Interview With A Dominant
Today I am going to talk about a very good friend of mine although we have never met in the future it is my intentions to do so.
I also have one more guest that I am in the process of preparing questions for another Interview with another Dom.
I also plan on doing several more in the near future.
Franco Bolli has been blogging for sometime, and I am going to call him the sensual Dominant of BDSM. Mr Bolli has been on an awesome journey and is now in love with his princess.
If you have not guessed we are total opposites, when it comes to the lifestyle, maybe I could take a few sensitivity classes from him, because I am really lacking in that area I do believe.
Mr Bolli has a way of really expressing himself , in a very calm and sensual way. Which I do find very interesting. I do at times wish I could write as good as the others on here, but I am just me..
Here is his link I think you will enjoy his blog if you have not already been there.
Now the reason I started the Interviews with those who are Submissive and Dominant, is so everyone could get a real inside peak at what others are thinking and how they really view the lifestyle.
Sometimes we can blog about ourselves but when your asked questions and you answer them with honesty you can learn a lot more….
So here we go…
1 When did you first become interested in BDSM ?
I got interested in BDSM long before I knew what it was called. I remember, as a kid, getting warm glows in my belly when in series like Ivanhoe (1958-1959) or movies I saw chained women being held in dungeons.
Around age 8 I found in my parent’s bedroom drawer an illustrated catalogue with paintings made by the Belgian surrealistic painter Paul Delvaux. Those strange landscapes with sharp dressed men wearing bowlers and naked women with huge black triangles between their legs were a visual feast and my pre-sexual fantasies thrived on it for years to come.
The French movie “Histoire d’O”, I was 17, opened my eyes. It was what I dreamt of, fantasized about, wanted in a relation.
BDSM stayed dormant for decades though. It was about never finding the right partner. Of course I had a few flings but they never ignited.
After my divorce, when I had my rucksack back in order, I subscribed on a dating site with a more BDSM like profile but in vain.
I met Princess at a parent’s evening at Little A’s school and I instantly knew she was the one I had been waiting for all my life. We met each other’s needs, were completely compatible and gradually our love life roughened up. Princess and I enjoy the BDSM in our relation to its fullest and it has given us so much pleasure and fulfillment. We even followed a Shibari workshop.
So I think I’ve always been very interested in the lifestyle but until Princess never really had a chance to explore it in depth except for images, books and fantasies.
2 When did you know you wanted to step into that Dominant role, and has it changed your way of thinking?
I’ve always been sexually Dominant, it is the way I am wired. For me BDSM and Dominance go hand in hand. Yet the D/s dynamic started later on in our relationship, months after we had welcomed BDSM. That too came quite naturally.
I am not sure if it has changed my way of thinking in a way that I am aware of. Being in an active Dominant role and enjoying a BDSM love life has freed me as it enabled me to be who I really am.
It goes without saying that at the beginning of our BDSM relation I had to get rid of some educational prejudices style “a man does not hit a woman” even if, deep down, I knew it is consensual.
I know Princess still has some moments, remnants of her education, when she puts in question her submissiveness.
Princess and I talk a lot about the lifestyle though, like about our viewpoints, fantasies, wishes and that is a very good thing.
3 You and Princess have really grown, what is it you have noticed the most between the two of you?
We have grown in different areas and we have evolved not only as a couple but as individuals too.
I guess the way we talk, communicate, and how we trust each other completely are, for me, first ones in a relation and extremely valuable.
One a more sexual level I can say I have never given myself so completely as with Princess and that too is vice versa.
As a couple we have not only become much stronger, as individuals we have gained strength too.
When summing it all up I can safely say that over time we have become, all levels of our relationship, One.
4 You have mentioned on more than one account you and princess going to The Fetish Cafe. What was the experience like for the both of you?
Playing at the Fetish Café beats playing at home due to the unique environment and the toys like a pillory, Saint Andrews Cross and winch. We also wanted to meet other people in the lifestyle. We eventually did and even hired the place for a few hours with two other couples for private play.
Going to the Fetish Cafe is fun, something to look forward to, a place where we can meet and feel at home amidst kindred spirits. We also like to watch and being watched while playing.
5 You do not live in a TPE relationship as of now, Total Power Exchange. Are there plans in the future for such a move?
Between Princess and I there is already some Power Exchange established. Princess likes it when in certain domains I take control. Planning our holiday like where and how and also making the reservations is an example. This does not imply I don’t talk to her about the plans.
Next to that and on a day-to-day basis there are things Princess is better at than me and vice versa so we complement one another.
I talked this question over with Princess and we both agree, TPE is not something that would work for us.
6 Being new to the lifestyle are there any rules you have in place or are you just filling things out for now?
We have only a few rules in place but I’m sure there will be more installed when we finally get to live together.
Princess is not allowed to come without permission. Her orgasms are under my control and she has to thank me for every orgasm I give her. When Princess is not at my place any form of self-pleasuring is prohibited.
When we go to bed Princess will always make sure to be in our room before me. She will be waiting next to our bed, kneeled. Princess has a red cushion for that purpose. She makes sure the cushion comes with us on weekends or holidays when we sleep elsewhere.
Princess’ body is mine to use whenever, wherever and how I see fit and Princess makes sure she is always ready to serve me.
7. Before you found the world of BDSM were you into the kink?
Not really. Decades ago I had fantasies about the world of swingers. One evening I ended up with married swingers’ couple and third man in their bedroom. It was fun but I knew instantly it was not what I was looking for. If you enjoy an ice cream with your partner or with a bunch it still is Vanilla. So it was a one-time experience but I learned a lot about myself though.
8. How has Princess helped you grow?
Princess has helped me grow in so many ways. With so much patience she gradually took away my trust issues.
Princess feeds my creativity by challenging me, by being my muse, by motivating me. Princess pushed me into writing again and for that I am very grateful.
Princess has given me the opportunity to fully express myself on so many levels.
Princess has fully liberated me, freed my spirit and made me into a much better man. A caring man, a loving man, an emphatic man, self-confident and with Princess at my side for the first time in my life I see clear and enjoy every moment at its fullest.
Much love to Mr. Franco Bolli, he put a lot of thought into these questions before answering..