Lets Talk About BDSM

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The term BDSM dates back to 1969; however, the origin of the term BDSM is unclear and is believed to have been formed either from joining the term B&D (bondage and discipline) with S&M (sadomasochism or sadism and
masochism)

You know everyday a young slave or submissive opens that door, looking and searching for something but she is not sure what it is.

The truth is they will do very little research and will grow to depend on one voice and one voice only.
That voice will do one or two things. One it will give her something great she has never imagined or two it will destroy her life for a long time or maybe permanently. Who care right ? Who really gives a fuck what happens to someone else? After all their life does not effect us in anyway.

We all write about fun and games, we all right about spreading for our owner, sucking cock or maybe a little anal training, or how much you love humiliating someone. The list of topics just goes on and on.

While I may not be politically correct in my way of thinking or speaking, that does give me a great advantage because I can be me, I can be who I am without faking anything.

I write about my life , present , past and sometimes the future. I write about how I live my life in a 27/7 M’s relationship. I write about how important communication is, how structure is important and how to put much of it into play.

One thing you rarely hear me talk about however is my sex life. I do not discuss that because of the respect I have for Arianna. I do that because of the love I have for Arianna. I do that because of the security for Arianna.

I do talk about kink mostly past relationships and maybe sometimes I cross lines but again I am me. I am not here to please someone , or make someone think something that is not true.

What I write is about me , and if you were to meet me in person I would be the same.

We are not all going to agree on everything but we should give others respect no matter what I believe or what someone else believes.

I recently came across Master Michael’s blog

http://ourmasterslavejourney.info/

While we do not agree on certain topics he does have an awesome blog and you can see the love he has for his.
I love to see blogs that has so much empowerment and so much information soothers can read and learn and grow.

His blog is one of the few I have come across that actually speaks about relationships and keeping it going , and even the struggles.
Cudos.

Don’t get me wrong kink is good , sex is good , and there is nothing better in my world than a slow blow job.

I consider myself very lucky today one I have Arianna and the second I am a live and well and disease free , Wow am I lucky !!!!!!!

To date I cannot tell you how many women I have been with , The truth is I lost count some 15 or 20 years ago.
25 different states , Thailand , Korea , The Philippines , Japan, Vietnam , Germany yea Gretchen. England , the Dominican republic and probably a few I do not remember. Those were the days when I was trying to smoke all the weed up in the world.
While stationed in Korea there were two things to do for an American in the US Army. Drink and fuck that was it. Most of the time I did not even know there name nor did I want to.

Believe me it is nothing to be proud of , and for the most I feel pretty bad, and this brings up the whole purpose of my blog , well some of the main factors.

The good news is we all grow up or we are suppose to , that is the plan our parents have for us when we come sliding down the chute, the cold air hits us and some stranger smacks our ass.

Many do not grow up and they pay the consequences in the end. Our life is based on two things , Choices and Consequences.

I enjoy learning about others , their life , watching them grow , it is unfortunate we have tragedies sometimes and we lose good people.

We all think different , we also want different things out of life. We want different things when it comes to a partner , and we have different needs.
So we find the one who fills all of those voids, we find the one who has the level of submission we are seeking. We find the one who wants to adapt to our way and only our way.
If you pick the wrong partner the adaption process will never happen and you will part hating each other , not to mention the time you have wasted, and you will never get back.

You have to sit down and put a plan together on paper, and believe me you will make a thousand changes, but in the end you need to stick to your plan and stand firm, that is for the Dominant , the slaves and those who are submissive, because if you do not have a plan you will get screwed , you will get fucked and it will be no ones fault except yours.

Then you want to come crying and telling your story about how you were abused or mistreated, you were beaten, the relationship was all wrong, but you already knew that going into it.
You saw all the warning signs , but you ignored them and you took your plan and you wadded it up and threw it in the trash , and you allowed yourself to be treated like a bitch instead of a partner.
Once you agreed to enter the relationship you gave him permission to do what ever he wanted to.

I am not a very sympathetic man because most of our problems are self inflicting. Most of our problems can be solved before they even become problems.
The problem is most want an easy way out and there is not one, so we tend to sweep things under the carpet hoping it will not resurface.
It does come back into play and by that time is has grown way out of control.

One problem I have noticed is the Novice Dominants who have sprouted since the 50 shades of Grey , but it did start mostly with the internet boom.
At times I do receive emails from new Dominants. Hey Vile I am new to the lifestyle and I have some questions I would like to ask you would that be okay ?
Sure I would be more than happy to answer any question you may have.
That is the end of the conversation, I never hear back, and I know that when I answer the email.
So either he is no longer interested or he has read the 50 shades of grey and he now knows everything.

What you Doms or Daddy’s new Masters what ever you call yourself don’t understand is you can have anything you want out of a partner.
You can have the world at your feet and a partner who will serve you without question. A partner who will stand by you without question.

All you have to do is stop the games you play , it is simple math and I am talking 1+1 math, no algebra.
You have to be yourself and you have to be honest. You have to be who and what you are.
Your Consistency will grow her submission, you caring will grow her submission. You communication will grow her submission.

People do not believe me when I tell them Arianna and I have never had an argument, but that is the truth and it is not because she is not allowed to speak up because she is. She is allowed to voice her opinion , I want that out of her, but it is our communication that prevents the arguments.
We talk and we talk about anything and everything , Arianna knows she can come to me and speak her mind without fear.

We all love the kink, we all love sex , and we all love getting what we want and when we want, but with those thoughts you have to have certain principles in place, logic if you will , because you should want to travel a road that has no abuse.

When meeting a new Dominant the second you have second thoughts or the feeling something may not be right , you should then excuse yourself and go home. Your first thoughts are 90% right most of the time…..

Many of you confuse the difference between a submissive and slave and many even the Baby Girl role in the lifestyle.

Who carry titles but most act as if they are slaves , many having the fear of asking questions or even saying no.
If you are not capable of those two things you are in the wrong relationship because it should not be based on fear..
Fear is a terrible mind fuck , and it will drive you crazy…

Being mind fucked during play is much different than being mind fucked on a daily basis and you not knowing it.

Those of you trying to make a fresh start should do research months of research. You need to talk to others , and I mean others who are in stable relationships.
I am not talking about those who have online Dominants or those in LDR , they cannot help you in anyway.

There are tons of sites out there to help guide you and give you answers.
One I like is Best Slave Training… http://bestslavetraining.com/

There is a ton of useful information…

In the end your safety is the most important , your care is most important. More important your mind and mental state is important..

symbol

Vile

http://ourmasterslavejourney.info/

5 Responses to “Lets Talk About BDSM”

  1. Fantastic post Vile. I wish more submissives would listen to the advice that you give. Maybe then we would see less hurt ones…that goes the same for dominants.

    Thank you for all the advice you give to our community.

  2. Reblogged this on Born of nightmares.

  3. The “Nightmare on Elm Street” is a movie born of such mind fucks and fear. I guess some people get off on the fear factor. Frankly, I enjoy life as does Mynx and we don’t play the fear game. If that’s your kink, well, coolio Julio. Mynx and I have always been kinky but we’ve never been as trusting of one another as we have been since figuring out the Wikipedia definitions and how they aplied to us. Since then, our dynamic, relationship, trust- has been off the charts. That’s the biggest change since our discovery of the definitions. It defined who we were/are. You think you know someone for twenty years but you never speak the truth to them. Instead, you end up finding a confidante, a beer buddy, and you share your dirty laundry with them. Then, without warning, they turn on you and air your dirty laundry. Shit. Then the one you loved finds out and man oh man, Lucy- you got some ‘splainin to do.

    Our dynamic is built on trust, love, sex, kink, bondage, sadism, masochism. I left out discipline because it is unnecessary in our dynamic. All that I need to do is hint that I’m disappointed with Mynx about something and she’s grief struck, full of sorrow. The fact is she loves and craves to please. She’s an amazing submissive. A domineering fuck would take advantage of such a submissive and the abuse would be rampant. You’re right Vile, that’s not D/s, M/s or any other title one might affix here- it’s just fucking abuse. I, for one, loathe the asswipe who abuses. It fucks up everything not only for the community as a whole, but more importantly, for that submissive for a long, long time. The worst part is that those abusers are not reading this right now, but hopefully their future sub is and knows from your blog what the differences are. That sub will hopefully be able to get away and find the arms of the dominant type who knows and connects on all levels, or at least is willing to try to get there.

    If you are a D type and you don’t understand, it’s okay to ask. People like Vile, myself and a handful of others get it and are willing to help. If you’re the submissive type, there’s help too- just ask, good slaves like miss Arianna, good sub’s like my Mynx or miss BoPeep are out here and want to help. As you’ve said Vile, get out to a munch and get with someone you connect with who’s respected in the community, someone with a resume of successful dynamics. Just cuz one or three or eight of their dynamics have ended for them, it doesn’t make them bad or any less credible. It means typically that one or the other in the relationship or dynamic grew past the other. They disconnected and typically, formally the D uncollared the s and they moved on, still friends, but they moved on.

    Sorry for the rant here- I guess I should’ve just done a post myself Vile, LOL… You’re right- you are who you are and in my mind, you serve here to act as a warning to others. Take heed, Vile’s right. He has sounded the warning. If you’re reading this and it’s you whom he speaks to about abuse, get out of your thingy now. I say thingy because it’s not a relationship at all. Your brain is telling you so, listen to it and believe it. Your parachute will come but you need to commit to opening the door to leave the crashing plane first. Stay on board- it crashes. Jump and it will feel funny at first but the support and soft landing are here, just ask…

    -Love Passionately-

    -Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)

    • It is much different when a married couple introduces the lifestyle into their relationship or marriage.
      You both find what works and does not work.
      I am glad you two are in a good place and I am sure you both will continue to grow.

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