You Cannot Demand Submission

You know you can spot the wannabe’s from a far distance. You can spot the fakes like an apple in an orange basket.

Sometimes it can be hard to separate the two if your just entering the lifestyle.

No one has the right to tell you that you have to call someone Sir , Master or Daddy.
A title is just that a title, at any rate it should be earned. Someone who demands such a thing has probably spent hours in front of a bathroom mirror practicing those words, You can call me Sir. You can call me Master.

Second you should NEVER I mean NEVER send anyone nudes pics of yourself. If you are just meeting this guy you knowing nothing of him, and you could wake up one morning and find yourself pasted all over the Internet.

No real Dominant would even think of asking of such a thing, and it really serves no meaning at all. There is really no purpose for such a request, this falls back under the call me Sir thing.

Many of you are intimidated when you first meet someone. Your meeting your first real Dominant. Your meeting someone you hope to spend the rest of your life with.
Being afraid or intimidated is no way to start off, so if you have these feelings you need to put off meeting until you feel relaxed.
Intimidation does not equal submission but many will try once they figure you out.

One of the main problems is the submissive will open up to much, giving out to much information. Information about your personal life, problems you may have financially , or even health, and family. Information can include problems at work, your insecurities , low self esteem.

The Dominant now goes into the rescuer mode, he is now the Knight on the white horse, and you see him as your guiding light.

This in the end makes you a very easy target. He will probably have track words he uses. He will tell you all the things you need to hear.

The first month everything goes well , you are the center of attention and you are eating it up.
Then things slowly begin to change and your relationship moves into what I call a dark area.

The Knight on the white horse is no longer the soft and gentle Dominant he was when you first met. Your thoughts or needs become less of a need to him. He then begins to isolate you, telling you , you do not need anyone else but me, thus cutting your friends off then your family.

He has changed , his temper now comes out , your told you do not know what your saying. You are made to think your are worthless, and you would be nothing without him.
Look at what Ive done for you ? You should appreciate the time I have spent with you, you should be thankful instead of being so inconsiderate.

Many of you have heard this before , and you fixed it by leaving , but many are still in such of a relationship , and your not sure how to get out.

One thing that is for sure you should always come first no matter what. Your Dominant should drop what ever he is doing and come when needed without question.

He should want to know what your thinking , what your feelings are , what can be done to put you in a better place.

When someone demands you respect them , or demand you call them Sir or Master their head is not in the right place.

You need to do your research , you need to talk to people, but most importantly you need to get out in the local community , get to know people.
The truth is you will be treated more like family than you ever have, you will find those who are willing to guide you as well as support you.

The one thing that many of you do not fully understand is , you have the right to say NO. You are a submissive the ball is in your court just as much as it is his.
You have the right to ask questions , and you have the right to get the answer you want. You have the right to question his intentions.

One thing I firmly believe in , is you should have all of your problems worked out before entering a new relationship. It is not fair to dump your garbage trunk on someones lap , and expect them to fix it. You created a mess you fix it.
You would be pretty upset if you entered a relationship with a new Dom to find out his life was in a total wreck.
Then you have to grab a broom and dust pan and help him clean up his mess, it is just not fair…

A little planning goes a very long way..

After all your goal is to earn your collar

Image

Vile

12 Responses to “You Cannot Demand Submission”

  1. Another great article. Thanks Vile!

  2. Reblogged this on CinnamonAndSparkles and commented:
    Fantastic post from Vile

  3. Wonderful Vile…all relationships could use this advise. We live in times where we move to fast, think to little and trust too easily. Thank you for the thoughtful and thought provoking post.

  4. Lots of good information Vile πŸ™‚
    Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

  5. Interesting article. But I must say that the man I gave my life to, my husband, treated me poorly without ever being a dominant. And the man I’m with now, even though we’re not really in a D/s relationship, I opened up to him right away, completely, and he has not used it in the least to take advantage of me, on the contrary, I’ve never felt so supported in my life.
    But when I gave away all that information about me, I had already thought quite a bit about what respect is and how important it is. I wasn’t going to let anyone disrespect me any more. And the fact he lives far from me made it more difficult for him to have too much of a bad influence should he have decided to use what I told him against me.
    I don’t know where this is going, but it has been going on for 9 months and I still feel just as supported as I did in the beginning. And respected.

    What I want to say is this: it is all very good advice, but each person is different.

  6. It requires patience – for both parties. Wait until you’re sure. Wait until they’ve proven themselves. Wait until the vast majority of your questions are answered to your own satisfaction. Unfortunately, patience is hard and they rush in, only to get hurt in the end. Sometimes, the hurt is only mental and emotional…sometimes it isn’t.

    Great post, Vile. πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: