Little did I know my next two years were planned well ahead for me. I had already made up my mind it was time to settle down , but what I was looking for in a slave was still pretty confusing in my head. Think about it , in a sense your going to own someone , not just own completely own. This is my way of thinking when it came to the type of relationship I was looking for.
I dated and dated and dated and dated , my mind was like where do these fucked up people come from. Just out of Jail on probation ten thousand dollars in fines to pay yet , nine months pregnant and just left her Daddy because he was married carrying his kid, WOW! unemployed with three kids and willing to live a 24/7 Master and Slave relationship as long as she did not have to work. Another asking me what I can do for her if she submits ?
The list goes on and on. Most of the time when I met someone I would just sit and star thinking how could all of this really be true. It was like I had stepped into the Twilight Zone.
Ive always lived my own way , never bothered anyone , stayed to myself and I had a very limited friendship list , but the friends I had I knew I could depend on.
I was in a very bad Auto accident , I was hit head on by a girl doing 55 miles per hour. I was down for about 6 weeks. A Submissive I know named Jess loaded up her car and came and stayed with me for a few days and she brought Publix with her. Another good friend Master R would stop by nightly to see how I was doing calling first to see if there was anything I needed. My friends list was very short but they were real friends.
I was planning on moving to the Philippines, Angeles City , more night clubs per square mile than people. I had a Job already lined up and would be making enough to continue to pay child support and still live pretty good. The BDSM is for the most private but it still has a huge following , just knowing the right people.
Then I was introduced to Arianna , and after our first meeting , I had to make some sort of a decision because I already had to much in place , and now I had to take a gamble.
As a Dominant Submission is something we have to earn , in the process it can be a slow on going process. Earning takes my longer than demanding it, and then even if you demand and the slave plays that role , you really have not earned anything. It was giving at that point in time. When it is giving though demanding it is very short lived although we as Dominants may not see it that way but it is.
I talked the other day about the hunt and the thrill of it , earning ones submission is almost the same thing but you have to figure the slave out and have the ability of getting in her head and staying.
There is much more , being who you are , being completely honest , doing what you say you will do. Actually for the most it is the Dominants or the male who make things difficult. Expecting to much , setting the demands to high, rules that are not attainable, and expectations that cannot be reached and the amount of time promised.
One thing that many forget is once the slave or submissive agrees to submit , the outcome of the relationship falls solely on the Dominants plate. The Dominant is responsible for the outcome of the training.
Along with earning Arianna’s submission I also had to earn her trust , and it was some six months before I was able to do so. Remember she had been burned twice so because of those two Dick Heads I had a lot more extra work ahead of me, and I succeeded.
Arianna has two beautiful post on her blog one was last year and she just recently updated the first. When I read the second last night I was just blown away because yes it is true I still have much to learn and I learned a lot last night…
She speaks about how her submission was a gift but it was a gift that is giving one time. It is not something she gives when she wants or has the need.
The first is called. My Submission Is A Gift.
My submission Is a gift.
Journal Entry | 3 Comments · 5 Love It | about 1 year ago
My submission is a gift. A choice of my own free will.
A sub culture of slavehood. A decision based on pure need.
My submission is a progression of learned desires, of unrelenting tasks, of never ending thoughts of making my Masters life better.
My submission is heart felt, torn from my innermost fantasies and emotions. It’s a fire that burns, a longing that itches, a thrust into the depths of my soul.
My submission encompasses in its entirety through every fabric of my life. My social standing and my dreams are now entwined with another’s desires.
My submission is a gift.
Then part two which is on her blog as well.
my submission is a gift part 2
Journal Entry | 2 Comments · 2 Love It | about 20 hours ago
This is an updated version of my writing i did over a year ago called , my submission is a gift. In that first writing, i was still pretty new to my current dynamic. As time has gone by, my submission is defined in more explicit terms. Mainly, i would like to add that as with any gift, one does not have to keep giving in order for the recipient to recieve it. It’s a one way transaction. I gave, my Master recieved. It does not continue to be given because it was once And for all.
As with most gifts, one does not expect to get it back nor does one expect something in return. I’m grateful that my Master takes my health, both mental and physical, into consideration when he accepted my gift. I trust that he will continue. As with most owners, one does not want to break their toy but one has to consider internal enslavement. That the conditioning over time gives way for the slave to see no other option except to continue to serve the one she had submitted to.
So, some would argue that is not a true gift because the submissive requires something in return, an exchange. But for myself, At this point in my life, and for as far as i can see, i belong to one. I am his property. I gave my longings, my needs, my wants, my desires, my trust and myself over to my Master. I trusted him from the beginning. Now, i am a devoted servant. I am indebted to my Master because he is the one i serve. I am enslaved and forever changed. Something that cannot be quickly undone, a conditioning of the trust sense. As more time goes by the thicker the chain becomes. I am here for one purpose, and that is to live a life pleasing to Master. He decides what i am, what i do, what i like, how i serve and how i live.
To me, this is my slavehood. This is my purpose.
How deep you allow your submission is up to you. I do not believe there is a stopping point because we grow on a daily basis. As your submission grows your needs change and with those needs being met you grow inside. It is never ending. Dominance and Submission is not like a game of cards where there is one winner because in the right relationship both wins.