BDSM , Depression, And Those Who Are Cutters

It is no secret Depression is running wild today. 1 in 10 adults suffer from some type of depression.

http://www.cdc.gov/features/dsdepression/
An Estimated 1 in 10 U.S. Adults Report Depression

http://www.thementalhealthblog.com/2013/10/teenage-depression-and-suicide-statistics/

1 out of 8 teenagers are identified as having depression.
Depression is twice as more likely to affect females compared to males.
Approximately 20% of teenagers may suffer from teen depression before they achieve adulthood.
Around 5% of teens may experience major depressive disorder at any one point in their life.
30 percent of teenagers with depression also experience a drug abuse problem.
Between 20 to 50 percent of adolescents are affected by depression who have a family history of depression or some other mental disorder.
Depressed teens are more likely to have difficulty at schools and at jobs, and to struggle with relationship.
It is the sixth leading cause of death among the young children age 5-14.
Many adolescents with depression will suffer from more than one episode and 70 percent teens may have more than one episode before adulthood.
Teens with major depression seem to catch physical health problems more frequent than other teenagers.
In the United States, about 5,000 teens who experience depression commit suicide every year.
Most teenage depression can be effectively treated with medication, psychotherapy or combined treatment. Youngsters are more likely to react to treatment when they get it early in the course of their health issues

Now while I do not have a PHD, I am going to say these number are a little higher just because of the unreported cases there are. You may even be able to bump it another 3 or 4%.

There are over 5000 cases of teen suicide every years, and most come from families who suffer from some type of mental disorder.

Those who are in the lifestyle, the depression number run much higher. I am not sure what the connection between depression and BDSM are, but there is a clear pattern.

That is why if you are a submissive or slave, and you suffer from some type of depression, it is very important you find an experienced Dominant if you should choose to take that path. You need someone who not only cares about you but understands you.

http://www.teenhelp.com/teen-health/cutting-stats-treatment.html

Statistics on teen cutting are hard to come by because so few studies have been done on the subject.

Broad estimates are that about one percent of the total U.S. population, or between 2 and 3 million people, exhibit some type of self-abusive behavior. But that number includes those with eating disorders like anorexia, as well as those who self injure. (1)

A 2002 study published in the British Medical Journal estimated that 13 percent of British 15- and 16-year-olds purposely injure themselves. (2)

In the U.S., it’s estimated that one in every 200 girls between 13 and 19 years old, or one-half of one percent, cut themselves regularly. Those who cut comprise about 70 percent of teen girls who self injure.

Now these numbers are pretty old, so I am sure the numbers have grown, and will continue to grow, until someone mainly the parents be held accountable.

Since the majority of my relationships have been long term, well for the most, I have been with two cutters, those were chong and Bea, bea being the worse.

In both relationships I was able to help the two over come the cutting. Never at one time did I try to discourage the cutting, that is working against them and what they are feeling.
The thing I had to do was try to understand what made them want to do such a thing. Both gave the same answers it was a release, a release of deep inner pain.

Chong was really easy, she did not come from an abusive family, she had moved to the US at the age of 18, and had entered many abusive relationships. It was not long after we had moved in together, the cutting stopped. It was through hours and hours of communication, and listening to her, and showing that I cared, she slowly began to stop, it was not something that happened over night.
Chong suffered from depression, and was on no medication, but most of her depression was from having no family in the US and no one that really cared about her.
I got her in to see a doctor and one prescription of wellbutrin and in about 45 days she was a new person, she made a 360 degree turn around.

Bea was much different, what looked like the everyday go lucky family was not what it really was.
Bea was more of an introvert she felt out of place and only had one true friend, who was also a cutter.
Bea was forced to go to counseling, her mother would stand in the bathroom while she pissed in a cup, because they knew she was on drugs.

While in counseling she was forced to set in group settings, and the result was she never opened up. She ended up telling the doctors what they wanted to hear.
She was 18 when we moved in together, and I was 37, her parents went fucking nuts, but you know what I was now in charge.

I remember the first time I caught her cutting, I did most of the cooking, so dinner was almost finished and I walked in the bedroom, and there she was sitting on the bed.
I looked and said hey when your done dinner is finished. It was maybe 5 minutes and she walked out, we ate no conversation, then I instructed her to wash dishes.

Once finished I told her to go get her razor blade and she just looked at me. I said go get the razor blade now.
Once back we were sitting on the couch and I asked her, where is the place that feels the best, and she pointed to her thigh. I pulled my pants off and told her to hand me the blade and she looked at me confused.

I took the blade from her and I started to cut myself and her hand stopped me. I pushed it back and I cut my inner thigh. Fucking ouch, wow that shit hurts what the fuck. Bea said you don’t understand , my reply was I understand more than you think.

It started around the 5th grade she was blamed for everything, she could do nothing right. Her parents would fight every night, screaming and yelling calling each other names, but they failed to see was the toll they were taking on their daughter.

What is that around your neck ? She said your collar. What does that mean? It means you own me. What do I own ? You own all of me. Inside out correct? Yes Master inside out.

Positive reinforcement is the greatest drug in the world. Showing someone they are loved and cared for is the greatest drug in the world, communication is the greatest drug in the world, and the funny thing is all of those prescriptions are free, no doctor needed.

The more we communicated, the more she trusted me. It was not long she began to open up to me and sure enough she had been molested by a family member when she was around the age of 5. Ahhh the root, every problem has a root, and she never trusted anyone enough to share that root until now. The abuse went on for about 4 years.
I found out in six months what her parents could not find out in 18 years, all they knew was it was her fault and only her fault. Someone had to take one for the team and it might as well be her.

some eight months into the relationship we were talking and she just busted out laughing. I was in total shock because I had never even seen her smile.

I started with small rewards for not cutting. Dinner dates, movies, long drives, and at times clothes.

Even though our split was somewhat messed up, I understood why she left the way she did, its all good.

Today she is a teacher, married with two kids, so yea I did okay..

Every problem has a root, and if you just medicate the problem they never get better. Group setting do not always work, because if they do open up, it is a false door they are opening. You are being told what you want to hear.
Trust is the same in everyone it takes time, and if they do not trust like I said when you open the door it goes no where.

So now today if you Google BDSM and mental health there are very few negative articles, in fact most are positive when it comes to the lifestyle and it is consensual.

I have spoken to two of Arianna’s doctors and both agreed the lifestyle we are living is good for arianna and beneficial for her as well. Living in a structured home with love and no drama. That is two out of two.

The parents need to take a bigger role in not only their children, but as a family. There has to be a time in the evening when all TV’s and cell phones are cut off, and you talk, but you talk and you listen.

The parents may even have to look for other work if your out of the home more than 45 or 50 hours a week

Don’t get me wrong the teen has to be held accountable but only if they should be not because it is easier. Today it is much easier to bring in the Xbox or the play station, than it is to take the responsibility that parents should.
The thing most parents forget is they did not ask to be brought into this world, you Mom and Dad brought them in.

So you look at the suicides , and the shootings at the schools, there was something wrong, something bad wrong, and the parents were to blind to see.

BDSM

In my view is healthy again I do not have a PHD but many times you can have a PHD and still be a fucking dumb ass.

If you the submissive are in a well structured home, with rules that really benefit you. You have an open line of communication, and you trust I mean really trust, you can live a healthy life and be happy.
You may not find yourself jumping up and down with joy, but you will feel stability in your life.
Consensual is the key word, and being with someone who understands you. That means you have to be honest and upfront about all of your problems.

If your with a Dominant and this topic does not come up, then he does not have your best interest in mind..

cutter1

Vile

11 Responses to “BDSM , Depression, And Those Who Are Cutters”

  1. “The parents need to take a bigger role in not only their children, but as a family. There has to be a time in the evening when all TV’s and cell phones are cut off, and you talk, but you talk and you listen.”

    Unfortunately, the parents are many times the cause of the problem. Trust me, I see it every day!! Every single day…

    • You are so right I know it lays on the parents.

      • Incest can go on for years in families. I have one woman who’s grandfather, uncle, and then a stepfather even has sex with. I’ve known 17 year old girls who were molested from ages 5 to 12 by the same man who was in charge of them while mom worked…
        Why wouldn’t this person cut? They have no other choice to get rid of all that emotional pain…
        sorry, this is a real thorn in my side.

      • and, they grow thinking that their bodies are there to please a man.

  2. flufffybunny Says:

    Reblogged this on ohsofluffybunny and commented:
    I had to share this. Thank you Vile. This is what I’m all about right here!! Much loves for you!!

  3. A structured, safe home without drama is SO crucial…
    I think my partner suffers enormously from living at home with his parents. They are sweet and kind all right, but also the most careless, chaotic, inattentive people you’ll ever meet. They offer no structure, no rules, no boundaries whatsoever. Do you want food? Go buy something, or cook it yourself. Bedtime? Stay up or out all night if you want. Behavior? No chores, no discipline, nothing. And Experiment is 23, he should technically be able to deal with that… but he also has very low self-esteem, is suffering from strong anxiety and has an extremely subservient character on top of that. When he is left to his own devices he is just… lost.
    I often feel I am a bad partner for him because I live at home as well and I can’t offer him the safety he really needs.
    (I like his parents, as people… but as parents they are pretty much a failure. I often think that Experiment is as broken as he is because of them.)

  4. […] advice. Advice very much needed and even now, over a year later, much appreciated. He also posted this when I emailed him about something that’s dear to my heart. He’s one blog crush that I […]

  5. Hi Vile

    I know this is an old post and was wondering if you are still reading this if you could give me some advice please.

    I am new to the lifestyle and I have a sub that is depressed. I want to help her but I don’t really want to talk in an open discussion. Would it be possible that I could talk to you through email or something similar.

    Thank you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: