Archive for May, 2015

BDSM The Problem Is The Lack Of Education

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Education, BDSM Munch, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Collar, collaring ceremony, communication, Dominants, http://mast.net/history.php, kinkster, kinky, Living Poly, Living Triad, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, munchs, Open Minded, Protocols, slave, Stephan Pot, Submission, submissive on May 31, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am always starving not for food well yes I am but Arianna has put me on a diet , well she did not put me on one I agreed to go on one. I am starving for information when it comes to the lifestyle , I watch , I listen , and I ask questions. I am a people watcher , I watch and I listen, I am observing how someone sits , how they use body parts when talking , or sitting and bouncing knees when talking , nothing gets by me. Just meeting you , you have about 15 seconds to make a friend. I have very few friends and I have my reasons, my number one is drama , and two most of the time when you have a friend they have a motive , what can you do for them? Fifteen seconds to make a friend and I know after the first 15 or 20 words out of your mouth is I am going to like you. I can count on one hand and tell you how many true friends I have , and these are friends who would drop what they are doing if I ever needed them or something.
Even on Fetlife most of my friends on my profile I have met I have 49 friends and I have met roughly 40 maybe a little more. Someone will send me a request who lives ahhh I don’t know Dallas Texas and I look at their friends list and they have 5.000 friends man please. I have added people who follow my blog, and most of us email each other, but if you have 500 friends how are you going to make time for me?

The era of the internet , it has exploded over the past ten years , you can find anything and it is right at your finger tips. Dating sites have exploded , craigslist WOW , and even BDSM sites.

Before the explosion The lifestyle was still around it was just not as easy to meet people, so you had to kinda feel people out , it was like dark and underground. More Taboo , or sick , kinda like incest.
People were sneaking around not wanting people finding out who or what they were into. The long Trench coats with hates to cover their face , it was really funny.

There were kinky parties , Private dungeons you had to be invited to. You would be met somewhere , interviewed then a decision was made to let you come or not and many times the answer was NO.
Safety was a much bigger issue , the older Dominants looked out for the subs and slaves. The older Dominant would school the younger Dominants, it was a very tight group group a small community.

San Fransisco wow Broadway st. I was at a titty bar one day and had been there since it opened around 10am around 7pm I walk out then sun had gone down , and it looked like the village people convention , of course it did not help when I called the police and reported my car stolen and it was parked across the street. After the sun goes down San Fran is a different city , and I suppose at the age of 20 it was intimidating , as much as I remember. I enjoyed visiting fishermans wharf and china town the food was awesome.

While stationed at Ft Ord I happened to stumble across a few kinky clubs , but people were paranoid , kinda like smoking pot and you keep looking out the window. Sitting in someones house thinking they are going to be raided at anytime. I found this to be very awkward because we were doing nothing , except talking.

Even today most who are in the lifestyle are scared and ashamed of who and what they are. BDSM has to be a secret no one can know. What will my fiends think of me ? What will my family think of me ? Co-workers today all someone has to do is google your name , and it is out there. I was in my yahoo mail a month ago or so and I was messing around with the settings or something , and I called Arianna in because I found pictures that were taking in the 90’s online and I had no idea they were there.

It is not like I care but if something happened to me the last thing I want is my family going through my stuff and finding , rope , leather hoods , leather restraint’s , vibrators , rope put away all nice and neat. and a large dog crate in my closet and we do not even own a dog. So okay my family knows , most of my friends know well okay all because I do not have any vanilla friends..

Okay so your a professional and you do not want your life all over the break room, well if you think no ones knows, then your some kind of stupid. Over the years at work Ive been called out or little remarks were made and for the most I just ignored as if nothing was said , unless it got to stupid for me then I would speak up.

All of the above falls back to a lack of education and for the most you cannot educate the vanilla world because there is way to much stupid going around. People are so judgmental, politically correct , wanting to point fingers, telling you how your abusing your partner. The truth is it is their life that is all fucked up , and you know it but you cannot say anything.

I am not saying you put a BDSM patch on your back and announce to the whole world your kinky , but why live in fear ? Why worry what someone else thinks about you ? Why worry if your family finds out ? These people you worry about are any of them making your car payment ? Your house payment ? Maybe they want to flip the bill for your next service on your car ?

Living a double life is way to much work and I would imagine it is pretty stressful as well. Maybe kinda like Batman , or Superman

The lack of education within the community , where Arianna and I live there is Zero gatherings that off any type of lifestyle education. We did attended a munch Thursday night , fuck what a long day we had. Wednesday night one of Ariannas friends wanted to go to Karaoke , so you know me I was game. The Retro Room is the name of the bar, its okay the service for the most sucks, but the drinks are good. So after talking with the DJ for a little the blonde Bartender comes over and she says Tequila sunrise ? Yup thank you. So about every 20 minutes she would just bring another , and another , and another , then I asked for a double, and another and another, and when my face was numb I stopped, I knew I had enough. I love hearing Arianna sing and one night I will record it and post the music.

Although I drink some when we go there it had been a long time since I had been sideways , or what some may call blind, but I was feeling good. The couple that came is new to the lifestyle and I am trying to be nice on Arianna’s behalf because she really likes the submissive, who is really not submissive she is only acting the part because of her partner. Okay enough of that.

Home late I am feeling right and up at 7.30 out the door and we head to the west coast to a park called Fort Desoto.
fort-de-soto

Arianna wanted to go sea shell hunting for her salt water tank , so her little crabs would have new homes. The water was incredible I was chest deep and could look down and see my feet and all the small fish swimming around. At one point two manatees swam as near as a hundred feet from me , that was awesome.

So off we go head home we took a half hour nap , and off to a munch we go , I am some kind of tired. The restaurant was a small upscale place , with finger foods and wine. What was really awesome about 25 people showed up so the place was packed. They were suppose to close between 6pm and 8pm but they also had a wine tasting going on at the same time.

The topic was suppose to be safe words, but with the layout of the place it was almost impossible and with people walking in and out made it impossible. It was brought up to the moderator that there was no need to have educational classes and a monthly get together would be just fine.

Okay no problem but now you can start to see a pattern now , this is all about change and in someways I do understand but for the most I do not.
I have been talking to the moderator for a couple of months about getting something going and she agreed until Thursday night..

Last week I contacted MAsT International and I requested a New Chapter Formation Petition. So now all I have to do is wait it out to see if I can get approved.

http://mast.net/history.php

MAsT International is an educational based group for all genders who believe in power exchange relationships. Groups are held for all to learn and participate. Monthly discussions on topics about the power exchange relationships. Which would include safety, relationships , structure and so on. Like many Munchs or gatherings there is no play parties it is strictly educational.

The Weekly and monthly group Arianna and I attend , we were hoping the moderator was going to put something together as far as something educational.
That would of meant I could of helped instead on taking on a new project. That is not going to happen so now I will take things into my own hands. The key is to schedule so there is no conflict with other dates in the local community here, which can be done with ease.
I also believe in this area a MAsT would do well because there are those who are truly interested in learning , and we also have a population of around 200.000. Where we live it is called four corners meaning four counties are connected , so I am not just servicing one county.

The Kink side of BDSM is just a treat but it is not the base of the relationship. The enjoyment comes from the power exchange as long as it is consensual.
Setting the foundation , moving into the needs for the two, then exploring the inner self as you both continue to grow. Taking each and every step so it allows you to define your relationship, a TPE relationship can be awesome. It is when you start to try and cut corners , this is where the problem come into play. Once your negotiations are set in stone you can then move forward.

Stephan Pot here on wordpress sent me a comment about a collaring ceremony he was invited to , and was stating how intense it was. Collars are earned not giving because you want to own someone. As with anything it means nothing or has no value if something is not earned.

The education process has changed so much in the last 10 years , I do know change happens , and at times change can be good , but what I am finding what you are finding , what we are finding people are getting hurt , relationships are short lived, and some even take their own lives. This stems from the lack of knowing , the lack of education and the lack of caring.

dirt

Vile

The Triad Unicorn

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Poly Triad, slave, Submission, submissive, Triad on May 26, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna and I have been talking on and off for about a year adding another two our home. If you have read my blog in the past it was not I who brought the subject up.

I was speaking to a male slave not long ago and he was explaining him and his Mistress had been looking for a unicorn but the definition proved to be true, well for the most. A Unicorn is almost impossible to find , but I suppose it goes the same when looking for a real submissive , slave or a Dominant.

We have met a few but the click was just not there or the other thought I was to strict, We did spend Thursday at Bush Gardens with someone and it was really neat being out with someone , but the click was just not there and again I am to strict , or that is what I was told.. I am a very Structured Dominant , even in life you need structure , if you have no structure you have no vision.

I try to keep things at a distance because Arianna really gets attached pretty easy, so again keeping things from her is not easy because if she was to ask I have to be truthful.

So while we are not looking we are looking if that makes any sense. We did find out we enjoyed going out with someone else and would like to someday add someone to our family.

Also many of you know I have been wanting to start a local group , and I have to understand things are not always on my clock. However if everyone was on my clock the world would be in a much better place. So I have been in contact with MAsT International and I am almost ready to submit my application. I do have the support of another MAsT chapter and I am sure everything will fall like it is suppose to.

I am a huge news buff and I know right now there are a lot of fucked up things going on around the world and in our fine country , but I am not going to get into politics here , that would not be good.

I did tell Arianna I would love to run for president but for one I cannot afford it and two I tell the truth , and three I cannot be bought.
So I would have a phone to the House , the Senate , a Bat Phone , and my favorite would be the GFY and that is the Go Fuck Yourself phone…

I have been working on another blog as well , The Lack Of Education in the lifestyle, and should be finished here in the next day or so…

One thing I would like to do is a few more interviews with Dominants , Baby Girls , Subs and slaves.

You can email me at viledesires62@aol.com even if you just have questions…

kneeling62

Vile

So Your Thinking About BDSM

Posted in Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM 101, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Daddy Dom, fucking and sucking, Manipulation, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on May 18, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

A year ago I would of Pimped out Fetlife and there is still a lot of good info to be found as long as you do not comment or ask a question.
In the Beginning Fetlife was an awesome source of information and people willing to help. Today that proves not to be correct and the problem falls back on the group leaders not monitoring what is being said.

So you have done research , maybe you have made a few friends on fetlife , if your a submissive that is very important to meet others like you , you may be different as far as your thoughts maybe your kinks , the rules you want to follow and how you see your everyday life.

You can line up a hundred submissives and walk down the line and everyone is different, you can line up a hundred Dominants and every one is different, this is why the research is so important.

Many times you see yourself as one way but a Dominant will paint you a different picture , and when this happens it can cause confusion on your end.
If someone is trying to change you, then you are not the one for them, and that is okay because that is not the only Dominant or submissive in the world.

Your mindset you have to have the right mindset when entering a relationship, and yes again you have to have a plan. You have to know what you want and what you need out of a D’s or M’s relationship.

Our life is based on only two things , and those two would be Choices and Consequences. The result you are in control of about 98% of what happens in your life , with the remaining two percent leaving room for errors.

What kind of Submissive are you ? what kind of Slave are you ? What kind of Baby Girl are you ? How much control do you want to relinquish ? How deep is your submission ? These are all questions you need to ask yourself?

As I stated above research, research and more research is needed. Although there are thousands of websites and social groups many can and will pollute your mind. What you read is someones opinion , and only their opinion. I take what I read with a grain of salt mainly because I have my own vision. My own vision , a vision I have planned out for the present and the future.
The thing we have to know is everyone is different and their vision is different , and there are those who have no vision, I suppose some just wing it. Taking what comes and goes and not worrying about the choices and consequences.

You can never tell someone who or what you are , if you do they are trying to change you as a person and not accepting you for you. Although you are going to change , you want the change on your terms.

Your mind is going to race a thousand miles an hour , your thoughts and feelings will change on a daily basis, your needs will change on a daily basis until you figure everything out , or you may not figure everything out. You may need someone to take you and guide you , that is not changing you it is guiding you.

You should never let someone define who or what you are. Your a slave not a submissive , again that is someones opinion or someone wanting to change you , and again it is only you who knows who you are.

If your a baby girl or a submissive maybe a slave and all three of these have one thing in common once in a relationship you are going to notice you are growing more dependent. Knowing who you are will allow you to grow and you want to grow with someone who wants you to grow. If your going to grow somewhat dependent on someone you want it to be with someone who has your best interest in mind.

The lifestyle is not difficult , it is the thought process and defining your role that can be difficult. Having the strength to speak up and express your feelings or thoughts.

Something that really bothers me is when you hear another Dominant putting down another Dominant or saying he does not know what he is doing. The dominant is clueless about the lifestyle or he is a fake.
That is an opinion and opinions are like assholes everybody has one. Oh you need to read this book or that book, again that is someones opinion and what works for one will not work for another.

I have said before we are visual and if you google BDSM and click on images you get a definition of what most think BDSM is about, pain and humiliation. You hear but you do not listen, you see but you only see about 35% of what your looking at. A drive by shooting and twenty people see the same car but when questioned no one gives the same description.

If your going to allow a Dominant to train you , he must have a clear vision , he must have a plan and be able to explain what he is doing and why.
Training is meant to provide structure , guidance , self confidence , stability , security , and in some cases improve ones self esteem. Training is about open communication. If your training is about sucking cock or taking pain you are not into then you need to rethink your situation.

You have to be who you are not what someone else wants you to be..

Why is our Government so fucked up ? Because a group of men who cannot come to an agreement on anything. The thing we know is they do not have our best interest in mind. The same goes with a room full of Dominants , you will not be able to get two Dominants to agree on anything and chances are they do not have your best interest in mind mainly because someone wants to change who you are instead of helping define who you are. Hmmm did that make any sense ?

Image

Vile

I Don’t Want To Fuck You , I Want To Mind Fuck You

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Humiliation, kinky, Mind Fuck, slave, Submission, submissive on May 12, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The illusion , kinda like Michael Carbonaro , the TV show The Carbonaro Effect , is it really there , I saw it , I touched it, I made it happen.

The mind is so easy to fuck with , like being in a empty old house with no power at night , your mind starts to hear things and in some cases even seen things that are not there , or are they ?

A mind fuck is more than just being scared because the one your with you should have a full understanding of , a bond , you know each other inside and out and you trust your partner with your life. There is a difference in a mind fuck and just being scared shitless.

Mind Fuck the thought of doing something with no intentions of doing anything, sounds really freaky dose it not?

When you start taking senses away that ups the m ind fuck, such as sight in a nice tight hood, or you can add the ear plugs to deafen things out. Lighting scented candles two or three each one with a different smell. Tied spread eagle on a bed and she hears nothing , and the slightest touch throws the mind out of whack.

I remember a few years ago well maybe longer before I pulled the mind fuck in the bath room, with the same slave we were at my friends place, he is a Dominant I have known for years.
Animel had the coolest setup , he actually lived in a large warehouse , living space was about 400 sq feet with a wall separating the living quarters , was a garage and a dungeon.
I had K tied to the rails of a dun buggy arms and legs spread wide ass open and I had been using a very heavy flogger on her , she had a ball gag in her mouth and she was blindfolded. As I was swinging the heavy flogger between her legs I could hear popping , K began to make loud noises so I stopped pulled the gaga out and asked if she was okay? K said your hitting my clit , I said I know and I put the ball gag back in her mouth.

I had this bug zapper that looked like a tennis racket I was using on her nipples and I could see the goose bumps all over her skin and one time I held it to a nipple she pissed right there on the floor.

I made the comment you like big cocks yes and she nodded , so I pulled the hood off and walked out of the room , when I returned I was holding a dildo that was roughly 3 feet long and about 18 inches around and when she she saw it she passed out.
What was really funny a professor from a local University came over to animels shop. Animel ran the maintenance department for Mitsubishi for years and still had hundreds of manuals. The Professor a black man walked up to Animels shop the bay door open and there was K handcuffed to the dune buggy. The gentleman looks at me and I am holding this massive dildo , and he is trying to explain to Animel what is wrong with his SUV. So Animel starts digging through this Manuel’s moving large dildos out of the way, and the guy is looking at me and K.
The guy says maybe I should come back another time and Animel says today is no different than any other day and he keeps looking for the right Manuel, I am still holding this massive dildo, and K is about to cry from embarrassment. So the guy says you know what ? I have seen some shit in my day , but I will never forget today , have a nice day.

There are two kinds of mind fucks , the first is I do not really give a fuck about you but I need my dick sucked so I will stick around. The other is what I call erotic mind fuck.
The first is when your just being used , but you don’t see it , but you stay in a mass confusion state trying to figure things out but you never will because its not meant to be. Things will only change when you get smart to what is going on.

It is good to have a routine but a routine the slave will not be able to figure out , once that happens it is game over. Having a routine but mixing things up is kinda like a mind fuck , you keep the slave guessing, and this keeps them on their toes.

The mind fuck is making someone believe your going to do something your not. You can put a knife in the freezer for a while and if you touch the skin it feels like your actually cutting. Or if taking pictures is a hard limit and your sub or slave is tied down you start acting like your taking pics or even filming only to find out when it is all said and done there is no film in the camera.

Get inside the head and you can dance around for hours..

exploited

Vile

What Makes Her A Whore

Posted in Arianna, Asian Women, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Being fucked, cheating, cheating wives, cheating women, Choices, commitment, communication, consequences, Deception, Fake submissive, Gang Bang, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, oral sex, pussy, slave, sluts, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Trailer Trash, Whores on May 11, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Even when I was younger and in school we would all gather in the bathroom to catch our morning smoke and a few guys would talk about the different whores or sluts in school.
The thing most women do not understand is no matter the age men still talk , and the talk is much more interesting because now we know what we are doing.
Just like in the 8th grade we had beverly who loved to fuck and then we had Jamie in the dugout after school and 5 of us were banging her. The smell of pussy was very strong , no love making just plain out animal fucking , sucking cock while being bent over. One thing now as I look back that was stupid we had no condoms and all five of us dumped our cum inside her. Days after we talked about how we wore her out and how she was walking funny . The thing is she did not mind all the talk , which I found interesting.

One thing that never changes though is it is never a girl who was fucked or a woman , it is always man I fucked that bitch so hard I almost broke her back , or dude that whore knows how to suck cock, man she is a dirty little slut. Makes me kinda wonder what the women talk is like , but I do know a little.

I have spoken before about how I use to drive a cab during events in Daytona Beach because you can make some mad money in a short length of time. My last spring break before Daytona fucked it up I made like 12.000 dollars in 60 days including race week and bike week. i called it stupid money because when people get drunk they get stupid throwing money everywhere , a 20 dollar cab ride and the dude throws you a 50 just fucking crazy.
Spring break was always fun I never turned on my radio , instead I just cruised up and down A1A picking up flags and for 12 hours it was never ending, fuck I hated when my shift ended.
One night I pulled up in front of a club called Razzels , Razzels is like a hip hop club , the cops are always sitting outside because of all the fights, but one night I slowly pulled up front and out came 5 girls from Mississippi flagging me down and when I got a close look at the one getting in the front seat , I was thinking holy mother of Jesus this bitch is fine half Asian and half American and a skirt so short when she sat in the front all I could see was purple panties.
Speed limit 35 mph and going 7 miles to their hotel which they paid a hefty price for, but the laughing and screaming , making out with each other in the back, talking about sucking cock in the bathroom and how their boyfriend would never find out.
While driving this girl in the front seat had one leg up on the dash and I am trying to watch where I am going and watching the mirror at the same time, then I hear a moan and I look to my right and this Asian chick is fingering herself and then taking her finger out and feeding it to one of the girls in the back, man fuck me with a chain saw. This shit went on for 60 days or so….

So what makes a woman a whore or even a slut ? Because she likes to fuck or suck cock ? Because she enjoys being single and not committing to a one on one relationship ? Because she enjoys multiple partners ?
If you think that then you have a very shallow simple mind. Your way of thinking is very self centered.

So if women who fuck more than one dude is a whore , why do men not fall into the same category? The male is not a whore he is a stud looking to put another notch in his belt.
I am not putting men down but most males have such a shallow mind and are driven by their cocks but there are two sides to every story , because some women can get pretty stupid as well.

So what is my definition of a true whore , or a slut ? It is really pretty simple most may disagree but I am good with that. I rag on men who cheat all the time but there are just as many women.

My definition of aw whore is a married woman who is out fucking while her husband is at work and her children are in school. She is not going to leave him because the one she is fucking cannot provide the security she has at home. She is not going to leave in fear of losing what she has and most of the time the guy she is fucking makes less than hubby.

So do you like playing Russian Roulette ? One bullet in a revolver just one and every time you fuck around you come home pick up your gun , spin the cylinder, put it up to your head and pull the trigger. That is what your playing every time you fuck around , because what you can catch today is a death sentence . It is not like it was in the 70’s when you would go and just get a shot, today you can die.

The prescription that will solve everything is communication , you may not think hubby will listen but he will , if you go to him in a calm way and give him an ultimatum , he will bend.
The bottom line is if your not happy leave , pack your bags , file for divorce and spend all that time dragging your kids through the mud, as well as your family.
Leaving is really the best option…

Remember life is based on two things. Choices and consequences

whore

Vile

Anyone Having Problems With Their WordPress ?

Posted in bdsm, wordpress on May 10, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am wondering if there are others experiencing problems with their wordpress. Most of mine will not load , such as stat reports and my dashboard .

As I look at others I follow theirs seems to be fine.

I have cleared cookies ans history but no change , maybe this is wordpress’s way of causing me problems ?

Vile

Arianna and I met an Awesome D’s Couple

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, meeting a D's couple, submissive on May 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have been emailing another Dominant from Texas for a while now , I knew he was planning a vacation and would be spending about a week in Orlando Prior to jumping on the big boat and taking a nice cruise.

We arranged to meet for dinner a really nice Mexican restaurant and we had dinner together. It was a pleasure to meet both and we had some good conversation or as much as I could gather.
Arianna had a very long 4 days and driving a total of 17 hours , so I was still pretty beat , I think you call is drive lag.

Although him and his wife have been married for 25 years and what makes it more awesome this was actually their Honeymoon and she was his princess.
What makes it more than awesome both are going through a transition right now and are moving into a D’s relationship.

They are both active in the local community , she is very shy but as he explained she is beginning to open up more and more each day. Now not only are they active but he is reaching out to others in the community and absorbing as much information as he can. He truly has a hunger to learn.

In their area there are groups who actually have classes about the lifestyle , Dominant training programs and the steps that are needed to become the best you can be.

Arianna said I was really quiet but I was absorbing all the information even being tired , and truth be known I was in total awe. It has been a very long time since I had met someone who was so serious about this awesome lifestyle.

Right now they are finding their own way , finding out what works for them , he spoke about rules and protocols and slowly making that transition.

It is not often I click with someone , but I even went as far as wanting to have dinner again before they headed back to Texas, maybe , maybe not there is always next .

I hope they both enjoy their belated Honeymoon and I also hope they both continue to grow..

Vile