Why Protocols Are Needed
I do not believe many D’s type relationships have many protocols if any, after all a submissive in a D’s relationship can say no at any time, the submissive can refuse. The submissive can say I am not doing that.
How ever in an M’s relationship I believe the relationship runs much deeper. Here you have a slave who wants to fully submit, and a Master who wants to take on the responsibility.
In my experience there are not many Dominants who truly enforce rules on a daily basis, and many times if a rule is broken it is simply talked about and they move on.
So you have rules in place, if in the beginning you dump a 128 rules on a submissive or slave you will make them feel overwhelmed , this is setting them up for failure.
Once Arianna and I agreed to form a relationship I started out with a few rules, again none of my rules were sexual. I believe when a Dominant tries to enforce rules that are sexually based , one either he is not real, or two he is not looking out for the submissive. Rules are meant to help on a daily basis. Rules are meant to bring structure into your subs or slaves life. Your taking bad habits away and replacing with good habits.
Protocols are mainly for the M’s type relationship , and at first this was pretty confusing for Arianna when we attended munchs. She could not believe that others had no protocols to follow, she could not believe how others spoke out of place, or how they disrespected their Dominant while out in public. She could not believe how the submissive talked back to their Dominant.
The Collar even when you look at a D’s couple the submissive is rarely wearing their collar. I myself find this to be very disrespectful, and it has me to question who is really in charge. As I scroll through profiles on Fetlife, and even some on Facebook, very few submissive’s are wearing their collar.
Protocols are more less rituals the two of you work out together. Arianna has three protocols when out in public with me. Sometimes I enforce and there are times I kinda let things slide. It depends on what kind of day she has had. Three for public are 1 she is allowed to speak freely. 2 She can speak when spoken to. 3 She does not speak at all it would not matter if Moses was asking her for directions. Before speaking when at a lifestyle function she always ask for permission to speak. When Arianna speaks the room grows so quite you can hear a needle drop. I am not sure but people have made the comment that we are unique we are very few, but I do not see that.
Other protocols include, asking permission to sit, even if I am not here. Not eating before I take the first bite. Kneeling at the door when I arrive home. I choose what she will wear if we go out, including bra and panties. . If she has to use the bathroom at 2 am she wakes me and ask for permission.
If you have rules or protocols you must be consistent on a daily basis, what you are doing is creating habits. I cannot give you a time limit on how long it takes each is different, but once things are in a good flow, it will come natural.
This process will tell you if your submissive or slave is truly who they say they are. This is when you make the different between real and fantasy.
Married couples who are entering the lifestyle I view very different. The two work out what works between the two, so there are no set rules or protocols.
When I first met Arianna I told her what I needed, who I was and what I was about and I refused to bend. Then she came back with a counter offer, that I had to really think about.
Protocols are meant to provide structure , if you have neither rules or protocols that you enforce on a daily basis you really have nothing but kink , and with the submissive that plan will only go so far. It does not take long for the submissive to figure out something is wrong, but most just try and stick it out hoping things will get better.