I have Never Been So Offended

As the world knows Arianna and I have been looking at the possibility of adding a third to our home.
This is to add to the family. This is meant to not improve anything it is meant to help. At this point and time there is nothing that needs to be improved.

The third has nothing to do with sex, nor does it have anything to do with any kink. We meaning both wants to open our door and allow someone into our home.

You can take three and make a couple a triad a rectangle all ends connect, everyone is within arms reach. You function as one, everyone is there to help each other
The third is there to help the first, to be best friends, to the point they both feel like sisters. They both work together, there is no alpha or beta. Arianna would not be in charge but she would give direction.

Since my first post about us searching I have mentioned nothing about sex, kink bondage anything when it came to forming a Triad.
In the lifestyle it is hard for those who are submissive or slaves to find and keep friends. Most are full of problems and drama, and once they latch onto someone, they are the garbage dump.

So I will fix the problem we shall add another to our home. Let me explain something. This has nothing to do with looks per-say , it has nothing to do with your build, and it has nothing to do if your Bi sexual or not. It has to do with the submissive. It has to do with how well the submissive gets along with Arianna. Arianna is the deal breaker.

Lets forget about Vile for now , because Vile is out of the picture, until Arianna says Master there is a possibility here. Then I step in.
Now from the beginning the submissive and I would get to know each other, once you pass the nutty list, I then introduce the two of you, and I am out of the picture.

Again I have mention nothing about sex. This is not about sex, this is about forming a close tight family. A family that works together.

So this Baby girl who lives with her alpha, in their own apartment, their daddy is married and they both think hes going to leave his wife. He pays none of their bills because he wants them to be independent he treats the alpha like a princess then the beta is a tag along, he does not even have sex with her.
She is never included in any of the vacations, and she cannot see she is being used. So we had been talking, and I am thinking okay this may just work.
We had a lot in common, the same interest and our talks were not about sex.

Her comment was I was looking for a third for all the wrong reasons. I wanted lust. Lust was making me look for a third. I was only interested in sex.
This is someone who was supposedly following mine and Ariannas blog. It now seemed like she was saying Arianna was nothing or she meant nothing to me, it was just Lust. Wow

The lag post I did about abuse, and isolation, making her shut her blog down because she wanted to meet others like her. yup

We have a lot to offer the right one, a very loving home, with no drama, no arguing, no fighting, no abuse, and being part where everyone helps each other grow, it has nothing to do with LUST
Vile

17 Responses to “I have Never Been So Offended”

  1. I do not understand how she came to that conclusion after reading both of your blogs.

  2. lisazee Says:

    Neither do I v. Vile has said more than once it is about Arianna. I just think it is awful that some people in the lifestyle are so busy with drama that they can’t be a good friend. I have 2 women that I call them both my best friends. They are sisters to me. One used to call my mom, mom because hers had passed away. Mine is gone now too. But anyway, Arianna sounds like she would make a great friend/sister.

  3. This beats me too, it is a very strange reaction. I’m following your blog and indeed, your search for a Triad had nothing to do with sex. You are very clear about that. I cannot say more as I don’t know the other actors but she seems to have a troubled spirit.

  4. She just didn’t understand you or the beautiful life you are looking for.
    People looking in think that the life we have is wrong, incomplete, one sided. But if they looked closer they would see Dominate men caring for and loving their consensual submissive women who just might require a little more hands on, a few more guidelines. Not because they are being treated badly but because they are so loved that it is just another way to show affection.
    I try very hard to always listen and have an open mind to others. If find it so hard and almost heart breaking when Daddy and I are judged for our choices.
    I say almost because really all I care about is that Daddy is happy with me and our life.

  5. Vile, why don’t you go into detail about what you think a 3rd would gain from the Triad. I know that Arianna would gain a friend, someone to share tasks and conversation with~ You state that you have a no drama home and that they would be included with travel, no fighting, etc. That is very nice. But, from the outside — I don’t really see what you are giving another submissive to join you, beyond your basics.

    Let’s take me, I can speak from my standpoint. I am successful, I don’t live with drama, heartache or headache. I love friends, but I don’t have a need more friends. I don’t need more tasks randomly — they have to be tasks for someone I want to serve.

    What do you, as a couple have that could be offered to me?

    No sex, your focus is Arianna – she is Alpha, no matter what you say if she makes the final decisions between the two of us. You are not offering much protocol, rules or attention for me. I make a good wage, I have a place to live. I don’t need you to take care of those things for me, why should I share my wages with you two?

    I know that I am not what you two are looking for — but I don’t really get what you ARE looking for as a third~ What do you offer that is unique and goes beyond someone’s basic living needs.

    I think you are looking for someone who is in need of a bit of help. Someone who cannot make it one their own. Someone who needs a team, needs a home. Needy.

    Whew — sorry, got on a roll. Please delete this if I have offended.

    • You have not Offended me in anyway at all.

      We do well dievca, we have very little debt we live in a nice house, an older home built in the last 30’s we love it. The power bill not so much.

      So if you have lived poly or maybe you have lived in a Triad before I do not know.
      If you are active in the community most poly family’s are full of drama, and never ending problems..
      So whose fault is that ? I do not have a clue.
      There are many who are submissive who are seeking just what we have to offer, it has nothing to do with money. What we have to offer to someone who is looking for a nice stable home, stress free, drama, and problem free.
      I know this because of the emails I receive weekly.

      The lifestyle branches off into many different areas, while I do not understand a Male Dominant who is a switch, or why someone would want to live as a puppy, or a kitten. Why someone thrives off of humiliation I do not judge..
      I am sure it is easy for you to make friends, it is easy for me to make friends as a matter of fact most people who meet me love me.
      You come up the line, why does someone choose to live as a baby girl, a submissive or a slave?

      Have you ever sit down with a real M’s couple and just talked to them? We are very different indeed, our structure is very different, our protocols are very different, and our rules.
      There is a huge difference between a submissive and a slave, a submissive submits when they feel like it.
      Slaves do go through a training process, Arianna will tell you it was a 90 day boot camp.

      So for someone who is looking for a triad we have a lot to offer, again we do not care how much you make. Although one would contribute to the home it would be way way less that what one would think.

      I am not out to rescue anyone. I have opened my doors to those in trouble before and I asked for nothing in return.

      But for this girl to say I was looking for a third because I lusted, I was only interested in pussy, that is what upset me, and this was someone who has been following my blog.

      It was not even my idea, Arianna brought it up. It is her who has the need, and it has nothing to do with someone being bi sexual.
      It is about forming a family. The third may not even have to work.
      I understand what you and foxy are saying, maybe I am sharing to much of our life.
      I just wanted to show people there are M’s couples who are happy and it can work, and work well.

      It is not easy for Arianna to make friends. While she does have friends at work, they really have nothing in common.
      The friends in the lifestyle that she has met and meets are just looking for someone to dump their problems on, or want to talk about how others are so fucked up.
      I am sorry that you do not understand where we are coming from.
      I am not nor was I offended in any way.

      Last, I am not the deciding factor, that would be Arianna.
      The process has been and three so far, I talk to and get to know. Once I find out their not full of drama, or problems and they are serious I then introduce them to Arianna, and I drop out of the picture.
      The third and Arianna would have to become friends, the two would want to get to know each other. That has not happened as of yet, and it may never happen.
      Much Love
      I hope I answered

      • Your post triggered my questions. The Baby Girl? not worth me paying attention to her, time stealer — I had moved on to my curiosity of what would work for your family. (Uhhh, problem solver…can you tell?)

        That’s great about lack of debt, nice house, etc. I am glad for you. I work hard and would expect that out of my peers that I am considering living with. What is the more?

        I, obviously, don’t seek a triad. Please note that I run into many different types of relationships in the City and my adage is “Whatever Works”, plus “Don’t Pass Judgement”. I am not involved in the BDSM community in NYC – Master isn’t either. He stepped away. This could be my lack of information. So I seek it from you.

        I just hear you continually mention “no drama” and then you do offer some things that I consider basic life items. The bread, not the cake.

        You don’t share too much, you don’t share enough for me to understand the draw to your Triad. Sorry. I must be missing something.

        I was asking what you as a couple offer as value to someone. This doesn’t have to do with money — what is the unique relationship you offer? How could I shine as a submissive in your Triad? How would you make my life better?

        OK, I will leave you alone. Thank you for trying to ease my confusion. I may never “get it”.

        I will just wish you good luck and good faith.

        PS. my very close friends and family get the D/s – and are happy for me, but I don’t feel the need to have them live my life with Master. So, again, I probably just don’t get it. (Consider me not the sharpest knife in the drawer.) XO

      • I will try and explain more tomorrow as well as arianna.
        No worries
        Much love

  6. I have to go with dievca on this one.
    Could I get a boyfriend to satisfy my sexual needs?
    I love the roommate, serving, best friends part- I totally get that. I have a real attachment issue. I have a hard time being close to people. So the family aspect is appealing.
    But….
    I may run out of batteries in a Triad without sex. Lol

    I love your ideas about your triad so far and your openness in sharing them. This is just another thing to consider in your search.

    PS. I’m not suggesting that I am your or Arianna’s type at all. I don’t even live in your country. Hehe

    • Very good answer to both you and dievca and I can agree with both of you.
      Although the triad is not about sex in a whole it would take place in time.
      What we need to understand is we are all different, we all have different needs.

      The way we socialize is different. How many Poly relationships has either of you seen, or triad.

      I know a couple of poly relationships now and wow total disasters , nothing but drama , fighting, it just goes on and on.
      There are many who are seeking a poly family and or a triad. The things I spoke of is what we have to offer .
      It is not about money we both work and do well…

      Most poly family’s do not even live together, while there are a few that do.
      The Triad is closed to just the three, of course sex would happen but that would take time.

      Some people make friends easy, some want friends, but find it hard, again the different thing.

      I spent 10 years in the army while I could run 10 or 12 miles there were many who could not. Today I could not.

      Rescue that is not what I am about, I cannot fix someone.
      I have helped in the past I have taking subs and baby girls in who were abused, and I got nothing in return, nothing, I wanted nothing.

      So you live your life as a Slave, that is a path that one chooses, needs, it is not a want.
      You as a slave still needs that interaction, with others and yet you are alone.
      You have friends at work to talk to but you talk about work and nothing else.
      Would get boring pretty fast and lonely.
      So Arianna brought up the idea about a sister coming into the home, it was not my idea, nor had I ever thought about it before she brought it up.

      The comment that was made to me was I was doing this for myself out of total lust, that is what offended me and maybe it should not have.

      I am not sure if I explained it right or not I hope I did.
      In the beginning Arianna just wanted an in service slave but after much thinking she now knows it would have to be more.
      I hate the word Alpha or Beta. I have spoke to some who find that term degrading.

      Arianna could not be an alpha she does not have that in her……

      I hope I made something clear here.

      • This makes perfect sense to me now.
        I never thought the Triad was for you. Which is kool.
        I always thought it was for Arianna. You will be happy if Arianna is happy and the third is happy.
        I would be open to something like your triad so I do think you will find someone who lives near you who you can start to develop such a relationship. It sounds like you are both willing to take your time and be patient.

  7. lisazee Says:

    I can see why you were offended. It makes you sound like one of the guys you have talked about that want “different flavors” when that isn’t what you are about. Some people will always find a way to see what others see and understand and somehow have their brain scramble it.

  8. lisazee Says:

    To be clear, not talking about dievca or foxy. They were just asking questions.

  9. I can understand how you would find that offensive. I don’t know what it is about some people who think they just have to interject their own biases and opinions into the motives of others when it’s certainly none of their business, I just don’t know. I know you don’t need to be told this, because I doubt this was your first taste: But when you hang your ‘wash’ out on the Internet, so to speak, every now and then you’re just going to have to swat a few bugs.

    Please don’t let this affect you, either. I personally love reading your blog posts. I enjoy hearing about your dynamic with Arianna. I think you both have talked this through and done your research. I think you know what you’re doing. And I think you do have a stable and loving household to offer. Whomever you eventually chose, is a very, very fortunate submissive.

    • Thank you Maren

      Yes you are correct about my Laundry. Everything here is my opinion and nothing more.
      My life , my thoughts, my needs and my beautiful wife and Slave.
      This is how I get to vent, this is where I get to be free and be who I am.
      In my everyday life while out I have to be a fake, I have to be someone I am not. That is not fair to me or the others I meet and I am being someone else.

      I want to show people a D’s or M’s relationship can work and work well. What I am trying to do is guide the mislead in the right direction, nothing more.
      I also feel I have the need to share.
      I am glad everyone does not agree with me the sad thing is very few people speak up.
      875 post 252.000 visitors , I can count on my hand how many has spoken out and did not agree with me, that is sad.
      Because if everyone thought like me.
      The world would be perfect.

  10. Vile- a couple of thoughts… Yup, how could she have said that if she had in fact been following your blogs? Perhaps it was a suggestive approach on her part in hopeful anticipation of participating sexually with you and miss Arianna? Without being there I’m just not sure.

    The other thought I had: at least she was honest and up front with you. For the sake of gaining access to “the family” she could have held her tongue and not allowed that side to be exposed. So perhaps being thankful of that is a good thing?

    Either way, how do you feel about the idea of sharing miss Arianna with her? How does (or would) miss Arianna feel about sharing you with her? Would it be a be a bad thing if everyone goes into it with their collective eyes wide open, but in small, cautious, somewhat predictable steps?

    For me, just an observation, she gets props for her honesty, after all, isn’t that the foundation of the best relationships?

    -Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)

    • Again I so agree with you.
      Things I did notice though, a very misunderstood young woman, who is truly clueless.

      That is okay I need to make something clear though, Neither Arianna nor I are using wordpress as a dating site.
      We are contacted by women on a regular basis bit I would never see anything coming of it.
      It could but I doubt it…..

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