Under Consideration ?

I just left a rant on fetlife  about putting someone Under Consideration..I am not sure even where to start. The rant was geared towards Dominants and those who are submissive.

Lets face it BDSM those 4 letters no longer has a meaning. It is now just mostly about swingers , and kink nothing more, As a matter of fact BDSM has changed some much in the last 10 years even the people I know have changed.

New people just entering the lifestyle come in blindly, and when asked a question and you give an answer you are automatically wrong, you do not know what your talking about.

In the rant not one time was a M’s relationship brought up, even when I explained my side I was simply ignored.

If the Dominant is serious about his stance within the lifestyle there are protocols we stand by. Consideration in my eyes is a courting process, like vanilla dating. I think we should move forward so I would like to put you under consideration. Most even have a consideration collar, but I do not take it that far.

If you go through the collaring protocols there is a consideration collar. What many of you fail to understand the collar you wear a couple of days a week or once a month is earned. Although there are a few of you who earned your collar sitting at Dennys on the first meet, I wonder how that worked out?

So the M’s lifestyle is more in depth than the D’s lifestyle would you agree? Most who are in a D’s lifestyle has no real rules to follow, very little structure if any, and most of the relationship is just about sucking and fucking would you agree ?

If you have less than a year in the lifestyle, scratch that is you have less than 5, 10 or maybe 15 years. What right do you have to tell me I am doing something wrong.

Okay so you the submissive or the Baby girl, you want the security, you want the spankings, you want the rough sex, but that is where it ends. Fuck the rules, because I bet there are not 5 who can tell me they follow rules on a daily basis, . You want everything except the responsibility .

So here is where the problem lays. You have an idea of what the lifestyle is suppose to be about and either you hook up with a total fake , or you hook up with someone who takes the lifestyle serious and you want no part of it.

I need someone to be there for me, to help me feel safe, to care and understand me. I want someone to work out all my problems for me and make everything oaky.

Oh wait you really want me to earn my collar? You want me to follow rules and have daily task? Wow  I am not sure if I can do that for you..

So what type of relationship do you want? Do you want half of a Dom? Or do you want the whole Dom?

Here is another post about the same subject


Maybe just maybe I read into it way to much.

You place a Slave under consideration, that means that she is no longer looking for another partner. It means the Master is no longer looking for another partner. The two can now continue training.

Most who are submissive do not wish to be trained in a D’s lifestyle , most think training is a waste of time. Most do not want to go that deep into a D’s relationship. I said most now not all.

It is true there are predators who use the under consideration as a tool, it makes it easy to take advantage of someone. These so called Doms see submissive being a weakness, when in fact a submissive or slave is very strong.

There are those who jump from Dom to Dom and your ending up with the same type of Dominant, and for what ever reason you will not stop long enough to breath, and sort things out before moving onto the next.

We are in a lifestyle were we are suppose to be us, we are suppose to be non-judgmental but just like the first link we are wrong.



18 Responses to “Under Consideration ?”

  1. littleannab Says:

    I knoq I wang a real dom. But my needs and that of my daddy are real. I want the

  2. Sounds like someone is desperate for sex, whenever, however, with whomever and how often they can get it without any commitment. Its a bit sad really. I am just looking at this objectively. Not biased either way. Personally i believe in relationships.

  3. I am with you on this except for the sucking and fucking for most D/s relations. Generalizing is never a good thing. Yet I agree that a lot of D/s relations are worth zip except for the s & f. ‘A lot” for me is less than “most”. I know you were ranting and here I am nagging you on semantics 😉
    Have a great weekend Vile.

  4. Symbolism without substance. Meaningless.

  5. Your rants are fun Vile, and encompass a great deal of truth. Mr Boli brings great wisdom too, in that, generalizations can can be misunderstood. Yes, my Mynx and I have had some very fun kinky fuckery, but I also think it’s similar to Mr Boli’s ideal in that it merely completes who we are outside of the bedroom in our D/s dynamic. It is a relationship of D/s 24/7 that’s not always perfect, but built on love and trust and appreciation for one-another. Life’s not perfect and neither are we. Children, parents, siblings, jobs, and life all add obstacles to some of our best ideas and plans. But it’s trust and communication which help us all to continue to evolve into a greater commitment for each other.

    I believe the folks you have directed your rant toward though, hear you loud and clear, their silence is deafening. When their pursuit of D/s is valued only as another hook-up, I guarantee there will be no longevity to their relationship. Drama will ensue, someone will get hurt either physically or emotionally or both, and they’ll be off to find the next piece of ass to abuse, or “would be D” to fuck over and leave high and dry. It’s a vicious circle, and, we appreciate your rants to interrupt that behavior.

    Rant on Mr Vile, rant on my friend! 🙂

    -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

    • It is always good to hear from weither you agree or you disagree.
      As much as I would like to think I am not perfect but if I died and I was reincarnated I would want to come back as me.
      There are those who will get hurt over and over again. Some will learn some will not

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