Are You Codependent ?
Arianna’s mother and I have a love hate relationship. I suppose it is the fact I control everything when it comes to her daughter.
Her Mother does know about our lifestyle just as my family knows. The one thing her mother knows is Arianna is in a much better place, and that she appreciates.
So the topic came up a couple of weeks ago, while her mother and I were standing in the kitchen talking, and her mother made the comment about Arianna being Codependent . Is that how your lifestyle works you make your women codependent?
I said absolutely not , as a matter of fact Arianna has always been codependent, either you did not see it or you just did not care. The same goes for her past relationships, if they did see it they just did not want the responsibility
So I looked at her mother in the eye, and I said Arianna is codependent but I have perfected it.
While it is true many who are Submissive and more so those who are slaves are codependent, not all, I did not say all, Many.
This part is not abuse or maybe it is. A Dominant with zero experience has no idea how to deal with someone who is codependent, and it quickly becomes a burden. So either you find someone who knows what is going on, and work it from there, or you just say I am sorry I bit off more than I could chew. Because the longer you the Dominant sticks around the more damage you are doing.
Here is a little known fact about the medical profession, more so when it come to counselors and Psychiatrists.
They are quick to tell you what the problem is, they are also quick to tell you what you should do to fix it, but they do not tell you how to fix it. So all the Psychiatrists is in real life is a pill pusher, because if you can mask the problem, you are no longer a problem.
Everyone is wired differently, we all think different, our brains are wired differently, our visions on how we see the world are different. You can tell someone what the problem is, and what they should be doing, but your missing the main ingredient , The How To.
So either we as Dominants expect ours for who they are, or you leave, because if you do neither, here comes your temper, he comes the anger, and here comes the abuse.
There is no life coach who can change you, maybe for a short time, but the first time something goes wrong, your right back where you started, but this time your alone.
In most cases Dominants make better Psychiatrists than Psychiatrists do. Did that even make sense?
The only difference is we are not allowed to write scripts.
So your codependent, that is perfectly fine if you are in the right hands. Because a good Dominant will lift you up just enough so you can act on your own. Remember the Behavior Modification?
Again not everyone in the lifestyle is Codependent, but when you look at the whole picture the majority are.
It is okay to be you, it is okay to expect someone to except you for you, and not want to change you.
The only thing you truly want is to be understood and loved.