Reflecting On My Past , Fucking and Humiliation

I was looking at my Blog last night, the main page, and just scrolling down the topics seemed like it took forever.  Probably if you printed everything it would be a ream of paper maybe more.

I remember my first BDSM experience while I was just a teen, with Beverly in the woods. Everyone called her the school whore but she was not a whore she just liked to fuck. I never got that a man can fuck twenty women a week and he is a stud but a woman would be a whore. That is just so one sided.

When I was young I use to think something was wrong with me, 9th grade and up. Then it was not even about fucking, it was about pain, and humiliation.

Ive always felt inside that anal sex was a sign of submission although many view it different, but as a young teen even then I felt that it was total submission, looking back though I did not know the term submission. I owned you those were my thoughts.

As I had Beverly tied to the tree, and I sat down in front of her just looking and thinking, I could do anything to this bitch I wanted to, and she would take it. It was not because she liked it, it was because she wanted to be excepted, and like everyone else she wanted to be loved.

Even in High School I was a people watcher, I looked at how dudes would try to kiss up, just so they could hold hands walking down the hall, and pass little notes back and forth. I thought how fucking pathetic is that these dudes are like begging, for something they will probably never get.

Most girls were scared of me, and there were a few who were truly good friends, friends I never fucked with. I am weird in a sense because if I do not start out as a M’s in a relationship you become more of a Sister to me, and no matter what my thoughts are sex is out of the question.

My parents did okay even though they both had a drinking problem, and each was in and out of rehab all the time. We has a chicken business , eight chicken houses and each house held 80.000 chickens. , but I learned quick if I worked for my parents and they paid me I owed them something, so often I would work for nothing. Once I turned 16 I went to work at the old cotton mill after school, that was hmmm 1978, and then I was making 200.00 dollars a week. Once I turned 17 I joined the Army and that is when my life changed.

As I grew older my need to humiliate grew, and if you watch any of the public disgrace videos I have done much of that in my past, only those girls were paid. So although I do like the series, its not real.

While in Korea I saw first hand how some men were weak, and they bowed down to the pussy. A GI would go to a local bar, get drunk , pay 10.00 to get fucked and fall in love with the girl, go the the credit union get a 5.000 dollar loan and buy her freedom. Divorce his wife who was in the states, to marry a bar girl. The 5.000 dollars was just for the bar owner to pay off the girls debt, then came the real money. The back ground check, the physical , the visa, in the end he would end up spending 15.000 grand on some pussy. I suppose some were in love, but I am sure for the most the girls wanted a way out.

With me NO meant NO and it has always meant stop , No is the magic word, NO means stop right now. If you did not want to fuck then go get the fuck out. I was not going to beg for a piece of ass, because tomorrow was a whole new day.

I learned it was easy to spot a submissive in public. so on the weekends I would hit up the local mall . Think about this, and ive tried to explain this to many. Your walking in the mall or someplace where there is a lot of people. You walk past a woman, look at her in the eyes, and when you make eye contact, her eyes will drop. This is really true. It was then look at finger, if no ring it was conversation time.

Ive never been shy about approaching women, rejection never bothered me, I cannot think of a time when rejection did bother me, because I knew for every no there was a yes around the corner.

I always picked out women other dudes would not talk to, or the women that intimidated some men, that was the challenge . I had a rule never fuck someone you did not want to wake up with. I love beautiful woman. Beauty is not only in the face or body, Beauty if in the personality. I am not just attracted to a blonde or redhead , or petite, to average, or maybe a little chunky. I have a wide range of taste..

My first threesome was with sisters Tami and Bambi, that was hmm in early 89 or 90. The next day my beeper went off yea a beeper, so I called the number and it was Bambi she wanted to know if I wanted to go back out. I said really  ? I knew both of you all of 45 minutes, and we were at your house fucking, yea do me a favor and lose my number. They did not do anything together but I guess it was the taboo thing of being together, while I let Tami suck my cock, I face fucked Bambi, I fucked Tami in the pussy, but I fucked Bambi in the ass.

47 years old I woke up one morning and said dude what the fuck are you doing. I wanted more, I needed more. so I sat down and I compiled a list of everything I wanted out of a Slave.

Many of you who are jumping from Dominant to Dominant, Daddy Dom to Daddy Dom, have no real plan nor did you ever. You fall for the first line that catches your attention. Or maybe you let your insecurities get in your way.

So how many years are you willing to waist? How many years are you just going to throw away ? How many Doms are you going to go through before you stop your madness ? How many are you going to go through before you get hurt ?

You need a plan, if you need to write it on paper, and you stick to eat. You make a list and you check it off one by one. Question by question must be answered looking eye to eye.

Adding a third to our home. Adding a third must bring something to the table, it is not about money, or how much you can clean or cook. It is about you fitting in, and be willing to adapt. If your a true submissive then the adapting part would come natural.

Getting to know you, no one will chat , email or talk to Arianna until I say so. I protect what is mine. The truth is Arianna does not have a lot of time to just be chatting or emailing, although Brit was supposed to and never did. She has been a very dear friend for a long time. Now she is like the Bundy’s Married with children.

If I do not think your a fit, you will never have any contact at all. It is not to say others on here cannot contact Arianna, such as Bopeep and a few other. Just as friends , there are some good people on here.

As usual I get off track, someone made the comment the other day I must of messed up on a blog by copying and pasting something, but if she had been following my blogs she would of known I get off track a lot, then I just kinda flow back into it.

I do however feel some form of humiliation is needed in a D’s or M’s relationship, how extreme is up to the couple. I have known some to really get off on humiliation, it is really not my thing, but it is needed from time to time as kinda like a reminder. Hey this is your place. Nothing in public or in front of friends, it should be a private thing….

Much love

 

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Vile

4 Responses to “Reflecting On My Past , Fucking and Humiliation”

  1. Vile, you and DMW would have a lot to talk about, LOL. He is very good at spotting people’s weak points and moving in for the kill. 🙂 Much love to you and A as always.
    Peep

    • Thank you Peep and yes I do believe you are right about us talking.
      I enjoy good conversation with other male Doms, it does not happen often but I savor the time when it does.
      Much Love
      Vile

  2. Great read as always Vile. Wish you a great weekend.

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