for. Just keep an open mind and be safe

  8. Vile- you’re correct about a lot of things, and sometimes off base. Here, yes, you’re on the mark. I won’t throw up on your blog about the details but both Mynx and I were cheated on in our first marriages. The signs are simple, your hunch is probably right, things really do seem abnormal, and yes, you should be suspicious and ask questions. If you’re telling the truth, you have nothing to hide, if not you’ll get caught. If you’re the one providing the other bed, you’ll feel like shit one day. The dude who fucked my first wife called me three years later crying like a little bitch, asking forgiveness for what he did, asking me to say it was okay. You know, for half a second I felt bad for him. Then I asked him how it felt to have guts turned inside out. How did feel to know he was being lied to the whole time. How did it feel to have “normal” turned upside down, inside out. I asked him how it felt to be fucking that great pussy while my son slept in the room next to his shame. He continued to apologize. I forgave him, made him feel better. But it made me feel relief.

    Before he hung up, I said, “I feel bad for you not only because you lied to my face and came crawling back asking forgiveness to make you feel better, but because life’s bitch and karma serves up a mean bowl of fuck you. Yes, I forgive you Don, but you got what was coming to you, didn’t you?” Here’s the only part I respected him for, he said, “Yes, life’s a bitch alright, and I got what I deserved, a broken heart, an empty bank account, and deserved it all for what I did to you, her and your son. I’m sorry.” The line went dead and he never called again.

    Karma does serve up a bad-ass plate of ‘fuck you’ when you’ve done someone else wrong. It’s just one more reason Mynx and I are so drawn to each other.

    Great rant Vile, one of many in fact.

    -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

    • Wow Tom that is some story. Yea I’ve been cheated on before and the dude was unemployed and no car had a fucking bicycle wow.
      Your right you always get caught. I never got that call. If I did I would of poured a jack lite a padrone and just listened.
      Then my question would of been. How did my cock taste?

      • That’s just vile, Mr Vile, lol! 🙂 A toast to the karma that fucks with the fuckers, and a hearty cloud of smoke and they’re gone!

  9. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    I am me I walk my own path and to the beat of my own drum

  10. missagathaarmstrong Says:

    I’ve been mulling this all day…. and it breaks my heart. I’ve said it before and no doubt I will say it again and again…. no matter whether vanilla or kinky … why do we sell ourselves for just a tiny bit of ‘part time affection’. why do we not value ourselves because at the end of the day … we are truly special creatures.

    I am not an envious or jealous girl – I never have been – it has always been me that commanded the next move – then I found my own Master – a Master of honour and goodness – He commands me now. He will be my only Master and i His only slave.

    I pray that one day we will realise that we are not doormats – that as we treasure, we should be treasured too.

    thank You Sir Vile as always

  11. Well, I may have just made a liar out of myself when I commented on your other post from today… I like this one as much as I like that one… I am so glad you are still blogging after all this time, your posts are just *correct* !! Thank you!

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