Interview With a Little With A Touch Of Primal
I love doing these what I call Interviews. It lets us deeper into someones life and maybe we hit on things that is not shared on their blog.
I stopped because one of the last ones basically the whole interview was a lie and I know this because they confessed shortly after , so I felt uncomfortable with sharing information that may or may not be true.
This is a different story I believe you are going to enjoy this interview , she is awesome and very straight forward , with a touch of primal….
I try not to get to personal but some of the questions I ask are to make someone think….
I also want to say I like her enough , my slave and I have invited her to our home in February and we will take her to an amusement park for the day then out to dinner. I also want to say I do not invite just anyone to my home. There are a few I have met on here I would but it is not very often..
So here we go……
Thank you for asking and I agree, if you are going to do it, tell the truth, shame the devil and have a good giggle ;-). I’m sorry if this is long winded but you know how Self Important us Littles tend to feel about ourselves (giggle).
- Tell us a little about yourself . How many children do you have and how do you manage your day working ?My blog has changed names a few times but the last and final is Searching 4 Selina. I have no problem embracing my Super Villian façade when it comes to dealing with things that scare me but I am learning to stop hiding behind my secret identity and to allow others to see the softer side of myself.
Like Shrek said, I am like an onion. I may make you cry at times but odds are good you will laugh as well. It can be painful but you keep coming back because I just add that extra spice you need! I grew up in a military family raised by my Aunt and Uncle. I have 3 older brothers who are very protective and old fashioned with one in the life style who is a Master and Sadistic. I have always been very sheltered by the men in my family and in a way it has always allowed me to take chances and risks as I will always land on my feet thanks to them. I am affectionately called the “Spoiled Little Princess” and that is a true description at times. I will take as much as you allow me to. Why? Because I am the princess of course (giggle).
I have 3 children whom I love with all my heart. They are all different and all very creative. I grew up with “parents” who encouraged me to be myself and I passed this along to mine. I ended up with a cheerleader, football player and a self celebrated “awkward, Social geek, and friend extraordinaire”. I am THAT MOM… I drove a decked out mini van (until it went stupid), wear the shirts with my kids names to events and volunteer with the booster clubs, and for the youngest. Whatever weirdness she is into (anime) I embrace, even to the point of tolerating Harley in DC. She has a best friend who is gay and open in middle school. She has adopted him and I call him my son as well.
As for work, I am a office/Program Manager so I have to be ON IT when it comes to most things. I am highly respected not only for my knowledge but because those who meet me find me personal able and approachable when they need assistance and trust me when I say I will help I will help. I am the subject matter expert and I speak my mind “respectfully”. I have a schedule on which I do everything that helps me to remain in control/charge and to get things done.
2. How long have you been in the lifestyle and when did you come to realize you were a little ? In a way I have always been in the life style. My Aunt and Uncle were D/s and I got to grown up seeing the peace that it can bring to a relationship. I think I have always known I was little but before they called it a “sweet spirit”. I have always collected dolls, always been a hugger, and always LOVED Disney and embraced the innocence of life. This has made my Aunt and Uncle’s children (my brothers and sisters) more protective of me as well.
3 Can you please explain the term little and what it means to you ..FOR ME: A Little is someone in the BDSM Life style who has a inner Little person. Its not a personality disorder but a genuine way of looking at things. We like sparklies, we tend to giggle a lot, we squeak and squeal when we are happy you can feel that energy. For me, my little is always a part of me. At work they call me quirky as I hide in plain sight. I wear pink bunny slippers when I want to get out of my heels, I have been know to skip down the halls after a long meeting, and once when meeting a new section head who was OVERLY STUFFY I sang the Mr. Rogers theme song under my breath
4. How many D’s little relationships have you been in and what happened ? I have had 5 and they were
1 – MP who was a Master. I was with him from the time I was 21 to 25. I didn’t know that we had a D’s relationship but rather viewed it as old fashioned. After he proposed and we were planning the wedding he presented me with my 1st collar and explained it as well as the direction of our relationship moving forward. We had already been doing spankings, and light bondage, I called him Daddy and he took care of me. But naming it like that, I ran afraid at the feelings of invoked.
2 – CSM I was 35 to 37 and we got together not long after my separation and through my divorce. He was a Sadist and loved me very much. He could cause suck pain but loved me so well. I use to be afraid to tell people about our play sessions afraid they would think badly of him but having meet others here on WP I can be proud of my time with him. He got sent to Japan so we had to end as I couldn’t go there or take my kids and he knew it wasn’t right to keep me waiting 3 years.
3 – Younger guy who was poly. It was a bad experience as he had a slave who HATED ME and for the most part much of our relationship was to make her happy. He even gave us the same collar because she hated that I didn’t have one while she had to wear one. Also, he pretty much just piggy backed onto what CSM did and rules set by him. He also went to Japan
4 – Garrick….Garrick was Primal and online only. He and I were friends on Fetlife who found we had TONS in common. We didn’t set out to enter into a DD/bg dynamic but rather…it just happened, two Primal people walk into a bar so to speak. Even though we were long distance he really understood the needs I had and did his best to provide. However he was married with a lot going on and became over whelmed and ended up abandoning me. We have since spoken and gotten closure and it’s nice to have my friend back again.
5 – DK…goodness DK was a SAGA! DK was Alpha and vanilla who loved me enough to try D’s and to try to be my Daddy. He was good at the D’s part and found freedom in giving into his darker urges of being dominant and bondage (I once spent a weekend chained to his bed as I kept threatening to leave) and providing that FIRM HAND that I needed. However he wasn’t a Daddy. He did not feel those Daddy urges and could not REALLY understand my Little. In the end, I had to accept that fundamentally we were NOT as good a fit as everyone thought and end the relationship. I am blessed that we are still good friends which made the break up that much easier.
- What are you looking for in a Daddy Dominant? This is a hard question to answer as it is hard to define what I need in a Daddy.
#1 DADDY DOM! He has to have a back bone, speak up and not get trampled under my feet. I want him to put that bass in his voice and call me on my actions no matter how little and he needs to be a Daddy. He must feel those Daddy urges and not just because I am for them. Need to put me to bed, need to check on me, need to bath me or ensure that I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed. MUST have that Daddy Dom tone and look DOWN!!! The kind who will pull you in close, run his hand up the back of your neck then grab a fist full of hair to pull your head back when you get out of line
#2 – Affectionate and caring. I love to snuggle and cuddle so having a DD that feels the same is important. He will need to understand that as much as I crave sex there will be times when I need to put my hair in pony tails, crawl into my pj’s and hide away. I need him to hold me and understand this is a part of me.
#3 – Sense of humor. I am a Brat after all and I am going to get into mischief. He will need to laugh it off when he tells me I can’t go somewhere by myself and I roll out with a call full of stuffies…he needs to be able to appreciate my creativeness even if he does have to punish me (not saying that he would HAVE TO punish me of course – giggle-)
#4 – Crave the power exchange. If he needs to choose my panties every day, remind me to exercise, drink my water, go to bed, stay away from pepsi then he should DO IT, not ask me if he can.
#5 – Sexual…I need to be used sexually and I need to be used hard. Fucked not only for my pleasure but for his as well. CSM use to call me into his office when eh was stressed on something. He would bend me over his desk, whisper in my ear “Not a word Little One” and pound the hell out of his pussy. He would then fix my clothes, kiss my forehead and send me back to my office.
#6 – Protective…I have shared a little recently on my blog that I have a bit of social anxiety in some aspects. I am 5’1 and in large groups of people I have a fear of getting separated from my group or run over by people not watching where they are going. I don’t need him to make a huge things just pull my arm though his and hold me close. I hate to order when dining out so I need him to order for me and not make it noticable that the wait staff make my skin crawl. I am always nervous I am going to piss them off and they will spit in my food or they think I am stupid when I order from the kids menu or just judging me for my food choices period.
#7 – Assertive and firm in his role as my Daddy. If I am wrong then tell me I am wrong. If I am to be punished don’t ask me if I should be, tell me to assume the position, and if you don’t like something then SPEAK UP because if he doesn’t then I will and its down hill from there. As the Daddy it is his right to lay down the law and my duty to follow. If I don’t know the law I can’t follow so there’s the pickle.
#8 Able to communicate his needs and desires to me. I want to be useful and to serve him. I can’t if he doesn’t tell me what he needs. If he doesn’t tell me when I have let him down then I can’t fix it and if he doesn’t tell me that he misses me or appreciates me or even desires me then I am caught up in my own head telling myself god only knows what and that could be a problem.
How are you different from other Little’s? I think what makes me different is that I am not JUST Little. I have my Little needs, but also, I have the slave needs of desiring TPE and to hand over all control to my Daddy. I have my primal feline needs and need an orgasm to relax and center myself so I’m a little more slutty than other Littles and I have found that I am a little to straight forward or more so than the others that I have meet. I get to know a Dom first, without considering him as a “Daddy” possibility. I don’t judge his kinks or pass but want to know HIM. When they press me to be “their’s” I have no trouble saying “thank you but no thank you. In the past I have had Dom’s ask why and I have told them, if he was meant to be my Daddy he would not have to ask for my submission, it would have already been leaking that way and all he need do is pull me in. I have only asked myself twice if I would submit to a Daddy and each of those times I should not have and stuck to my gut feelings.
7. Knowing what you do now , is your search different when looking for a Dominant than lets say 2 years ago ? Yes it is, before I had a “vision” of what my Daddy was going to be like and over this journey I have meet and talked to to so many different types that I have found that what I WANTED and what I NEED are totally different. I am more aware of who I am, of how I became this way and more secure in WHAT I am. I don’t’ let labels define me or others but learned to use them as guiding points on my path.
8.How important is it to be who you are? It is VERY important to me! I have found that when I try to be something that I am not, I am not happy and it causes problems for me. I NEED to express all sides of my personality. I NEED to be free to be me or I can’t be happy and I tend to start to resent the situation preventing me from it. I have to stress I grew up ACCEPTED for me, over protected for it yes but accepted none the less. My brothers know my short comings and took care of me. They never made me feel less for it but always made me feel loved that I can balance a $50,000 budget at work but suck at balancing my own check book. MP never made me feel less of a mother because I use to have Disney movie days with the kids growing up but would rather come over and build the blanket fort for us (I suck at the structure part of it -giggle-). I am smart, sexy, sassy, snarky, and slutty and I am okay with that so everyone else should be as well.
9. Are you looking for a Daddy who is looking for a family , meaning to include your children a father figure ? My children have 2 wonderful fathers who have worked together to put aside their ego’s and co-parent 3 wonderful children. I would expect for my Daddy to join that tribal at some point but to also understand they have FATHER’S who provide for them, he will be back up where needed and when they are with us. Our triad has always include my oldest daughters step mother Tru and I would hope that my Daddy would join us in the same fashion.
10. You had mentioned you are primal when it comes to sex , could you explain what you mean by primal ? For me, attraction isn’t based on a certain “body type”. In person, its been the way they smell, their voice tone, or even the way that they carry themselves. It makes my nipples hard, or my panties wet and I want to know more. I find myself watching them, learning them and plotting their down fall into my bed. I have often sat a dinner and just craved to run my tongue up their neck and have even done so a couple of times, the need to taste them that strong. I am submissive in my relationship needs but when it comes to sex my feline has her own. She will use whatever is necessary to be feed. I have used puppy dog faces, sad eyes, tears…to weaken a Dom and get him to let down his guard and pull me close. Once he does I use what I have learned about him to my advantage to seduce him. Nibbling his neck and saying the words I know turn him on, running my hands along his chest. I actually had a guy whose weakness was stocking and heals. I “twisted” my ankle and when he was rubbing my foot to check for swelling I started rubbing his crotch with it (silly Dom’s – Giggle). I call it “breaking the Doms” because afterwards they will apologize afterwards for taking advantage of me which always makes me giggle. They ask why giggle, I admit the truth and they get all “Domly” and “explain” how it will be from that point on. I always grin and say “OTAY” and it becomes an issue I’m not repenant about my actions. If you want to make me sorry, punish me, if you don’t then just accept that I enjoyed it and lets move on. There have been those that I wasn’t able to seduce and found them all the more that repremand and firm putting of me in my place…just YUMMIE!
There have been men who capture my attention with their words, in fact, I never really know what will capture my feline side but once sighted she “hunts” them. There have even been a few times when she had discontinued the hunt finding someone lacking or not the meal she envisioned them to be. Funny enough, I have never regretted sex with anyone but I have regretted a few relationships (giggle)
- You stated some of your friends do not agree with your primal side , is there anything you would like to say ? I wouldn’t say “AGREE” with my primal side but it was hard for them to understand that I am okay with my slutty needs and side. I don’t’ view sex the same as them. I need a connection to have sex so I don’t just fall in bed with ANYONE but when I feel that connection and attraction…I just want to ride him like a pony at a carnival or suck him like a Tootsie Roll and I’m trying to answer the age old question…how many licks does it take to get to the center (giggle). However I am also a little more vocal about my needs and have no shame on how people take it. I am not A SLUT, I am HIS SLUT and I’m okay with that. However I also had to realize that my friends were concerned out of love and now they understand that I am not just slutty but I am safe and slutty.
12. You are a little but how much control do you want to give up in a relationship ? I NEED to give up total control in my D’s relationship. I am seeing a TPE (Total Power Exchange) where I know that my Daddy is the boss in all things. Now this doesn’t mean micromanage as I am a pretty smart girl but I do want to always answer to him. I want him to take charge of my weight loss, my eating and sleeping habits (they are HORRIBLE) as well as to ensure that I am not blowing my money on ever Dooney/Coach bag that I see (giggle).
I love checking in with my Daddy when I am away from him, having to ask for permission to masturbate (orgasm control) is such a turn on to me, and knowing that he CARES if I do or don’t do these things makes me feel truly loved and secure in my relationship. I think that many don’t realize that growing up the way I did, my uncle and brothers showed me the benefits of submitting to another’s will so it comes natural to me. I don’t’ feel the need to buck or fight, once I have that faith and trust in someone I can exhale and let it go. Maybe that is a down side to the way that I was raised…but it is what it is right.