So Your Thinking About BDSM

A year ago I would of Pimped out Fetlife and there is still a lot of good info to be found as long as you do not comment or ask a question.
In the Beginning Fetlife was an awesome source of information and people willing to help. Today that proves not to be correct and the problem falls back on the group leaders not monitoring what is being said.

So you have done research , maybe you have made a few friends on fetlife , if your a submissive that is very important to meet others like you , you may be different as far as your thoughts maybe your kinks , the rules you want to follow and how you see your everyday life.

You can line up a hundred submissives and walk down the line and everyone is different, you can line up a hundred Dominants and every one is different, this is why the research is so important.

Many times you see yourself as one way but a Dominant will paint you a different picture , and when this happens it can cause confusion on your end.
If someone is trying to change you, then you are not the one for them, and that is okay because that is not the only Dominant or submissive in the world.

Your mindset you have to have the right mindset when entering a relationship, and yes again you have to have a plan. You have to know what you want and what you need out of a D’s or M’s relationship.

Our life is based on only two things , and those two would be Choices and Consequences. The result you are in control of about 98% of what happens in your life , with the remaining two percent leaving room for errors.

What kind of Submissive are you ? what kind of Slave are you ? What kind of Baby Girl are you ? How much control do you want to relinquish ? How deep is your submission ? These are all questions you need to ask yourself?

As I stated above research, research and more research is needed. Although there are thousands of websites and social groups many can and will pollute your mind. What you read is someones opinion , and only their opinion. I take what I read with a grain of salt mainly because I have my own vision. My own vision , a vision I have planned out for the present and the future.
The thing we have to know is everyone is different and their vision is different , and there are those who have no vision, I suppose some just wing it. Taking what comes and goes and not worrying about the choices and consequences.

You can never tell someone who or what you are , if you do they are trying to change you as a person and not accepting you for you. Although you are going to change , you want the change on your terms.

Your mind is going to race a thousand miles an hour , your thoughts and feelings will change on a daily basis, your needs will change on a daily basis until you figure everything out , or you may not figure everything out. You may need someone to take you and guide you , that is not changing you it is guiding you.

You should never let someone define who or what you are. Your a slave not a submissive , again that is someones opinion or someone wanting to change you , and again it is only you who knows who you are.

If your a baby girl or a submissive maybe a slave and all three of these have one thing in common once in a relationship you are going to notice you are growing more dependent. Knowing who you are will allow you to grow and you want to grow with someone who wants you to grow. If your going to grow somewhat dependent on someone you want it to be with someone who has your best interest in mind.

The lifestyle is not difficult , it is the thought process and defining your role that can be difficult. Having the strength to speak up and express your feelings or thoughts.

Something that really bothers me is when you hear another Dominant putting down another Dominant or saying he does not know what he is doing. The dominant is clueless about the lifestyle or he is a fake.
That is an opinion and opinions are like assholes everybody has one. Oh you need to read this book or that book, again that is someones opinion and what works for one will not work for another.

I have said before we are visual and if you google BDSM and click on images you get a definition of what most think BDSM is about, pain and humiliation. You hear but you do not listen, you see but you only see about 35% of what your looking at. A drive by shooting and twenty people see the same car but when questioned no one gives the same description.

If your going to allow a Dominant to train you , he must have a clear vision , he must have a plan and be able to explain what he is doing and why.
Training is meant to provide structure , guidance , self confidence , stability , security , and in some cases improve ones self esteem. Training is about open communication. If your training is about sucking cock or taking pain you are not into then you need to rethink your situation.

You have to be who you are not what someone else wants you to be..

Why is our Government so fucked up ? Because a group of men who cannot come to an agreement on anything. The thing we know is they do not have our best interest in mind. The same goes with a room full of Dominants , you will not be able to get two Dominants to agree on anything and chances are they do not have your best interest in mind mainly because someone wants to change who you are instead of helping define who you are. Hmmm did that make any sense ?

Image

Vile

8 Responses to “So Your Thinking About BDSM”

  1. Makes a lot of sense, how can you build a house if you don’t have a clear cut plan of how to build it.
    I was at the munch and later at the Dungeon this past weekend. There were two younger couples there, it was nice to see younger people having an interest in the lifestyle but what was really good to see is they were both being mentored by a Domme and Master that has to date 25+ years in the lifestyle.

    • Yes John that is awesome , you do not see that to often. I wish we had more that would reach out.
      Let me know when the dust settles so we can hook up I would love to pick your brain

  2. Love this. Thank you!

  3. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    Fetlife is still okay

  4. missagathaarmstrong Says:

    As always Sir Vile – beautifully written … thank you. The more i read about these things – the more i believe that Mr F is truely God given. it was only until five years ago that i even discovered that i was not a freak of nature. One very dodgy Master… and then Mr F. He and i learn together – slowly and carefully – but it is such a match…. i am truely blessed.

  5. This was spot on…
    Training is meant to provide structure , guidance , self confidence , stability , security , and in some cases improve ones self esteem. Training is about open communication. If your training is about sucking cock or taking pain you are not into then you need to rethink your situation.

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