You Cannot Demand Submission

While at a MAsT Meeting on Saturday , Masters And Slaves Together, somehow we drifted off topic and I was talking about the abuse in the local community and how the younger ones had no one to talk to.

I have spoken to a few Dominants about putting together a type of outreach program for younger slaves and those who are submissive, but no one has stepped forward as of late to help put something together.

Lets face it a 18 year old slave cannot turn to a 18 year old Dominant for advice when the topic is suicide or other problems. Like many of you, you truly do not have anyone you can turn to in a time of need, and certainly not your family when it comes to your lifestyle.

Then we got off track speaking about other Dominants we both knew 25 years ago, some still remain active in the lifestyle while one who I truly admired as a mentor fell from grace. A Dominant who was once respected in the lifestyle but go really stupid and ended up in prison.
I found it odd at times when a Dominant gets into trouble due to his own doings, be it acting foolishly or just being stupid. That is not something you would normally see out of a seasoned Dominant.

Then we got off on training, as I am talking and I start to unzip my pants, and the words come out of my mouth well lets start your training now, then Bam I stop…

We had left to look at another Apartment that morning, a very nice apartment, once inside it looked like a resort.
I am still trying to justify paying 1100 dollars a month for a place to sleep and fuck.

Moving closer to Arianna’s work for me is very important. She commutes and hour one way now so I would like to cut that down to about 15 or 20 minutes.
If your going to live someplace more so in an apartment you don’t want just anyone living next door, so I am willing to pay more.

You know there are so many levels of submission, and there is a Dominant for each Level. The same goes with a Dominant there are many different levels.

All to many times some are to fast to offer something that is so precious. Some just to fast to offer something that should be earned.

Respect has to be the first factor when it comes to entering a D’s or M’s relationship. You have to be able to respect the one your with.

One thing you cannot do is earn respect through chatting, emails and phone conversations. You may get that first WOW feeling, but the respect factor is going to have to be earned while both being present.

Earning someone’s respect is a process, and it should not be a first meeting process, it is a process that both of you should build together.

Someone making demands from the start is unrealistic. Being told to address someone as sir or calling someone Master before even agreeing to enter a relationship is unrealistic.

The one thing you want to happen is to see that WOW factor grow, as that WOW factor grows the respect begins to grow.

You want to make sure the Dominant is who he says he is. You want to make sure the Dominant is telling you the truth, being 100% honest with you.

One thing I never understood, why is it so important to show up for dinner wearing no panties? How does that prove your submission? Is that how you want to show your submissive ?

Why would you want to send someone you have never met nude pictures of yourself.
I myself never asked for any nudes from Arianna before we met. Do you know why? Because I respected her, I wanted to be able to move on past that WOW factor.
If I had asked for nudes I would of been just like every other she had met or Dominants who were trying to meet her. So I wanted to show I was different. I wanted to show Arianna I was more than the WOW factor.

If a Dominant wants to earn your submission, then he should have to earn your respect.



13 Responses to “You Cannot Demand Submission”

  1. littleannab Says:

    Reblogged this on Little Anna B (Diamond Eyes) and commented:
    Very true. It takes trust, love and honesty

  2. Though Kayla and I began as an online couple I held nothing back from her, there was not anything about me she didn’t know, she knew where I lived, worked, and hung out. I was always available to her for talk, chat, or speak on the phone. When I made arrangements to go see her and meet in person that I think was the true beginning of her respect for me.

    • See it is Dominants like you who set the example.
      That is why I admire who and what you are.
      Thank you for stopping by.
      You are a man true to your word.
      The truth many relationships start on line today.
      We just need to be more cautious and smart.

  3. Dexter Blake Says:

    To be honest, I sort of despise the idea that D/s is perceived as purely sexual based. I prefer to separate the terms, such as D/s relationships with BDSM activities.

    If a submissive were to tell me about sending “naughty pics” to guy after guy either through demand/request or because she thought “that’s just how it works”, I’d probably feel the need to give her some necessary advise. To me, it would be a red flag to ask for increasingly personal things before certain commitments are made. Especially in an online environment.

    I would also argue that if a newly met Dominant is requesting such things without having at least officially entered into the “Consideration” phase, then they’ve shown what their objective is really about. Submissives that don’t understand this should be advised about it.

    We may talk about Respect being necessary, but sometimes people forget that ‘Self-Respect’ might be even more important.

    Just my two cents. Thank you for your post.

    • I agree with everything you have said. If someone is knew speaking about a submissive they are really not sure what to expect.
      Many are to embarrassed to ask questions, more so their friends, so they take the word of the Dominant.
      Thank you for stopping by.
      Yes it is D’s with BDSM activities

  4. Before ever laying eyes on my husband, he and I had a long distance friendship. We spoke on the phone frequently and wrote letters. This was 28 years ago before email. Not once did he send me a cock shot or even a photo of himself and never asked it of me. I had absolutely no idea what he looked like. He had only seen a photo of me hanging on my mother’s wall. I was 21 and going through a divorce and his rule was simple…we would not get involved until I could show that I was completely and irreversibly over the soon to be ex. He was, and still is, concerned about my heart and my mind. That is what a Dom does. If you can’t do that you have no right to ask anything if a sub. You cannot be trusted with her care.

    • Now this is awesome, your words are awesome. I wish everything submissive could think the way you do.

      I am not sure if it is the internet that has caused an explosion or not. Things has changed and they have changed for the worse.
      I am glad things worked out for you…
      Thank you for stopping by I hope to see you around, and please feel free to comment or ask questions.

  5. The picture at the end of your post sums up well the content which proceeds it- her look is pure contentment. You cannot buy it of force it upon someone. You don’t need kinky fuckery or BDSM to achieve it. You need complete devotion, dedication and determination, and mostly conviction to be able to focus on the one thing which is required to completely relax and be yourself -TRUST. That’s it. Either you have it or you don’t. It’s black or white. It’s on or off. It’s left or right. Anything else leaves you guessing, doesn’t it?! Great topic and post Vile…

    -Love Passionately-

    -Tom Wolf

  6. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    This is so true , hope you enjoy

  7. nederireland Says:

    It is a great shame how many men are out there posing as Masters when they are at most Dominant. This is very common online. I have been speaking to a Sub online and the stories she has told me lead me think that a lot of submissive women are being exploited. In one case she met a man who was to be her Master. They didn’t live together, although I am not judging anyone in currently in this situation, he turned up when he pleased and brought male and females ‘friends’ without discussing it. He spent very little time on her needs and immediately demanded sex. In her case this was very unsatisfying but when she objected he punished her with electricity. Due to a medical condition this is the one thing that she insists that she will not play with. He used her submissiveness to manipulate her into thinking that this is how the Master/slave relationship should be.

    Thankfully we began speaking online. At 25 she is younger than me, I am 41, but has some experience of the BDSM world. She contacted me after seeing my profile on a website and we were talking for a day. She asked me what my philosophy as a Master is and I explained. She then told me about her current ‘Master’ and his behavior. I told her that in my opinion this man is a sadist and an opportunist and she left him the next day.

    I was happy that it turned out this way. I like her very much and I know that she likes me too but geography will not allow us to be together. The next best thing that I can do is be her advisor and to mentor her. At least if I can give her the benefit of my experience it will lessen the chances of her ending up in a situations similar to the last. If we were all willing to do this, Masters/slaves and Dominant/Submissive I think that a lot less subs would be mistreated by pretenders.

    • I apologize for taking so long to get back with you.

      There is so much abuse from those who are clueless and those who really do not give a fuck.
      Never let age come between you, I will be 54 the 14th and Arianna just turned 40. I have dated those who are younger but I made sure their head was in the right place.
      At time distance can be a problem or even living out of country , at least she knows she has someone to turn to..

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