There have been a string of Deaths in the BDSM community over the last year. Two recent was a man in Tennessee who died after being bound and left alone for more than 20 hrs. His wife is being charged , or has been. The idea was probably his but she should of been there the whole time.
Then the recent suicide of a 22 year old submissive. I will call her Pocketmouse the few times I met her she was a very bubbly soul, with a lot of energy.
Once you enter into a relationship it is only then the true colors start to come to light. Once you move in things can change from good to bad at the blink of an eye.
Some have even said well they can just leave, well you know it is not always that easy. Most feel trapped and they have no where to turn, and the abuse just continues to grow and one feels smothered.
Okay , so most of my blog is not about kinky shit, its not about how I fuck my slave.
Just as people stand on the street corner and scream at the top of their lungs Jesus saves. I do the same when it comes to violence and abuse..
If I bore you or you do not agree with me, then don’t click on the link. If you think I am wrong then speak up, although I think I know everything I just may see it your way. Anything is possible.
I found this on Fetlife someone shared it and gave permission to use it…
It gives a ton of warning signs to look out for. It does not have to be everyone of them, if you recognize just a few seek help…..
You can even reach out to me…..
In light of and in response to the recent incident in TN and other incidents that have come to light, I’m posting these red flags. Take heed no matter how you identify yourself; s-type, D-type, Top, bottom or anything in between.
•Tries to separate you from your friends, family or BDSM community.
•Avoids talking about personal details. Gets mad when you ask or quickly ends the conversation or answers questions with questions.
•Has no BDSM references or friends you can talk to. Gets angry when you ask for references or ask around about them.
•Is inconsistent with details about themselves. Does not give you their home and work phone number at the appropriate time.
•Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets mad if you try to contact them at other times.
•Criticizes the BDSM community and refuses to participate, especially if they never were part of it.
•Consistently breaks promises. Always finds excuses for not meeting.
•Always puts blame on others for things going wrong. Does not take personal responsibility.
•Has bad relationships with most or all of their family members.
•Pressures you into doing things you do not want to do. Does not respect your limits, negotiations or contracts.
•Pushes you into a D/s relationship too fast.
•Falls in love with you way too fast and swears undying love before even meeting you.
•Hides behind their D/s authority and says that their authority should not be questioned.
•Tries to make you feel guilty for not being good enough. Says that you are not a “True” sub.
•Loses control of their emotions in arguments and regresses to yelling, name-calling and blame.
•Puts you down in front of other people.
•Turns instantly on their friends, going from best friend to arch enemy at the drop of a hat.
•Treats you lovingly and respectfully one day and then harshly and accusingly the next.
•Goes to great lengths to get revenge on people.
•Lies or withholds information.
•Cheats on you or is overly jealous.
•Will not discuss what your possible future relationship could be like. Tries to keep you in the dark about what might happen next in the relationship.
•Does not respect your feelings, rights, or opinions. Belittles your ideas. Blames you for your hurt feelings.
•Abuses alcohol or other drugs.
•Is constantly asking for large amounts of money from you or others.
•Threatens suicide or other forms of self-harm.
•Deliberately saying or doing things that result in getting themselves seriously hurt.
•Monitors your communications (emails, phone calls, chats) with others.
•Only interacts with you in a kinky or sexual manner as if role-playing. Will not have normal everyday vanilla conversations.
•Never shows you their human side. Is emotionless. Hides their vulnerability behind their D/s role.
•Has multiple online identities for interacting with the same communities.
•Disappears from communication for days or weeks at a time without explanation.
•Is rude to public servants such as waitresses, cashiers and janitors.
•Never says thank you, excuse me or I am sorry to anyone.
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