Archive for February, 2015

Traits Of A Good Dominant

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Anger Issues, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Safety, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, control, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, TPE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was looking back over the years the other day from a wild and crazy teen , joining the Us Army at 17 to get away from home, and I can pretty much remember every year except for the Carter Administration. I had joined the Us Army October 1979. When I left the house both parents were at work so there were no good byes. There were no letters back and forth , so I never showed up for mail call.
I had left behind a 100 friends who were not friends if that makes any sense. I never really got into any real bad trouble, I steered away from the trouble makers. I was young and doing my own thing. While others partied and smoked pot , I was tying girls up. At that time it seemed like the best alternative.

I have noticed since I have gotten older , I have not really changed much at all , Ive just changed my way of thinking. I grew up on the street so by the time I had turned 17 and joined the army I had street smarts. I could separate the bull shitters from the real.

I have zero tolerance for lairs I mean zero , none. If you lie to me we are done. Most people lie because they want something or they are hiding something.

I started washing dishes when I was 13 so I always had my own money even as my parents struggled. There struggle was drug addiction , and alcohol. Every 90 days or so one or the other would go into detox for 30 days and get clean. It was just a vicious circle that was never ending. I had just turned 21 and my real mother passed away from a drug overdose.
I remember my uncle calling me I was stationed in Korea and he asked if I was coming to help with the arrangements, and I thought for a second and I asked why would I do that , do what you gotta do man I hope it works out.

So I learned at a very early age you had to watch your own back because no one else was going to. I also learned early on that greed fed the human mind , I also found out greed is the down fall to many , but they want to put the blame on others. Family , Family are the ones you really have to watch out for. That does sound cold but we as humans have changed so much over the past 30 years. I saw it when my Grandfather passed away. He had not even left the hospital and they were going through his things and fighting over who got what. Like the movie , you have to learn to separate the good , the bad and the ugly.

While in school I was only in one fight. Fighting was something I never looked forward to, or never thought I would be in one. Fat fred is what he was called and he was fat and people were scared of him for what ever reason. One day while boarding the school bus Fat Fred tripped me while I was going to my seat. Once I got up I straddled him and I just started punching and punching and punching. The bus driver pulled over and had to pull me off of him.
Fat Fred spent a week in the hospital. I had broken his nose , his jaw and his eye socket was ruptured. That was the end of my fighting career , after that I never had a problem with anyone. I never understood it but his parents never wanted to press charges, maybe they knew he was a dick.

So where am I going with all of this rubbish , well I am in the learning stage. I spend my time learning and watching and listening.

Honesty I learned early on honesty is the best medicine , if your honesty people will respect you even if they do not like you.
Some years ago I drove a Tractor Trailer , one of the drivers who switched with me brought a truck back in as he was backing to the Doc , the supervisor met the driver and asked him what happened to the trailer door it was destroyed. The driver make the comment Vile did it. James my supervisor looked at the driver and said Vile did not do that , I know this because he would of told me.

A good Dominant can communicate and will do so on all levels. A good Dominant will all you his property to communicate as well and again on all levels. With communication comes with having the ability to listen and communicate your feelings or your thoughts

A Good Dominant is loyal even if he is in a Poly relationship because all parties know of everyone. A good Dominant is loyal and will remain.

A good Dominant is able to provide structure and make his property feel secure. He will provide structure to keep his home is good balance without any disruptions.

A good Dominant wants his property to succeed in life he will set goals and insure they are completed and help when needed.

A good Dominant is in full control of not only himself but his home and surroundings. He is level headed and thinks things through before acting. A good Dominant knows his actions not only effect him but his house as well.

A good Dominant again is in full control going in a different direction this time. He is in control of his temper, he is in control of his anger and he is not abusive , be it mental, physical , or verbal. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts.

A good Dominant will respect your limits , while at times limits will be pushed one must know and respect when you have had enough.

A good Dominant will put you first above anything in his life. You should be all that matters. You know even today I still receive some 50+ text a day from Arianna. It does not matter what I am doing whom I am with I take time to respond, by not responding in a timely manner I find it to be very disrespectful and uncaring.
I am sorry I was to busy to text you, really how long does it really take to pick up your phone and send a text msg ?

Now the above statements could go with any relationship as well , be it a vanilla , Domestic Discipline , or if you venture off into the world of BDSM. The bottom line is if you do not have those core values in any relationship it will not work. It seems over the years we have lost much of our values as a society , now it is mostly dog eat dog even when it comes to our families.

One thing you as a submissive or slave has to remember , you are the one who has to adapt to your new Dominant. You are the one who has to follow rules but rules within reason.. You yourself has a lot to do with the relationship working. You have to have that mindset when entering a new relationship , and you have to remember every Dominant is different , every Dominant has a different way of doing things , as well as different rules and standards.

trust

Vile

Student accused of sexual assault says ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ made him do it

Posted in abuse, assault, bdsm, Fantasy, fifty shades of grey, Rape, Safe and Sane, sex, sexual assault with tags , , , , , on February 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

By Marisa Kabas on February 24, 2015

THE DAILY DOT

If there’s any lesson we can learn from the intense controversy surrounding the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s that when it comes to participating in BDSM, consent is key. But a young man in Illinois claims not to have gotten the message.

Mohammad Hossain, 19, a freshman at the University of Illinois, was arrested in Cook County for allegedly sexually assaulting a 19-year-old woman. He said it was a reenactment of Fifty Shades.

According to Assistant State Attorney Sarah Karr, Hussein brought the woman to his dorm room and asked her to remove all her clothing, except her bra and underwear. He then bound her hands and legs with belts and stuffed a necktie in her mouth.

Hossain used a knit cap to cover the woman’s eyes, Karr said, and removed the woman’s bra and underwear. He then began striking the woman with a belt. After hitting her several times, the woman told Hossain he was hurting her, told him to stop “and began shaking her head and crying,” said Karr.

Hossain continued striking the woman—including with his fists, according to an arrest report—and she managed to get one arm, and then another, free. But he then held her arms behind her back and sexually assaulted her as she continued to plead for him to stop, according to Karr.

The young woman finally escaped and told police what had happened. Hossain was arrested later that night and a judge set his bail at $500,000.

Although the victim of the alleged assault claims she told Hossain to stop multiple times during the encounter, he appears not to have gotten the message. When asked by the presiding judge how Hossain could have “let a movie persuade him to do something like this,” Hossain’s attorney replied that her client considered the act “consensual.”

Why I want To Be Your Slave

Posted in 24/7, A slaves passwords, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Depression, Dominant with drinking problems, Dominants, Dominants who suffer from depression, Email, Inservice Slave, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 24, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First off I usually do not share something this personal, but I wanted to give some idea of the steps we took before entering a relationship. This was not a rush to judgement. Our relationship was something that was giving a lot of thought on both parts.

Arianna was going through her email last night and found an email that was in the very early stages of our relationship. A email that was not only deep in nature , but an email that set the pace of our awesome relationship. Many it seems it is much easier to put things on paper because it is much easier to express yourself. Sitting in front of someone when asked a direct question can cause some to mumble away out of nervousness. So if your ever in that situation let it be known your not ready to answer you need time. That statement is fair and needed sometime , unlike the TV shark tank where a decision has to be made right there and then.

Moving onto a D’s or M’s relationship is a huge step , you have to know exactly what your getting yourself into and you need to make sure your both on the same page. Being open and honest about your needs is very important.
If your a submissive and one of your hard limits is golden showers , but the Dominant you are talking to has a fetish with Showers , then you have a lot of thinking to do.

Warning signs you should look out for. A Dominant with anger issues, a dominant with anger issues is not a dominant , he is a predator. A Dominant with anger issues will abuse you and you can get hurt. A controlling Dominant , a controlling Dominant demanding all of your passwords to your different accounts, your social media accounts. This is not a Dominant this is an insecure male trying to bully his way into a relationship. If the Dominant your talking to is into pain and you are not , then he is the wrong Dominant for you.. That would be the same if you were thinking about seeing a Dominant who suffers from depression, although there are some who would disagree…. If a Dominant cannot control his own life in all matters, then how can he control you ?

It is like buying a pair of gloves , you want a nice tight fit, if it is to big it just will not fit right. Having the perfect it is very important…

Back to the email , I had a question that had seven words in it, once I asked Arianna the question , I told her she could have sometime to think about it. I asked the question because I wanted to know where she was coming from. I wanted to know her feelings and what she was thinking.

She did answer me in an email and this was her answer.

Why I want To Be Your Slave

Date:01/03/2013 8:55 AM (GMT-05:00)

These are Arianna’s words

Of all the titles that one can have, the title of Slave is rare. Only a true slave can fulfill their Masters needs.
I want to become a true slave.

In my mind, a true slave:

Can foresee their Masters needs.

Is available for service at any time

Has no safe words but relies on their Masters care and attention that He may take me a little further than I would normally go on my own.

Is an extension of their Masters hand.

Is open to new experiences.

Has a continually thirst to serve and be of service in any aspect the Master desires.

Trusts Master more than oneself.

Why I choose you?
You are strong and attentive. Caring and consistent.

Why do I want the title of Viles’s slave?
I believe that there is a lot to learn. That my mind has just barely touched the surface of M/s.
I have a longing for my body, mind and soul to be owned. I have a desire to be a captive to the imagination of You. I am clay ready to be molded. I am a virgin slave per se and I need to be controlled. I need to be bound. I need to be gagged. I need to be restricted. I need to be used. I need to feel like my body belongs to You. I long for the mind fuck. I want to lose control and let go. I want You to get in my head and make me Into Your pet. I want to lay at Your feet. I want You to become my sole thought. My sole need and desire. I wish I could flip a switch and give You all. Maybe after we have the house to ourselves I can take a week and just be there for you in an intense training. Naked, chained, fed by you. I can become anything you want. I want to go deep. If I could I would be with you 24/7. Ideally, I would love to be chained and work from home on the computer running your business.

Those are really deep words , and even today Arianna is finding and thinking of more ways to give more of her submission.
Second Arianna did go through a very extensive training plan for a period of 90 days. Those 90 days were the make or break it time. I would also like to add Training is continuous on going daily.

Once you have everything in place, rules , public and private, protocols both public and private the relationship really moves very smoothly…

universe

Vile

How Deep Is Your Submission

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anticipation, Arianna, ass fucking, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, control, controlling, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Forced Submission, fucking, Humiliation, kinky, Lies, Manic, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Security, Self Pity, slave, slave no limits, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I was looking at Arianna. I was thinking how fast time has flown by , but what I was really thinking is how lucky I am to have found the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I cannot say I built our home I have to say both of us built our home. It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to work together so it can continue to grow.
So for me to sit here and say Look at what I did , would be a false statement. I may of laid down the grown work but without Arianna it would not of been possible.

I am always very cautious of those who use the words I or me on a regular basis. Most who do spend a great deal of time bragging, about what they have done or accomplished.

I am a firm believer we write our own ticket , we decide where and when we are going to go. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our right and wrongs. It is us to sets the pace in our life and what happens. Now there are times a wrench gets thrown in and we have to back up a little, but staying true in what you believe and do unto others as you would do to them, hmmm did that come out right ?

Although there are not very many people I like , I treat everyone with respect. If I don’t like you I have nothing to do with you. I am not going to get wrapped up in others drama or problems , I have my own house to take care of.

Drama will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. Drama can destroy your home , drama can and will destroy your relationship no matter who brings it in through the door. It is not fair to bog someone else down with problems. This does mean you do not listen or help a friend in need , but there has to be a limit. Once it becomes a problem or a burden to you , then it is time to cut the rope unless you want to go down with the ship.

Submission is a beautiful thing , It puts you in a peaceful state of mind , the feeling of freedom , the freedom of being who and what you are, and you only have one to answer to. Your Dominant is the only one in your life you have to answer to, well excluding work but you know what I am talking about.

Just like meeting a New Dominant , and being asked about your limits. Well if your new to the life style you really have no idea. Being in a secure relationship with communication allows you to explore that side of you. Maybe you had limits in place, which is normal but as you grow those limits will slowly fade.

On Fetlife I love reading post when a guy says, I am looking for a bitch with no limits. What he is looking for is someone he can abuse and degrade and feel okay about it.
Early last year I was chatting with a Dominant who was mad because his slave left him because she would not fuck who ever he wanted her to. It was his right to make her lay down for who ever. The bad news is she came back , I am guessing maybe a codependent thing , maybe the feeling of being secure.
Can you really love someone if you just pass them around to just anyone ? Your going to fuck and suck who ever I say, where I say and how I say. Can that really be love?

There are those who share , there are those who explore but that is generally worked out between the couple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself am not the sharing type, well with a male anyway , a female would be different , but only if Arianna brought it up and she has a few times. Then you have to think about what your going to catch. It is not like it was in the 70’s when you could go get a shot.

You plant the seed , you water it , you fertilize it and it will grow. The same with your relationship. In a relationship your fertilizer is communication , and honesty. This allows the both of you to grow together..

All the kinks , the bondage , the cock sucking , the ass fucking , even to some the humiliation , the control , the submission. All of this comes as you grow , the more communication you have the more you will want to try or do, the more you will want to please the one who is in control.

In a steady long term relationship the submissive , or slave has the need to please and gets pleasure out of pleasing or know they are pleasing the one they are with.

Submission is not something you can demand , respect is not something you can demand. You will call me Sir , you will call me master. Really have you earned that much respect? I just met you why would I call you Sir? Maybe because it makes your ego swell. Maybe it fuels the Dominant inside you. Maybe you should earn that right.

Calling someone Sir or Mam is a lot different when your doing it out of respect than it is when being demanded.

I like the game , playing the game of earning someones respect , then one I am trying to form a relationship with. I like the challenge , I like the finding out how , when and where. I wait for that one word Sir. Then I know without a doubt I have been on the right track. Once you have earned that respect you have a wide open road.

When I met Arianna , I was truthful from the start about who I was and what I needed out of a relationship. I explained everything is such detail she had no questions. I am like that about anything I explain to her. Before I speak I look at every possible question that could be asked , even before Her Training started I explained everything is such detail she had no questions about anything , she just followed.

Following was her greatest down fall because she is one to trust to easy , she thinks other she had seen had her best interest in mind, just as many of you trust to easy. Under the wrong hands it can turn into a bad situation.

Rescuing and submission is not a good combination. You never as a Dominant want to be put in a situation where you are rescuing someone. Many times these are the ones who are wanting you to step in and clean up the mess they made. It is not that they cannot fix it , they just do not want to put in the time or resources it takes to fix.
Entering a relationship many do have some problems and some have problems they have no idea how to fix. If you feel you have a good chance in a long term relationship then it is okay to step in and handle a few things, just make sure your not on the Titanic with a bucket.

I told Arianna , I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. I want you to know when I need something. This was confusing to her at the start of our relationship. She asked me how am I suppose to learn all that , it seems your setting me up for failure?
Watch me and listen , that was the first 90 days of her initial training , and I can tell you the first 90 days was not a very easy task. Training is not made to be easy.
She watched and she listened and to this day she is on top of things. She is because it is a need for her. Her knowing she is pleasing me fuels her submission.

Knowing when someone needs down time is very important , knowing when someone has had enough and they just need time to let their mind go. This is something huge I believe in. Allowing Arianna down time , to see family and friends, taking her shopping. This place a huge role in supporting her.
You know at times Arianna gets somewhat Manic , that is her I accept her for who she is, but there are times you have to let the manic run its course , because slamming the breaks on something could do more harm than good, so I let out a little rope and if a mistake is made I fix it, not that there has ever been something drastic.
Knowing your partner means the world , knowing when to let a little rope out does more help than bad. Being there to pick things up , insures your partner you have their back.

Male insecurities , the two words that start almost everything argument , is what’s wrong ? These two words do more damage than anything , because it is not asked just once or twice especially is the answer is nothing. Then if the answer is nothing there has to be something wrong, so that question is just hammered until something is made up. This all comes back to the down time. Sometimes we just need to vegetate , think , let our mind go and just chill.

Who are you seeing? Are you cheating? Are you talking to anyone else? This means one or two things , the Dom you are seeing is very insecure which is not a good quality when it comes to a Dominant or he is the cheater. 99% of the time the accuser is the one who is stepping out , so then you need to ask him those same questions..

A Dominant who demands your passwords to all of your accounts that is a security problem as well as an ego problem, not to mention a lack of trust.
It cracks me up when these married fuck tards who are cheating on their wife does not trust their submissive. They cant be trusted but they cant trust the other one they are with. How fucking stupid is that? Fuck Tard was a nice word by the way.

We all choose our own path , you just need to make sure you are traveling down the right path , and you need to know your partner has your back..

Confused

Vile

What Kind Of Submissive Or Slave are you

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, anticipation, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, choices and consequences, communication, control, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Exploit, FaceBook Vile Woods, fucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, non-consensual, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We are all Different our personality’s , our lifestyle , our work. We are come from different backgrounds. Submission comes on so many different levels. Dominance comes on so many different levels, our kinks come on so many different levels….. More important our needs come on so many different levels.

Over the years I have grown , over the years I have made mistakes and I have paid my dues. Today I live by two words yea you know them Choices and Consequences , those two paths will lay out your whole life.

Submission, The state of being obedient : the act of accepting the authority or control of someone else. Those are some very deep words and words that need to be given heavy thought.

So you grab a pen and paper , a blanket and curl up on the couch and you let the thinking begin. I have posted something else about this , one was. There are seven different types of submissives , but as I was thinking about that topic I believe there are way more. To be put in any one group is not right or fair, so you have to get your thinking cap on.

Do you want to follow rules? Do you want structure ? How much power do you want to give up? Do you want just in the bedroom , the house or 24/7 ? You have a million and one thoughts so I would not think this is something you would complete in one sitting.

What kind of Dominant are you looking for? Strict ? One who gives you rules ? Protocols ? One who punishes when needed? One who keeps his word and tells the truth ? A Dominant who will listen to you , A Dominant who will communicate with you on all levels ?

You have to figure out your kinks , some you will not be sure of because you have not explored. What hard limits you have , medium and soft.
You must know the difference between the different Dominants. A Dominant and a Master are very different. A Daddy Dom is very different from the other two. Once you have kinda figured out where you think you would fit, then you can determine what type of Dominant your looking for….

Wanting someone who wants you for you, not someone who wants to try and change you. I take and improve on what I have to fit my needs. If you have to go through all those changes then you have found the wrong person, the wrong partner…

Acceptance in any relationship matters the most , being able to be yourself , be who you are and being free.

Many who are first entering the lifestyle will feel rushed , and may even have that feeling of being overwhelmed. It happens and this is when you have to sit and take control over your emotions and your thoughts. You have to learn to tell the difference between what your heart is saying and your head, most of the time your brain is right.

Limits , every Dominant wants to know what your limits are. Do you enjoy anal sex? Do you swallow ? Do you like Rimming ? Do you like humiliation ? Do you enjoy pain ? The most frequent question on the street today is are you BI ? Why is that number one I do not have a clue?

Being new to the lifestyle you have know know if what you want is fantasy or reality, not knowing has been the down fall of many relationships. If it is just fantasy and the relationship ends , then it was the Dom who abuse you , or so you think. Many times when fantasy meets reality it can be a crashing blow. Now your fantasy turns to fear and the Dominant ends up getting blamed for something you told him you wanted.

Being new and not talking to anyone in person who lives the lifestyle is really hard. While it is true you can chat on the internet , knowing if someone is telling you the truth or not is harder.

The number one rule you have to follow is never let someone tell you who you are , this is trying to change you and change the thoughts you have already put together in your head. You may say well I am a submissive , and someone try to tell you your a slave or a baby girl when in fact your a submissive. Your going to listen because this Dom has told you he has 100 years in the lifestyle. The key to your success in the lifestyle is being able to be you. The key is finding someone who will except you for you. If someone wants to change you then you are not be accepted for who you are.

If your asked a direct question then you give a direct answer. You do not at any time give an answer because it is what they want to hear. You answer with your first thought. Are you poly ? No I am not nor do I wish to be. Acceptance is the key word here.
Those two words again Choices and Consequences those two words will make you or break you and your answers need to be clear and straight forward.

Do you like pain ? You already know the answer to that question or you should if not then your answer would be , you know I am not sure I am willing to explore a little. A direct question gets a direct answer.

You have to remember every submissive is different , every submissive has different needs , just as with a slave or a Baby girl. Your needs are what is important , your needs should be met without resistance.

Rules are meant to improve not change you. Rules are meant to provide structure and guide you , not change you.
You must send me nude pictures everyday , that is not a rule , that is exploiting you , and do not think he is the only one who is seeing your pictures.

Do not think the first Dominant you meet is your last , if something does not feel right , then thank him for dinner and tell him it is just not you, you are not what he is looking for. Choices and Consequences.

The predators in the lifestyle truly out number those who are real and have their best interest in you. It does take time to figure out who is real and those who are just looking for a quick fuck. These types of predators will string you along until you catch on.

Remember this is your life , you are in full control of the outcome.

door

Vile

Fifty Shades Of Grey. What Christian Grey Lacked

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Anastasia Steele, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, commitment, communication, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, fifty shades of grey, Manipulation, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Rape, relationships, Rough Sex, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am far from perfect and I will be the first to admit , I do not know everything. What I share is my past 20 plus years in the lifestyle and as many active in the local community.
I have met thousands in the lifestyle , from Sadist who scared the fuck out of me , to totally wicked Domme’s, submissive’s of all kinds real and fake, slaves with different levels of submission, and then my relationships.

I have been with a Masochist I could not make cry , who fed off of humiliation , I have been a Daddy Dom as well. I have lived a D’s Lifestyle , but for some reason I was never complete.
I have had successful relationships that ended well, and I have had relationships that crashed and burned , due to my actions. I take full responsibility for the relationships not working because I did not think clearly or I used bad judgement. I am not going to put the blame on others when it was I who fucked up.

Most of the time when a D’s or M’s relationship falls apart it is the subs fault. The bitch was not real, she was just playing games. She was not a true submissive, she was not a slave, she could not, would not follow rules.
Now the above could be true , because there are some money grabbing women out there who are looking for a free ride , but it makes me think , how many times can someone lay on their back to get a car payment made, or to be a kept woman. There has to come when it just slaps them in the face. Maybe they think that little of themselves.

I have seen it I have done it , I bit off more than I could chew , and it just turned my whole fucking life upside down, and I would not give up. Well!!!! At least not until I could not stand anymore , maybe I enjoyed self punishment.

I have done this before , entered a relationship for security purposes , yea and you guessed it , that does not work either just for a short time.

A D’s or M’s relationship requires a lot of time. You are investing so much , but lets take a look at another way we are investing time.
Lets say you the Dominant buys a 1969 Carmaro Z28. You bought just the hull of the car . No doors , no hood, no bumpers, no interior , no glass, no nothing , what you have is a hull.
So what are you going to do now? You are going to rebuild it from scratch. You are going to make sure everything is right , your going to make sure everything is complete and not done half ass.

It is the same when you enter a D’s or M’s relationship. You are going to build from the bottom up to meet your needs. You are going to cherish and like me you will stand back and look and think to yourself , man look at what I have done. If your willing to invest all that time , why would you not follow the two main rules in life. Choices and consequences , those two thing will either make you or break you , if you break you will crash and burn.

So you have Anastasia Steele, who just happens to be a virgin , then you have the Sadistic Christian Grey who can only get off on rough sex , which I can relate to. i can also relate on being able to channel anger into positive outlets. Controlling my anger took years to learn how to control , but there are still things that can set it off but that is really very seldom and never towards my property. You will gain so much more out of life if you are in control of not only yourself but your surroundings.

Anastasia a 21 year old naive woman who meets a Dominant who has sadist tendencies. The result Anastasia walks into a world she has never known or perhaps never should of been introduced to that world.

The truth is very few sadist will take on someone who has zero experience in that type of the lifestyle. Second most sadist are not Dominants , it is usually one or the other. You can be a Daddy but not be a dominant. Every Dominant is different , every Dominant has different traits , every Dominant has different needs in their partner.

That is why when a Dominant is single and looking , he is looking for someone specific. The Dominant already has a general idea as far as what he is looking for.

The movie Fifty Shades was based mainly on sex , again nothing wrong with that. What happens is those who have no idea what the lifestyle is about and they see the movie , it gives most the wrong idea about those who are in the lifestyle. Here is the kicker , I have had two women send me a message and ask me if Christian Grey Raped Anastasia. So if there are two I am sure many more are thinking the same way , and under the circumstances I would tend to agree.

So every movie has a behind the scenes , movies have parts that are never seen, the public does not have a clue.

So behind the scenes , being a Dominant is no easy task. A Dominant is on call 24/7 , it is not a 9 to 5 gig.

What Fifty Shades failed to show and yes it is just a movie but if your going to try and mock a lifestyle you need to get somethings right.

It did not show the training that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the communication that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the care , or the emotional side of the submissive , like it did in the movie The Secretary.

There is a line that one can cross when it comes to the lifestyle , the broken line would be abuse, and rape. One in five women in their lifetime will be raped, maybe abuse is just as high. One thing that is very troubling very few are ever reported, and the numbers go even higher if a female is in the lifestyle and meets a new Dominant and is raped.

Behind the scenes , the structure , the rules , the protocols , and yes the punishment.

One thing I do not understand is how so many people could take a movie that is Fiction to heart. Many men will take this fiction movie to heart and the hunt is on.

Fifty Shade Of Grey is Fiction it is not real. If your truly interested in our world do your research , meet and talk with people..

Do you really want to live your life in a Fiction state of mind.

Life II Arianna BDSM

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Choices, commitment, communication, consequences, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, fifty shades of grey, Forced Submission, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

This was a blog my Slave Arianna posted about life and the curve balls that can be thrown at you.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

At times it seems life is not fair , it seems someone is always out to get you or nothing goes right , but when everything seems like it is just falling into place and things are running smooth , you are just waiting for that curve ball.

The key to life is living by the truth , doing what is right , treating others as you want to be treated , and avoid taking short cuts trying to beat the system. Last but not least remaining loyal to the one you love and the one who loves you.

We , meaning Arianna and I truly have no problems , we have zero drama in our life. Being in control of your life and keeping those out who want to try and poison you , again meaning anyone who wants to try and disrupt what you have.

Sometimes it is hard because at times you may even have to cut family off. There are those who feed off of drama , they need drama in order to live. These people are poison and poison does not enter my door.

I am not going to feed into your pity party , I am not going to feed into your oh poor me , I cant do anything right. If you know there is a problem , you know what the problem is, FIX IT..

Now if you come to me and say Vile I have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it will you help me , that is something I may consider.

I have spoken before about our Bubble , how we built a bubble to keep all the negative out , keeping all the drama out , other peoples problems , and those who try to disrupt what we have. I am very protective when it comes to my home and my wife and slave.

Sometimes Arianna and I will be out and a homeless person will approach us looking for money and 99% of the time I say no. Arianna ask me if I feel sorry for them and my answer is NO. We choose our own road , we choose our own path.

I may seem cold or heartless but I have learned over the years you have to protect your own because no one else will. The only one who has your back is the one who loves you , your partner. Many times today you cannot even depend on your own family , if they do offer to help you need to be able to give something in return.

Even being a Dominant there are rules in life we have to follow , we follow them to insure ours is taking care of, our home and family. When we start trying to take short cuts is when we fail.

The key is the Truth and only the Truth, if you tell the truth , you do not have to try and remember what you said. Telling a lie is something you have to keep covering up.. Just like someone who cheats , or abuses someone it never ends, not telling the truth is a never ending lie.

Life consist of two things and both have a powerful effect on our life, one being the choices we make , two being the consequences. Both have a huge impact on our life , and the decisions we make can either go the way we want , or we can crash and burn.

It is much different being in a Dominant role in a 24/7 relationship. Now we have two to think of instead of one. Our actions effect both now.

Just as the Submissive or Slave , the Dominant has to have an idea of what his life would be like with a partner. How he see’s his relationship. He has to have an idea of what type of submissive he is looking for.

The number one rule , Be careful what you ask for. That statement is very deep, because it gives you something to think about.

You the Dominant has to know how much responsibility you want to take over , you have to decide what type of protocols you want to put in place. You have to decide how much control you want handed over to you. You notice I have not mentioned rules yet.

Rules are meant to improve ones life, to help restructure , your taking old habits and creating new ones , good ones. It is impossible to give a submissive or slaves rules without knowing them on a personal level which does not include sex.

Once you agree to enter a relationship and you lay out your guidelines and what you expect, there is no turning back, it cannot be done, I have been there done that, and your relationship will fall apart and there will be no turning back.

Arianna’s post was very interesting , the thing is I know Arianna and I know the way she thinks. I watch and I observe on a daily basis. I keep the communication open and I make sure she talks to me, but then again I know when she needs to be left alone, I know when to let things ride for a while…. Knowing when to let something be until there is a better time will go along way in your relationship, instead of just trying to dig and dig and before you know it your at each others throat.

You can intimidate someone enough and they will submit out of fear and they will submit most of the time, but you have just wasted so much time and what you have is a bag of a lot of nothing.
You want your submissive or slave to give, you want them to have the need to kneel in front of you, with no shame.

A D’s Or M’s relationship runs way deeper than Fifty Shades Of Grey. Fifty shades shows one thing and that is kink and only kink. It does not explain what a true D’s or M’s relationship is about. It is really sad

cuffed

Vile